CH 80

Qin Kaiyi had considered a lot of possible endings between him and Shen Feixiao, but the only thing he never thought of happened.

His face froze. He watched Yan Gu’s mouth open and close, but he couldn’t hear what he was talking about.

“Qin Shi? Qin Shi what’s wrong with you?” Yan Gu saw that Qin Kaiyi looked as if he had lost his soul, completely unresponsive to his shouts. Yan Gu panicked for a moment: “Qin Shi?”

“It’s okay…” After Yan Gu pulled at him and fiercely shook him a few times, Qin Kaiyi finally came back to himself. Qin Kayi rubbed at his face and barely managed to give a weak smile, saying to Yan Gu: “Yan Gu, I’ll tell Shen Feixiao to let you go… you… hurry and leave ba.” 

“…” Yan Gu observed Qin Kaiyi’s abnormal state and frowned. He wanted to say something to comfort Qin Kaiyi, but found that he really had nothing to say. In fact, from the start he didn’t understand why Qin Kaiyi dealt with Shen Feixiao the way he did. 

“You leave ba.” Qin Kaiyi lay back on the bed, his expression full of exhaustion: “I want to calm down a bit by myself.”

“Okay.” Yan Gu could only reply like this at this time. He knew that it would be useless to say anything else, so he sighed and left, leaving Qin Kaiyi alone in the room. 

“… Shen Feixiao.” Qin Kaiyi gritted his teeth and squeezed three words out of his mouth, and then didn’t know what to say.

Yan Gu’s arrival was obviously arranged by Shen Feixiao. At first Qin Kaiyi was a little puzzled about what Shen Feixiao intended, but the moment when Yan Gu said the sentence, “this world is not reality to you,” Qin Kaiyi had no way to continue to deceive himself.

There was no doubt… Shen Feixiao must have grasped a bit of the situation. 

Maybe he knew his ultimate goal, maybe he knew that this world was completely imaginary to Qin Kaiyi, maybe he knew…

Qin Kaiyi didn’t know what Shen Feixiao knew. He only knew that the information that Shen Feixiao obtained from Tang Shayun was deadly, and it was extremely likely that as a result he himself had been consigned to eternal damnation. 

But it was not this problem that attracted Qin Kaiyi’s full attention at this time.

What he was wondering now was–what exactly was Shen Feixiao’s intent in giving him the Feng Shen Gu? 

“No way…” As Qin Kaiyi gradually became more and more panicked, cold sweat began to cover his forehead. He took a deep breath and climbed up from the bed.

The injury he obtained from being forced yesterday had not healed yet. Qin Kaiyi felt that his waist seemed to be broken. He sucked in breaths while holding his waist, staggering to stand up.

Feng Shen Gu… When Yan Gu told him of its effects, a strange idea arose in Qin Kaiyi’s mind–of course, this idea was closely related to his completion of the system’s tasks.

Shen Feixiao’s life and his life were linked together. Then that meant that if Shen Feixiao met with some accident and died, logically speaking, he would have caused Qin Kaiyi to die… the existence of the Feng Shen Gu certainly opened up a new path for Qin Kaiyi, who had lost hope for returning.

But this path chilled Qin Kaiyi’s heart.

Why did Shen Feixiao suddenly give him the Feng Shen? Thinking of all that had happened when the Feng Shen entered his body, Qin Kaiyi couldn’t help but whisper a few curses. When Shen Feixiao did those things to him again, his existence to Qin Kaiyi became one more terrifying than the devil, such that Qin Kaiyi could not suppress his trembling when he saw Shen Feixiao.

However, when Qin Kaiyi seriously thought about Shen Feixiao’s purpose in doing all this, he was even more terrified.

He found that… the Feng Shen Gu that Shen Feixiao put in actually returned the power to choose to Qin Kaiyi.

It was no longer an unattainable matter for him to go back. As long as he… killed Shen Feixiao… he could… go back?

Yes, as long as you kill Shen Feixiao, you can return to the previous world.

There seemed to be a voice in his mind confusing Qin Kaiyi: Your life is connected to his, if you kill him, you will die… And, that means you were killed by him, won’t you complete the task this way… right? Qin Kaiyi…

“Impossible, impossible…” Qin Kaiyi felt he was dying from the pain in his head He loudly refuted that voice that had inexplicably emerged: “This way doesn’t make sense, there must be other ways!!”

There won’t be. The voice continued its temptation: there won’t be any other ways, Shen Feixiao is so dependent on you, how could he kill you? He has nothing to lose, he will definitely never kill you… 

“I also can’t kill him ah.” Qin Kaiyi smiled but looked like he was crying: “I… I… how can I kill him?”

Why can’t you kill him? He set that Gu on you, serves him right!! Moreover, he forced himself on you, why should your heart be soft?? Qin Kaiyi, you coward, hurry and kill him. Kill him and you can go home; didn’t you work hard for so long all to go back? 

Qin Kaiyi stopped talking. He looked at the floor indifferently, as if he couldn’t find any rebuttal.

Just as that strange voice was about to continue, a person walked in through the bedroom door and interrupted Qin Kaiyi’s wild imagination. 

