Chapter 52 - A light disturbance

"Liliane, look! There is a riot!" shouted Anna. My hand paused when I reached for my bag. I wasn't sure I heard Anna right. I turned to found her staring at her bracelet.

"My little sister just send me a message. She said there's a riot in level twenty," she scrolled throw her messages then looked up with a concerned expression.

"What do you mean a riot?" I was so busy with the inner struggles that I haven't had time to keep in with the news. Level twenty that's awfully close to Demos.

"Haven't you heard a group called the real humans?" she whispered. I slowly shook my head. From her expression, I doubt that was a new music group. "Well, I happened to know someone who knows someone, who is a friend of one of the members," she gestured her hands in the air. I chuckled at the vague connection a friend of a friend sentence. "They said they are fighting for human's rights...our rights. Us, humans, for our rights to have a job. Do you know how hard it is to get a job and keep it?" she whispered with her eyes darting in all directions. I was sure no one could hear us still I leaned in to listen. "I think this is all a lot of bullshit!" she winked at me.

"So what is that riot all about?" I asked politely and retrieved my bag. Grant was waiting for me at the station. All I wanted was to get out of here as quickly as possible. Frankly, I didn't care about gossips and weird political views. However, I didn't want to be rude to her. Not again.

"Oh, the tension is rising cause in level twenty-one there all the robot factories. So it's a little natural that the real humans start there," she waved her index at me. I nodded out of politeness.

-Liliane, I'm waiting by the front door.

"Sorry, Anna. I'm a little in a hurry. Grant is waiting for me," I pulled the door and waved at her. "See you on Monday. Have a good weekend," I called.

"Don't forget my souvenirs," she shouted behind me. "And be careful!" I dashed to the front door. The corridor deserted stretched in front of me as I rushed to the gate. Grant waved as he noticed me swapping my bracelet on the panel. My mood lit up and I threw myself into his arms.

-Did you miss me?

The moment I relaxed in his embrace, all my worries went out the window. How I wished I could carry Grant around and feel bliss 24/7. He chuckled against my hair.

-I also wish I could be with you 24/7

I lifted my head and met his beautiful silver eyes with thousands of stars dancing in them. He brushed a stray hair away from my face.

-I've planned a great night so tomorrow first thing we can take the Transfer. I've already reserved our tickets, is that ok?

I nodded, he took my hand and we headed to the station. Grant was my happy pill. I peeked at his smiling face then back at the empty tunnel. It was a little odd that Mr. Ramdin was absent and most of the employees of our shift also. I guess that ratio thing Anna mention got me concerned.

"Grant, have you heard about that group called the real humans?" I sensed his tensed through the link. Which was a little odd to say the least?

"Why are you asking?" he frowned while staring straight ahead. Our footsteps echoed off the wall as we walked.

"Anna said there was a riot. Since I don't really follow the news or any of what is going on in the city, I don't really know," he let out a long sigh and turned to me with a smile.

"We artificial don't really mend in human politics. We do what we are assigned and all is good," I narrowed my eyes at him. This was not an answer I was satisfied with and I felt he wasn't telling me everything.

"Let's hurry, the Transfer will arrive soon," he pulled my hand turning my focus back at the platform.

***

"I not coming with you," said Demos when he came back. He let go of me as he slipped away from my welcome-home-kiss.

"But why?" I asked not hiding my disappointment. I needed both of them to support me in this reunion. He went to sit on his couch with a sigh. Somehow, he looked tired. Now that I think about it, he never once mentioned his work.

"I can't, all the patrol agents are mobilized lately," he met my gaze.

"But...but I can't do it without you...both of you," I shook my head. "You insisted that I go and not you're telling me I have to go alone!" my voice rose a notch. We stood in the living for long minutes.

"Is it the riots?" his head sprung up. Demos front at me.

"It's nothing to worry, everything will calm down by Monday," he shook his head making stray hair fall on his forehead. Grant came behind me and clapped his hands.

"Ok, enough of the depression topic. I've promised you a great evening and I'll stick to my word," he pulled on my arm. "First, you shower and get ready," he grinned.

"I'm not going out, not after the hangover. I'm still not over it by the way," I narrowed my eyes at him. They both laughed making me nervous.

"No, don't worry. Tonight is movie night with pizza. Homemade pizza," he winked at me. My stomach groaned in anticipation. That was a great motivation to get in me in the shower.

When I got to my room, I noticed a blinking dot on my bracelet. It was a short text from off-world. I inhaled a sharp breath. It could only mean something. Lyla! My heart drummed as I swapped my hand over the text message to open it.

Recipient: Lyla D. Donovan

"Hi, Lili Darling. I know I may sound annoying but I have to tell you this. I'm coming back"

I blinked at the message. She already told me so. I scrolled down from more and found nothing more. What was all this about? I really didn't need more drama in my life.

"Liliane, the pizza with being ready soon. Are you done in the shower?" called Grant from the kitchen. I quickly closed the screen and rushed to my closet to get a change of clothes.

"I'm going!" I shouted back. I shoved all the thoughts about Lyla, the riot and tomorrow's trip at the back of my head. The hot water helped me relax my tensed muscles and clear my head. I was able to enjoy the funny movie Grant selected as I munched on the pizza. Demos kept giving me side-glances all through the movie.

***

[To throw away-I fought against his weight fearing he might really crush me. I panted under him, my face flushed from the effort.

"Get off!" I slammed my fists against his solid chest. He chuckled as he pinned me down.

-Actually, it feels nice. So I don't think I'll move.

