CH 41

Not unlike a student pressing his teacher to tell him the story of her first love, Lewicia's gaze was full of curiosity. Coco laughed at him from one side of the drawing room, but he stubbornly ignored her and kept his eyes on Yulia.

Yulia tilted her head to one side, and asked.

"Your Highness, do you want to talk about Vasily?"

"What? Why are you mentioning him all of a sudden? I am just asking you what you think the definition of 'first love' is."

"I mentioned him because he's my first love."

"Don't say that. I don't know about anyone else, but it's a bit strange that you would think that way."

Lewicia shook his head in disgust. Yulia asked again, not understanding what he wanted to say.

"What's strange about it?"

"You should deny that it was love, and curse that bastard for deceiving you. That it wasn't real love, that it was an illusion. That's what you should be thinking."

"Why should I?"

"First love usually remains as a beautiful memory. But you..."

Yulia, who finally realized what he wanted to say, put the books she was holding on the bookshelf one by one, and said.

"I don't think so. For me, first love is like a nightmare that you usually have when you are immature. It's not something mysterious like a unicorn or a demon with wings, but a shameful mistake you want to hide. Although for some lucky people, it might be just like passing by a tent bar."

Lewicia opened his mouth involuntarily.

“I knew you were a cynical person, but I didn’t know you were so negative about love... No, it's because of that bastard Vasily, so it's only natural."

"But really, why are you asking such a thing? Your Highness, do you have someone you like?"

After Yulia finished organizing the books, she approached Lewicia and asked. He avoided her eyes that were staring straight at him.

"No, I'm just... curious."

Why is someone taking successor classes suddenly curious about first love? Yulia was puzzled, but tried to answer his question like a diligent teacher.

"This is what I think. Since human beings are always bound by the past, they wrap up their memories in nice packaging one after another because they want to remember the fleeting moment of first love in a beautiful way."

"Oh... I see."

Lewicia nodded his head while saying that he understood.

"Your Highness, you worked hard studying until late today again."

"You did a good job too."

After class, Lewicia stood up, and stretched out his arm while massaging his shoulder. While doing so, his mind was filled with thoughts of Yulia.

First love. Just saying these two words made him feel ticklish. At least, Lewicia thought so.

Although he also belonged to those who had a realistic and pessimistic mindset, he believed that he wouldn't be able to look at his first love, which happens only once in life, from a rational perspective.

However, when he thought of Yulia's case, he couldn't possibly say that he was right.

She met a rare egoist named Vasily, and in the tent bar where others treasure the memory of their first love, they became lovers-turned-killers as they aimed a knife at each other's hearts.

So, longing turned into vengeance, excitement into hatred, and sadness into madness.

"I will go back to my room now."

Yulia bowed politely, and left the room first. Lewicia ended the day by telling her to get some rest.

Coco called out to him as if she had been waiting.

"Your Highness."

When he wondered why she didn't go back to her room as soon as class ended like usual, he understood that she had something to tell him.

"What, what do you want?"

Lewicia, who knew exactly what kind of reproach she was going to make, wanted to quickly run away from this situation.

Coco threw a cold blow at him as he awkwardly moved towards the door.

"I don't know about anything else, but have an ordinary love."

"Uh?"

"Since you were born as the son of a king and have to live as a member of the royal family, you are bound to live a life that's completely different from everyone else. But, Your Highness, have an ordinary love. This is my sincere advice."

"Why are you saying this to me?"

"When Your Highness is ready to love, I want you to choose someone who has enough room in their heart to hold even a little bit of it."

'Not someone who will disappear like foam after leaving a hole in your heart.'

After hearing Coco's muttering, Lewicia tried to refute her concerns.

"Coco, no."

"I know you don't like this kind of talk, but think of His Majesty the King and your mother. You know why they couldn’t let go of each other even after making such a tragic choice."

He knows. No one else knows, but Lewicia knows. As a child, his world was filled with only his mother.

"A king is someone who shouldn't love, is that what you're trying to say?"

"No. But, people say that nothing remains of two people who come together when they don't have the leisure to love."

There are always people whose hearts are empty.

