Chapter 30 Forgive Me, Erwin

"Ilya-san please calm yourself down"

Elis is trying to calm me down, I yelled at Erwin and even slapped him, to think he would hate me now make me cry so hard.

"I'm sorry Erwin.. Please forgive your sister.."

I'm still sobbing in Elis's hug, she comforts me and tells me that Alto-san would look for Erwin and bring him home.

I still can't forgive myself for doing cruel things to Erwin without letting him say a single word, Elis was there with him that should make me less worried, but I can't and my anger wins over myself.

"Elis-san... *sob..*sob.."

I hug Elis san and just let out every single tear I have, I cry as loud as I can, she pats my head and gently stroke it.

"It's okay, Erwin-kun is so lucky to have such sister like you Ilya-san"

I feel warm in Elis's hug, the warmth is flowing through my entire body and it's so calming, but I can't help about the tear that coming down from my eyes.

"I'm sorry Elis-san *sob.. I wet your *sob.. clothes"

I want to let go of her but I can't, she keeps pushing me to her, and I just keep crying in her arms.

After some times I finally able to calm myself down and not crying anymore.

"I'm sorry I make your clothes wet Elis-san"

"It's okay, I don't really mind, I'm happy I can comfort you"

She said that with a big smile on her elegant face.

I hand her a handkerchief to wipe my tears that makes her clothes wet, she receives it and starts wiping it around the place that is wet.

"I found him laying down on the ground and I saw some dead wolves near him"

Elis is calmly wiping her clothes with the handkerchief and then she hands it back to me.

"He's not injured, right? he's fine right?"

I kinda shake her on the shoulder, I quickly apologize because I'm doing that.

"It's fine Ilya-san I know you're worried about your little brother, he's lucky to have a good sister like you"

"I'm not a good sister, I just did a cruel thing to him"

I look down and without realizing my tears coming down again, Elis quickly take the handkerchief and wipe my tears out then she holds my hand, her warm hand really gives me a safe feeling.

"It's not like that Ilya-san, you're a good sister because you really worried something bad might happen to your brother, that means you really love him and want to keep him, you don't want him to get into a dangerous accident right?"

I can't feel any lies in her words, all those words are coming from her honest feeling, I can feel the warmth from her words and she keeps accompany me until my emotions all calmed down.

"I will borrow your kitchen for a bit"

Elis get up and walk to the kitchen to prepare some tea, I offer to help but she refuses and forces me to stay and wait, she keeps staying with me for the next 25 minutes and I'm starting to worrying about Erwin again now.

"There's a gentleman who told me that he would find Erwin, I think he's not a bad guy, at least my feeling says so"

We ended up just sitting to each other and talk about what actually happened in the south forest when Elis found Erwin while drinking a tea.

I feel so comfortable near Elis, I can let out every single hidden feeling I have.

"Hey..."

Someone is suddenly open the front door and yell, he may be looking for me because the voice sounded like Alto-san's voice.

I quickly run to the front door and see Alto-san is carrying Erwin on his back, he looks pale and his eyes are a bit swollen, I can understand he maybe cried a lot after running away.

"Erwin..."

I tried to approach Erwin after Alto-san put him down from his back, he looks worried because Erwin doesn't seem to be in a good condition.

Without me realizing I run and hug Erwin tightly, it feels like I shouldn't be doing this after I did those cruel things to Erwin, but I can't help myself and hug him.

I let out tears and cried as hard as I can.

"Forgive me Erwin... Please don't go away from me..."

I'm not in the position where I can say that line, but I don't want to lose anything anymore, I don't want Erwin to go from my life.

"Forgive me Ilya-nee...."

His soft voice really makes me feel a deep heartbreaking, I can't lose Erwin, not the only family I had left.

I hold him tighter and cry as loud as I can, I keep apologizing to him, I need him to forgive me because I don't want him to hate me, I can't let that happen.

Erwin starts to cry and hold my body, looking at us, Elis hug both of us and pat our head gently.

"You guys are beautiful siblings"

She keeps doing it until we calmed down, she's a wonderful woman, she helps me to make up with Erwin and her honest feelings really move me, I promise to myself I can't let the bond between me and Erwin as siblings broke.