Chapter 24: New Mexico
A/N: Poor Jane. SHIELD are just big mean bullies. Luckily her sugar daddy shows up to set them straight.
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“You can’t do this! This is my life’s work! I have rights!”
Dr. Jane Foster had had a crazy couple of days. Scratch that, she’d had a crazy month to tell the truth. Three weeks ago, she’d been at the opening ceremonies for the first Stark Expo in more than thirty years. It had been a chance to finally meet with the man who’d been funding her research for over a year now, Tony Stark himself. She’d also gotten to meet his wife, the astonishingly beautiful Pepper Stark.
It’d been a short little meet and greet, what with how busy the power couple were. But it had still been great, as had been the next two weeks she’d spent hanging out at the Expo just soaking it all in. She hadn’t realized she’d needed the break from her work honestly, and she found herself glad in the end that she’d let her friend, Dr. Erik Selvig, talk her into it.
But then a week ago, her and Erik’s intern, Darcy Lewis, had contacted her from Jane’s lab in New Mexico with reports of atmospheric readings that were... frankly everything that Jane had been waiting for. She’d taken the first flight out the very next morning, and a few days later Erik had joined the two of them in person as well.
Then, last night... something had happened. Something beyond just hitting that blond man with the chiseled jaw with her van. Jane didn’t fully understand it yet, but she did know one thing... it had to be momentous.
Unfortunately, it appeared she wasn’t the only one who thought so. Because after leaving the guy they’d hit at the hospital, Jane had returned to her laboratory with Erik and Darcy in tow, only to find a bunch of government spooks in suits were packing up her entire life’s work into the back of a nondescript black truck to haul it who knew where.
A man with an altogether offensively bland smile stands between her and her equipment and data now, having introduced himself as ‘Agent Coulson with SHIELD’. And in the face of her outrage and desperate fury, he has just one thing to say.
“I’m sorry Dr. Foster. I know this is hard. But we’re the good guys.”
Erik is already holding her back, otherwise Jane thinks she definitely would have tried to punch the fucker in the face for that sort of comment. Other than that though, Jane doesn’t know what to do. Just as despair is settling in however...
“Yeah, Coulson? That what you’re going with here? Because from where I’m standing, you don’t look like the good guys. You look like a bunch of thieves.”
It says something that everyone stops and turns at the sound of that voice. Not just Jane and her friends, not just Agent Coulson... literally everyone, including all of the nameless government mooks, turns and looks at Tony Stark as he grins and steps in from the sidewalk. Next to him, positively rocking her pantsuit like she was born to wear it, Pepper Stark has an arched brow and a phone in hand, almost like a threat.
“Mr. Stark. Mrs. Stark. This isn’t your concern.”
Is that a note of barely-there trepidation that Jane hears in the Agent’s otherwise placid tone, or is she just imagining things? Hell, maybe she’s even projecting. Just like back at the Stark Expo, Jane’s heart tha-thumps in her chest a little as Tony and Pepper walk forward in lockstep, wearing more money in clothing than she’s probably seen in her entire life.
Hope wells up in Jane’s heart, because Agent Coulson is actually quite wrong about that statement. As Pepper is quick to explain to him.
“I’m afraid it very much is our concern, Agent Coulson. Doctor Foster, Doctor Selvig, and their intern Ms. Lewis are all part of a team being funded by Stark Industries.”
Coulson’s posture tenses up at that, and Tony grins, pouncing like a wild animal on that moment of weakness.
“That’s right, Agent. You’re not taking Dr. Foster’s life’s work here. You’re taking my toys. And that, my bland agent, is a very, very bad idea.”
Jane didn’t even care that Stark was referring to all of her work and equipment, some of which she’d built herself, as his ‘toys’. Sure, Jane had literally made some of the instruments she was using to record her data with her own two hands, but the parts had still been sourced from either Stark Industries itself or paid for with Stark Money. And so far, Tony had been a completely hands off investor... until now.
“SHIELD is already prepared to compensate Dr. Foster for her loss. We’ve set up an account with discretionary funds so she can-!”
Jane is just about to cut off the Agent and tear into him when Tony does it first.
“Don’t be ignorant, Coulson. Especially not in such a painfully willful way. We both know this isn’t about money. This is about SHIELD stepping in where it’s neither wanted nor needed. Put bluntly... you’re outside of your jurisdiction, Agent.”
Jane furrows her brow at that, even as Coulson’s eyes narrow. They were? But that implied this was Stark Industries’ jurisdiction instead. How did that work? It’s not like the company was a law enforcement agency... right?
“Care to elaborate, Stark.”
Smiling wolfishly, Tony claps his hands together.
“But of course! Put simply, I’ve had Dr. Foster and her team out here monitoring things for quite some time now. The situation that has developed as of today has been brewing on my radar for months. The World Security Council has been briefed by yours truly as of this morning and Secretary Pierce gave me his full support at the end of our last conversation. Put simply, Agent... this is officially above your paygrade.”
There’s a pause at that, which Jane is grateful for because she’s trying to parse everything Tony just said. Especially since... well, as far as SHE was aware, she hadn’t been monitoring anything for Tony ‘for quite some time now’! She’d just been continuing her research, which he’d been graciously paying for. And what situation was he talking about? Brewing for months?!
