157 157. Let Me Go
Dave’s face turned pale. He stared at Clara expressionlessly. He was distraught because of the problems Lea and their baby were facing. Now, Clara said something that broke his heart.
“Did you get drunk last night?” Dave asked, swallowing hard. Dave tried to distract himself by tidying up the pile of documents on his desk. “You spent a good time at the bar?”
Clara shook her head. She approached Dave and said again, “I did it consciously, Dave …. I chased after the man, tailing him like an infatuated woman. When he invited me to take revenge on you, I agreed. Not just once. I enjoyed it. We did it several times.”
Instantly, a fire of anger burned Dave’s chest. His face was red, obviously from rage. He raised a hand, about to slap Clara. However, he was still sane enough to hold back. He clenched his fists so tightly that his hands ached.
Dave slammed his fist on the table. He shouted to release his anger. Clara’s heart ached, but she realized that she still had to continue this. For everyone’s good. No. This was all the more selfish, she was doing it for her own good.
“Why are you telling me all this, Clara? You should have kept quiet and didn’t have to tell me,” Dave asked in a trembling voice. His hands were still clenched on the table. He didn’t expect Clara to take revenge on him. Didn’t they agree to continue their wedding plans?
“I just wanted to let you know, this is how I feel right now, Dave. I’m still heartbroken. I’m still easily instigated. I’m still tempted by another man, under the pretext of your betrayal,” Clara continued, holding back tears. “Is it possible, with feelings that are still like this you will accept me?”
Dave fell silent. He caught his breath. inhaled. Exhaled.
“I said I would accept you as you are. I’ve convinced myself to try to convince you,” Dave replied later. “We’re still getting married.”
.....
Clara laughed. The laughter was sad and suffocating. “I don’t believe in my loyalty, Dave. What if we’re married, and I make love to him again? In secret. Without telling you. Do you think that will make our future marriage life intact and happy?” asked Clara with tears in her eyes.
Dave sat on the chair. He was heartbroken, feeling unable to face everything he was going through. It was excruciating and made his heart worried.
“What made you do all this? Why are you suddenly doing this to me?” asked Dave suspiciously. His eyes were bloodshot because sadness and anger had taken over him. “Why didn’t you do this earlier?”
Dave’s gray eyes stared at Clara intensely, trying to enter Clara’s soul from his eyes. He managed to make Clara’s heart feel chaotic. Feeling helpless, Clara burst into tears.
“Why do I need a reason to cheat?” Clara asked back. “He is so … handsome and seductive. It’s natural that I really want to feel how to have sex with him, isn’t it?
“You’re lying, right?” Dave asked, demanding an honest answer. An answer that would make him believe, a compelling reason for her to betray him. “Look at me in the eyes and tell me your reason again.”
Clara wiped away the tears with her fingers. “It doesn’t matter, Dave! I betrayed you! And I really believe that I will easily do it again in the future. Even after we got married.”
Dave rose from his seat. He walked over to Clara and bent down to level his face with hers.
“Clara, tell me that you still love me. I wouldn’t mind if you had an affair. As long as you still love me.” Dave’s face was pitiful. He tried to look at Clara who was crying even more profusely. However, Clara turned away. She felt so guilty. Why all of this had to happen?
“Tell me, Clara! Say that you’re just bored and need a distraction. Tell me you just want to vent your anger,” Dave squeezed Clara’s shoulder. He begged and begged.
Clara sobbed even more. Her tears were so heavy. She swallowed heavily. She couldn’t say the reason. Should she convey it to him?
“I saw you talking to Lea,” Clara said in a trembling voice. “You already know Lea’s problem right?”
Dave’s heart seemed to be squeezed hard. His eyes stared blankly at the office floor. So, was that Clara’s excuse? His knees were weak, and he fell kneeling to the floor.
“I feel that you two are connected by something that I would not be able to interfere with. You two made me feel that I was not a part of it,” explained Clara further.
Clara’s hands reached Dave’s face. She cupped Dave’s cheeks with her cold slender fingers and said, “Sure, I love you, Dave. I love you so much.”
Tears streamed down Dave’s face. His teeth gritted, holding back the vibrations that welled up in his chest.
“I also know that you love and care for me, Dave,” Clara continued with sobs that were getting heavier. “But I know that you also feel the same way... in our case... love alone is not enough to keep us together.”
He shook his head. “No, don’t say that!” He hugged Clara, not wanting to let her go.
“I’m sure you know this too, Dave. We shouldn’t be together,” Clara whispered again. She hugged him tightly, seeking strength from his embrace.
“Lea is fighting for her baby... your baby...,” Clara whispered again in a deep, hoarse voice. “She is risking her life for the innocent baby you made together.”
Dave kept shaking his head. He didn’t want Clara to say the things that had confused him lately.
“Be a good dad, Dave. Give her your full support and care. She and your baby deserve your love,” Clara continued again, she hugged Dave even tighter.
Dave could only hug Clara blankly. He felt that this time he would lose her. He would lose the love he had cultivated for so long.
In a trembling and heavy voice, Clara said, “Let me say goodbye to your life, Dave. Start your new life. Let me go.”