CH 46

Punishment

Translated by Dawn

Punishment

After finishing my conversation with Kazemiya Kuon, I immediately returned to the original convenience store.

She must have seen me walking towards her because as soon as our eyes met in the eat-in corner of the convenience store, she quickly came outside.

“Sorry for leaving you alone.”

“Narumi, you don’t need to apologize. If Sister called you out, there’s no helping it.”

“I feel guilty when I think about you.”

“Well, you left me behind and did something that would make you feel guilty in front of my sister.”

“I didn’t…”

“I know.”

We held each other’s hands, intertwined our fingers, and walked home together as lovers. And Kazemiya, as my girlfriend, smiled softly by my side. …Maybe, just maybe, I’d end up extinguishing this smile. Maybe I’d end up hurting her.

But still, even so, I…

“…Kazemiya.”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“…Yeah, I’m listening.”

During the journey home, I told Kazemiya what I had heard from Kazemiya Kuon earlier.

About how her mother had been deprived of her position, how Kazemiya Kuon had abandoned her mother, and how her mother would eventually appear before Kazemiya. And… that Kazemiya Kuon was planning to disappear from Kazemiya’s life. It was all for the sake of Kazemiya’s happiness.

While I spoke, Kazemiya remained silent, simply listening to me without uttering a word.

Occasionally, the grip of Kazemiya’s hand would tighten as if enduring something, but still, she didn’t speak until I finished the story.

“—That’s how it is.”

“…I see.”

When I finished telling her everything, we were already close to home.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Well, I couldn’t just keep it to myself.”

“But you hesitated, right? Whether to tell me or not.”

“I hesitated a lot.”

Her sister had abandoned their mother for her sake. She had destroyed their mother and their family. And now, she planned to disappear for the sake of Kazemiya’s happiness. I thought these facts would only hurt Kazemiya. For someone who had longed and yearned for a family, hungered for family love from her mother, it must be a cruel truth.

“I’ve been listening to Kazemiya’s complaints all this time. So… I hesitated. A lot.”

“But you told me. And… that makes me… really happy. Really.”

Kazemiya’s heart might be wounded now. I might have hurt her by telling her these things. But still, Kazemiya Kohaku had a smile on her face.

“…So, what are you going to do, Kazemiya?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you go back home, you can meet your mother. You can talk to her from a position of advantage. You can forgive her, or not forgive her.”

“…What do you think I should do, Narumi?”

“…Honestly, if I were to be honest, I agree with your sister.”

I admit it. I was similar to Kazemiya Kuon. I was detached when it came to ‘family’. That was why I found her plan of not being swayed by emotions and cutting off her mother to be right.

I felt tempted to whisper to her to just cut off her mother like that.

“Even if it’s family, there are times when it’s better to cut them off…”

In my head, the conversation with Kazemiya Kuon from earlier flashed back.

What Kazemiya Kuon desired was for “Kazemiya to cut off her mother.” And she asked me to support Kazemiya in not being swayed by emotions and cutting off her mother.

So, I could say that I was acting according to Kazemiya Kuon’s plan.

That was why Kazemiya Kuon came all the way to explain it to me. She knew that if I, someone similar to her, understood the reasoning, I would act accordingly.

“But… that’s just my reasoning, and it’s not even my greatest wish.”

“Then, what is your greatest wish, Narumi?”

“It’s for you to do what you want and for me to be on your side, Kazemiya. That’s my greatest wish.”

You don’t understand, Kazemiya Kuon.

It’s true that you and I are similar. But we’re not the same.

“At the very least, I think this is something that you should decide for yourself, and I’ll respect whatever choice you make and support you, Kazemiya.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Even if you do something wrong, even if it’s a crime, it doesn’t matter. You can cut off your mother or forgive her. You can keep avoiding the answer and running away from it.”

Kazemiya Kuon might have a belief in Kazemiya Kohaku as an angel.

