Chapter 77 - Xun Zichen

"Xun Zichen. That's my name," he said.

Su Xiang's eyes widened further; her lips parted from each other. "Xun Zichen?" She repeated.

He nodded, and Su Xiang stared at him, stunned and wild.

"How come you haven't told me before?" Su Xiang asked, expressing the shock on her face. She didn't know he knew his real name this entire time.

Xun Zichen's lips thinned into a tight line. "It's something I remember vividly — that name. But I don't remember anything else," he admitted.

"But if you know your name, then you must know who your real family is?" she questioned.

Xun Zichen nodded, his face long and wary.

Su Xiang bit her lip. She could sense that he did not want to talk about it. But just who were they to make him appear so shaken?

"You can tell me when you're ready," she said.

Xun Zichen sighed. "I have yet to learn more about them myself. It's complicated."

Su Xiang nodded with understanding. What puzzled her was that Cloak looked for him and found him, but disappeared when she transferred him the money. But if Xun Zichen already knew who he was. Did he also sense the danger he had his entire life?

"Do you think you're in danger?" Su Xiang at him.

At that, his pear-green eyes darkened, locking with hers. Su Xiang felt like she had gone sucked into them. She glanced away, slightly embarrassed.

"Why do you think that?" he asked her.

Su Xiang sighed. "There was a man who told me he was looking for you. He said he knew about your past and that others want to find you."

Xun Zichen furrowed his brows. "When was this?"

Su Xiang looked at him. "At the annual work party," she answered.

Xun Zichen ran a hand down his face. "Was it that man who danced with you? You should have told me he confronted you."

"He threatened you through me. I wanted to get rid of him. He only wanted money."

Xun Zichen rubbed his temples. "Xi. People like him wouldn't just let this go with money. Some people resolve things through blood."

Su Xiang's heart began to pound. She thought she had solved some problems. But what if she confirmed something that someone wasn't sure of?

After all, her parents worked hard to bury his past identity.

Su Xiang faced him defiantly. "Do you think you're in danger?" she asked again.

Xun Zichen almost didn't answer. "Yes," he answered gravely.

Su Xiang whirled her head to face him with widened eyes. She then rose from the couch, scanning his kitchen cabinets.

Xun Zichen raised a brow, wondering what she was doing.

She grabbed a bottle of Cognac imported from France. She poured a small amount, downed it, and winced at the taste.

"I thought you don't drink," he said.

Su Xiang poured another and drank it. "I don't," she replied. Xun Zichen stood up, stepping towards her. She was about to down another glass when he lowered her hand gently, putting the glass down.

Su Xiang hiccuped, pressing her lips together.

"It doesn't matter if I'm in danger. I will live my life, and the only thing I care about is to keep everyone I love safe," he admitted earnestly.

In the next instant, Su Xiang approached him swiftly, embracing him, squeezing tight. Xun Zichen froze for a moment before wrapping his arms around her. She began to sob on his chest, wetting his dress shirt.

"Why are you crying?" he asked her.

Su Xiang didn't say anything. She was afraid.

Su Xiang was afraid to lose him in many ways she couldn't explain, and it hurt because of how helpless she felt, how unprepared she was.

Xun Zichen glanced down at her, wiping her tears from her face. She felt him brush her cheeks softly with his fingers. She looked up at him, into his smouldering eyes. She hiccuped. "Why are you in danger?" she questioned, begging for an answer.

Xun Zichen looked at her dishearted. He didn't want her to be sad or anxious about anything, least of all him. "My family aren't good people. I think that is the reason Song Ren and Su Feng took me in," he admitted. "But it's not something to worry. I want you to focus on you. We need to prove that you're innocent against those accusations. It's our main priority."

Su Xiang nodded with tear-stained cheeks. Her face reddened from the well-needed cry. Her nose felt stuffy, so Xun Zichen took out his sleeve and wiped her face.

"You ruined your shirt," Su Xiang whimpered.

Xun Zichen let out a small laugh. "I could wash it or buy a new one," he said.

Su Xiang puffed her cheeks warmly.

"Go to sleep," Xun Zichen told her.

Su Xiang collected herself. She began walking towards his bedroom when she paused to turn. "You're not coming?" she asked.

