This task was certainly more difficult than anything Eldrian had tried before. He had learned to control his own lifeforce. He could even... 'Who was it who trained me? I can remember someone helped me master...'
The years spent on the Realm of Time meant years detached from his old life. Decades of observing all of creation. Years in which his sanity had been broken, and years in which he had slowly accepted his new reality. Been born anew, as an observer.
His heart had been so sure when he had tried to return to Earth, but now... Now he wasn't sure why he had done that. Why had he left the safety of the Realm of Time?
Time had passed. A lot of it. In Eldrian's conscious experience, his life on Earth felt short compared to everything else he had experienced. So short, that it almost seemed inconsequential. Like a fleeting dream he had had, once upon a time.
Once upon a time...
'No, this is reality.' He told himself, but his heart failed to believe it. After so long in solitude, it seemed strange to find that reality wasn't solitude itself.
But he knew it was the truth. He had seen the twisted truth beyond the face of "reality". And that didn't make his life any less meaningful. That didn't make his family... 'I made a promise to myself... What was it again?'
There had been a reason for him to undertake the risk of returning. He couldn't let it all end without trying to change fate. He couldn't accept that his life, and that of his loved ones, would end without any voice of opposition.
But... Eldrian couldn't remember this reason. The time spent in the Realm of Time seemed to play over the rest of his life. When he tried to recall anything, that was the first thing on his mind.
Despite how desperate his situation was, Eldrian's mind continued to wander. His inability to recall things that he was so confident were important to him, slowly ate at his will. He knew there was something more, but he could not name it.
And now, with to think. Death was waiting, but it was behind the door. His immediate situation had calmed, and his mind tried to make sense of things. And Eldrian wondered... and wondered... and wondered....
Until he felt the cold scythe placed on his neck once again. A reminder that life was fleeting. That distractions were deadly.
He had to leave his uncertainties behind. He had to focus on surviving. If he died now, then he would never find the answers to why he had risked it all.
He had never tried to take lifeforce directly from other living things. But he knew it was possible. Vampires were the easiest to mimic. By taking physical parts, essential parts like blood, from their victims, they could gain extra power.
Eldrian understood the reason well enough. And he didn't need something more complicated to trip him up. He couldn't spare the effort to siphon the Elemental's lifeforce directly. He would simply burn the Elemental's bodies. Not with fire, but with pure mana.
As he spoke, Eldrian realized that he was the only one to think this "simple". And, honestly, it wasn't. But the concept had been. Make a mass of pure energy inside his soul that he could use to attract and anchor time to. Thus allowing his soul to have a real connection (separate from his conscious experience) with time.
Or that had been the theory. A theory he now knew was impossible since the flow of time wasn't a natural law, but instead an arbitary one that Chronos had created and tied to all of creation.
Eldrian was still extremely vexed by this realization. It turned everything on its head and made the crisis that Earth was facing look inconsequential. Of course, his first priority was still making sure his home survived. He had family and friends he cared about.
He was sure he did.
Even if he couldn't recall anything about them.
He looked at his friends and tried to remember all they had been through. All he had been through. His life on Earth. Yet, he found his past missing 'Why can't I remember their names? I just...'
As worrying as his lost memories were, he started wondering if it was truly important. Thinking back, Eldrian tried to recall what had happened before his experiment. But, honestly, he couldn't remember. He had no recollection of the state of the war in ANW. Only that there was a major war and that it had stalled out.
'I know I have a sister... We were close, weren't we?' He asked himself. Trying to formulate some memories he could use to build upon the rest. 'And I surely have parents, but...'
'And... and... did I have a girlfriend? No, I don't think so.'
'I know I had a teacher, she was... a goddess, wasn't she? No that sounds insane. Was I some horny teenager lusting after my teacher? That's just sad...'
'And I had a partner. My best friend... But he wasn't human. I remember a black coat and green feathers... But... is that really possible?
How can...'
Eldrian wanted to focus on these memories. But he knew doing so would lead to him becoming distracted. Yet, he couldn't let them go. He had this fear that if he did... he would never remember them.
'Am I losing more and more of myself?' Eldrian finally realized the truth. The void connecting him and the Realm of Time was consuming his soul. And his memories with it.
And, clearly, it was consuming his oldest memories first. And that was where all his most important memories lay.