Chapter 301 - Undecided

"Ara, are you alright?"

Suzuki Ara looked up from her sketchbook and saw Rin, Miharu, and Midori entering the classroom. It's been two days since the kidnapping, and she knew that her friends' memories were altered and so, none of them remembered what happened. All they knew was that Ara had to take a day off from school because of a sudden fever after the exam.

The same happened to Sonoda Hiroaki who took a lot of damage from the event. Kazehaya Gin took the boy from the hospital and dealt with his injuries using the healers of the Homura House. He also could not recall anything from the event. He was absent today, however, as he caught a cold. 

"Yeah, I'm fine now. It's just a slight fever," she answered with a smile.

She was thankful that, in spite of regaining her memories as Alencica, her demeanor and her feelings towards her new friends remained. But her uncle, Gin already assured her that everything – all her emotions as Ara or Alencica - was genuine. It's just that she was a bit pessimistic about it until she saw her friends and felt the same happiness in her heart.

"Well, you were so busy the last few days getting married and then the test. You didn't have much time to rest."

At the mention of her marriage, Ara's smile faltered, but she was quick enough to hide it. Since leaving the Cedar Palace yesterday, she hadn't really thought about her issues with Ryuu. Actually, she's still scared to think about him for now when she's still so confused. After hearing that he'd woken up from her uncle, she hid her phone and her brother, Aki, was kind enough to let her use a temporary one. It had the numbers of everyone but they didn't know hers except Aki, Chiaki, and now, her friends at school.

"I already rested a lot, I'm starting to get bored," she told them as soon as they joined her around her desk.

"What's that?" Rin and Miharu asked as they looked curiously at the sketchbook on her desk.

"It's Ara's manga," Midori answered for her with pride. "You guys should see her drawings. They're really good!"

"Really? She's making a comic book?"

The other girls became so excited that Ara was not able to refuse when they asked to see her sketchbook. She even smiled and blushed from all the praises they gave her when they opened it and saw the group portrait she drew last night of her and her friends in Ritz.

"Oh my, Ara, you're really good!"

"Are these the characters? They look so alive!"

Ara felt shy. The girls were looking at the pencil sketches of her friends, but she did more actually. On the next pages were characters in full color. However, for her, they were not characters. They were real people.

"Woah, Ara, who did you model this from? Soooo dashing!" Rin asked in awe as she stared at Ivan's portrait in full color.

The Flame Emperor of Kres was in his usual silver armor with red fur on his shoulders and a red flowing cape. He had on his usual smirk, and his jade eyes shone in mischief. It was the closest to real-life Ara was able to draw of him.

"That's Ivan of Kres. He's one of the frequent characters that show up in the story," Midori told them with a grin. "He's handsome, right?"

"Yes. He's soooo hot. If he's just a 2D character, I'm still willing to drool over him," Rin cooed, making Miharu and the others laugh at her.

"He's a weirdo though," Midori teased her. "Ara made me read her script and this character's totally clueless he's so cute."

"Really? You have to let us take a look too," Rin said, but Midori shook her head.

"Well, Ara finished drawing a few chapters and we sent it to my cousin's company this morning for evaluation so the manuscript's not with her anymore."

Midori's cousin was an editor at the manga division of a popular publishing company in Tokyo. "But guess what?" Her eyes and voice were filled with suspense, making her friends more excited.

"What? What?" Both Rin and the normally quiet Miharu waited in anticipation, making Ara laugh as she watched them being teased by Midori.

"He asked if Ara could come when she has free time to discuss a possible contract!"

As expected, the other girls' eyes became rounder and their mouths formed an O as they exchanged delighted looks and then clapped their hands. There wasn't any need to ask if they were genuinely pleased with the news.

"What's your decision then? Are you going?"

"Well…"Ara hesitated.

When she first came here on Earth, she was at a loss as to what to do, thinking that she had to live on like a normal human girl. Discovering her talent in drawing gave her purpose, and she had even made being a comic artist her goal. However, since finding out about her and remembering her lost memories of her original life as Perun's cursed child, she somehow didn't know what she wanted to do anymore. It was as if she had lost her purpose in life once more.  

Last night, after coming back to Denenchofu from the Cedar Palace, she had spent the night drawing endlessly to keep herself from thinking too much. Actually, early in the morning, Ara came to school on time even if they technically didn't need to come to school anymore. It's because she didn't want to stay at home to think. Midori happened to go to school early as well and she saw her work and dragged her towards Ikebukuro, Tokyo, where her cousin's office was located.

She had submitted her drawings without the eagerness she thought she'd have when given the opportunity to present the work she had poured her heart into. She knew she was being ungrateful again. She knew that there were many other people out there who'd love to be in her shoes right now. But, her eyes were much too clouded by her problems she couldn't appreciate the wonderful things she had at the moment.

Before leaving the Cedar Palace yesterday, her uncle had already briefed her of the truth and what she's supposed to do to fix her situation. She was supposed to fight the real Czernobog to put an end to it all.

If it were the Alencica who hadn't had her soul broken yet, she'd have fought tooth and nail to grasp all the opportunities she could to be with the man she loved. But, after being treated as the harbinger of doom, Ara didn't know if she really wanted to even do that.

Love and hate, she was still overflowing with both. She wanted to embrace as well as destroy. She didn't trust herself to make the right decisions – not when she's still feeling like this.

"I'm not sure. I need time to think it over, I guess…"