CH 80

Zhou Rin reached out and picked Zhou Cun’s phone off the coffee table. He turned the screen off, then flicked it back on again, repeating this action several times.

The screensaver picture didn’t change, still displaying the water colour painting of the epiphyllum flower. It wasn’t a randomly generated screen lock picture, but an image specially selected by Zhou Cun. 

He didn’t say a word and returned the phone to the table as the teen came back with the glass of water. Zhou Cun handed him the glass and said, “If I did it wrong, get your own next time.”

“Thank you.” Zhou Rin took the glass. He took a few sips, then asked casually, “I saw your lockscreen just now. The flower was pretty, what’s it called?”

The teen looked startled for a second, then shook his head and smiled, “I don’t know, I just thought it looked nice and set it up. Don’t you know the species?”

“No, I don’t.” 

Zhou Rin retracted his gaze and shook his head. He finished the water in the glass, put it down on the table, and went upstairs to his bedroom.

Although the room was dark, he didn’t turn on the light. He leaned against the wall, pulled out his phone, and opened the chat history between him and Ji Ning.

Because they’d spent the last few days together, his last message was from when he’d just gone to find Ji Ning. He’d been waiting for Ji Ning to come out of the broken down building.

The light from the screen reflected in his eyes, illuminating his solemn expression. His fingers twitched on the screen. After a while, he typed out a sentence.

「I’m home.」

Before long, Ji Ning responded「Okay 」He put a smiley face at the end of his message.

“…”

Zhou Rin’s face didn’t carry any sort of smile as he closed the message chat, an indescribable feeling in his heart. 

Ji Ning’s last words to him before he left made him ecstatic, but after seeing the watercolour epiphyllum flower, his joy disappeared in an instant. Now, he didn’t even know what to say.

「Sleep well.」

In the end, he only sent these words. The urgency and excitement that raged through his heart like a burning fire had cooled, leaving only heavy ashes behind. He fell on his bed, exhausted, and threw his phone aside, raising a hand to cover his eyes.

Ji Ning liked him. 

This was something that seemed only possible in his dreams, but now it had happened.

When he’d heard Ji Ning say that he didn’t want them to just be friends, his heart was filled with incredible joy. At that moment, he’d thought that everything had changed. It was different from before. This time, he’d met Ji Ning first and Ji Ning had chosen to fall in love with him.

But when he’d seen the epiphyllum, it touched the taboo buried in the deepest parts of his heart, reminding him of the facts he’d so desperately ignored…

This was not his destiny. 

The person who was supposed to be with Ji Ning was his brother.

From the first time he met Ji Ning, he’d flaunted his crush on the Omega in front of his brother, to prevent the teenager from falling in love with Ji Ning as well.

If his brother didn’t like Ji Ning, he could still convince himself that since he’d met Ji Ning first this time, fate was giving him a chance to start over. Since he’d been given this opportunity, he should seize this chance and not hand Ji Ning over to anyone.

But now he’d discovered his brother might have fallen in love with Ji Ning again. 

Everything was gradually overlapping with the past, how ironic.

Before now, he hadn’t noticed any signs that his brother liked Ji Ning at all. Maybe his brother was covering it up too well, or maybe he only desired Ji Ning’s body, but since Zhou Rin had already revealed that he liked Ji Ning, he knew his brother would never express his feelings.

But the feelings Ji Ning had towards him was just something he’d stolen from his brother.

He shouldn’t belong to him. 

When it was time for dinner, Zhou Rin came downstairs and sat at the table with the teenager. Once again he happened to see the boy’s lockscreen as it lit up with a message, but this time he found Zhou Cun had replaced the epiphyllum painting with another picture.

Lf’v yffc mbwqifafis mjiw ktfc tf jrxfv jybea atf qlmaegf, klatbea rtbklcu jcs qjgalmeijg fwbalbc. Po tlr ygbatfg gfjiis vlvc’a xcbk la kjr fqlqtsiiew jcv vlvc’a tjnf jcs tlvvfc offilcur, tf kbeivc’a tjnf lwwfvljafis mtjcufv atf ibmxrmgffc.

Pa mbeivc’a tjnf yffc wbgf bynlber.

Itbe Elc rja delfais ja atf vlclcu ajyif klat tlr fsfr vbkcmjra. Ktf kjgw iluta bo atf gbbw vlvc’a wjamt atf qjif, vlrbglfcajafv fzqgfrrlbc bc tlr ojmf. 