But I was not such a noble being. I was the lover, the boyfriend of Kazemiya Kohaku, a human.

“I’ve said it before, haven’t I? Even if you become the Demon King who destroys the world, I’ll be on Kazemiya Kohaku’s side. That’s not a lie, and it hasn’t changed. So I think you should do what you want, Kazemiya.”

“………”

Before Kazemiya could give an answer, we arrived at my house.

I unlocked the door and entered the house. The cool air from the air conditioning, which I had left on, enveloped my body, soothing the heat that had built up from the summer weather.

“…….I still don’t know right now.”

After returning to the living room and sitting on the sofa together, Kazemiya finally spoke after a while.

“Whether I want to cut off my mom, forgive her, or just avoid making a decision… Well, it was quite a shock to hear that my sister is trying to disappear from my life all of a sudden… I can imagine the reasons, though.”

Our hands were still holding onto each other. Our intertwined fingers remained intertwined, holding each other tightly.

“I’ve always been jealous of my sister, and I’ve suffered from feeling inferior compared to her. I guess she sees right through all of that. As long as my sister is around, I’ll continue to suffer. That’s why she’s trying to disappear.”

“I see… That’s something you understand, Kazemiya. It’s a bit surprising.”

“Well, of course. Even if I’m like this, I’m still her little sister. I can understand my sister’s thoughts to some extent. So… it wasn’t that surprising to me that my sister wants to cut off our mom. Somehow, I could sense it.”

…Ah. She truly was her “little sister,” wasn’t she? Even in this broken-looking house, she was still “family.”

“But you know, I still don’t know what I want… I’m still confused. More than that… I wonder if I’m heartless. Me, I mean.”

“Heartless?”

“Yeah… When my family is going through a tough time and I have to make a decision… but instead of that, I’m more focused on being jealous of my sister and feeling rushed.”

“Where in our conversation did you find elements to be jealous or rushed about?”

“In the fact that ‘my sister told you about this’ itself.”

A hint of anxiety seeped through Kazemiya’s words. Her grip on my hand seemed to tighten even more. It was as if she was pleading, “Don’t let go.”

“…Sorry. I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

“Well, think about it. There’s no reason for my sister to tell you about it. If anything, it has its disadvantages. It would be easier for my sister to achieve her goals if she didn’t say anything and kept it to herself.”

Now that she mentioned it, that was true. I hadn’t really thought that far, being overwhelmed by that person’s presence.

“But even so, she chose to talk to you. Doesn’t that mean… she’s relying on you?”

“Relying on me? Me?”

“Yeah. I think my sister has been keeping her feelings towards Mom and our family hidden inside herself for a long time. But pushing those feelings down inside can be tough. Sometimes, you just want someone to listen to your complaints, right? Like how we used to vent to each other at the family restaurant.”

After school, Kazemiya and I would go to a family restaurant and vent our frustrations to each other. That time we spent pouring out what was in our hearts filled us with relief and happiness. And I wondered how I had felt during those times when we didn’t have that place.

“I’m sure my sister came to rely on you. Someone who shares similarities with her.”

“…I’ve only met your sister twice, you know?”

“But didn’t she really like you when you first met?”

“Is that so?”

“Because she’s my big sister, and I’m her little sister—- Even if we’re sisters, it’s not strange for us to have similar tastes in guys.”

As Kazemiya spoke with her cheeks puffed up, I finally realized the source of the discomfort I had been feeling.

“Hey, Kazemiya. Could it be… you were anxious about that? That your sister might steal me away?”

“…What?”

“You were worried that your sister might take me from you.”

“……….”

It seemed like I hit the mark. Her silence was the greatest confirmation.

“Yeah… that’s right. I was anxious. It’s natural to feel that way. My sister is more beautiful than me, cuter than me, more talented than me… So, it’s only natural to think that maybe I’ll lose you to her!”

“And you were quite insistent on kissing and made some bold moves.”

