Foot in Mouth

Foot in Mouth

The day of the tournament came entirely too quickly for my tastes. Last week I received a box from Minyan containing my outfit, as well as what my role would be..

Luckily, I wasnt really expected to do anything big. I wouldnt be fighting, I would just be sitting with Minyan with her and the other elders, and getting people used to me as Minyan put it.

Apparently the sect was buzzing with curiosity, and now that I was healed I couldnt hide away much anymore.

So. no big deal. Just sit around with a bunch of monstrously powerful old ladies and also navigate the sect when literally everybody wanted to see Minyans son.

Yeah, I wasnt convincing myself either.

I sighed as I stood in my room, my arms out straight. Bailu and Seiyu were helping me get dressed. It was embarrassing as hell, but I had taken one look at what Minyan wanted me to wear and immediately called in the cavalry.

Not only was it made of the finest silk I had ever laid eyes on, it was Eight layers. God damn I hoped I didnt need to take a shit while I was wearing this.

I had been expecting whites and blues; the kind of thing that Minyan wore. But instead, the robe I had been given was varying shades of green, expertly dyed, with grey trimlike a mountain covered in a forest. Gold thread sketched out clouds, leaves, and carved rocks, while on the back was the silhouette of a majestic deer.

It took us half an hour to get me into it, and that was with the surety of Bailu and Seiyus fingers. The entire thing was capped off with a golden hair ornament thing that looked vaguely like interlocked antlers and makeup.

Makeup with Qi in it, that covered my freckles perfectly. It even smoothed out my face a bit, and when they were doneI looked like an actual Young Master. It was weird. And doubly weird that with this stuff on I actually looked vaguely related to Minyan.

I sighed. Bailu and Seiyu, on the other hand, just wore their normal clothes, but their expressions were different. Bubbly Bailu was nowhere to be seen, and Seiyu seemed more elegant and formal than her normal look.

Hold down the fort for us, okay Big D? I asked the rooster. The bird squawked and bowed.

And then off we went. I would have liked to get more sailing practise in, but that wasnt allowed for this trip. Instead, I just had to sit in a throne-like chair while the girls took us towards the Sect.

The massive wrecked ship, the size of a city, was on the highest island. I would have expected it to be permanently covered in snow, because it was higher than Everest, but instead, it was bright and greenlike the island had never been removed from the larger landmasses below.

It may have been some kind of ward or formation, or it might have had something to do with the massive plant that was attached to the Island. A truly Jack and the Beanstalk looking thing that connected Soaring Heavens Isle to the land far, far below. It was bright green and clearly flourishing.

Any Mortal woman that managed to climb the plant was immediately inducted into the sectand I knew that because Minyan had told me how she joined up. Tianzhe Minyan had done it when she was twelve. She climbed eight near-vertical miles, up a magic plant that was home to aggressive Spirit Beasts. Where the weather changed at the drop of a hat, and the temperature regularly went below freezing.

She had been mostly dead at the end of it, but the previous Matriarch herself had nursed Minyan back to health and took her on as a disciple.

That had been an enjoyable evening, listening to her regale me with the story of her youth. She had meandered all over the place, talking about her parents, and how they had fallen to an epidemic, and her brother who had raised her afterwards.

Life over eight hundred years ago sounded pretty similar to life today, strangely enough.

That said, the island was approaching far, far too quickly for my liking. As was the rest of the sect. The air was full of little skiffs like the one I had, or people were just flitting around in the air. Without any visible support; they fluttered around like fairies, some chasing each other and performing aerial acrobatics.

It looked utterly magical.

I did get some glances, but we hauled away from the main gathering of women. They just flew into designated entrances, but I had to enter through the front gate.

It was just a formality, but one that showed I was abiding by the rules.

And what a front gate it was. There was an outer wall around this section of the shipright where a person would end up after climbing the massive beanstalk. The enormous red gate was the size of a ten story building. It was coloured a deep blue, with clouds floating on it, and the banner of the Soaring Heavens Isle Sect fluttered proudly from the walls. I noted that the ballisa that those banners were near were mannederwomanned. Ladies wearing armor and with their eyes hidden by helmets that looked like stylized birds of prey scanned the sky lazily, clearly not expecting any trouble.

We landed at the designated spot, and I hopped off the ship. A couple of servant girls, who only stared a little moored our skiff, and I walked towards the gate, Bailu and Seiyu flanking me, and one step behind me on either side.

The whole production felt weird, but I soldiered on as I approached the gate.

There were two women waiting at the massive gates, both of them fully armoured, and they glared out from helms shaped like phoenix beaks. In their hands they held very fantasy looking Guandao, the polearms and wielding guandao. I approached the grim-faced women, and presented myself.

Who comes before us, the Guardians of the God Ship? The woman on the right demanded.

I placed my hands before me in the gesture of respect. This Shen Rou humbly requests entrance to the Soaring Heavens Isle Sect; he is here by the invitation of Elder Minyan.

I unclasped my hands and handed the woman on the left my invitation. She took it, gave one glance to the seal and the Qi that was within it, and nodded. Then she looked back up to me.

Both womens eyes bored into me, and I could feel a bit of their intent, but it was nothing compared to Elder Minyans. I stood in front of them and waited for a response.

