CH 31

Somehow more than 4 months, nearly 5 months have passed since I left Carruzan. The carriage on the way back took longer than expected because it was not possible to constantly change horses at the station houses. Well, it would be difficult to travel long distances in the time of this civilization regardless. The usual travel method of the royal family, changing horses at every station and running at full-tilt constantly, is out of the norm.

I can only sigh while looking at the castle walls of Carruzan in the distance. Before I left, I haven’t been able to meet Louisa since I fought the mad horned bear. I can’t show my face to her face anymore. If I had been able to stay after that incident, we might have met up and talked it out, but it would be just an excuse to show my face to her now. Would she even come now after all this time?

…… I’m inexperienced. It’s over now. I can’t help but think about it now. Katharina, Louisa, Claudia… why am I still having so much trouble?

I was born a girl in this life, so all I want to do is have fun with my female friends. It’s not like I have a high hurdle to want lesbian sexual contact alongside the yuri things.

No… of course, if I can do it, I’d like to do it… I don’t think there are many girls like that, and even if they were, she wouldn’t necessarily get along with me. To begin with, if I publicly professed my homosexuality in this world, I might be tortured and executed by my persecutors.

That’s why I just want to have fun with girls and enjoy a little physical contact. If possible, I would like to do yuri things too, but in the first place, I and the rest of my peers are still too young. At the very least, yuri things should be when we’re a little more grown up.

In that sense, Claudia seemed a little like a yuri flower. No, I thought so and touched her poorly, so she must have gotten angry, but there was an atmosphere that made me think so. Though it’s a little much, I think that if something was different, there might have been a different future for us. This is also part of my inexperience…

The ramparts of Carruzan are gradually approaching, they draw a contrast between the blue sky above and the ramparts below. As we got closer, the castle walls grew larger and just as the gray filled my vision, my heart seemed to become gray and cloudy as well.

A few months after returning to Carruzan, and in about 3 more months more, I will make my social debut. In this country, you’d make your social debut at the age of 10. However, this is a bad way to phrase it, it’s more like I’ll be introduced to the local lords in our territory, rather similar to the local preliminary league of a sports tournament that involves only municipalities and their neighboring villages and townships.

To put it in an easy way for Japanese people to imagine, in a major sporting tournament there will be local preliminary league qualifiers first. Whoever wins there goes to the regional league qualifiers with the other teams who have won in their regions. If they win at the regional level, they will advance to the prefecture league qualifiers. And if you win at the prefecture level, they’ll go on to represent their prefecture in the national league.

In the case of a social debut, there is no winning or losing, so success here doesn’t mean going to a higher level of competition, but in terms of my public image, it’s going to be something like that.

Debuting in the social world at the age of 10 is, so to speak, a social debut at the local preliminary league. For me, it’s where all the nobles under the Margraviate of Carruthers will gather together. However, when it comes to the scale of House Carruthers and its similarly ranked Houses, there are many aristocratic families in their territories, so they are further divided still into smaller sub-regions. There are many places like that in large aristocratic territories and their nobles.

On the other hand, if you are a small aristocrat, there are almost no people who make their social debut on their own, so there are cases where they form a social gathering together with neighboring families. They are the very first people they’ll debut to when they reach 10 years old.

And those who are accustomed to such local social circles will debut in higher-level, broader social circles. After the local level comes the regional level. These are when the children of major houses in neighboring territories gather, and the lesser nobles who became more influential among their peers gradually moved up to rub elbows with the major houses.

Finally, the children of even more influential noble families will advance to the center of aristocratic society. They will go out to the social circles inhabited by the most influential aristocrats and the royal family, those who have a hold of the royal capital. That is, so to speak, at the prefectural level of a sporting tournament.

What about the national level? Speaking of which, it will be an even higher class, a place where you can meet influential people from other countries. Only a handful can go that far, so it doesn’t matter to me. In the central political world, unless you are a very big noble house or the family of a major bureaucrat, you rarely meet foreigners. If you get close to nobles from other countries on your own, security and diplomatic issues will come up.

