CH 15

Yu Le’s brain was working overtime to think of how to answer Zhu Luo’s question.

“I’m sorry…” He lowered his head.

Anyway, you couldn’t go wrong with an apology.

Hearing the familiar sound of an apology, the young man on the opposite side of him frowned, and an involuntary anger rose in his heart.

He didn’t speak, just stared at him. Stubbornly waiting for an answer that he deemed acceptable.

Yu Le’s mood became heavier with each passing second.

The strange emotions in his chest began to churn again, and he could no longer restrain them; they were like a flaming mountain, erupting faster and more violently than ever before.

His body was burning as the gushing love and pain turned into suffocating irritability, and a kind of hatred and predatory malice budded for the first time.

It wasn’t right.

Yu Le clasped his chest tightly as if he could restrain these feelings physically.

He couldn’t go on like this.

If he didn’t speak up soon, he would die in silence.

He didn’t want to be swallowed wholly by this emotion.

It wasn’t his fault! He was sorry!

Raising his head, the apologetic mumbles he had been chanting slowed as he met Zhu Luo’s eyes.

He took a deep breath and managed to somewhat relieve the uncontrollable emotions in his chest as he put on a serious expression, “Zhu Luo, you and I have been friends since childhood, but I did indeed have a period of time where…I liked you very much.” This was a sentence that took all the courage he could muster to admit, a sentence that the original owner had been hiding in his heart this whole time. And now, he could finally find peace as Yu Le relayed it on his behalf, “Azhu, I was secretly in love with you for ten years.”

Zhu Luo nodded, wanting to hear more.

Over the past ten years, love was never obtained, but only secretly grew.

Even though his soul had disappeared, this love and pain were so strong that they managed to remain in the body. So strong that Yu Le even had the illusion that it would chase him out.

He couldn’t get rid of them, nor could he ignore them. He was being eaten up involuntarily, but now it felt as if they could be resolved at last.

Therefore, Yu Le decided to face this turbulent emotion, passing it on to the young man who had stayed so blissfully ignorant all this time.

He inspected the jagged and undulating memory fragments of the original owner as he thought about where to start.

“When I was eight years old, my grandmother and I moved in across from your house. That very day, I heard you play the violin for the first time.” As he began to speak, Yu Le was easily replaced by the original owner. It almost felt like he had stepped back and was watching from the sidelines or perhaps through a glass window in a dream.

Zhu Luo smiled, expecting praise and compliments, reasons for why Yu Le liked him at least.

“I hated you for a while to be honest, but soon that changed. Zhu Luo, you really are a genius and your violin seemed to speak from your soul. When I was ten years old we were already familiar with each other and I was glad to be your friend. Proud even, especially so after you began to win competitions abroad.”

The more recent the memory, the more confused the memories of the original owner appeared, but within the jumbled pieces floating in his head, Yu Le began to see more and more distant scenes.

The memory from ten years ago was very clear, a shining ray of light that had been preserved with care.

Yu Le easily remembered the moment when the original owner fell in love with Zhu Luo.

That day, the ten-year-old boy had happily taken home his first trophy to show his friends and family. Seeing the original owner, he had immediately held the shiny trophy in front of him with a bright smile, saying, “This is for you!”

The original had widened his eyes with astonishment, “Me? …Why?”

“Didn’t you always want a trophy?”

“But…you have worked so hard to get this trophy, you… you have been practising every day and even staying up so late, and you just want to give it to me?”

Zhu Luo had nodded enthusiastically in response, “My dream already came true, I was number one in the competition this time. So now, I want to help your dream come true too! You’re more important than any trophy anyways!”

His heart had pounded against his chest.

Stuffing the trophy back, the original owner stammered, “I, I…you keep the trophy! That music box, I want that instead!”

That day, the ugly music box had become his most cherished possession.

And that music box’s owner was the sole recipient of all his dreams.

At this time, Yu Le finally felt that the excitement in his chest was calming. Taking a deep breath, he continued slowly, “Azhu, when I first fell in love with you, I was so excited. I was happy, really, really happy. But Azhu, you are a genius and I am not.” Yu Le described the original owner’s feelings in a flat tone, “I have known since I was a child that you would stand on the stage and become a violinist admired by the world, but I am different. I was abandoned by my parents as a child and only raised by my grandmother. Azhu, I am a normal person. When my grandmother died and I was left alone, it was you who accompanied me through my most difficult period. On the day after the high school entrance examination, we took a group photo together, and it was that day that I decided to stand by your side forever as a friend.”

