CH 98

Trigger Warning: Brief mention of suicide from bullying.

A few days after the practical magic class, the face of the frail boy who looked like he was about to cry was still flickering in my head.

Of course, it doesn’t mean that I’ve fallen in love with him or that I’m interested in him romantically. My heart will always be a man’s, so it’s impossible for me to fall in love with a man or see them romantically. Instead, I wondered if that timid-looking kid had been thinking about almost hitting me with a spell all this time.

I’m sure he has been thinking about it, from his pale face since then and his timid demeanor. I think it would be a pity if he quit magic because of that. Everyone makes mistakes, and even I made a lot of mistakes when I started learning magic. Sometimes I put too much magical power into a spell and it went out of control, exploded, and self-destructed more than once or twice.

I’ve been studying and researching magic for over 10 years, but contrary to expectations, there are still many things I don’t understand. The development of buff magic has not gone smoothly, and failures continue still. Of course, it’s better than the old buff magic, but it’s far from what I want.

Even that boy should be able to use normal spells if he works hard. Even if he doesn’t have the slightest talent for magic, he could be an average wizard. It would be too pitiful if that accident caused him to give up magic because of the trauma.

That’s why I went to Class 2’s room after school today. When I looked inside, there were still some students left behind. Just like the other students still in their classes, they kill time by having their servants pick them up late to avoid the rush to go home.

I look around the classroom to see if the person I’m looking for is among them… there he is! He was the feeble boy then. It seems that he is self-studying to pass the time. He lays out his textbook and is reading it intently. Moreover, that textbook is the reference for magic classes…

Ah… I wonder if he’s worried about the accident then… or maybe he was originally a kid who wanted to become a wizard.

Nevertheless, it would be a pity if he had to give up on his dream because of that accident. That boy’s talent for magic may be inferior to Louisa’s, but that doesn’t mean he can just give up on his dreams and not become a wizard. Everyone has the right to chase their dreams. It doesn’t matter if you can reach them or not in the end…

Is there some way to call or talk to just that boy? If I, the bullied student, talk to him, he might get bullied as well. In particular, he seems to be an easy target because he seems quite timid. I wouldn’t mind being harassed by 15-year-old girls, but a weak-hearted child like him might end up committing suicide from it.

As I was thinking about that, he put away his textbook and stood up. Oh? Oh? Is he going home? It’s easier to talk to him if he comes out into the hallway alone. As I had expected, the boy who had put his things back into his bag stood up and came out into the hallway by himself. I secretly follow and call out in a place where no one can see.

“Excuse me. Is now a good time?”

“Huh? Yes? … Ah!”

At first, the boy responded normally then looked surprised when he turned to me. The fact that he can recognize my face immediately must be because he’s worried about almost hurting me, after all.

“I won’t be taking much time of your time, so can I talk to you for a bit? Preferably somewhere private…”

“…… Yes,” the boy said with a bizarrely grim voice as he hung his head.

He’s still bothered, after all. Anyway, it would be troublesome if someone saw me, so I took the boy and moved us to a place where no one could see us.

When I was with Claudia, I made a mistake by just going to the back of the school building, and this time I paid close attention to prevent that from happening again. I had already confirmed that no one had seen us, and I locked the door in an empty classroom. Unless you speak very loudly, others won’t be able to hear the contents of the conversation from the outside.

“I’m sorry! I tried to kill you!” the boy yelled. “I’m sorry! I know you can’t forgive me because I’m apologizing! But it’s the only thing I can do! I’m sorry!”

“Huh? Hey, hey, please calm down a little. It’s exaggerated to say you tried to kill me,” I said.

I was shocked to see him apologizing before I even said anything. For him to claim that he tried to kill me means he must be quite dramatic. Was that why he was so worried? That kind of magic can’t even kill a baby. There’s a chance that the fire will ignite the rest of you and you’ll die from the complications of serious burns, but it wasn’t much of a spell once the fire was extinguished.

“It’s not an exaggeration!” he yelled. “Even if you survived, if an unmarried lady’s face is burned, it’s the same as killing her!”