Of course, depending on the country, there are countries and regions that encourage aristocrats to take diplomacy independent of the central authority, and there are countries like the Kingdom of Ploiss that prohibits it. It depends on the era, region, and country, but at least in Ploiss, nobles are prohibited from independently interacting with nobles from other countries.

The Knights of House Caan is just me, a humble aristocrat, and House Carruthers has a vast territory, but we have little connection with the center of politics. After all, my family is just made up of border guards. If it’s Father we’re talking about, when there’s a conflict with a neighboring country, I’m sure there will be times when he’ll meet aristocrats from another country at some neutral ground outside the battle lines, but I won’t be called to such a place to join him… or at least, that’s how it’s supposed to happen. Maybe not?

By the way, the aristocrats in the Margraviate of Carruthers are not direct vassals of the royal family, but vassals of the Margraviate, even though they were originally given their titles by the royal family. This direct vassal of royalty and vassal of normal aristocracy also have slight differences in their overall status, so it’s pretty troublesome to understand.

Since House Caan is considered a direct vassal of the royal family, the ones who can give orders to Floto von Caan are those in the royal chain of command. In other words, the king has authority over me, and in practice, the person entrusted to act with the king’s authority such as a supreme commander orders the royal vassals instead. Instructions will come down in order from the Division Commander (such as Holst), the Knight-Captains, and then the unit leaders.

Compared to that, if you are the vassal of an aristocrat, even if you have been granted your peerage by the royal family or the king, you cannot suddenly give direct instructions to your subordinates. If you are a knight who serves House Carruthers, Margrave Carruthers will hand you down your orders.

Of course, when armies of feudal lords were organized during times of war, the person who commanded the armies of feudal lords was appointed by the king, so they were still indirectly instructed by royalty.

And as far as their status is concerned, roughly speaking in this country, an aristocratic vassal’s status is one level lower than a direct royal vassal’s status. Since I am a knight who is a direct vassal of the royal family, I will be treated at the same level as a baron who serves as a vassal to Margrave Carruthers.

“Miss Flora, how about this?” Isabelle asked.

“Mnn… it’s a little too tight,” I said.

And while I was pondering all that in my head, I grabbed the hem of the dress that I had put on and started wavering before the mirror. I am currently preparing for my social debut. Children my age grow up quickly, so I have Isabella help me put on a newly made dress.

“If you keep it tight like this, your body line will look beautiful, you know,” Isabella said.

No, no, Isabella… what are you saying to a child who is about ten years old? Even though my chest hasn’t developed yet, I probably don’t even have a body line or any crap like that, right…?

In the late Middle Ages and early modern times, what we now call corsets became popular in Europe. It is said that women at that time had their ribs deformed as they tightened their waists, stomachs, and chests in order to create a body line that constricted the upper body with a corset contrasting with a voluminous skirt beneath.

There are often depictions of noble ladies fainting. Is it so easy to faint in modern times? Have you ever wondered about that? It seems that the ladies of the time would have fainted at the slightest incident because their lungs were abnormally tightened by the corset. Also, it seems that there was also a promise to pretend to faint and indulge in an affair while being taken care of by another man.

In any case, at that time, it might have been done in order to make the aristocrat’s flabbier bodies look as beautiful as possible, but at our age, it shouldn’t matter that much. It is bad for both physical development and your health in general.

“Isabella… I have a child’s body, right?” I said. “You say my body line would look beautiful, but there’s no such thing to see…”

“Well, fair enough…” Isabella said. “If you say so, Miss Flora, let’s loosen it up a little.”

She still seemed to want to say something, but she seems to have given up. It’s terrifying to think that I’ll faint or deform my ribs if you tighten them too much.

It’s scary to wear a corset so tightly that it deforms your ribs, but I don’t dislike wearing a dress. No, I rather like it. No no, I rather love to dress up pretty and femininely.

Will people think it weird because I’m a man inside? But I like to look cute and pretty. Originally, in my previous life, I loved seeing girls’ cute appearances, but in this life, I’m a girl and it’s okay for me to dress like that. Regardless of whether I’m cute or not, it’s nice to have a girl dressed up in cute outfits.

“Waiting…….……now, Miss…… Flo…… changing her dress……”

As I was thinking about such things, I heard an irritating voice from outside. Helmut, who was waiting outside the room, seems to be talking to someone.