After that night, Zhou Rin didn’t contact Ji Ning again. When it came for the weekly tutoring session on Sunday, he left early in the morning, choosing to go to the company instead.

He’d been away from the company for several days. Although he had the help of his parents and sister, he had a lot of work to catch up on. But even if he had a lot of things to deal with, it didn’t mean there wasn’t time for him to see Ji Ning. He’d just used the company as an excuse to hide away from the Omega.

He couldn’t face him.

The same situation continued for the next two weeks. He specifically asked his secretary to arrange a business trip for him. He listened to work reports in various company branches for half a month, forcing himself to keep busy, so that he had no time to be distracted by other things. 

Over those few weeks, he had occasional contact with Ji Ning. Ji Ning didn’t mention anything about the tutoring sessions, just asked about his physical condition, checking that he was taking enough rest. He told him not to work too hard, and recommended a new mystery novel for him to read in his free time.

Zhou Rin ordered the book online. After getting it, he would read a few pages whenever he had the time, but found that he could barely read a few words before his thoughts drifted towards Ji Ning. In the end, he gave the book away.

Originally, he hadn’t been interested in mystery novels, he’d only read them to suit Ji Ning’s preferences.

It was his brother who actually had something in common with Ji Ning. 

After finishing up his work in the branch, Zhou Rin took an afternoon flight home. By the time he’d got back, it was already evening. His family had waited for him to come back for dinner, but he didn’t have any appetite. He only took a few bites before excusing himself to take a bath. When he came out of his bathroom, he heard someone knocking on his bedroom door.

“Brother, can I come in?”

Zhou Cun’s voice came from outside the door.

“…” Zhou Rin pushed his wet hair back from his face and responded in a low voice, “Come in.” 

Hearing his answer, the teenager walked into the room with a plate of fruit in his hand and said, “You didn’t eat very much so I brought you some fruit. Do you want them?”

“Thank you.”

Zhou Rin’s expression became more complicated. Although this time round, he was the older brother, the teenager still cared for him as much as before. In comparison, he’d never looked after Zhou Cun enough.

“Have you been doing alright?” He asked quickly, “What about mum and dad?” 

“We’re all fine, I told you when I called.”

The teenager smiled, but it faded a little as he said, “But teacher Ji seems to be a little…”

“What’s wrong with him?”

Zhou Rin stood up, anxiously. 

Could it be that something had happened to Ji Ning, why hadn’t he mentioned anything when they were chatting?

“Nothing’s happened to him and his family’s fine, but I still think he’s upset.” The boy said, “Every time he comes to tutor me and sees you’re not home, I can tell that he’s disappointed even though he doesn’t say anything. He asked me if you were really busy as you haven’t spoken to him much.”

The teenager looked at him calmly and said softly, “He asked me not to say anything to you, but I think it’s necessary to ask. Brother, are you avoiding teacher Ji?”

“…No, I’m not avoiding him.” 

After a beat of silence, Zhou Rin took the towel off his head and put it on the back of his chair, “I’m pretty tired, so I want to get to bed early. You should rest too.”

However, instead of leaving, the teenager asked him abruptly, “Did you already know?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Zhou Rin didn’t look at him.

“You knew it was epiphyllum, right?” 

Zhou Cun walked up to Zhou Rin and looked him in the eyes, “I knew it was epiphyllum and so did you, didn’t you?

“Zhou Cun.” Zhou Rin said his name heavily, “Stop talking.”

“I apologise. I’m sorry, I like him, but this is all my own problem. It’s my unrequited love, so don’t blame him. He hasn’t done anything wrong, it was just me.”

The usually calm teenager showed a rare agitation as he tried to clarify with Zhou Rin. 

“He doesn’t know about my feelings and I won’t tell him anything. I shouldn’t have used that painting, I’ve reflected on it and I won’t do things like that in the future. You can get mad at me, but don’t blame him, okay?”

“If you’re worried, then cancel the tutoring. I promise I won’t meet him privately and I’ll delete his contact information. I won’t ever let him know that I like him, but brother please, don’t do this to him…”

Having said this, his voice became a little choked up and he lowered his head deeply.

“I’m sorry brother, I know you like Ji Ning and I know that I shouldn’t, but I really can’t do anything. You like him and he also likes you. He’s the only Omega whose pheromones you like, you’re a natural couple. How can there be a misunderstanding between you because of me…” 

“…you’re not to blame, I am.”

