CH 68

Her voice was so impossibly calm to the point of indifference, but the last few words she uttered trembled ever so minutely.

“You’re a perfectionist, Young Lord. And, even more than that fool, Mikhail— To be honest, I believe that you’re even more arrogant than he is. You’re the kind of man who has to have everything in the palm of your hand, easily available so that you can do whatever you want with them. Isn’t that so?”

“…I didn’t know you paid so much attention to me.”

“You seem to have changed overnight, so abruptly spewing apology after apology, but how can I believe any of your words? I’ve suffered through the same thing for years.”

As Violet steadily cleared her trembling voice, she remained silent for a short while before she continued again.

“And regardless whether I forgive you or not, I cannot believe anything that you say. The moment you judge that I am lacking, or the moment you regard me as someone unnecessary or useless… You might just change your attitude towards me like a simple flip of the coin.”

“……”

“Think about the notoriety that’s been inscribed to my identity all these years. Beyond being Everett’s wicked woman, isn’t it that I’m likely to be written down in the history books as the Empire’s villainess of the century? Or perhaps it would be more likely that I’d disappear completely after one final trip to the gallows?”

The words were spoken as if in jest, but her voice remained calm and serious. As he was reflecting on the past, Roen chewed on his lips. Hadn’t he shown such changeable behavior to Aileen just a short time ago?

If a person could change his attitude easily twice before, couldn’t it happen for a third time as well?

Despite being shown such goodwill, it’s impossible for Violet to accept it sweetly because the time that she had been hurt went on for far too long.

Violet would not trust anyone easily. Especially her own family.

Once abandoned, it’s only natural for one to be afraid to form relationships.

“It’s not unreasonable for you to think so. But Violet… What I’m saying is…”

As Roen had been listening to Violet in silence for a long time, he finally, gradually opened his lips to speak. A visible mark had been left on his lips as he had chewed them for that long.

“You’re my younger sister. Because we’re family, that’s why…”

“……”

To push down the emotions that were threatening to burst out, Violet had to purse her lips tightly.

Because they’re family, he said. Blood was thicker than water, and they had that connection between them—that’s why.

With such a relationship, family members were bound to be closer to each other than anyone else. But at the same time, they were also the same people who were vulnerable to wounds inflicted upon another, vulnerable to such contempt and scorn hurled at each other.

Even now, the memories of Violet’s childhood still lingered incessantly, affecting her life now.

She pitied herself. She felt sorry for Violet because of the life she had to live. The extent of Violet’s wickedness was directly proportional to how big her wounds were.

Even now that their personalities had become mixed together, there were still times that she thought it was all her fault.

“People don’t change so easily, Young Lord. You won’t change, and I won’t change. Just as my hatred will remain, so will your arrogance.”

Forcing someone to accept an apology was also a form of violence. Roen kept saying that she didn’t have to forgive him, but at the same time, he persistently tried to apologize to her anyway.

None of this meant that the time in which she suffered would disappear.

“It’s not because I had to be perfect… Do you remember? When we were children, Elder Brother and I favored you completely and cared about you a lot. Cairn also said that he likes only his older sister.”

Roen’s feeble voice continued.

“It’s just… Yes. Back then, I thought that it was because of me that my younger sister had gone down the wrong path, that’s why I did all that. To be honest, I felt that it wasn’t right, but because everyone kept acting the same way, I copied them and didn’t try to find out the real reason behind everything… I had rationalized my actions and thought that it was for you, but in fact, all those actions just hurt you more…”

Violet just listened to him without a word.

“What I did was nothing more than self-satisfaction…”

As Roen continued, his voice gradually became rougher. This all just sounded like a crude excuse—and Roen himself was aware of this, too.

He had believed that he wasn’t a bad speaker. But now, as he was finding it increasingly difficult to continue speaking, Roen tried to smile, releasing a trembling exhale full of tension.

“That’s why, I… I truly am sorry. You’re my younger sister— You’re my real younger sister, but I… I know that you’ll hate hearing this, but we’re still family.”

Listening to those words, Violet’s hands clenched into fists. She was still looking out the window and so Roen didn’t know what kind of expression she had on now, but he continued speaking with an awkward smile.

“I didn’t know you knew me so well. And you said that I’m arrogant… I didn’t know that you didn’t like such arrogance. It’s difficult to believe, but I will try. I will try to make up for all the times that I hurt you, and…”

He trailed off.

Roen thought that their father was an indecisive and weak man, but he was struck with the realization that he was the same.

Violet did not answer. She just continued looking out the window.

Rather than answering right away, she needed time to process what Roen just said.

The silence that stretched between them was brief, but it felt like an eternity to Roen.

And, finally—

“…Okay.”

He was given a short answer.

Just a single word. Devoid of resentment, devoid of condemnation, and devoid of forgiveness.

But Roen was certain.

Even Violet would not forget the past, and even though her anger would remain…

“…Let’s get along well from now on, Vee.”

“I never granted you permission to call me by that name, Young Lord.”

“…Yeah.”

…This was a turning point in their relationship.

As silence once again dawned upon the carriage, it finally reached the gates of the capital.