CH 67

The God son guided Qin Ruwang’s hands to circle his fragile neck. The skin beneath his fingertips felt soft and warm. When the God son urged him to tighten his grip he froze, then threw off the boy’s hands as if he’d been burnt.

“It seems that you’ve gone soft.” 

The God son sat in front of him, his beautiful eyes slightly curved. His smile was as gentle as water, but there was a cold indifference in his expression.

In Qin Ruwang’s eyes, it seemed like he had a heart of jade. It was crystal clear and precious, but hard as ice. There was not a single crack of space for anyone inside his heart, leaving him indifferent to everything, even his own life.

“You shouldn’t have.” The God son shook his head and sighed softly, “You are the Emperor of Xia and will one day dominate the world. If you wish to stand on top of the world, you will have to climb past a mountain of corpses and sea of blood. The road to victory doesn’t allow for unnecessary kindness.”

He took Qin Ruwang’s hand again and patted the back of it with a smile. 

“I’m already dying, it begins with me. Remove the obstacles in front of you one by one. Kill me with your own hands and fulfil the wish you’ve desired for so many years. This is my gift to the new Emperor.”

The longer he spoke, the deeper Qin Ruwang’s heart sank. At the God son’s final words, he nearly lost his composure. He seized the God son’s hand, his icy gaze fixed on him as he said in a low voice, “I don’t want your gift.”

“Then what do you want?” Asked the God son, “I will die soon. Except for my own life, there is nothing I have to offer you.”

Qin Ruwang didn’t reply. He pinched the God son’s jaw, forcing him to raise his head and look him in the eyes as he said.

“You are not from Xia. Why do you care if I become the Emperor of Xia? What does this have to do with you? You must know that the day I become Emperor I will destroy the Wushen Kingdom, and the divine envoys-”

“That’s exactly what I hoped for.”

The God son smiled.

“God is already dead and the Wushen Kingdom is slowly descending into evil. Do you know how many lives are sacrificed in the Wushen Kingdom every year in order to choose the God son and Goddess daughter, how much torture we have to suffer?” 

“They call me a divine envoy, but I live like a ghost. Without the help of others, I can’t even leave this room!”

In a rare state of agitation, a morbid blush spread across his face, a trace of blood dripping from his lips as his expression flickered between a wild grin and pure despair.

“Only you can destroy the Wushen Kingdom. The body I’m cursed with will never live to see the day that happens, so let me be the first person from the Wushen Kingdom to die at your hands! Qin Ruwang kill me, come and kill me-”

“Enough!” 

The young Emperor’s face was icy cold as he picked the God son up from the chair and moved him to lie down on the bed. He forced him to take longevity medicine created by the Goddess daughter and watched as he slowly calmed down.

“If you are tired, then rest. Stop speaking such nonsense.” He said, “You will not die. If the Emperor doesn’t permit you to die, then you can not. I want you to see with your own eyes how the Wushen Kingdom is crushed by Xia. Before that, you will not die.”

The God son smiled faintly, but his face seemed weary. He was silent for a long time, his eyes half closed before he said in a voice as soft as a whisper from a dream.

“…Yes. You are the Emperor of Xia. Today is your ceremonial day. To worship the heavens, the earth and our ancestors, you must keep your body and mind clean, how could you bloody your hands?” 

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He had imagined countless times what kind of face the boy had underneath his mask. Today was the day he finally got to see his real appearance, and it affected him even more than he’d expected it to. 

In the past, he’d always believed he had no space for anyone in his heart except for his late mother. All he had left was hatred.

He hated his father, who he killed with his own hands. He hated the Wushen Kingdom and everything it stood for. He even hated the man in front of him.

But out of all the people in the world, he also loved him.

Perhaps it began a long time ago, from the very first night they met inside that garden. When the aloof God son stopped for him and reached out his hand, he couldn’t help but fall for him. 

Even if this person only wanted to use him without any sincerity, he didn’t care anymore.

Seeing that the God son seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep, Qin Ruwang quietly got up to leave when a soft voice came from behind him.

“You…what do you desire most in the world?”

He turned his head to see the God son lying on the bed, his eyes open as he looked dazedly up at him. Qin Ruwang felt a sudden ache in his heart and was unable to speak for a moment. 

“I’ll tell you when you get better.”

He left the palace and got onto the waiting carriage. Following the royal officials, he travelled up the mountain to give sacrifices. After completing the ceremony, he returned to the palace to visit the God son again, but was met with grievous news.

The God son was dead.

The sound of mourning cries could be heard through several of the surrounding palaces. Inside the carriage, Qin Ruwang felt like he’d been stabbed. His vision turned black as he staggered out of the carriage and hurried into the palace. The first thing he saw was an overwhelming red. 

The silver mask was spotted with blood, his once snow white robes soaked red. One of his slender wrists hung limply off the bed, and in the middle of his chest, a dagger was sunk deep inside the flesh.

Seeing this scene, Qin Ruwang lost all sense of reason. Thinking the God son had been murdered, he wanted to drag the entire palace to execution, but a palace servant cried and hugged his leg, handing him a letter written by the God son.

When he touched the letter, Qin Ruwang’s hands shook so hard that the piece of paper fell to the ground several times. Each time, the palace servants picked up the fallen letter and presented it to him again.

The letter’s handwriting was not as beautiful as he remembered, and slightly crooked. The person writing was so ill that he couldn’t even grip the pen properly, but still insisted on writing the letter. 