Hearing the teenager’s words, Zhou Rin’s heart hurt more and more. Every word the boy spoke seemed to mock him, making it hard for him to breathe, “It was my fault.”

He slowly closed his eyes.

Maybe it was time to stop here. 

Before his mistakes became irreversible.

After Zhou Cun left, Zhou Rin lay on his bed with his arms behind his head, quietly looking up at the ceiling. Several scenes passed through his head, some from the past and some from moments ago.

The image that kept returning was when Ji Ning stood outside his car and knocked on the window. When he rolled it down, he’d seen the shy expression on Ji Ning’s face, and the moment the Omega told him he didn’t want them to just be friends, his world seemed to burst into dreamy and gorgeous colour.

But now this fantasy of colour was fading, revealing the original cold and darkness that was his cruel reality. 

He couldn’t deceive himself like this any longer.

This error should be corrected promptly.

But, before he gave up…

He wanted one last look. 

Zhou Rin sat up from the bed and changed his clothes. He grabbed his car keys and quietly left the house, driving over to Ji Ning’s university.

It was getting dark, and it was very close to the time when the University closed. Under his repeated pleading, the guard reluctantly registered him and told him to leave on time.

Zhou Rin nodded and thanked the guard. He drove over to Ji Ning’s dormitory, got out of the car and stood in the dim night, looking up at the windows of the dormitory upstairs.

He knew Ji Ning was on the fourth floor, but didn’t know his room. Most of the windows above him were lit, but with the curtains blocking the rooms, Zhou Rin couldn’t see anything inside. He had no intention of calling Ji Ning down, he just stood outside and watched. 

After tonight, he planned to apply for a company resident overseas, and wouldn’t return to China for at least a few years.

Even if Ji Ning felt a vague affection for him, it would fade as time passed. By then, his older brother could start pursuing Ji Ning.

But he knew he’d never be able to forget him.

When he’d buried Ji Ning’s coffin that day, he knew very well that his love, his desire, his pain, and his longing only belonged to this person. 

Ji Ning was obviously still alive, but it felt like he’d returned to that rainy funeral, and had once again chosen to bury him.

In the dark night, he lit a menthol cigarette, and when the last light was extinguished, he finally turned and left.

“…Zhou Rin?”

However, when he turned around, he saw Ji Ning approaching him without warning. 

Holding a few books in his arms, he stood between his two roommates, his beautiful features open in surprise.

Zhou Rin’s heart skipped a beat.

“Are you here to see me…?” The surprise soon melted into uncertainty and caution, and he asked softly, “Then why didn’t you send me a message? Ah, if you’re here for something else, then just pretend I didn’t say that…”

“I’m here to find you.” 

After a brief silence, the handsome Alpha looked at him and said, “Is it convenient to talk now?”

“Ah, yes…”

Ji Ning was taken aback, but responded quickly, handing his books to his roommates and asking them to take them back for him.

“It’s getting late, don’t forget to come back before the building’s locked.” One of his roommates glanced at the time on his phone and warned him. 

“Okay.”

Ji Ning smiled, and left with Zhou Rin. The two walked along the streets of the campus, the dim street lamps casting long shadows. After a short silence, Zhou Rin asked in a low voice, “Why did you come back so late?”

“My exams are coming soon, so I need to study.” Ji Ning replied, “What about you? Why did you come here so late and not send a message? What would you have done if I hadn’t happened to meet you?”

“It’s late, so I thought you might have gone to bed and didn’t want to call you.” Zhou Rin said. 

“You said the day before yesterday that you were still busy with the company. Did you come here on your way home to see me?”

“No, I came here specifically to find you.”

Zhou Rin suddenly stopped walking.

He stood a step in front of Ji Ning and didn’t turn his head. Ji Ning couldn’t see the expression on his face, and he couldn’t see Ji Ning either. 

“I wanted to tell you that the company’s business is still expanding overseas, and I may have to stay abroad for a long time to help with that.”

He slowly closed his eyes, trying to stop his voice from revealing any emotion.

“So what you said to me that day…I’m very happy and honoured, but I’m sorry.”

After he finished speaking, he fell silent. For a long time, there wasn’t any sound at all between them. 

“Ji Ning?”

Zhou Rin grew anxious from the lack of response and finally turned around. His heart ached at the sight.

Ji Ning stood frozen, blankly staring at him. His eyes were reddened and tears slowly dripped down his cheeks, wetting his face.