The women actually looked kind of impressed. Both of them slammed their polearms into the ground, and then into their shoulders, so they too could clap their hands over their fists.

Shen Rou. You are expected. Please be welcomed into the Soaring Heavens Isle Sect, as our honoured guest!

Both of them turned to the gates, and raised their hands, palm first.

Synchronised, they pushedand the gate opened with just the air-pressure alone of their Qi.

They turned back to me and bowed again. The one on the right spoke again. Our gates are open to you. Let none challenge your right to be here.

Thank you. I replied, as their heads rose. The one on the lefts lips moved like she was talking, but no sound came out. She was looking at Bailu and Seiyu.

I felt a bit of Bailus Qi, which I was more used to sensing, move behind me, and both the guards seemed a bit taken aback before little smiles formed on their faces.

Be careful in there, Young Master. The one on the left said, seeming to decide to dispense with formalities. The girls are going to be rowdy today.

If theyre anything like these two Ill be praying for survival. I replied, jerking my thumb back at Bailu and Seiyu.

Young Master! Bailu complained, while Seiyu grumbled. The guards actually barked out laughs, the hard looking womens eyes no longer so stern and judging.

It was a pleasure to meet you, Young Master. the guards intoned and bowed their heads.

I took a small breath, and entered the gate.

Have a nice day, Chunhua.

Youyou too!

Bai, Fang, Feifei, Ling. I greeted her posse as I walked past them. They parted for me, and bowed.

Time Bomb defused, it was time to make my exit.

=====================================

The rest of the courtyard stared as the Young Master walked away.

Did he just do that to Chunhua? somebody whispered.

Look at her. She's smiling like she won! another replied.

The Young Master is a dangerous opponent.

His back is niiiice. And those pants do wonders for his a

Sei!

What, it's nice.

No, hey, look, he's getting away, we need to pay our respects too! somebody interrupted the spate of whispers, and the rest of the onlookers realised that was true. They were missing their chance to speak with the calm, controlled Young Master!

The entire courtyard surged forwards, and several opened their mouths to call out

The Storm Wings, who had been acting like leashed, tamed dogs, turned back around, and the entire room froze as their intent was made known.

He's busy. Bailu said simply, her [Voice on the Breeze] ensuring all heard her. Bailu was smiling slightlyexposing canines that were twice as long as a normal womans. Her pupils were slits, and veins bulged in her forehead around invisible horns.

The Young Master has an appointment. Seiyu said, her voice dead. Unlike Bailus draconic mein, Seiyus eyes had no pupils at all. They had become portals to the black depths of the oceana sucking void ready to draw them in and crush them. If you wish to meet him later it will be when you are polite and lady-like, not as a mob.

The ladies of Soaring Heavens Isle all took one step back.

And then the Storm Wings were smiling properly, and they continued after their Young Master.

He tamed the Storm Wings?!

Truly, he is Elder Minyans son!

Oh, he can tame me, if you know what I mean.

Sei!

Dont Sei me! Ive seen the filth you read!

=====================================

That probably went as well as things could have gone, if Im honest. Im glad I managed to diffuse the situation. I was expecting to get mobbed, but the cultivator girls of Soaring Heavens Isle probably didnt do anything that uncouth.

I was actually in a fairly good mood as I approached the corridor Minyan had told me to come to. There were no guardsjust an odd feeling as I stepped through some kind of formation.

The door opened on its own. I paused at the entryway, and bowed low.

Shen Rou pays his respects to his mother the Elders. I said.

You may enter. Really Minyan, why are you teaching him to be so formal to his Aunts? The amused voice I recognised as Elder Lilis beckoned me in.

Formality is the mark of a gentleman. Minyan sniffed. But I suppose he doesnt have to be so formal. Come in, Rou.

I entered at Minyans words, and all of a sudden there was intent. Minyans eyes roved over my body before she nodded in approval.

Oh? You look...presentable. Good job. Elder Song said, from where she was lounging on a couch. She had no armour today, and instead was in a red robe. Her eyes roved over my shoulders.. Before she seemed slightly disappointed. I noticed she had a bowl of seeds in front of her, and a small rag for polishing nails,

That is Song for you look very nice, Young Man. Elder Lili tittered. But where are our manners. Dongmei still has business in the South East; so Her First Disciple will be with us today.

I turned to the last person in the room, as the woman stood. I had to do a double take.

This one is Wuting Xiaobao. She greets Elder Minyans son. I looked up as the last woman rose, and clasped her fist into a martial salute.

I, for the first time since I arrived here, laid eyes on somebody taller than me.

Xiaobao, Little Treasure, was like no female cultivator I had ever seen before. She had to be seven and a half feet tall. The woman had blazing red hair, was absolutely covered in scars and even had an eyepatch.

But what caught my attention the most were her muscles. The woman was absolutely ripped. Shredded. Her physique was a body builders wet dream, sculpted to perfection.

I was nearly stunned into silence. But I was amongst the Elders, so I had to make a good impressionI ended up blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

Your physique is incredible!

The powerful cultivator blinked at me, and I felt my face redden.

Foot, meet mouth.