The God son wrote that he died by his own hand and his actions had nothing to do with anyone else, so Qin Ruwang shouldn’t take his anger out on them. Since Qin Ruwang didn’t wish to kill him, he would do it himself. He offered his life to Qin Ruwang.

In addition to that, he wrote.

‘Perhaps you don’t remember, but ten years ago you asked if I treated you well just because you were the future Emperor of Xia. I didn’t give you an answer back then, but now I can say that it wasn’t exactly because of that.”

‘I came to Xia as a child, but before I left, a priest told me that Xia would soon face a devil star. They would kill their brother, their father, and destroy their own humanity. Their existence would bring about a monstrous war and the Wushen Kingdom would face extinction.’ 

‘Because he was far away from Xia, he couldn’t divine any further. He ordered me to enter the palace, discover who the child was, and inform the Emperor of the matter as soon as possible to avoid these misfortunes.’

‘When I first met you, I knew you were the devil star the priest had seen. You would envelop Xia, destroy Wushen and one day cause my own death.’

‘Back then, I hadn’t yet wished for the destruction of Wushen and should have eliminated you, but you were a simple child who’d just lost their mother, alone within the palace. No matter what your future held, I couldn’t do it.’

‘For many years, I have told the priest that I couldn’t find the devil star, but now he has sent the next God son early so that he can try and divine their location.’ 

‘Your foundation is still shallow and you don’t yet have full control over the central government. Don’t let the new God son suspect you are the devil star and don’t let him leak any kinds of rumours to the Wushen Kingdom.’

‘I wish you great success.’

“…”

Tears soaked Qin Ruwang’s cheeks and dripped onto the paper, smearing the ink and leaving black smudges across the handwriting. 

He was silent for a long time, then suddenly laughed out loud, muttering to himself over and over.

“Devil star…”

“Devil star…”

As if he’d lost all the strength in his body, he leant against the bed in a daze, staring at the bloodstained mask for a long time. 

As if possessed, he removed the God son’s mask and held it to his chest, letting the blood soak into his heart.

If he is to be a calamity of this world, then so be it.

Then that person was his own calamity, the demon star that descended into his heart.

Caught between hate and love. 

Even with his death, it seemed that he’d taken Qin Ruwang’s life with him.

Decades later, Xia ruled over all countries. The Empire was prosperous, the rivers and seas beneath heaven were clear and peaceful. Qin Ruwang was praised as the most powerful Emperor that Xia had ever known.

The only regret was that no one stood by his side and he had no heir. He had instead adopted members of the royal family and cultivated them to be his heirs. When he grew sick, he abdicated and allowed the crown prince to take the throne, moving himself to the palace where the God son once lived.

After the God son died, the palace was closed, and no one was permitted to live there. Only the palace servants entered to clean it each day. In addition to handling government affairs, Qin Ruwang would enter the palace often to wipe the dust from the God son’s memorial tablet. 

After being uninhabited for so many years, the palace had grown bleak and forbidding, as if it was the cold palace. The new Emperor couldn’t bear to see Qin Ruwang live there and begged him to move into a newly renovated palace, but Qin Ruwang refused.

He lived inside a small side room of the bedroom where the God son lived. The furnishings remained the same as before, although they weren’t simple, they were completely inappropriate for his current honourable status. However, he still refused to leave and banned the servants from moving anything inside the room.

One night, the weather was unusually cold. Although the palace servants had installed multiple stoves inside the palace, Qin Ruwang still felt the chill sink deeply into his body. His mind felt blurry and he didn’t even have the strength to open his eyes.

Half dreaming, he seemed to hear many people moving around him. He listened to the anger of the new Emperor, who scolded the imperial physicians, saying if they couldn’t save the Emperor, they would be buried with him. 

Qin Ruwang wanted to laugh. Although the child was not his own, they had a very good relationship. He’d given the child all of his imperial knowledge without reservation, but in the end, he was still young and couldn’t remain calm when things went wrong.

He wanted to say a few more words to the new Emperor, but couldn’t manage to open his eyes. He was about to try talking one last time, when all the noises surrounding him disappeared and he seemed to hear the gentle voice of the God son speaking to him.

“What else do you desire?”

Qin Ruwang suddenly remembered the last day he spoke with the God son, all those years ago. The God son asked him what he desired most in the world. He hadn’t given him an answer at the time, and it was too late to say it now. 

“It doesn’t matter, just say it.”

The familiar voice still spoke to him, so similar to how he sounded many years ago. Qin Ruwang couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes. He opened his mouth and tried his best to speak his wish, but his voice was so choked, he wasn’t sure if he had spoken clearly enough for the voice to hear him.

“My greatest desires in this life can never come true.”

“If only I could live another life, one where my mother never died early and the God son could be healthy. After I inherit the throne and unify the continents, I wish he could travel with me…to see the world.” 

He poured the remainder of his life force into speaking the last few words, then collapsed, his soul returning to the dark.

All of this had nothing to do with him anymore. When he finally lost consciousness, he knew he was dead. But the next moment, he felt a strength fill his body. When he opened his eyes, he saw a person standing in front of him. A woman.

“Ruwang, are you alright?

The young woman looked worried and caressed his face, leaving him dazed. 

This was his mother.

The author has something to say: Realising Qin Ruwang’s wishes will reignite his desire to live again…!

Ningning truly has a talent in writing the most dogblood drama plots – why has my family’s white lotus been replaced with a green tea bitch!!