CH 82

Fortunately, Shen Feixiao was not deranged enough to directly behead Wei He in front of Qin Kaiyi. 

He pushed the door in and entered with a cold indifference in his expression that could chill hearts. When he saw Qin Kaiyi in Wei He’s arms, his icy expression even more so unsettled the heart and made one’s guts shake. 

“Put him down; you can go,” Shen Feixiao said expressionlessly. His gaze never moved away from Qin Kaiyi’s body.

“…” Wei He looked at Shen Feixiao silently. He knew that there was no way to take Qin Kaiyi away today, so he could only sigh and put Qin Kaiyi back on the bed…

“Leave ba, are you still sitting there waiting for me to invite you to a meal?” Shen Feixiao’s tone was full of frigid irony and scorching satire. He took a few steps forward and pulled Qin Kaiyi, who was unconscious, into his embrace. He gazed at Wei He with ill intent. 

“…Okay, okay.” Wei He waved his hands helplessly. He knew that Shen Feixiao probably wouldn’t do anything to him in front of Qin Kaiyi, but for some reason he still felt that there was something blocking his throat that he could not swallow. 

“I’m leaving.” He and Shen Feixiao stared at each other for a while, until Wei He finally gave up. He knew that he was not Shen Feixiao’s opponent; if he rashly attacked perhaps he would be killed on the spot. 

However, when Wei He was about to turn around and leave, Qin Kaiyi suddenly woke up.

Qin Kaiyi woke up and found himself wrapped in Shen Feixiao’s arms while Wei He had already turned around, clearly intending to leave.

“Wei He…” Qin Kaiyi’s voice was a bit weak, and his body lightly trembled. His mind was still in a state of chaos: “Don’t go…”

Hearing Qin Kaiyi’s voice, Wei He abruptly stopped moving. He turned his head to look at Qin Kaiyi, looking as if he desired to speak but was stopping himself. 

“Don’t go…” Completely befuddled, Qin Kaiyi looked at Wei He’s back as he was about to leave. Extreme panic arose in his heart, such that he even directly ignored the gloomy Shen Feixiao beside him and repeated: “Wei He, don’t go, okay…” 

“… Ai.” (T/N: a sigh, or expressing “alas”). Wei He’s expression became bitter. He didn’t want to leave, but what could he do? He couldn’t provoke the current Shen Feixiao, and if he continued to stay here… 

“Qin Shi, take care of yourself.” Helpless, Wei He had no choice but to stare at Shen Feixiao’s chilly, indifferent gaze and summon up the courage to say: “I… if there’s an opportunity in the future, I will come to see you.”

“…” Shen Feixiao expressed that he would definitely not give Wei He this opportunity. 

“Ah…” Hearing this, Qin Kaiyi looked to be at a loss. He opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but he swallowed his words when they reached the edge of his lips. 

“Then… I’m going first.” Wei He temporarily could only make this choice. 

“…He’s gone.” Shen Feixiao firmly hugged Qin Kaiyi, and there was nothing that could be inferred from his expression: “Shixiong wants to go with him?”

“No…” Qin Kaiyi saw that Wei He really left, and then said blankly: “I can’t go.”

“Oh?” Pinching Qin Kaiyi’s chin with his hand, Shen Feixiao said softly: “Why can’t shixiong go?”

“I can’t go home if I leave.” Qin Kaiyi curled into a ball in Shen Feixiao’s arms. His eyes were lifeless. “I still have to go home, isn’t that right?”

“…” Shen Feixiao smiled with cold detachment. He reached out and petted Qin Kaiyi’s head, and softly said in a low voice: “Shixiong, don’t think about going home in this life.”

“Why?!!!” Hearing some key words, Qin Kaiyi’s pupils contracted sharply. With strength from an unknown source, he managed to struggle out of Shen Feixiao’s embrace and grab his collar, mournfully asking: “Why can’t I go home, why!!”

Shen Feixiao didn’t speak. He glanced at the scarf on Qin Kaiyi’s wrist, and there was doubt in his eyes—what was going on with shixiong? The Rain-Soaked Bell had the effect of clearing the mind and calming qi, and Qin Kaiyi had a natural demonic body. According to reason… There shouldn’t be a need to worry about heart demons. But why did Qin Kaiyi give him such a strange feeling now? 

Well, from this point of view, mental health work was very important in both modern and ancient times…

It was a pity that after hearing Shen Feixiao say that he should not think to go home in this lifetime, Qin Kaiyi’s entire person fell into madness. If his cultivation hadn’t been sealed by Shen Feixiao, then they might really have a life-and-death struggle. (T/N: lit.: “you die, I live” fight. Fig.: fight between irreconcilable adversaries). 

“Shixiong.” Easily stopping Qin Kaiyi’s frantic movements, Shen Feixiao did not waver at all: “Apart from leaving me, do you have no other wishes?”

“…Shen Feixiao.” Qin Kaiyi had no strength originally, and after raising a fuss he became even more exhausted. Fortunately, his state of mind regained a trace of clarity. Hovering between laughter and tears, he looked at the man who hugged himself tightly, almost begging: “What on earth do you like about me, I’ll change it okay?”

Shen Feixiao remained unmoved. He smiled and then said, “Then how would shixiong change his entire being?”

Qin Kaiyi’s entire person collapsed again. 

