CH 117

[ I wish mother was still alive. ]

I remembered little Evan’s diary.

[ So. I want to grow up normally. ]

I knew that feeling better than anyone else because I didn’t grow up normally.

“My childhood is nothing much. Thinking if mother was alive every day.”

“Would your life have changed a lot if Lady Matilda had been alive?”

“…Perhaps it was.”

When I first met Evan, I couldn’t stand it and said congratulations to him, who hadn’t heard congratulations from anyone. The last time was just the same… I wanted to give him a normal and flawless childhood.

If only Matilda was alive, all the unfortunate things that happened to him would disappear. He wouldn’t be sent to the academy at a young age, and he would be able to communicate with anyone so he wouldn’t be laughed at by a guy like Lord Gerdy.

If he saw people in blue uniforms, there would be no trauma that would make his body harden because he had been abused by Ludva.

…Above all, the personality that wouldn’t admit that he likes something and locked himself into indifference would disappear. He would be able to like someone more healthily and honestly.

Duke Icard would not suffer from being swayed by a pathetic spy like Rosalind, who was openly targeting his weakness.

“…If I can go back from the beginning, I want to be a very good father to Evan.”

He said he wanted to be a good father, and he would be able to make that wish come true. There would be no need to turn on the lights in the office every day, coveting power that did not suit his aptitude.

“Considering what those mean things did to Matilda! I still can’t sleep!”

Lady Olivia wouldn’t have to regret thinking of Lady Matilda anymore.

‘…So, if only Lady Matilda comes back alive.’

I decided to support Duke Icard’s long-cherished wish while the original work was changed. That was the decision for my family that I chose alone.

“Miss Laria, really? You mean right now, right? It really is too sudden.”

It didn’t matter if I was feeling highly emotional right now because of the fairy’s breath. I felt like I was being rewarded for my choice just because Duke Icard said he would ‘save me.’ It was because I felt that he really cared about me, not letting me be discarded anyway.

‘But, when tomorrow comes and when the fairy’s breath and the truth drug loses their effect…’

It was possible to find reason again and wait for my death, just like I might not make this decision if I had found my reason again.

“We have to go. Everything will be revealed tomorrow morning.”

When a new doctor arrived, my health would be exposed. No, even if it was not…

If the order Morand heard today was known, my hidden cleverness would be revealed tomorrow. Both Evan and Lisa had already noticed that I was different from usual today. If so, the smoke so far would be immediately exposed.

It was obvious that they would ask me a mountain of questions after they had obeyed my orders. Nevertheless, I made a choice for Duchy Icard. I was prepared for them to find out that I was not the naive and kind Laria they’d known all along.

“Tomorrow morning…?”

“Yes. So, Serena, you need to hide right now, then slowly come to Baron Ravonis’ place. I will be there.”

“How?”

“With the movement scroll, go right now. The reason I can’t take you is because I have a request.”

“Please say it. Anything.”

“Have one of your guild members write a memo and deliver it to Duke Icard’s residence around dawn tomorrow.”

After hearing the contents of the memo, Serena gazed at me with a slight frown and nodded.

…Tomorrow, everyone would know that I wasn’t the weak and kind Laria they knew all along. Rather, they would notice that I was a clever kid who could see ahead. And that was why I didn’t have the confidence to tell them everything and be by their side.

Because Laria, whom they cared for and loved, wasn’t my true self…

“First of all, I am not the kind of person Sir Seymour knows. Since you like fictional people, I recommend that you keep your heart to yourself.”

The Laria they liked was not me. Like Seymour, they liked my disguise—a warm look image of Lady Matilda.

‘It’s true that I’ve been fooling everyone…’

So, it was good for everyone just to turn back time. Of course, if Lady Matilda were alive, I wouldn’t be the daughter-in-law of Duchy Icard because I was terminally ill.

‘But still… I will live well somehow. I’m smart, and I even know quite a bit about the future.’

In fact, I didn’t know if I would be able to remember this life with them when time went back. However, it seemed that if Evan and Duke Icard could start a happy life again, that was enough.

‘Still, I can’t really die… I’ll just have to go missing quietly.’

If I locked myself in Baron Ravonis’ mansion as planned, I would be treated as missing.

The conclusion would be the same.