Ah~…that’s right… if you have such an ugly flaw, you will not be able to have a decent marriage anymore. That is synonymous with losing you purpose as a noble daughter. To put it in extreme terms, a noble daughter is nothing more than a pawn for a political marriage, for the Head of the House to make favorable connections with other Houses.

Of course, nobles are also parents. They do want their child to be happy. However, the value of happiness is quite different compared to modern Japan. Some people from modern Japan would say these noble ladies are abused or discriminated against. Even so, the happiness of a noble daughter in this world is to marry someone from a good family. It is believed that this will benefit the family as well as the person’s happiness.

Marrying into a good family means that you can live a wealthy life. You don’t have to live in poverty and starve. It can certainly be one of the criteria for happiness.

In modern Japan, if the persons themselves feel happy and pursue the marriage themselves, it will be considered unnecessary help for their parents to decide on their marriage without their input. However, in different countries and times, there are places and eras where everyone thinks that is what makes someone happy. It’s the same with this country. Most aristocrats believe that making good marriages will bring happiness to their children.

What should I do to have a better marriage in such a country and times? If you want to succeed in a marriage proposal with a House higher than your own, you have to have something to contribute. For example, having some ability or being good-looking.

Ability doesn’t mean being able to study or do housework. A noble daughter doesn’t need to be able to study well. Even if you can’t study or don’t know things, you should hire someone who can do them. The same goes for housework. It is a story that can be done by hiring a maid who can do housework, and a noble daughter is not evaluated based on whether or not she has such ability.

Then, what is the greatest ability required of a daughter of an aristocrat? It’s the ability to communicate. Gather the wives of influential aristocrats in the area and hold tea parties. Whether or not you can gather the other ladies depends on your ability. Even in a low-ranking family, if the person herself has good communication skills, she will be liked by high-ranking wives and will be in demand at tea parties.

Conversely, no matter how high-ranking the House is, for example, people who are too high-handed or who are too much of lazy to be given orders will be avoided. Of course, on the surface, you wouldn’t go against a family higher than yours, but it’s only natural that such a person wouldn’t be invited to a tea party involving close friends.

Such communication skills, personal connections, and networks between wives are the skills required of noble daughters. Appearance, capacity, and reputation are naturally involved as one in those abilities. No matter how good a person is on the inside, if their appearance is bad, it will spoil the first impression of her, and in the first place, there will be cases where it will be impossible to proceed from there.

Of course, there are people who can get along well with others no matter how bad their appearance is, and there are people who don’t have discrimination or prejudice for that reason. But it definitely comes at a great disadvantage.

If it was a girl with a giant burn on my face……, it would be almost impossible to expect a marriage proposal with a higher House than my own. It’s a relationship where the other party has to compromise because of appearance. In other words, the potential marriage partner’s House is inferior, and even if the House with the burned lady compromises and puts up with it, they can only hope for a marriage that benefits them as a family, not the daughter’s happiness.

And even if you can get married, it will be difficult to get along with the other wives around you. As I said earlier, you may be discriminated against or prejudiced because of your appearance.

It’s not a mistake to say that in such a situation, a noble daughter is good as dead. If you’re talking about a terrible parent, they might disown the child and abandon them, or lock them away to prevent them from seeing the outside world ever again. 1 If you think about it that way, it makes sense that this boy is so deeply traumatized.

“I understand your pain,” I said. “But I’m fine. You don’t have to worry anymore… though, you can’t seem to sort out your feelings even if I say that to your face, can you?”

“Huh? Ah? Um…?”

The boy raised his face at my words and had an expression like he didn’t know what to do now.

“So let’s do this,” I said. “You’re not good at magic, so why don’t you train with me until you’re confident in your spellcasting? From now on, we’ll stay late on a convenient day and practice magic at the training ground! How about it?”

“Ah……” the boy said, his face now bright red and his eyes tearing up. 2

All right. With this, the boy’s trauma should have been relieved a little. After that, I will practice magic together with this boy.