“Shixiong.” Shen Feixiao saw that Qin Kaiyi was no longer fussing, so he gently combed his long white hair with his hands. In his words, there wasn’t a bit of that ruthless and tyrannical indifference when he had when he faced off with Wei He. Instead, he spoke with a gentleness that could drown a man: “I know that for you, this world is nothing… but if you believe it that’s fine, if you don’t believe it then there’s nothing to do about that. I am a person of flesh and blood, not that fictional novel in your heart.” 

“…” Hearing this straightforward statement, Qin Kaiyi’s face instantly turned white. He knew that Shen Feixiao must have known something, but he did not expect that Shen Feixiao actually grasped the majority of his circumstances from Tang Shayun. 

“I also gave shixiong an opportunity,” Shen Feixiao said very seriously. “In fact, doesn’t shixiong also know? If you really want to go back… you only have to…”

“I won’t kill you.” Qin Kaiyi’s voice was hoarse. “I won’t kill you!!!”

“Is that so?” Shen Feixiao smiled: “I was originally going to say… as long as shixiong is willing, I can…” Put the dagger in your hand.

It was a pity that his next words were roughly interrupted by Qin Kaiyi. He raised his head and fiercely glared at Shen Feixiao, almost itching to stab two holes in him: “What the hell do I owe you? Shen Feixiao, say it and let’s see, aside from beating you up once, what do I owe you..” 

“…” Shen Feixiao didn’t say anything, but his expression became slightly complicated. 

“Say it, where the fuck do I owe you.” Qin Kaiyi smiled bitterly: “I only beg you for one thing, can you kill me? I will only beg you for one thing…”

“Shixiong.” Shen Feixiao looked perplexed: “If I kill you, you can go home?”

“…” Qin Kaiyi didn’t speak, but his facial expression gave Shen Feixiao his answer. 

“Then have you thought about me?” Shen Feixiao looked at Qin Kaiyi, who seemed to be somewhat guilty but didn’t know what to say. “Have you ever thought of how I would live in this world after having killed you?”

“…” Qin Kaiyi froze for a while.

“What will happen to me when I kill my beloved person?” Shen Feixiao’s breathing gradually became heavier, and he looked at Qin Kaiyi with grief: “Have you never thought on my behalf?” 

“But… I just want to go home,” Qin Kaiyi choked with emotion. He was wrong, he was wrong from the beginning–fuck the masked man, Shen Feixiao never needed the pity of others. If he obediently followed the plot from the beginning, he would not be reduced to the state he was in today! 

“So you can go back.” Shen Feixiao didn’t know what he himself was talking about. He loved Qin Kaiyi dearly (T/N: 心疼, lit.: his heart hurt for him; fig.: can mean to love dearly, or feel sorry/distressed for), but he also hated his heartlessness. “As long as you kill me, you can go back, isn’t that just right?”

“…” Qin Kaiyi felt his head spin, but still stutteringly refused: “No… don’t want… I can’t kill you.”

“Is it that your conscience won’t be at peace if you kill me?” Shen Feixiao clearly knew Qin Kaiyi’s thoughts, and he gave a cold and thin smile: “Shixiong, you are really cold-blooded. When you wanted me to kill you, you were so firm. Why is it that now that the choice is in your hands, you are hesitating? What are you hesitating for?” 

“… You leave ba.” Qin Kaiyi couldn’t do anything, he only wanted to retreat into his tortoise shell. He knew that he was in the wrong, and he no longer counted on Shen Feixiao to let him go. 

“…” Shen Feixiao watched Qin Kaiyi wrap himself in the bedding, and his expression dimmed. Sometimes, the more he hoped… the more he would be… disappointed.

“Then I will go first.” Shen Feixiao was silent for a while, then finally compromised. He very much wanted to hold Qin Kaiyi in his arms and forcefully pull Qin Kaiyi out of his own world, but seeing that haggard appearance, he hesitated again. 

“I’ll give shixiong another month,” Shen Feixiao whispered. He then stood up and left, leaving Qin Kaiyi alone bundled in his sheets, gritting his teeth and emitting rustling trembles–Wei He already left, and there wouldn’t be another to save him. He could only forever stay here… forever… 

——Kill Shen Feixiao and you can go, kill him… and you can go.

The mysterious voice sounded again in Qin Kaiyi’s mind. This time, Qin Kaiyi didn’t resolutely refute, but let the voice reverberate in his mind. 

“Master.” As soon as Shen Feixiao walked out of the room, he heard the eggplant’s voice. He turned to look at the eggplant and said, “What’s the matter?”

“You gave the Rain-Soaked Bell to Qin gongzi, does it really not matter?” The eggplant and Shen Feixiao had formed a contract, and it naturally understood Shen Feixiao’s physical condition: “You…” (T/N: he uses a respectful, formal “you”). 

“My affairs don’t need your consideration.” Shen Feixiao said indifferently: “Have you been very idle recently?”

“Hehe… how can that be.” The eggplant immediately awkwardly smiled. He knew that Shen Feixiao was not in a good mood, and he didn’t dare to provoke him.

“Since you’re not unoccupied, go do what you should do.” Shen Feixiao rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Don’t let me hear you say things you shouldn’t again.” 

“Yes.” The eggplant looked a bit wronged, but he did not dare to say anything.

However, after Shen Feixiao left, the eggplant showed a crafty expression. Although legend had it that there was no way to remove the Feng Shen, no one had considered… that no matter how powerful the Feng Shen was, wasn’t it just a female Gu? (T/N: 蛊 = gu = legendary poisonous insect).