“Well, that’s because…! I wanted to captivate you, so you wouldn’t be able to leave me…! If we did those things, maybe you wouldn’t be able to stay away from me…! Going to the convenience store, buying things, maybe you would… do those things for me, I thought… but…”

Her voice gradually grew softer. It seemed that she was feeling embarrassed about what she had said and done, realizing that she had even revealed unnecessary things.

“…Sorry. I tried to come up with excuses… but honestly… more than half of it was just because I wanted to kiss you… So forget about it, what I said just now…”

“What’s the point of trying to deflect the topic and self-destruct even further?”

“……………………”

Kazemiya couldn’t look at me anymore, completely averting her gaze, and began covering her face with the remaining hand. Her ears were bright red, clearly visible.

“Well… I thought you were pulling the accelerator a bit too much.”

“……………………”

“After all, we just started dating today, right?”

“……………………”

“It’s our first day, our first day. I didn’t expect things to escalate so quickly—”

“Oh, just stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! It’s not my fault, alright!? When we decided to date, my sister’s face popped into my head! And what’s wrong with wanting to kiss my boyfriend? And besides, it’s not like I have experience with this kind of thing!”

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong. And once again, you’re self-destructing quite spectacularly.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up! Anyway, I can’t think like this anymore. I can’t think about Mom or my sister. It’s impossible. Can we please postpone it until tomorrow—-nnn”

I pulled Kazemiya’s face, which had turned bright red, closer and covered her mouth with mine.

For a moment, Kazemiya tried to resist, but soon her body relaxed as if surrendering.

“Na, rumi…”

“…I  want to kiss my girlfriend, alright? What’s wrong with that?”

“This is the sixth time… but…”

“Yeah, that’s right”

“The promise was only five times…”

“If it’s already broken, then there’s nothing we can do, right?”

“…I guess you’re right…”

“So… the sixth time, the seventh time… it’s all the same, right?”

“Huh… Ah…”

Tick-tock, tick-tock. The sound of the clock’s hand resonated unusually loudly.

A sweet and tingling silence. After that, Kazemiya had completely lost the momentum from earlier.

“Kazemiya, if I’m going to do anything further with you, I want to do it properly.”

“…Properly?”

“I don’t want to do things out of desperation like you trying to hold onto me with your body because you’re afraid of me being stolen by your sister.”

“………”

I wanted to convey that to Kazemiya. Words alone weren’t enough, so I held her delicate body tightly.

“I won’t disappear from your side just because. Even without resorting to such measures, I’ll always be here.”

I wanted her to understand that. And while saying it, I held her in my arms.

“I’m on Kazemiya’s side because… I like the childish and troublesome parts of you, the one who vents with me after school and who has helped me. I like Kohaku Kazemiya as a person.”

“Narumi…”

“So you don’t have to be anxious or do anything that’s uncomfortable for you.”

“Yeah…”

I was relieved. She understood.

“By the way… just out of curiosity.”

“What is it?”

“Do you… not want to… do those things with me?”

“Of course I do. What do you take me for?”

“Really? Not because I’m not your type or anything?”

“Why would you think that? I even have proof, if you want.”

“Proof?”

While still holding Kazemiya’s fragile body, I whispered into her ear.

In this empty house where no one else could hear us.

“……I actually bought the same thing as Kazemiya at the convenience store earlier.”

“……Huh? What?”

“……Well, if we went that far on our first day, it’s only natural to feel that way. So I prepared just in case, though it’s just a precaution.”

“I see………”

“That’s right.”

“………Hey. If that’s the case….”

“Well, not today though.”

“Huh? Why?”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

With a slightly amused smile, I whispered softly into Kazemiya’s ear once again.

“It’s punishment for rushing ahead and trying to do that.”

“~~~~~~…..!”

Kazemiya looked perplexed, her face turning bright red, and gave me a resentful look. But I cherished her in that state, and we managed to get through the day together.