He glanced up to gauge Zhu Luo’s reaction to his words before lowering his head down to his empty plate.

“I studied hard, went to the same high school as you, and even managed to chase you through university. But it wasn’t enough Azhu. I was becoming more and more greedy, I didn’t want to let you go. Zhu Luo, I’m sorry that I secretly collected our photos and belongings. I thought that being by your side would be enough, but I didn’t know when I grew so dissatisfied with the status quo. I loved you so much, and you…you saw me as a friend.”

That was the most challenging time for the original owner.

The pain of an unrequited love scorched him, burned him from the inside out. And the more he suppressed his emotions, the more twisted they grew until he couldn’t help but begin to secretly collect everything relating even slightly to Zhu Luo.

It was his refusal to express any emotions that led to the secondary personality and the third personality appearing one after another.

Yu Le narrated these past events monotonously, but any listener would be unable to ignore the sadness contained in his words.

Even without experiencing it, his description brought forth images of just how hopeless the path the original owner had walked was.

“I’m sorry Zhu Luo, loving you is too painful, I couldn’t continue any longer. So I gave up.”

Yu Le’s mood is calm; these are only emotions left by the original owner, after all; if they weren’t so strong in the beginning, then he wouldn’t have been affected at all.

Still, as he said these words, tears fell from his eyes.

Zhu Luo looked at him with distress, and for a moment, his eyes were very complicated.

Finally learning the truth, he realised he didn’t know what to say.

Opening his mouth, the only words that reached his tongue were apologies, “I’m sorry A Yu, I have never, never been aware of your emotions. I didn’t know that you were in such pain.”

“I—”

Zhu Luo cut off Yu Le, “I never thought of liking or disliking you before, you know. I have just regarded you as a friend.” He gritted his teeth and continued, “I received your flowers a few days ago, and to be honest, I…am very scared of losing you as a friend. Please forgive me; I haven’t figured out how to respond to you yet.”

Hearing this, Yu Le felt a strange dull pain in his chest, which slowly spread to his limbs like an anaesthetic until his whole body was numb in his chair.

But he was still laughing, “Zhu Luo, you don’t have to force yourself to respond. Didn’t I already say that I decided to give up on you?”

The young man on the opposite side shook his head sadly, “A Yu, I don’t deserve your affection at all…why, why are you so obsessed with me?”

Yu Le blinked.

Yes, he wanted to know too.

He inherited the original owner’s body, inherited the love and pain left behind by the original owner, and genuinely empathised with these strange but persistent emotions, but because of this, he was even more unable to understand the original owner.

How was he able to love someone like this, bearing all the pain himself and leaving the other with the sweetness of friendship? Did he truly have no regrets?

In the original owner’s life, apart from Zhu Luo, it seemed there was nothing else.

After thinking about it, he couldn’t understand and ended up attributing it all to a forced plot by the author.

So he smiled lightly and said, “Maybe it was fate.”

He was not qualified to judge anything, but the original owner would definitely not think that Zhu Luo wasn’t worthy of his love.

So, in return for taking this body, he could do his best to live well.

“Zhu Luo, you are worth it, and I have never once regretted loving you.”

“Then A Yu, are we still friends…?”

Letting out a long sigh of relief at this simple question, Yu Le nodded immediately, “Of course we are friends! Zhu Luo, we will always be best friends!”

“A Yu, will you still study abroad?”

Yu Le frowned and shook his head with some regret in response to this question, “No, when I first decided, I hadn’t realised it took so much money. I can’t afford it at all.”

He could barely manage to pay the rent on time, let alone go abroad for something so extravagant.

Studying abroad started as an excuse for the original owner to ensure that Zhu Luo wouldn’t worry after he disappeared; there was never anything arranged, but it was true that he did feel some regret that he couldn’t even try.

The fee was far too high for him to justify leaving, though, it would be better for him to stay nearby and do his best to help move the plot along to the finish line.

“A Yu…”

If you are worried about money, I am here, and I can help you.

Zhu Luo’s lips squirmed, he wanted to say such words openly, but they were like boulders sinking him down into an ocean. The weight they held was too much for him to force out, no matter how he tried.

Seeing Yu Le’s resolved expression, he finally closed his mouth and said nothing.

Initially, he felt no taste in any of the dishes before him.

But after putting down his feelings before Zhu Luo, Yu Le felt relieved.

He had given up on Zhu Luo and shared the feelings that the original owner had tried to take to his deathbed. The strange emotions he’d been left with were now calm as if they had never even existed.

Whether it was to the original owner or to Zhu Luo, the closure from this night was what they had needed to hear.