“Shen Feixiao.” Seeing who had entered, Qin Kaiyi couldn’t describe what he felt. He looked at Shen Feixiao and smiled bitterly, “What’s the matter?”

“I just came to look at shixiong.” Shen Feixiao pulled the chair away and sat next to Qin Kaiyi: “Shixiong’s expression doesn’t look good, is he still uncomfortable somewhere?”

“…” Don’t mention not looking good, as soon as Shen Feixiao spoke Qin Kaiyi felt like his whole body, including the gaps between his bones, began to hurt. 

“Shixiong.” Shen Feixiao looked at Qin Kaiyi’s uncomfortable appearance and smiled: “If uncomfortable, why don’t you go and lay down on the bed?”

“En.” Qin Kaiyi responded vaguely. Instead of lying down accordingly, he sat at the side of the bed, silently opposing Shen Feixiao.

“Shixiong, do you dislike me very much?” The atmosphere in front of him was so awkward. Shen Feixiao spoke a few frank words, and these few words terrified Qin Kaiyi to no small degree. 

“You… why do you say that?” Not knowing if it was because of guilt forming from his recent thoughts, Qin Kaiyi felt cold sweat falling drop by drop from his forehead down his cheeks. Looking at Shen Feixiao now, he felt that the other was terrifying. 

“I know shixiong’s answer.” Shen Feixiao saw Qin Kaiyi looking as if he had seen a ghost, and smiled self-deprecatingly: “But I don’t care… Shixiong, from childhood to adulthood, I have never had the opportunity to have the things I want. So once I have it, I definitely will never let go.” 

“En, en,” Qin Kaiyi responded vaguely. He really wasn’t in the mood to speak with Shen Feixiao about these matters. 

“…” Shen Feixiao saw that Qin Kaiyi was preoccupied, and a look of clear understanding flashed through his gaze. 

“Since shixiong is still uncomfortable, I’ll go first.” Shen Feixiao knew that he couldn’t push Qin Kaiyi too far. He got up and approached Qin Kaiyi, and then caressed his somewhat thin and still trembling shoulders. He lightly said: “I’ll come to see shixiong tomorrow.”

“Okay.” This was exactly what Qin Kaiyi wanted; he was currently in a state of chaos. 

Shen Feixiao didn’t linger. After finishing speaking he turned and left, as if he really didn’t care about Qin Kaiyi’s strange reaction.

But when Shen Feixiao took his first step out of the room, with one foot still inside, Qin Kaiyi couldn’t bear it–he held his head and curled up. 

“Stop talking you, you stop talking…” There was a sobbing tone in his voice. Qin Kaiyi seemed as if he had been pushed to desperate straits, trapped in a besieged city. He softly shouted: “I can’t kill Shen Feixiao… I can’t kill Shen Feixiao… I can’t… kill Shen Feixiao. “

Why not? He won’t hurt you… you just trick him, and then pierce his heart while he is not paying attention… Qin Kaiyi, you have already killed someone, are you still afraid of one more?

“I can’t kill him.” Qin Kaiyi’s voice became weaker and weaker. He bit his lip and guarded his last line of defense: “I can’t kill him… except for this method… anything else is fine… anything is fine… “

There is no other way, you can only do this, didn’t you always want to go back? Think about your family, think about your friends… You have already come to this point, do you want to lose everything for the sake of this minor detail? Hurry and kill him… hurry…

“Fuck, who the fuck is going to kill him, you go yourself, don’t talk in my head, shut up, shut up… shut up!!!” Qin Kaiyi screamed painfully, and then instantly lost consciousness.

Shortly after he fainted, the closed wooden door opened again. Shen Feixiao, who had originally already left, appeared again in Qin Kaiyi’s residence.

He held a blue scarf in his hand. After walking to the bed and gazing at Qin Kaiyi for a moment, he tied the scarf on Qin Kaiyi’s wrist.

“Shixiong.” Touching Qin Kaiyi’s sickly pale face with his hand, Shen Feixiao’s tone held an indescribable sorrow: “I won’t push you, so can you also not push me?”

——Let me kill you with my own hands? It would be better to cut out my heart directly and crush my soul. Such pain may be easier to bear.

“I don’t know what on earth home means…” He lowered his head and pressed gentle and cool kisses on Qin Kaiyi’s forehead, one after the other. Shen Feixiao tidied Qin Kaiyi’s messy clothes: “I only know that Shen Feixiao would go insane without Qin Shi.”

——I want to see the smiling face you had when you spoke to Liu Ling’er; it was so warm, as if you could forgive everything and help people weather all hurts. What did I ever owe you? If you hate me, then kill me; if you love me, then cherish me. But why do you play the part of the only warmth in my life, and also give me the bitter cold of despair… you can be so considerate towards a fire spirit, but why have you never been so for me?

Covering Qin Kaiyi with a thin blanket, Shen Feixiao stroked Qin Kaiyi’s lips with a smile hanging off the corners of his own: “If you heartlessly come to take my life… then come.”

——If you can’t harden your heart, then stay with me for life.