Chapter 33: Impish Antics

Chapter 33: Impish Antics

“Yes?” he asked, not succeeding at keeping the irritation out of his voice nearly as well as would have liked.

“Is this Isaac Thoma?” a voice that sounded slightly harried asked.

“Yes? And you are?” he asked, practically growling. It was in the middle of the blasted night. Who the hell called at this time?

“This is Polizeimeister Langschwert, I was wondering if you could assist us at this moment.” the man at the other side explained, then giving an address five of blocks south of his apartment “I can send a car to pick you up, it would be there a couple of minutes. I ...”

“It’s four in the morning and I’m dead tired.” Isaac interrupted the man “What’s the issue, why is it urgent, and how the fuck do you have my home address or private phone number?”

“There’s a monster locked in a building here, we need to know what it is. I don’t have either of those, I called the university and was forwarded to you because you work with monsters and live nearby.” the man rattled off quickly.

“Ugh.” Isaac groaned, making sure to do so loudly enough for the other man to hear. He couldn’t in good conscience leave a monster running around, not when he was so close.

“I’ll be there in five minutes, no need for the car.” Isaac sighed and rolled out of bed with another groan, hastily dressed and started heading out. The moment he was outside, he phased and dropped through the floor, becoming corporeal three floors down. Now that he was lower to the ground, he could jump the rest of the way without risk, so that’s what he did.

His next phase took him through the building’s outside wall and let him drop onto the street outside, at which point he just took off at a full sprint. It would have looked incredible to anyone watching, but it was the middle of the night and there was no one out here to observe his antics.

He held his phone back up to his ear and spoke into it over the air rushing past him.

“I’m running to meet you, I’ll stay on the phone until then and tell you when I see the lights of your cars.”

The wind rushed past him as he leveraged his Strength and Agility to their utmost. In fact, they were slowly reaching the point where normal cobblestones didn’t provide enough friction for him to just run. Instead, he aimed his feet right at uneven parts, hooking the tip of his shoes against them to yank himself forward.

As soon as they became available, he was buying one of those shoes with an enchantment against slipping.

In hindsight, Isaac should have just gone barefoot. As of right now, there was very little that could damage his feet which wasn’t an actual attack. Caltrops, bear traps, that sort of thing would be a problem, but would they really be lying around on a random sidewalk in the middle of a city?

Soon, the flashing lights of the police cruisers came into view, though there was also a heavier car, somewhat akin to an APC there as well. Clearly, at least some of the SEK was already there.

“Anyway, I’m running in from the north, wearing jeans and a dark navy blue t-shirt. See you in a sec.” he announced over the phone and hung up, slowing his run a little. Sprinting at full tilt towards a group of clearly nervous people was a recipe for accidents, after all.

“Hey there, my name is Isaac Thoma, Polizeimeister Langschwert called me.” he loudly announced “Can someone point me his way?”

“Ah, there you are, thank you for coming.” a surprisingly young looking man replied, walking forward to greet him.

“Polizeimeister Langschwert, I presume?” Isaac asked and when he got a nod in return, he kept talking “Considering how many policemen are here, we’ve clearly got a significant problem on our hands, one you felt you needed some scientific help with. What is it?”

“Basically, a bunch of teenagers decided to play a ‘prank’ on their church’s pastor by summoning a demon right in front of the altar, then run off and lock the creature inside, completely forgetting that those creatures can track their summoners. But somehow, they still managed to keep it inside and get away. But then they started actually using their brains, realized how stupid an idea that was, and turned themselves in.” the policeman explained.

“And what did they say they summoned?” Isaac asked.

“They claimed it was a basic Imp, from a Tier 1 circle.”

“I’m familiar. They’re pretty weak and vulnerable to pretty much anything. You’ve got guns and should be able to kill it no problem. And while I’m always happy to help with situations like this, I gotta ask: what do you need me for?” Isaac asked.

“I called you here because this situation stinks to high heaven. Obviously, the situation might be what it looks like on the surface, but it just seems too convenient. They do something so stupid and immediately come to their senses and do the exact right thing? If a bunch of police officers show up, expecting to face the weakest of monsters and run into something that looks weak but is actually a high Tier monster with exotic powers? It’d be a bloodbath!”

“That sounds like a trap nasty beyond belief. Now, do you want me to handle the situation, or ...” Isaac trailed off suggestively. He’d be perfectly happy to deal with anything inside, but he sincerely doubted a police officer would use a civilian for something like that, at least not yet.

“So-so. I have an upgraded [Inspect] that lets me get a rough overview of a creature’s Stats, but no concrete values.”

“[Inspect]?” Langschwert frowned, hard.

“A [Skill] you get once you evolve your [Class] at Level 10, along with one for blocking it.” Isaac explained. Now, it was his turn to frown. Had no one told the cops about that?

“Ah.”

That wordless statement answered that, didn’t it?

“And when you said bottom of the barrel Tier 1, does that mean there are dangerous ones?” Langschwert asked, snapping his fingers as he suddenly remembered it.

“Actually, yes.”

“Could you give me a list?” Langschwert asked, practically throwing his notepad at Isaac.

“Sure thing.” he said as he began to write, explaining all the while “Tier 1 creatures are basically weird looking animals with anger issues, not something someone with a gun should be worried about. The problem are creatures with standout qualities, who are extremely strong in one area even if they suck ass in all other respects. A Slate Golem can be outrun by a snail but can tank a few rifle bullets. Acid Slimes die if you sneeze on them but if one gets within striking distance, you’re dead. Ephemeral beings can’t do much damage, but they’re almost invulnerable to anything that isn’t enhanced by magic.”

“Well, fuck.” Langschwert sighed, seemingly unaware that he’d said that out loud.

“Now it’s my turn to ask a question, though. What’s going on with the dumbasses who caused this whole mess?” Isaac asked.

“Massive fines, mandatory psychiatric counseling, community service. At least if they’re found guilty. I just hope it gets the point across. They’re currently cooling their heels at the station, waiting for their parents to come pick them up.” Langschwert sighed again.

“Have you considered scaring them straight?” Isaac suggested.

“As much fun as having you jump through the wall might be, that would be pretty illegal.” Langschwert grumbled.

“Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of a stern talking to from a wounded warrior, who explains in excruciating detail just how badly that could have gone for them.” Isaac said, turning to face the other man and activated [Hundred Faces].

His grin became wider and wider, unnaturally so, while making one of his eyes look incredibly bloodshot and hard to even look at. Nasty.

“Oh, I wish. Would be funny, but scaring the hell out of minors is best done with the parent’s permission and by someone with psychiatric qualifications.”

“A man can dream.” Isaac sighed.

“Yup.”

The car pulled up in front of the police station a couple of minutes later and Isaac got out while Langschwert parked.

“I’m really sorry about this, but even after all the help, you’ll still need to fill out that paperwork.”

“If I were afraid of paperwork, I wouldn’t have become a scientist.” Isaac just sighed “Let’s get this over with.”

What followed was over an hour of giving witness statements, signing reports, and beginning the process of setting up a way to get the cops the creature information they were gathering over at the university.

Well, that, and just in general trying to shore up as many gaps in their knowledge that were actually important. After all, the cops had gotten copies of a million different reports without a true awareness of what was actually important.

In the end, he stumbled into bed half an hour before he had to get up for work. Time to take a catnap, then sleep on the job, he supposed.The original appearance of this chapter can be found at Ñøv€lß1n.