CH 28

“Thanks for waiting.”

I dressed up a little and called out to Kaede. Kaede was stunned, with her mouth open.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just that usual atmosphere…”

“Ah, I see.”

My bangs were waxed up a bit, and my clothes were usually jerseys or something like that, but even I paid some attention to my appearance at least when I go out.

“My mom is quite picky about my appearance and stuff, I didn’t want her to tell me every time, so I took care of it, and here’s the result. Is it weird?”

“No! It’s not weird, okay?…. rather you look cool.”

“!?… don’t flatter me.”

“I’m not flattering you!”

“Yes, yes, let’s go.”

When I poured water over her compliments, she said, “Mou~!” and puffed out her cheeks.

I was happy because it had been a long time since I had received an honest compliment.

“Fufu, I feel like it’s the first time we’ve gone out together since that day.” Kaede said,

“Ah, when we bought some underwear?”

“…Please say clothes. ….”

I told her we bought some clothes, but we also bought underwear. She said,”That’s right, but it’s embarrassing!” and poked me on the shoulder.

Well, it was true that I would be uncomfortable if Kaede told me she bought my underwear, too.

I apologized and went out the door.

“I’m looking forward to the illumination.”

“Ah, yeah.”

“You don’t seem very interested.”

“Don’t get angry…”

“I’m not mad at you, I’m just happy you’re going with me.”

Saying that, I looked at Kaede smiling next to me and wondered if my life would have been different if I had met Kaede before I met my ex-girlfriend, if I would have liked women a little more.

If I were to fall in love, who would it be?

“Ah! Look Look! It’s a snowman!”

Kaede innocently pointed her finger at the snowman in the park.

“Oh, yeah, did a couple make it?”

“…a couple…”

“Isn’t that right? There are two of them. One is beautifully made, and the other is just a big snowman.”

It wasn’t surprising that couples were making them.

“Christmas, I see it’s that time of year already.”

“Yes, a lot has happened since I met you, Hayasaka-kun.”

“Yes, it really has.”

“I really can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s okay. …I didn’t do it because I wanted to be appreciated.”

When I said this, she put her hand over her mouth and giggled as if smiling, and my eyes were glued to her.

“Fufu, you really are kind.”

“I’m not…kind”

“You’re kind, you know? Even if you don’t understand that, it’s fine if I do, right?”

“….”

I only nodded.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

As we walked along, I gradually saw more and more people. It was Christmas, after all, and there were many people.

Illuminations could be seen here and there. Kaede was standing next to me looking at them with sparkling eyes.

“Look at this! It’s amazing!”

“Ah, but there’s something even more amazing on the way soon.”

“Really? I can’t wait to see it.”

She couldn’t stop being excited.

“Almost there, huh?

“So we’re almost there to see the amazing illumination you’re talking about, right, Hayasaka-kun?

“Well, I’ve seen it before, so it’ll be great, but I don’t think I’ll be as impressed the second time around.”

“Don’t worry! You will be impressed again this year!”

She said to me with sparkling eyes, so I pulled back my face a little and said,” Y-yeah” but I wondered if I would really be impressed. 

The only reason I was impressed before was because my ex-girlfriend looking at the illumination was so beautiful at the time, and the illumination ….

When I was thinking about it, from next to me

“Look at that! It’s amazing!”

“Ah, yes yes, let’s see … now”

What I saw then was the beautiful illumination that filled the area. I was surprised at first by the sheer number of lights and then by their beauty.

I didn’t see anything like this … when I was here before….

At that moment, next to me, I saw Kaede with her eyes watering. I was wondering if she was so moved that she was about to cry. Indeed, this beauty was moving me too.

“Is everything alright?”

“Ah. Yes, I’m fine. …”

As I worried about Kaede, something cold and white fell from above.

It was snow, snow was falling. It was so beautiful, the light of the illumination combined with the beauty of nature.

I then stepped back a little and watched the illumination with Kaede from the back.

Then Kaede spun around and smiled at me.

“Did you like it? Were you impressed?”

“Ah, very… much more than the last time I saw it…”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

When Kaede heard this, she turned her big smile toward me. At that moment, the illumination seemed to shine brighter than ever. In fact, it wasn’t, but Kaede’s smile was so dazzling that it seemed to glow even more so.

At that moment, I could definitely feel his heart pounding in my chest. My heart was beating faster and faster.

My hands and fingers were cold, but the heat was concentrated on my face. I, myself, knew.

I know that I already am in love with Kaede…but I have been lying to myself until now.

I didn’t want to be like that, I should have never had a girlfriend.

But I have been hiding the fact that somewhere deep down I thought that this time I might have met someone I really wanted to make happy.

“It’s beautiful. …”

“It is, isn’t it? The illuminations…”

“You are, Kaede”

I said as if to interrupt Kaede’s words, Kaede hid her face with a scarf.

(Ah … I haven’t gotten back at her yet for Christmas Eve.)

Suddenly remembering this, I went next to Kaede. And held her cold, reddish hand.

“Hiyaa!?”

“Wha-Wha-What are you doing!?”

“What? Payback for Eve.”

This time I was close enough to see her face through the scarf. Her cheeks were bright red, like apples.

“Shall we head home now?”

She nodded her head, so I held her hand and we started our way home together.

The aversion I had felt toward women disappeared a little at this point.

Not all of it, but I hope to be able to move forward like this, little by little.