Getting into Yu Youzhi’s car, Yu Le sat in the back seat without thinking and watched Yu Youzhi skillfully start the vehicle.
The two people were silent for a while, and the dull sound of the engine starting filled the air.
Yu Le broke the silence, “Do you often drive by yourself?”
Yu Youzhi did not look back but glanced at him through the rearview mirror, “No, I never drive myself, but today is different.”
Listening to him say this, Yu Le reflected, feeling that his actions may have been a bit too rude.
He had been invited to dinner and was even being given a ride back; maybe he should be more friendly.
Thinking about this, he asked, “When did you open your restaurant?”
“Hmmm, it seems to be the year before last.”
“It has actually been such a long time,” he was a little surprised, “you’re so famous as a star and still have the time to run a restaurant. You’re amazing.”
The man driving in the front seat suddenly laughed, and the low sound echoed in the enclosed car. Yu Le looked up in response, only to see the man’s cold face reflected in the rearview mirror. His face was harsh, no longer even trying to pretend to keep a smile up.
“The proprietress is responsible for all of it, I just invest the money. It’s all thanks to her that the restaurant is still open,” Yu Youzhi summarised it shortly, “I’m not all that great.”
“Oh, so that’s it.” Yu Le was still staring at him through the mirror, but the conversation stalled as their eyes met.
“Want to listen to some music?”
Yu Le blinked, “You want to play your own songs?”
Stunned, Yu Youzhi recovered quickly, “Of course not mine, I could turn on some of Zhu Luo’s violin music though?”
Yu Le frowned, “Don’t, I don’t want to listen to the violin.”
So the two fell silent again.
After a while, Yu Youzhi spoke, “You ate a lot of meat tonight.”
Yu Le was completely lost this time; where was he going with this? His eating habits weren’t that bad, were they?
“Eating too much meat at night can lead to indigestion. Do you want to go for a walk with me later?”
“…No, after eating so much I just want to go home and lie down early.”
Along the way, Yu Youzhi found some random conversation topics, but they only lasted a few words before silence reigned once more.
During this period, Yu Le kept watching him through the mirror’s reflection.
Whether he was asking for help or talking about his schedule, from beginning to end, the star’s expression didn’t change from its cold temperature.
He felt that Yu Youzhi was a little strange tonight.
When facing fans, he was gentle and friendly; at the charity banquet, he was high profile and deliberate; in the private restaurant, he was full of laughter and smiles.
But now, he suddenly took off his mask.
His behaviour pattern didn’t change, but the pretence he put up with a smile was dropped.
“Yu Le, what are you thinking about?”
A gentle voice sounded from the front of the car. He was startled and woke from his thoughts, meeting the cold grey eyes in the mirror.
“You’ve been peeking at me since earlier, what’s come into your mind now?”
Yu Le asked directly, “I was wondering, why did you stop smiling?”
“Ah, so that’s what it was. I thought you were thinking about your childhood friend again and I was a little worried,” he continued, “It’s tiring to laugh all the time, and you don’t seem to like my laughter, so I won’t go out of my way to show it to you.”
Yu Le nodded, accepting this easily, “It really is tiring to smile all the time.”
“Yu Le, have I ever told you that I think you and I are very compatible?”
Upon hearing this, Yu Le fell silent, looking at the scenery outside the window, and lowered his eyelids, “I don’t think so.”
As they were both pitiable side male leads in this world, he did want to win over Yu Youzhi at first and resist the plot together with him, but after Yu Youzhi saw through his thoughts so easily, any thoughts of cooperation with him disappeared immediately.
“I’m just an ordinary guy and you’re a famous idol. We’re from two different worlds.”
Yu Youzhi smiled and put on his mask again.
He didn’t retort, merely stepping on the brakes and saying warmly, “Okay, Yu Le, this is your stop.”
Looking up, the car had arrived at the gate to his community before he knew it.
He opened the door and began to climb out of the car. Thanking Yu Youzhi, he was about to leave when the other party stopped him again.
“Yu Le.”
He turned around and saw Yu Youzhi leaning out the window to look at him, “I’m already downstairs at your house, are you not going to invite me in?”
Yu Le sighed and walked back, pushing the smug head inside the car, “You are a well known star, don’t come talk to me casually like this in the future. It’s not safe.” Perhaps because the night had been so calm, he didn’t get angry and waved goodbye, “Go home and drive carefully on the road.” He paused but still added, “Thank you for the dinner tonight, it was delicious.”
Just as he finished speaking these words, he frowned and looked around.
The sky was already dark, and occasionally a few dogs barked.
It was a calm night, with no one around to disturb them.
Yu Youzhi had no intention of rolling up the car window. Instead, he stretched out his head and looked around, “What’s wrong, did you see a paparazzi?”
Yu Le hesitated, “No…”
He seemed to have seen Zhu Luo on the car door’s reflection just now.