“That can’t…. understood. …… let you in……”

Just when I thought they were arguing about something, the door suddenly opened. If someone suddenly barges into my room while I’m changing my clothes, there’s only my family members in this house. If someone other than my family could break in while I was changing clothes, it would be the royal family or a special envoy from the royal family. No such person is coming now, so by process of elimination, there can only be my family.

“Flora, His Majesty has ordered you to attend your next social event as Floto von Caan, not as Flora Charlotte von Carruthers,” Father said. “You have been expressly forbidden to wear clothes prepared by our family. Please prepare clothes on your own with your knight’s pension.”

“………… Huh?”

While trying on cute dresses in front of the full-length mirror in preparation for my social debut, I must be looking at my father with a dumb face.

“Oh, you mean that I should dress like a man?” I asked.

I refuse! I thought I could make my dream debut in society wearing a cute dress! I definitely don’t want to dress up as a man again, going as Sir Floto!

In the first place, I’ve never had a good time disguising myself as a man and pretending to be a man named Floto. In the case of Louisa and Claudia both, didn’t I ultimately fall out with them both of them because I was disguised as a man and called myself Floto? It might be different, but if I had stayed as Flora, the result might have been the same, but I can’t help but think that.

“I’m not saying that you should dress like a man in full knight’s attire,” Father said. “You can wear a dress. However, I was told that all clothing, vehicles, servants, and such provided by House Carruthers are prohibited. You must prepare something that you can afford with the pension you received as the head of House Caan.”

A-All clothing, vehicles, and servants prohibited! A pension for a knightly household is a pittance! I’m only paid for enough to live on, plus a bit leftover. That’s why it’s impossible to prepare a decent dress with that budget. 1

To begin with, children of knight families without hereditary rights do not even debut in society. This is because it is not guaranteed that the children will inherit their parent’s title and become nobles, even if they enter the social world to create connections with other families. Even if a knighthood was without hereditary rights, the heir can be knighted again due to the king’s favor, but again, that is not guaranteed.

That’s why the pension of a knight’s House doesn’t include social expenses. Past living expenses, knights without hereditary rights do not need to hold social events nor participate in them, so there is no allowance for it. And I’m a knight without hereditary rights, so I don’t have any social expenses. Even if don’t need living expenses because I live at my parent’s home, a knight’s pension is insignificant and not enough to cover the costs of participating in social events.

The King’s orders? Does he mean His Majesty, Wilhelm von Ploiss? Why does that king always do things that make me suffer and get in trouble? Is it because he’s against my engagement to Ludwig, after all? Is he trying to humiliate me in public society and tell me that I’m unfit to be Ludwig’s fiancée?

Then that’s fine. I don’t really want to marry Ludwig, and my father is probably against my engagement… maybe. Probably?

But that’s why he doesn’t have to harass me in this way, right? Since he’s the king, he can use force or whatever powers of his to annul my engagement with Ludwig…

No… wait…? Just as I want to break off my engagement with Ludwig without any fault on my part, what if the King wants to break off my engagement in a bad way without any fault on his side? If I falter in my social debut, I’ll prove I’m not suitable for Ludwig, and I will take responsibility for it and have to break off the engagement on my family’s end.

“And also… the income from the business that you’ve been running is yours, Flora,” Father said. “As long as the initial loaned funds are fully repaid, you can do whatever you please with the rest.”

“Oh……!”

Hearing what my father said, I almost called him “Daddy!”. That’s risky, don’t do that. This father will get angry if I call him so casually.

“Thank you, Father!”

“… I haven’t done anything. It’s a business you’ve started, Flora,” Father said. “Just make sure you don’t fall behind on your monthly repayments.”

“Yes!” I cried.

Hooray! The farm itself has no income because we eat the products ourselves, but recently the farm has been gradually selling beet sugar to a trading firm. In this era when sugar is a precious commodity, wholesale beet sugar should make a considerable amount of money, so if it’s just for social expenses, it should be manageable.

At one point, I wondered what I was going to do, but I patted my chest in relief, thinking that it would be possible somehow thanks to my father’s arrangements.