CH 4

Common Honorifics:

-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.

-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.

-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.

-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

After that hellish meeting was finally over, I went home and talked with my father about life. He imagined my current situation in class and suggested I take a break from class, and even proposed I change schools, but I said I was fine as-is.

To tell you the truth, I don’t want to go there anymore, but I feel like I have lost to those guys if I stopped going. Besides, I didn’t feel as hopeless as I felt this morning anymore. My feelings may have dulled these past two days.

Still, what is hard is hard, so I asked my dad for one favor.

“But our school trip is happening next week, right? To be honest, going is too much for me, so can I just stay at home?”

With a forlorn look in his eyes, he agreed. I’m not sure I can handle a group activity such as a trip, where we’ll be eating, sleeping, and working together for a few days. Even if I said I was okay with staying in that school, this was still impossible.

I went back to my room after talking with my dad and Sayu for a while longer.

Thoughts about Monday littered my head, and I was sure my situation wouldn’t improve by then. Maybe I’ll even go through bullying… Still, I no longer want them to understand me. My family and hers have already reached a settlement, so all I have to do is endure next year until I graduate from junior high. If the bullying turns unbearable, then I’ll think about it.

With this in mind, I picked up my phone.

“Let’s break up. We don’t have to walk to school together from Monday onwards; Thank you for everything.”

I texted Momiji, thus severing the strongest bond I ever had outside of my direct family.

The other thing to think about is my club. I’m currently a member of the track team, but I have no intention of keeping it up. I had even been chosen as a regular despite being a sophomore, and have been working hard so far. The thoughts of wanting to participate in fun competitions with my friends had since disappeared and since there were no tournaments in sight, it wouldn’t be irresponsible of me to leave. I mean, I joined due to being invited by a friend in the first place, though he gave up on me after the allegations.

Our middle school doesn’t have mandatory club activities, so having none doesn’t pose a problem.

Even with all that being decided, I still had one thing I was personally very worried about: Sayu. When I talked with her earlier, it seems word of my allegations hadn’t reached her class, but it’s only a matter of time. As soon as Monday comes around, she’d be at the center of a commotion and would be heavily affected by my reputation. I wanted to do something about it, but any action I take will only worsen the situation.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope my sister doesn’t lose her standing because of me…

Two months have since passed.

What worried me the most was my sister, but fortunately, things didn’t turn out as I feared. When I asked her about it, she answered with an “I’m fine,” which only served to make me more concerned. Maybe she was feigning it not to worry me? I had thought, but when I saw her both in and out of school, she was surrounded by many friends, smiling her happiness away.

I was relieved to see my fears were unfounded.

After that, Mr. Watanabe told the class the problem had been solved. From then on, no one talked to me except for one person. I mean, if you consider bad-mouthing as a conversation, there were a lot of people who talked to me. Very optimistic thinking, I know.

While fortunately, it didn’t develop into physical bullying, I felt my heart being slowly chipped away with each curse thrown my way. Despite that, it wasn’t unbearable. No, it might have been the slowly forming cracks that enabled me to bear the constant abuse.

By the time the last day of school came around, in December, I gradually got fewer and fewer curses and stares knifed my way; less than what I got at the beginning. Soon enough, I was instead treated like air; a person who wasn’t there.

Well, I guess if anything happened to me, it was the few times my pen case and bag were thrown out the classroom window.