“It’s nothing, I was wrong,” he looked away, waving to Yu Youzhi as he turned to leave, “I’m going to bed.”
He didn’t look back, but he could feel Yu Youzhi’s eyes on his back until the door closed behind him.
Pulling out his mobile phone, he hesitated to send a message to Zhu Luo.
[Yu: Zhu Luo, did you come to the community to find me today?]
[Yu: I just got back home.]
He stared at the screen and waited for a while, but there was no movement from the other party. After a while, he turned it off and went about his own business.
When Yu Le’s messages were sent, Zhu Luo had already returned.
He sat in the dark car, thinking about the scene he just saw, and unconsciously flexed his hands.
He absolutely did not want to admit his mistakes.
But as he sat waiting for his friend to come home, Yu Le climbed out of Yu Youzhi’s car.
It was the middle of the night, and the big star, who could normally only be seen on TV, was leaning out of his car to talk and laugh with Yu Le. They had already stopped, and they actually kept talking for at least ten minutes.
He didn’t want to say it, but the scene of the two of them really reminded him of a young couple in love.
It was dazzling.
This made Zhu Luo feel an inexplicable anger.
He took a deep breath and wanted to pretend that nothing had happened and even maybe go out and say hello, but he was stunned as he accidentally caught a glimpse of himself in the rearview mirror.
His vicious eyes and twisted lips were strong, creating a face that was unfamiliar even to him.
He panicked.
“What’s wrong with me?”
The questions came like bullets.
“Why am I showing this expression?”
They couldn’t stop.
“Am I…jealous?”
He had come today to apologise.
On the day of the charity dinner, he had left in anger, leaving Yu Le alone in the banquet hall. The more he thought about it afterwards, the more he regretted his hasty actions.
Without sending notice, he drove all the way here in the middle of the night, but even at such a time, Yu Le wasn’t home.
It disappointed him at first, but he quickly remembered why he was angry in the first place.
“A Yu should have gone to dinner with that person today…”
Walking back to his car, somewhat depressed, he was about to leave when he saw a low-key luxury car slowly roll up.
It stopped at the gate, and Yu Le exited the back seat.
And Zhu Luo ran away.
On the way home, he couldn’t stop thinking about what he had just seen.
Holding his phone, his heart was pounding in his chest. The world around him seemed to be shifting as he dizzily swayed in place.
Clicking into the WeChat interface, he wanted to send a message to Yu Le, but the courage to hit enter didn’t seem to exist.
[A Yu, what did you and Yu Youzhi do tonight?]
It was such a simple sentence, but it was like a huge boulder sitting on his chest, making him breathless.
It was at that moment that Yu Le sent the messages, and he saw them drop into his screen with a weight he couldn’t describe.
[Yu: Zhu Luo, did you come to the community to find me today?]
[Yu: I just got back home.]
His heart calmed down strangely as he stared at these two messages.
He could lie and reply to Yu Le that he didn’t see him return and that he did come but then left, or he could answer honestly that he ran away after they came back.
If he answered the former, Yu Le wouldn’t pursue it. If he answered the latter, he might pursue it…but no matter what, he believed that Yu Le would respond to him seriously.
The more important question was, what kind of relationship did he want to develop with Yu Le?
In the end, Zhu Luo put away his phone without replying.
Returning home, the familiar space soothed Zhu Luo’s soul.
He turned on the lights and threw himself and his phone onto the bed.
The daily routine of playing violin and the emotional exhaustion from his interpersonal relationships were wearing him down. Hugging his pillow, he stared at the ceiling in confusion. With a sideways glance, he saw the rows of trophies on his bookshelf, along with the framed photo album and music box he’d gathered what it seemed like so long ago.
He still hadn’t returned these things to Yu Le.
Once they were gone, that secret love would really have nothing to do with him.
Thinking this, he got up again and took down the old music box.
The day before yesterday, he had replaced the battery.
Pressing the switch, unpleasant music began to play in the silent night. The little man on the top rotated in circles as the colourful lights around him flickered haphazardly. Several bulbs had already burst, and it felt as if more could join at any second.
The song playing was Little Star.
He no longer remembered why he recorded this music or why he gave it to Yu Le.
But as he listened, he still fell into memories.
The first time he met Yu Le was as a child near the Chinese New Year. The silver-haired grandmother across the street had brought dumplings over with him.
The skinny little boy stood timidly behind the old lady, like a little rabbit that could be frightened into running with the slightest sound, looking at him with an expression of evasion and envy.
He couldn’t remember whether it was out of sympathy or pity, but he stretched out his hand to the little boy, “Hello, my name is Zhu Luo!”
“H-Hello…I am Yu, Yu Le…”
The small boy’s stuttering made him laugh, and he stepped forward to grab his little hands, hesitating to reach out, “Okay, we have successfully shaken hands now, so we are friends from today on!”