No longer holding the same anxiety he’d walked into this night with, Yu Le was starting to feel hungry.

After talking for so long, even if the signature dishes in front of him were exquisite, they had chilled in the room and no longer seemed appetising. Feeling pity for the wasted food, he glanced at Zhu Luo with the lightest eyes he’d had all evening, “I just confessed to you and was too nervous, I wasn’t in the mood to taste these dishes at all. Zhu Luo, shall we continue eating together?”

Zhu Luo frowned, suddenly dissatisfied, “A Yu, you seem a little happy?”

Of course, he was happy because the crisis was successfully resolved.

Suppressing the upturned corners of his mouth, Yu Le maintained his superficial reserved face and explained, “Well, I am very happy. I have been distressed for so long, thinking I would never have the chance to reveal my true feelings to you, but today I told you in a fair and honest manner. I used to like you. Although that may not be the case now, being able to tell you and listen to your response brings me joy, even if we are still friends.” He licked the corner of his lips as he looked at the cold dinner, “So, should we warm this back up?”

Zhu Luo held his chest, feeling inexplicably suffocated.

He didn’t know what he was upset about, but there was still a noticeable difference in his tone, “I’ve already had enough, you can eat by yourself.”

Acting more like himself, Yu Le began to think aloud, “That’s wonderful. By the way, this table was so expensive to order, if I can’t finish it right now, can we pack it to go?”

“…Yes,” Zhu Luo’s lips were pursed tightly as he answered. “A Yu, I…”

“Huh?” Yu Le looked at the other party and finally realised that he seemed to have something to say. Temporarily turning his attention from the meal in front of him, he asked, “What’s the matter, do you need something?”

Zhu Luo’s fingertips gently curled inwards, a habit he had gained from practising the piano all year round. He moved, hesitated, but finally said, “A Yu, there will be a charity dinner later. It’s an event organised by the municipal government in conjunction with the Municipal Grand Theater and the Provincial Symphony Orchestra. They will be taking the lead in donating the proceeds of this concert. For the celebratory banquet of our concert…” At this moment, even Zhu Luo felt that he was a bit thick-skinned, but he still looked at Yu Le with pleading eyes, “A Yu, do you want to come with me?”

Yu Le was silent.

Now, he could actually refuse.

If he slowly lessened their contact, the relationship between him and Zhu Luo would gradually weaken until they were unrelated strangers.

It seemed like a promising future.

But, the words that came out of his mouth were not a refusal, “Go, of course I’ll go! You will always be my best friend, how can you have a celebration banquet without me?”

He secretly sighed.

When the cautious and almost begging eyes of Zhu Luo met his just now, the slight remaining affection on his body began to stir.

Yu Le found that he couldn’t refuse Zhu Luo at all.

Walking out of the restaurant, the cold night wind blew in his hair, and his boiling thoughts calmed.

Saying his goodbyes to Zhu Luo, the two left separately.

Although there were still some minor problems with Zhu Luo, overall, he was quite satisfied with tonight’s dinner.

Looking at himself, he felt that he had done everything he could do.

The original owner didn’t want Zhu Luo to be sad, so he deliberately said that he wanted to study abroad, thinking that even if he disappeared later, Zhu Luo would only be angry for a while.

Even if he learned the truth, as long as Zhu Luo had someone else by his side, the original owner had believed that he would recover quickly.

Yu Le confessed the original owner’s intentions to Zhu Luo while simultaneously concealing the truth that the original owner had disappeared.

He felt that this should be what the original owner expected.

There was just one thing that made him feel a little strange.

It stood to reason that the original owner should have prepared for all the aftermath before taking the medicine to erase the personalities, and thus himself, but even until he disappeared, Zhu Luo didn’t seem to have heard the news that he planned to go abroad.

It was only after he had taken over the body that Zhu Luo had heard about it from a classmate by chance and rushed over to question him.

Had something happened right before he came into this world?

He tried to recall, but the memories before and after the original owner left were too chaotic to be explored at all.

Forget it, it shouldn’t matter that much anyway.

Doubts flashed past him as he remembered a more important subject.

He’d forgotten to ask Zhu Luo how he’d known he sent the flowers!

Although he thought this, Yu Le actually had a suspect, that annoying little boy!

Only that child had seen him send the flowers and had even gone so far as to threaten him with the incident, causing him so much trouble.

Slapping his thigh, he resolved to settle the score the next day.

Hi everyone!

I have successfully moved into my dorm with time to spare for uploading this, so I hope you all enjoy~