Chapter 1026: Riding the Wind Asking the Moon, Desire, and Reason (111)
“As long as we don’t go beyond the bottom line, no matter how we expose ourselves in front of the Zuo family, at least this will be a past that can be forgotten easily. It won’t leave any traces on you that shouldn’t be there. This is the only thing I can do to protect you.”
Xu Chengfeng’s attitude was calm, but his calmness made Zuo Yue’s heart burn with rage. She stood up abruptly.
Xu Chengfeng reached out to help her up so that she wouldn’t get hurt from standing up too quickly. After all, she had been shot before.
However, Zuo Yue raised her hand and pushed his hand away.
“What is love? Uncle, tell me! Xu Chengfeng, tell me! You’re holding back every day and every step! You gave me hope while letting me see the despair of the future. Is this the protection you give me?”
Zuo Yue’s eyes were red. Didn’t you want me? You know what the answer is in your heart!”
“Zuo Yue, I don’t want to quarrel with you. From the beginning to the end, I never intended to escape this responsibility. If you want, I will always be by your side, but I will not go beyond my limits.”
“What is the bottom line? Get in bed?” Zuo Yue suddenly asked loudly.
Xu Chengfeng’s face darkened. He frowned slightly because of her undisguised and mocking smile. He looked at her with a warning gaze.”Can you be more rational?”
Zuo Yue smiled. Do you know what I will do once I come to my senses?”
Seeing Zuo Yue’s current emotions, Xu Chengfeng reached out and was about to pull her into his arms when Zuo Yue suddenly raised her hand and pushed him away. At the same time, she took a step back.
“You want to quarrel with me?” Xu Chengfeng frowned.”
“I don’t want to.” Zuo Yue shook her head.” The moment my mother appeared, I knew that the time I spent with you was like walking on thin ice. When you had no choice but to lie because of me, I suddenly felt that I was a sinner. In the past, perhaps I just thought that it was good to be with you. As long as we could fall in love, no matter what the outcome was, even if it was a grand start, even if the ending was not what I wanted, I was willing.”
“But I’ve been holding back all this time for the sake of leaving me a way out. Shouldn’t a relationship be unreserved? But you kept your reservations. I finally knew why I couldn’t find a sense of security every day. It was because you used your rationality to slap my face and used the future you were thinking about to stop me from getting close to you.”
Zuo Yue’s smile grew wider as she spoke, but her eyes were still red.”Are you coaxing me? What I want is love, not your perfunctory coaxing to calm me down! I don’t want to drag you down! You lied for me!”
“But what exactly have I been holding in my hands for so many days? It’s actually your reserved heart, your rationality hanging above your emotions.”
“Xu Chengfeng, you’ve asked me time and time again if I know what love is. Do I know what love is? Do you understand? Have you ever loved? Do you know how I feel right now?
I desperately tried to persuade him to stay, but in the end, you used reality to slap me in the face! I did drag you into the abyss, but you didn’t sink at all. You still have a way to save yourself. You used a trick to get me out! I actually believed it! I actually believed you!”
“I’m not trying to save myself. I’ve been protecting you from the beginning to the end. Zuo Yue, I can’t destroy you, understand?”Xu Chengfeng’s eyes were sharp and forbearing.” Liking is presumptuous. Only love is restraint!” I can’t destroy you with my own hands.”
Zuo Yue’s eyes trembled when she heard the word ‘love’. Suddenly, she did not know what she was upset about.
She lowered her eyes.” So, no matter what, you won’t have any further relationship with me. Even kissing will only be twice a day. There won’t be any more ambiguity, and there won’t be any deeper communication. You can’t give me what I want. This is the most you can give me. This restraint and silence, and the occasional reminders to remind me to walk out of this abyss, right?””
Xu Chengfeng didn’t reply, but it was obvious that he had already tacitly agreed.
When Zuo Yue turned around and was about to leave, Xu Chengfeng said calmly,””Your mother will call you out for dinner tonight. Stay in a good mood and don’t let your imagination run wild.”
“Aren’t you going to China and Russia? Aren’t you busy?” Zuo Yue’s back was facing him.” You can go. I’ll return to Los Angeles after my exams in a few days. I won’t pester you anymore, and I won’t let you continue to put on a perfunctory look to make me happy and calm down every day. I want you, but not this you.””
After saying that, Zuo Yue was about to cross the opposite road and leave.
Xu Chengfeng suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her back with a slight force. Zuo Yue almost crashed into his arms. When she looked up at him, there was a smile in her eyes.”I’m trying hard to get angry, don’t provoke me again, okay?” Let someone stay for a while!”
“I’ll settle our relationship as soon as possible. Give me some time.”Xu Chengfeng did not explain further and just looked at her.””You are indeed still young, and I have some doubts that need to be solved. If you are willing to wait, perhaps I will not restrain myself after you turn twenty, but you are only eighteen. Zuo Yue, you have just reached the beginning of your life.”
Zuo Yue coldly let go of his hand,”Who told you that I would definitely wait?” When did I say I was willing to wait? Either you reject me, or you give me your all. This kind of perfunctory way of giving me a chance to find the source of sobriety and rationality in this relationship, I’m sorry, I don’t accept it! You’re using this method to remind me of my naivety and stupidity. You’re using such a calm method to step on my hot blood. I can’t accept it, I’ll never accept it.”
“Zuo Yue!” Xu Chengfeng pulled her back.
He was already trying his best to walk towards her.
But she couldn’t feel it.
“If you’re going to use half of it to brush it off, it’s better to reject it outright, isn’t it?”Zuo Yue raised her head and looked at him. At the same time, she slowly freed her hand from his wrist.”You can continue with your work. My mom is in Boston today, after all. I’m very clear about what I should do and what I shouldn’t do. I’ll accompany her tonight. As for you, I won’t say a word. I won’t let you tell a third lie in your life because you’re going to get me out of this.”
After saying that, Zuo Yue expressionlessly turned around and raised her hand in front of a taxi that had stopped by the roadside. Then, she opened the door and sat in the car. She closed the door and directly left.
When the chauffeur asked her where she was going, Zuo Yue raised her head and looked at Xu Chengfeng in the rearview mirror.
The man stood by the roadside in the snow. He was tall and straight in a plain black suit. His gaze was looking in her direction. It was getting further and further away, and she gradually could not see his face clearly.