Later, Zhu Luo found out that the frail child who seemed so small was actually the same age as him.
According to his parents, he was abandoned by his family a few years ago. If the grandmother next door hadn’t adopted him, he might have spent his childhood in an orphanage.
He sympathised with Yu Le more and more.
So, from time to time, he would go to the opposite door to play with Yu Le, dragging him up trees and fishing for dragonflies in the water. He would take him to play the violin together, applauding so sincerely each time.
When he was fourteen years old, Yu Le’s grandmother passed away. It was a sad time, and he was the one that Yu Le turned to, hugging and crying on his shoulder.
Then, he moved away with his family.
Even so, Yu Le was still by his side.
They went to junior school, high school, and even college together. No matter what happened, Yu Le always followed him, watching him silently, shyly, and tenderly from afar.
Gradually, he got used to such a Yu Le.
He never thought that Yu Le might leave.
“Yes, how could A Yu be snatched away?”
Waking up from his memories, Zhu Luo looked at the music box he was holding with complicated eyes and murmured to himself, his fear and uneasiness bleeding through into reality, “A Yu, you won’t abandon me like you did this music box, right?”
His eyes tightened with emotion.
“Could it be that…I actually like you a little bit?”
As soon as this thought appeared, he stood up in a panic as if he had awoken from a nightmare in shock.
What on earth was he thinking about?!
But before he could calm down, he heard a clang as the music box he had dropped in surprise collided with the ground.
In the empty room, the poorly performed music suddenly stopped.
The box was smashed in half, and the little plastic man bounced to the side as scattered wires protruded from the open base.
The ground was a mess.
But at this moment, this was not what Zhu Luo noticed.
He stared blankly at the bottom of the music box, at the white letter envelope that was exposed.
“—To Azhu” was written in black on the front.
Zhu Luo could tell at a glance that this was a note from a friend of many years—this was a letter left to him by Yu Le!
This ordinary white envelope, the colour was still very bright, a stark newness compared with the old tarnished music box.
Zhu Luo’s heart started beating wildly.
For some reason, when he saw this envelope, a strange premonition engulfed him. There must be something important written here.
He picked it up almost tremblingly and opened it, the familiar writing of his friend jumping into vision.
“Azhu, long time no see.
I hesitated for a long time and didn’t know whether I should really write this letter. Still, today, I looked out the window, and the weather was particularly nice. Did you know the ginkgo leaves have already begun to turn yellow? It’s a wonderful sight from my room. I took it as a sign perhaps this isn’t the best decision for you, but I want to tell you anyway.
First of all, I have to confess-Azhu, I have always liked you.
Not as a friend; it’s a serious crush. If I really count back, it seems that I have secretly been in love with you for ten years so far.
Although you didn’t notice it at all and only happily regarded me as a friend, I still have to complain, Azhu; you are really too slow about emotional matters.
Because of these feelings for you, I have been tortured for a long time, so please forgive me. I’m sorry, but I made a unilateral decision to give up on you on my own.
The second thing I have to say, which may sound a bit ridiculous, is-I am actually a triplex personality patient.
In addition to me, I also have a secondary and third personality living in my body.
You may have seen them before, but they were all covered up by me. I didn’t mean to hide it from you or deceive you; I just didn’t know how to explain this kind of thing to you.
More importantly, my second personality is very dangerous.
He has been trying to replace me over the years. The doctor has said that he is very aggressive and notably wants to hurt the people around me-especially you.
Azhu, this has always scared me.
In order to fight against him over the years, I have become more and more tired, unable to live in peace. I am always afraid that one day he will sneak out and use our body to hurt you.
But don’t worry, as I write this letter, the doctor has found a way to handle it properly for me.
Azhu, I think you may have realised by now I never really planned to study abroad.
I’m sorry, it was just an excuse for you.
I need to cooperate with the doctor’s treatment to solve my other personalities, and some accidents may occur during the period, so I may be away for a bit of time. But don’t worry, one day, I will come back to you.
If I don’t come back, please don’t be sad; I just hope you won’t forget about me.
Azhu, I like you.
So I hope you can always be happy.”
The letter wasn’t long, but after reading it, Zhu Luo felt dizzy.
He had already known that Yu Le liked him and even that he was given up on.
But Yu Le had multiple personalities? And one of them was dangerous? He had to cooperate for treatment and might not even come back?
If everything written in this letter was true…then what was going on?
He couldn’t figure it out at all, but within his scrambled thoughts, he suddenly remembered something.
The day that he learnt his friend was going to study abroad and rushed over to question him, Yu Le had stammered and hidden quite strangely.
Occasionally, he would raise his eyes, but his gaze never stuck.
Recalling that weird feeling, at that time, Yu Le felt as if he was looking at a complete stranger.
A Yu was a patient with multiple personalities…thinking of this, Zhu Luo couldn’t help but wonder.
Was the A Yu he had seen recently really the same one he had grown up with?