Originally, I had decided to run away to avoid dying at the hands of Duke Icard, but now I decided to disappear to fulfill his will. If I were gone, Evan and Elanie would be able to get married safely. And after living and spending money at Baron Rabvnis’ house, one day, time would suddenly turn back.

‘After that, I don’t know…’

Even if I made an impulsive decision because of the fairy’s breath, I couldn’t help it. It had already happened.

After I said one more request to Serena, I tore off a part of the movement scroll I always carried with me, thinking of Baron Ravonis’ residence.

‘Ah.‘

I was slightly dizzy, and when I opened my eyes again, I was at Baron Rabonis’ residence. That was how I really ran away with the plan I made from the time I possessed this place.

* * *

Evan took the carriage to the Duke’s residence after midnight. He, like Calaudin, was weak from alcohol. Still, he was about to return after enduring all his mental strength. It was because Laria said that she would somehow ease the Emperor’s mood.

Originally, it was obvious that she would have just returned, thinking, ‘It’s okay to get out of touch with the Imperial Family.’ In particular, Laria would just go to the Duke’s residence while saying that her ankle hurt, she wouldn’t stay in the banquet hall.

However, as he judged on his own, Laria’s last words stuck in his mind… No, not her words themselves though all the vibes she gives off.

He hadn’t forgotten a single one of the memories about her, but it was so different that he would never forget it for the rest of his life.

“Evan.”

The red dress he always thought was pretty. On their first outing together at a horse race, everyone said they looked good together…

Since then, he had never worn another cravat other than red. If he used a red cravat every day, Laria would wear a red dress one day. Then, it seemed that others would regard them as a well-matched pair, just like that day.

“Thank you.”

She stared at him, as radiant as her first impression in front of the academy gate. In the middle of the dreamlike banquet hall of the Imperial Palace, among countless people, she greeted him.

“For all this time.”

It was nonsense, but it was really nonsense… It was like saying goodbye.

“Take care.”

That strange feeling at that time kept haunting him. Evan, Calaudin, and Olivia in the carriage were all drunk.

“I sent Laria first. There is only trouble left for Icard, but she has nothing to do with it. How restless that good child must be.”

“Thank you, great-aunt.”

From the moment Olivia said she sent Laria, he missed her.

‘…Perhaps Laria is already sleeping.’

As he kept thinking about the words that she was thankful for all this time, he became impatient.

If he saw Laria tomorrow morning, he would definitely tell he to never say anything like that in the future. Thank you for all this time, sorry, it was fine, and there was no need for her to say that because they have so many days to live together…

Evan had hardly slept last night, so it was only after he fell asleep for a while that the carriage arrived at the Duke’s residence. Calaudin, who almost collapsed, stumbled and got off first.

“Morande.”

Morande, who had been waiting impatiently, quickly helped him.

“I’m going to the office.”

“…You’re very drunk.”

“To the office. Quickly turn on the light. Why didn’t you turn on the light?”

When Morande disappeared, supporting Calaudin, Evan descended next and he frowned at the familiar face.

“Lisa? Why are you…”

Laria’s dedicated maid, Lisa, was stomping her feet and inspecting the inside of the carriage.

“What about Miss Laria?”

For a moment, Evan’s hazy eyes focused as if struck by lightning.

“…She said she would be leaving first.”

“What?”

Lisa’s pupils shook.

“No. She didn’t come. When did you leave?”

“What are you talking about?”

The next moment, Olivia said curtly as she stood up in the carriage.

“I sent her to the Duke’s residence first around nine o’clock.”

“…Nine o’clock?”

As Lisa’s voice trembled, Olivia collapsed again. Evan spoke slowly, hoping that his voice wouldn’t tremble either.

“Since you and Serena are not among the maids, of course, I thought you went back to the Duke’s residence first with Laria…”

“…No.”

Lisa shook her head.

“Then, why are you at the Duke’s residence first?”

“Miss Laria sent me first… She says she has something to do. Wait, wait…”

Lisa, who was answering frantically, suddenly ran to the carriage that followed without Evan’s permission.

“Serena! Is there Serena?”

Serena was not inside the carriage the servants of the Duke’s residence were riding.

At dawn, a letter with Laria’s name arrived. Though until the moment, the Duke’s residence was turned upside down.