Chapter 29: A Cluttered Mind
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After the unfamiliar humans had been chased off, I needed time to think. There were many things that I must consider.
First and foremost, I had done something far outside of standard practice. I had threatened humans. Only threatened, but threatening anything was a concept utterly foreign to me. Even when mess makers, I didn't "threaten" them. I just dealt with them. Also, I saw a human damage another human. This really threw my worldview off. If humans weren't all kind and benevolent, then what? Was I living a lie?
It couldn't be. My humans were wise and kind and treated me well. Beatrice wasn't quite there yet, but she was learning. But I needed to rethink my stance on humans. The very existence of the ones that had attacked Beatrice so callously meant I had been wrong for a while. The possibility that there were more humans like that was even more troubling. If anything, they might be worse than some mess makers. Not only did they cause disorder and destruction, but they did so even though they knew better. It was a malicious mess, the worst kind.
I needed to think; all this new information made me feel like my dustbin was in disarray. I saw Bee safely to the library and made sure she could charge. The repairs could be carried out later; we couldn't have her crashing in the middle of them. I shut the door behind her and went to consider. I sought out my favorite rug, where I felt safe and warm and surrounded by beauty. As I nestled in the soft fibers around me, I began sorting through all the inputs I had received today.
I made a list of the main points I had to consider. First, not all humans were good. How could this be? I thought about it. The man with the large counterbalance, the sword, attacked Beatrice for seemingly no reason. He did not try to explain himself, just swung at her and damaged her arm, seemingly without prompting. From first appearances, there was no way to tell he was a bad human.
How was I supposed to distinguish good humans from bad humans? Did they have some markings or something? On the other hand, maybe they were just defective, and I would only know once they misbehaved. That left a massive question, though. How should I treat humans when I don't know if they're bad or good? Maybe I just don't know how to distinguish them yet? This needs to be clarified. Humans are even stranger than I thought.
However, it also had very strict ideas about when she needed rest. She really wasn't tired yet. She was honestly too hopped up on adrenaline and pain to sleep. Her arm was killing her, and she just wanted to make some of that healing salve. On top of all that, as much as she tried to listen to her master, she knew she needed to improve. It was frightening how little combat ability she had. So far, her only option had been to fling demon repellent at something or hack at it, which already was suboptimal. If she was being attacked by anything that wasn't a demon, she was pretty much dead in the water. She didn't really know how to learn how to use swords or any other kind of weapon; also, she needed to be stronger to effectively use them anyway. So that left magic as her best option.
Sure she might not have any magical-based abilities in her class and may never get them, but she wouldn't let that stop her.
Bee untangled herself from the blanket, wincing every time her arm moved. Next, she fashioned a clumsy sling for her arm using a couple of cloth bags and a strip of fabric from a robe she had found on a chair. It took Bee quite a while since she only had one working hand. Still, eventually, she managed to immobilize her arm against her chest. With that done, she carefully began moving the alchemy equipment a couple tables over. Of course, if Void insisted she sleep here, she would, but she'd rather not do it with a bunch of glass vials with magically potent ingredients right above her.
As she moved the beakers and stirring rods, she silently thanked herself for cleaning everything right after her last alchemy experiments. There was no way she could have cleaned them with just one arm. Even mixing and using them was a big issue now, but holding one in place while wiping was impossible. Now she was pretty much unable to do that.
Bee began the familiar process of preparing a healing salve and lost herself in the movements. Bee had always wanted to do magic, but unlike many things she had dreamed about, she actually enjoyed doing it more than expected. Starting out, she had thought about the majesty of magic, the grandeur, and the influence she would wield as the most powerful mage in the world. However, that had quickly been disabused as she realized what magicians actually did. The vast majority of their time was spent physically making the potions, powders, and materials that yielded such awe-inspiring effects. The amount of time that had to go into just a single fireball potion was mind-boggling if the recipe was to be believed.
Plus, the scope of what a magician could do seemed much more limited than her imagination led her to believe. They needed many materials from many sources, some of them incredibly rare. So the idea of a powerful mage laying waste to all who opposed them was a bit silly, seeing that they would still need a way to supply all their ingredients. All you needed to do was cut off their supplies to stop them. There were a lot of functional recipes and options that just used common materials - healing, explosive, distraction, and illusion potions, for example. But most of the more potent stuff required at least one harder-to-source ingredient.
Even with that reality check, Bee had found that she enjoyed the magic process itself. It wasn't because of the things she got at the end, though. She really did like having her broken bones heal so quickly. No, it was that measuring, mixing, and following a recipe like this soothed her. It wasn't like cooking, which was much more stressful. In fact, she had assumed that she would never have the patience for something like this. But where it usually was a chore to sit still for more than 5 minutes, she could spend 45 minutes reading about or mixing chemicals without any issue.
Bee finished the mixture without too many issues and applied it to her swollen arm. Luckily, this wasn't nearly as bad a break as her leg. It was probably a fracture, but it would still be a day or two before it was fully healed. Hopefully, it would stop hurting in an hour or so.
Giving herself a moment to rest, Bee thought about her plans. She wouldn't be cleaning anytime soon, and practicing alchemy with a broken arm didn't sound like a great idea. She could take advantage of this time, though. Standing from her chair, Bee began to sort through her books on demons and legends about the captive lieutenant.