Of course, the moment Jane realizes she’s probably looking absolutely bewildered by this whole exchange, she tries to school her expression into something more... well, something other than completely flabbergasted. Unfortunately, by the time she’s done so, Coulson has already clocked how out of her depth she looks.
“... I’m going to have to call this in, Stark.”
For a second, Jane worries that she’s ruined everything, even as Coulson pulls out a phone and turns away to place a call. The other SHIELD mooks are all standing around them, watching them quietly. At least they’re no longer moving the last of her things to the back of the truck, but even still... the tension in the air is palpable.
Except where the Starks are concerned. Tony has that same wolfish grin still on his face, while Pepper just rolls her eyes and places a call of her own. Jane doesn’t think the call is even about this. From the way the woman is talking, it’s about something entirely unrelated that Pepper can’t put off any longer. A CEOs work is never done, Jane supposes.
Turning back around, Coulson holds out the phone.
“The Director would like to speak to you, Stark.”
Tony scoffs.
“You know I don’t like being handed things, Agent. Put it on speaker.”
“Come along then, Phil. I’ll show you and your men to the Site.”
She’s so busy being impressed (and a little turned on by the extremely capable woman) that Jane almost misses the fact that they’re getting into their truck, still filled with all her stuff, and preparing to drive away.
“W-Wait! My things!”
Tony places a hand on her shoulder though and gives her a reassuring smile.
“Not to worry, Dr. Foster. They’re doing us a favor. See, we were going to have to transport you and all of the relevant equipment over to the new Site Facilities anyways. Now SHIELD is doing the gopher work. How nice of them, really.”
Oh. That was... but what if...
“W-What if they don’t go where Mrs. Stark tells them to?”
Raising an eyebrow at that, Pepper’s husband scoffs.
“And kidnap the most powerful woman in the world? You tell me how you think that would go for them after everything you’ve seen in the last fifteen minutes, Dr. Foster.”
That was... a very fair point. Jane feels her shoulders slump in relief as the adrenaline of very nearly losing her whole life’s work finally starts to drain out of her. God she was glad that she’d taken Stark’s money. Doubly so when her legs give out on her a moment later and he’s there to catch her in his surprisingly strong arms.
“Whoa there! Easy now, take a seat... take a moment and get your head on straight, Jane.”
She nods as she sits down, breathing slowly in and out. As she does so, Tony finds himself bombarded by Darcy.
“You know, when Jane told me she got to meet you and your wife at the Stark Expo, I wasn’t even remotely jealous.”
More amused than offended by her words, Tony just grins. In the face of his incredible charm, Darcy falters, blushes, and then sticks out a hand.
“That was until I saw you two in action today. Darcy Lewis, Poli Sci Major.”
Taking her hand, Tony brings it up to his lips rather than shake it, placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles before letting her pull it back.
“A pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Lewis.”
Jane felt like it was a pretty good first impression, even with Darcy being Darcy. Which of course is when Darcy has to ruin it by doubling down and being even MORE Darcy.
“If you and your wife wanted to spirit me away to your fully kitted out sex dungeon and have your mutually wicked way with me, I would NOT be against it!”
Darcy immediately shuts her mouth the moment she’s gotten that out, but of course it’s much too late by that point. Jane groans and covers her face with her palm, but Tony Stark is Tony Stark. Meaning he has incredibly thick skin.
“Well now. Don’t go saying that anywhere in Pepper’s general vicinity.”
Huh? Darcy blinks and asks what Jane is now thinking.
“Wait, why?”
Tony’s grin widens to the point of almost inhuman levels of smug.
“Because she might just decide to spirit you away to our fully kitted out sex dungeon and rope me into having our mutually wicked way with you, Ms. Lewis.”
Jane has never seen anyone shut Darcy up so damn effectively before. It’s honestly kind of almost as amazing as watching Tony Stark run circles around SHIELD and their mysterious Director on the phone.
Of course, with Darcy rendered speechless, Tony moves on to the last member of their team.
“Dr. Selvig. Good to see you again.”
“You as well, Dr. Stark. Though pardon me for being blunt... what the hell have you gotten us into here?”
Jane jolts, alarmed that Erik is taking such a confrontational stance with the man that just... that just SAVED them! But Tony still doesn’t get offended.
“Nothing you wouldn’t have gone and gotten yourselves into even without my help, Dr. Selvig. That I can promise you. Though, I have to ask...”
Tony looks at them all for a moment, brow furrowing.
“... Have any of you seen a blond man with shoulder length hair, a chiseled jaw, and muscles for days in the past twenty-four hours?”
Jane’s eyes widen, as do Darcy and Erik’s. None of them has what you might call a very good poker face. Still... how did Tony Stark know they’d hit someone with the van?! And was he going to rescind his funding because of it?!
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A/N: The seeds of Darcy joining the harem are planted, fufufu. Meanwhile, Tony has swung around his big WSC-backed dick and made SHIELD bend to his will. I'm sure that'll be fine.
Just gotta go get Thor now.