Yes, I made this proposal, and it’s not just for this boy’s benefit. This is for me, too. I can’t do the magic taught at school. For some reason, the magic I learned before and the magic taught here seem to be different things. I ignored the chanting of the magic class and didn’t take any notes, but it seems like I’m useless. If I want to get good grades from now on, I need to remember this school-style magic as well.

Along with this boy’s special training in magic, I’ll also teach him my school of magic. If I do that, I might be able to use chanting, as well. In order not to embarrass House Carruthers, I also have to get good grades…

While getting rid of his trauma without giving up on his childhood dream, I’ll also learn chanting magic, as the school demands. Kill two birds with one stone! What’s more, it’s a wonderful plan that I, who don’t have any decent friends at school, might be able to get a male friend, so I can aim for three birds with one stone!

“Oh, that’s right,” I said. “My name is Flora Charlotte von Carruthers. You would be?”

“I-I am… Simon von Roppe…” he says.

Hmm? Roppe? Yes, I know that House.

“My! Are you the son of Marquis Roppe?” I said.

“Huh? Do you know who we are?” Simon said.

“Of course, I know your family,” I said. “You have a territory in the northwest region and it’s relatively close to Carruthers’ domain, isn’t it?”

Even I have some memory of the neighboring nobles. Marquis Roppe’s territory is small, and even though it’s in the northwest direction, it doesn’t even touch the border, it’s inland. Still, I know because I have various relationships with my neighbors. To begin with, it wouldn’t be strange to see each other at a social gathering place in the region, or rather, my brothers should have met them at a social gathering place before.

For some reason, I wasn’t invited to many social gatherings, so I’ve never met anyone from House Roppe. No, we may have met each other somewhere, but we never gave their names to each other, so I can’t put faces to their names. I should have been able to meet them if I went to a social gathering place where influential people in the area gather, not the local social events.

“Y-You seem to know us well…” Simon said. “Well, we are famous in a sense, aren’t we?”

“Huh?” I said.

After Simon’s face brightened up for a moment, he returned to gloominess. He really is prone to despair or cynicism…

“Because the Marquisate of Roppe is a weak and poor noble whose territory is small, so we’re quite famous, right?” Simon said.

“Oh my! Was there such a rumor?” I asked.

I don’t remember going to social gatherings, and even when I go there, I’m often criticized for being just a knight, and I’ve never been treated properly. The only thing I knew about the surrounding aristocrats was from objective information, and I didn’t get much of that kind of subjective information.

“That’s right,” Simon said. “You knew that as well, don’t you, Lady Carruthers?”

“Ah, just Flora is fine for me, Lord Simon,” I said. “The House Roppe I know is a good noble family who lowers the tax rate on their citizens and runs a clinic even if it costs their own money to get their people what they need. I have no ear for such idle gossip.”

Yes, according to the information I know about House Roppe, when the poor harvest was about to lead to famine, the surrounding aristocrats tightened tax collections, causing a famine in which many people starved to death. By lowering the tax rate on the citizens and leaving food in each household, the number of deaths by starvation was considerably reduced compared to the surrounding areas, and it was a minor disaster that could not be called a famine. In addition, I heard that the marquisate invested their own money to build and maintain a clinic in the territory where even commoners can receive medical treatment.

It is true that the territory is small. It’s quite small for a title like “marquisate.” If you say they are poor, you may be right. From the point of view of other aristocrats who are doing their best with the taxes they collect from their citizens, they must be living a rather simple life. However, the support from the people who are saved thanks to their actions is overwhelmingly high. No matter what happens, the people living in the Roppe Marquisate will never rebel against their Lord or his family.

“Uu! Uuu…!” Simon whimpers, collapsing and crying.

“Huh? What happened?” I asked.

I don’t understand it at all. Did I say something wrong?

“Father… Father said that even if no one else understands, we should not lose the pride of House Roppe…” Simon said. “We should live according to our family name and legacy… I couldn’t believe it. But now… but now, in this way, I understand that they are other people who do know who House Roppe is… I finally understand now!”

Simon collapsed and continued to cry while holding my hand. I don’t quite understand what Simon is saying. I just couldn’t shake off Simon’s hand here. Until Simon stopped crying while holding my right hand, I stroked his head with my left hand, comforting him.