1823 Episode 1809 - Smith's Sex Ed. 4 (Come to think of it, we've had a bad example before, haven't we?)

"Master Takeo, what is the 'search for self' or 'formation of self'?

Smith asks.

Smith asks, "It's the time when you think about who you are all the time, and the time when you realize that you are who you are.

I think that's probably the hardest part of parenting.

"Is that so?

Smith asks.

Yes, the search for self is about recognizing where you are now.

"I don't understand, Master Takeo.

"I don't know, Master Takeo," Smith said honestly.

I don't know, Master Takeo," Smith says honestly, "and I admire your honesty.

Well, what I mean is that up until now, before I became a rebel, I was at the bottom of the hierarchy in my house.

My parents gave me knowledge and told me what to do.

I was at the stage where I thought it was okay to learn and do as I was told.

Yes, that's where the rebellion comes in, isn't it?

Yes.

What I mean by this is that it's like me going out on the town for the first time.

The first time you see the city, there are people of different ages, races, appearances, speech patterns, and behaviors that you have never seen in your home before.

And when they see me, they talk to me reverently, or they talk to me coercively.

What do you think I'll think then, Smith boy?

"...Confused...I guess.

Smith said thoughtfully.

Yes, confused.

If I were to add a few more words, I would say that I would be confused by the sudden evaluation by others.

However, since I have been educated in the house, I have developed the ability to think about the meaning of what others say.

At this time, I can confirm what I am through the evaluation of others.

This is the basis of the search for the self.

Smith nodded, "So you're saying you know yourself by what they think of you?

Smith nodded.

Yes, that's right.

But this is the hard part.

Smith boy, suppose 'I' confirm what 'I' am by 'I' seeing what's going on around me, right?

Yes.

Who would confirm that the position I've identified is in line with public perception?

Wouldn't that be... your parents back home?

Smith-boy, I'm in the middle of a 'rebellion against the establishment'.

Oh, I can't talk to my parents... no one can check?

Master Takeo, are you sure about this?

"Normally, what is in line with the public perception is the correct perception in society.

If it is in line with that correct perception, then there is no problem.

Smithson, how do I know if I'm on the right track?

'I' don't want to talk to my parents at the moment, and I don't like having them or any adult explain things to me.

"Hmm... hmm...

Smith is troubled.

"...

Takeo didn't rush him, but waited for Smith to find the answer.

Oh, how about a classmate?

Yes, that's one thing.

It's a little narrow, so we should include brothers and sisters of similar age.

It's a time when you can find out where you stand by consulting people of your own age and confirming that what I have confirmed is not out of line with the world.

Smith boy, do you understand?

"I'm not sure if I got it or not...

What's important here is that you need to consult with others and take their suggestions seriously, rather than just accepting what 'I' have confirmed.

This will allow you to correct any discrepancies between your perception and the rest of the world's, and to recognize me with the correct perception.

"Huh? Are we having a discussion here?

Yes, it is.

Takeo nodded at Smith's question.

In this period, there is a bias towards self-awareness due to the fact that there is far less discussion with adults, peers, siblings and siblings.

It can be a bit painful to get through this, but it is essential to talk it over with family and friends.

Keep your mind at ease and go about your day.

"Huh...

"In particular, the 'evaluation by the other person' that we talked about earlier... if you have a more skewed perception, you'll start 'evaluating others based on yourself'.

"What? Isn't that too different?

Smith asks.

No, but it's the only two ways to think at this time... I don't know why.

Well, let me give you an example, in a situation where "he got a better score than me in the exam", if it was "I" who was looking at things with the right perception, I would say "he must have spent more time studying than me, I will try harder to get a good score like him in the next exam".

Now, what if I were to evaluate others based on my own standards?

"Master Takeo, I have a bad feeling about this.

Smith interrupted him, as if he had sensed something.

But Takeo has no intention of ending the conversation.

I don't know.

If you were to evaluate others by your own standards, you would think, 'Why did I work so hard and lose to him, I must have done something wrong, what a cowardly thing to do.

"Yeah, yeah... Takeo-sama, how is that possible?

SmithBoy, those who look at things according to their own standards do not 'put themselves in the middle and look around', but 'put themselves at the top and look around (・・・・・・・)'.

This is what leads to bullying, discrimination and insults.

Because he can't study as well as me, because he's uglier than me, because he talks and acts more childishly than me, because he has less money than me, because his family is poorer than mine, because his family is less prestigious than mine... How high up does he look?

Ah, come to think of it, did I get tangled up with a kid like that when I first came to King's Landing?

At least let's recognize that it's not my imagination at all, but a real way of thinking.

Takeo said this with a smile, but Alma and Leila could only laugh dryly.