Xun Zichen shook his head. "No. Don't worry. I find that the couch is comfortable."

Last time, Su Xiang questioned why he didn't want to sleep next to her and insisted that he did because it wouldn't be strange. But her feelings have flourished since then and are thrown in a mix of not knowing what she wants to wanting him badly.

Su Xiang then went to bed straight away; her thoughts swam in her head. The sheets and pillows smelled like him.

She couldn't sleep. Frustrated, she wiggled out of bed and went to the kitchen for a snack. She opened the fridge, taking out a plum. She devoured it quickly and walked back to the room. On her way, she paused, noticing that Xun Zichen didn't have a blanket. She promptly went back into the bedroom, finding a spare blanket.

Why didn't he come in earlier to get one?

She went to the couch, covering him with a blanket. His black hair spilled over his eyes appealingly; the air conditioning caressed his locks.

She tucked the blanket around him, ensuring each part of his body was covered.

Xun Zichen opened his eyes, and in his dazed-dreamy state, he pulled her onto the couch with him. Her eyes gaped at him. "Zichen," she called him.

He held her gently for a while. She figured that he was very much awake himself.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

There was no answer. Silence welled between them, except for the short and sharp breaths they exchanged.

"I know you're afraid, too," she told him, "but we need to release how we feel — our anxieties and worries. Whatever's on your mind, tell me," she pleaded.

"The wedding rehearsal is soon. I need you to—" he wanted to explain about what he truly thinks of Yu Haoraon, but Su Xiang stood up, placing her fingers in her ears.

"I don't want to hear about any more plans with her."

"Eh?" Xun Zichen replied. "But I—"

"Can we talk about this another day?" she spat.

Instead of explaining what he was going to say first, he asked her, "Why don't you want me to marry her?"

Su Xiang felt flustered. "Do you love her?" she dodged the question and asked.

"No," he answered.

"As expected. That's why you shouldn't marry her," Su Xiang replied.

"Is there anything else?" he asked.

Su Xiang was breathing hard. Her eyes held a challenging gaze. "You are going to marry someone you don't love, and I pity you both," she snapped.

"Does it seem like I have much of a choice?" Xun Zichen responded.

"You can break off the engagement. You can be patient. You can find a woman you love," she responded.

Xun Zichen gritted his teeth. "There's no point when I can't have the person I want," he said with an indignant tone.

Su Xiang's eyes widened. She was breathing hard, and she could see the hurt, the pain and suffering in his eyes, and yet the desire. "Why can't you have that person?" she questioned, "Have you even confessed?"

"No," he said.

"Then how would you know?"

Xun Zichen gritted his teeth, clenching his fingers into white fists. He leaned forward, pulling her towards him, taking any more words and questions she had to say away with a breathtaking kiss.

Su Xiang froze.

It took Su Xiang a moment to get out of her dazed state. She closed her eyes, kissing him back, which stunned Xun Zichen. His eyes widened as she pressed her lips deeper into his.

He kissed her, hoping for rejection, hoping that she'll hate him for feeling the way he did. Another part of him hoped that she felt the same way he did, afraid and scared, but yearning. He didn't expect her to be kissing him. He peered her mouth open, testing her, clashing his tongue with hers. She replied with a moan that sent him on fire. He broke the kiss, holding her face, meeting her eyes. There was no disgust, no worries, no pity in them.

She seemed to have read his questioning gaze, so she nodded. Her nod permitted him to continue. He picked her up, settled her on the kitchen countertop. He kissed her again, fervently, desperately, sloppily. Su Xiang began to loosen the buttons of his dress shirt, pressing a hand against his firm skin, feverishly hot beneath her fingertips. He returned by bringing her shirt over her head. Half naked, they both stared at each other, taking in the image.

He began to kiss her neck and collarbones, tilting her head back for access. He marked her body and then she stopped abruptly. They both looked at each other, eyes blazing. Su Xiang was confused.

"We just—" she began.

"Kissed?" Xun Zichen finished for her.

She nodded shortly, "yeah."

Xun Zichen stepped away from her, giving her space. They both had to register what happened, not believing what they just did.

Su Xiang jumped from the kitchen counter and darted towards the bedroom. Xun Zichen collected his breath, slumping onto the couch.