I almost peed my pants when both of them tickled me. I don't know why they like to see me laughed until I explode. It's terribly embarrassing.

-Liliane, all I want is for you to be happy. This is my sole goal. Your smile is my everything.]

When the credit rolled Demos pulled me on his lap Grant got up to prepare tea. I gave out a cry of surprise and struggled against his solid chest.

"Wh-what do you think you're doing?" I panted in his arms. Demos had that scary expression in his copper eyes. The dead serious one.

"It pains me that I can't come. Remember that all I want is for you to be happy. It's my sole goal. Your smile is my everything," his deep voice melting all my will power. I looked up in awe. My breathing quieted down. My fists slid away from him. Big tears rolled on both sides of my face. His few tiny words shook me to the core. My soul was hungry to hear them. Heavy sob rocked my body. I was in a dark place my mind has been chaos. I've grown accustomed to this mess. Demos gently pushed away.

"Hey!" Grant rushed to my side and tucked me into his arms. I buried my face into his shirt. Demos kneel near us and stroke my back.

"I'm so sorry," I cried.

"Why?" Grant rocked me trying to ease my pain. His eyes flashing aquamarine.

"I-I sorry. I don't know why... I feel like I've been cheating and I can't give you back...I can't love you back as much as you...both love me," I sniffed. "I can't... I'm unable to do it and it kills me," I clung to the front of his shirt. "I'm not worth so much happiness," tears soaked his shirt. Grant sighed.

"We are not asking anything in return. Just... work at your own pace. I'm sad when you're sad. Please stop crying," he kissed my hair.

-I'm sorry that I've triggered this guilt. I didn't do it on purpose. I only wanted to tell you how I feel about you.

"I hate feeling weak and vulnerable around you," I said in a tiny voice. They both took me in their arms. "That thing with my family is getting to me and I'm afraid I won't be able to keep it together," I mumbled. "What if I fall apart? What if I get another episode while I'm far apart and dive back into my void state?" the questions that kept me awake all bubbled up at the same time.

-Grant will be with you. He'll help you relax and I'll be with you for comfort. You don't have anything to fear. Rely on us.

My grip tightened around Grant. What if, I didn't love them enough? What if the attachment I feel towards them, ain't love? What if, I'm lying to myself? Somehow, Lyla's text seeped doubts into my already fragile state. Demos' brushed my cheek with the back of his hand making me shivered.

-Let go of the doubts. Just let us do what we were designed for... to love you without restraint.

My stomach groaned making me jolt away from them. My face flushed with shame.

"Guess all that emotional outburst got you hungry," laughed Grant. "There's more pizza in the oven, want another slice?" they got to their feet and I instantly felt their absence. They both turned in perfect sync with a frown. I rubbed my arms trying to warm myself.

-You're cold?

"I'll go a sweater," I gave Demos a nervous smile and got up. He paused to study me; I could felt his eyes on me as I marched to the room...our room. The bathroom door silently closed behind me shutting out the clicking in the kitchen as Grant opened the oven. I leaned against the door letting out a long sigh. What the hell, just happened? My hands shook from the memory.

-Liliane, are you ok?

"Yes," I whispered then pushed away from the door feeling numb. I needed something to take the edge off. My tired face stared back at me from the mirror above the sink. I yanked the mirror revealing shelves behind in.

-Liliane?

My hand shook as I reached for the orange plastic container with red pills. I had to hold it with both hands to prevent it from spilling its content into the sink. The red label on the side screams out warnings. Loud knock shook the door.

"Liliane, don't take the inhibitor. I'll open the door now," the knob creaked as it turned. Grant appeared behind it. I've already popped the cap opened and ready to throw the red pill in my mouth. Demos stood next to him, creases in between his eyebrows.

"I'm just taking one. I don't want to crumble when I face them," I said in a flat tone. Grant sighed, in two quick steps he was standing beside me. He pulled the pills away and threw it back into the container.

"Inhibitors will dull your perception. It will disrupt the link between us. Moreover, you don't need that. What you need are, a good healthy meal, and peaceful night sleep," he smiled. Grant placed the plastic container back behind the mirror and closed it. "Now, take get that sweater and the pizza is getting cold," he patted my back then left but didn't fully closed the door behind him. Didn't he trust me? I wasn't the suicidal type.

-If you keep on with negative thoughts I'll come deal with you personally, snapped Demos.

God! It was terrible that I couldn't whine in my own mind. I just need a moment to drown myself in self-pity. I was scared I was so freaking scared. I hugged my head and rocked back and forth. The door opened with a bang making me jump. Demos glared at me. His copper eyes flaming.

"Pull yourself together, damn it! Two days ago, before that damn letter arrived, we were ok. We were happy with you opening up to us. Now that you know, your mom is dying all goes to shit! Your past came rushing; all you're thinking about is your pitiful little self. Listen, she was still dying two days ago. Your past was still there...somewhere in the back of your mind two days ago. What changed?" I just stared at him unable to answer his question. He waved his hand at the space between us. I gave him a puzzled look, not getting it.

"Right! You gave it importance! You let it grow and took all your attention. You're focusing on the problems and turn a blind eye to everything else. F.u.c.k.i.n.g wake up," he grabbed me by the arms and shook me. I gasped at his reaction. His violence scared me. I struggled to get free. To run away from this scary machine.

-I want you to fight this! Fight it! Don't let the fear drown you. Fear grows when you give it attention. Liliane, don't listen to that voice telling you I'm the enemy. All I want is to help you get stronger.