Such people always struggle with loneliness even if they love someone or are loved by someone. That's why after obsessing over and tormenting each other, both parties are left unhappy in the end.

Lewicia, who was about to go outside, sat back in his seat. Avoiding Coco's gaze, he asked while staring at the chair Yulia sat on earlier.

"Are you saying that Yulia is an empty person, so I shouldn't give my heart to her? Since she's a clever and useful maid, are you saying that I should use her in the fight for the throne, but not give her affection?"

Coco firmly denied it.

"No."

"Then?"

"Just like her, Your Highness is also empty, so I was advising you to be careful. Stop before curiosity turns into interest, interest into love, and love into obsession."

Lewicia's pupils widened greatly. He asked with a slightly dazed face, as if he hadn't expected such words to come out of Coco's mouth.

"Am I that kind of person?"

"Your Highness's mother's abnormal longing for love, and the King's twisted obsession with affection, your Highness inherited both.”

"It makes me into a bad guy."

"I’m telling you to get yourself together before that happens. If you feel offended, swear at me in the same way. You can tell me that I am crazy, a beggar, or a dog. Anything is fine."

"How could I do that?"

Lewicia laughed despondently, and murmured.

"Coco, no. I understand what you're worried about... but, it's not something grandiose like love. I would have to be crazy to want to mess with a maid of honor who works in my palace, especially someone who lives such a hard life."

"I’m relieved then."

"It's just that I'm intrigued. It's my first time seeing someone like Yulia. The only women I know are my mother and Cordelia Hinch."

'A sad woman, and a scary woman.'

Coco crumpled her face in annoyance. Lewicia laughed brightly as he watched her expression.

"You already know. I've never been in love with someone. I don't even know what love is supposed to feel like. Yulia is intriguing, and she makes me feel worried, but people in the world don't call that 'love'."

"You don’t have to make excuses. I'm going to stop nagging now."

"Coco."

"Go to sleep, Your Highness."

"My first love will definitely be a tragedy, stupid and stubborn, full of foolish passion and lies."

"What are you..."

"At that time, if I'm hurt and weeping like a child, come and slap me on the face."

"That's lese-majesty."

"I will grant you pardon."

Lewicia shrugged his shoulders, and put on a smirk. He looked no different from usual.

But in Coco's eyes, his behavior looked like an adolescent boy trying to look mature.

First love.

Coco didn't think Yulia was wrong. If you are mercilessly betrayed by someone you loved, it is only natural to become this pessimistic.

But there were also cases where it was the opposite.

Some people cherish their first love forever. Let alone confessing, they are unable to look at them properly, and bury that love in their heart until death while longing for them for a long, long time.

In the end, they are left unable to love anyone else ever again.

'I hope Lewicia doesn't do that', Coco muttered to his back as he turned around.

*****

8. Don't forget me

After she nagged Lewicia to put an end to his useless delusions and get some sleep, Coco went back to her room.

"Are you finally back, my Lady?"

When Coco arrived, her exclusive maids were diligently making her bed. The maids, who brought out pretty pajamas, slippers and cosmetics, helped her take off her dress.

"The Count has left a message saying that if you are not busy, it would be nice if you could go to the mansion."

"Father did? Why?"

"It's your birthday tomorrow."

"I am not even a child. I've lived the past ten years forgetting about my birthday."

Coco said with a baffled expression.

"Did he say he was throwing a party? That's what little kids do. I am too old to run to my father on the day of my birthday."

The maids burst into laughter.

"It is because you are the Count's most precious only daughter. Since my Lady doesn't go to the mansion often, the Count drinks more often, and the maids..."

"Silence. Don't do anything stupid, and keep your mouths shut."

When Coco spoke firmly, the maids nodded helplessly. Since a new maid of honor has also entered the palace, it would be nice to celebrate her birthday in a small way, but Coco stopped them from speaking any further and said that she hated such things.

"Ah, by the way! Lady Yulia visited earlier. She said to keep it a secret, but I thought it would be better to tell you."

"What about Yulia?"

"She left this."

A maid came up to Coco, who had changed into pajamas, and held out a small box.