CH 95

Occasional Weakness

Yan Yuan did not want to admit that he was being soft-hearted. Ning Zhiyu was his lover, and now that his lover was in danger, he was being soft-hearted towards Xuan Long.

He hated himself for being soft-hearted.

It was easy to get Xuan Long's heart at this time, just take a dagger and penetrate Xuan Long's skin, rip out the living heart, and Ning Zhiyu would be saved.

But he was unwilling to let Xuan Long die, for no reason at all, he just wouldn't let him leave his side. When he saw Xuan Long's body covered with whip marks, it felt so unbearable that he wanted to reprimand the prison officer for beating him so hard, but then he thought that this would prove his determination to Xuan Long, so he held his tongue.

If Xuan Long had been afraid, he might have handed over the inner elixir. What he didn't expect was that this man would be so stubborn that he would endure such a heavy injury, yet he just wouldn't hand over the item.

He hated Xuan Long's stubbornness, but there was nothing he could do about it. Digging out the flesh of his heart was just a temporary measure before he could get the inner elixir, and what was a curable wound compared to death?

Even so, Yan Yuan could not do it himself. He stood in the passage outside the prison, ten metres from the cell where Xuan Long was being held, waiting for the two guards to come out and do their job.

The eerie firelight jumped from the sconces on the walls, and the cell was cold and empty. Most of the prisoners held here were important prisoners of war or criminal courtiers from other countries, and after a few executions a few months ago, there was no one left.

The imperial guards moved quickly, and not long after Xuan Long was dragged into the cell, they emerged, one of them presenting Yan Yuan with a plain black wooden box in his hands, containing what he wanted.

Yan Yuan lifted his eyes to look at the wooden box, and when he raised his hand to touch it, his fingertips retracted and he withdrew his hand and dropped it to his side: "How is he?"

"In reply to Your Majesty's words, he has fainted, he did not struggle much when the knife was placed upon him, and only grunted twice."

Yan Yuan: "Go and invite the flower spirit."

The flesh of the heart was only a thin piece, the size of a woman's hand, and after Yan Yuan returned to Luanfeng Hall, the palace staff immediately used it on Ning Zhiyu according to Zong Hua's recipe.

After a night of tossing and turning, the day was dawning. After taking the medicine, Ning Zhiyu's breath was not as faint as before, but it was still very weak.

When Yan Yuan heard that Ning Zhiyu had jumped on his own, he didn't believe it and thought that Qingmei had lied in order to shirk her responsibility, so he ordered the court lady to be locked up and executed after the autumn.

He and A'Yu were doing well, how could the other side suddenly want to leave him?

Impossible...

It must be because the floor was slippery in the rain, so he failed to stand firmly. He blamed himself for being too busy and not caring much for him lately. A'Yu must have missed him and went to see the scenery at Yuqing Pavilion alone.

Silly A'Yu, there is no such thing as a good view on a rainy day.

Yan Yuan's teary eyes blurred as he held Ning Zhiyu's pale hands: "... You said that you would hold hands with me and grow old together, are you going to go back on your word to me too?"

......

The man lay motionless on the wet, cold straw, the blood on his body staining the straw an uneven shade of red, and the cramped space was filled with a strong, cold scent.

Hua Niang was pushed into the cell and froze when she saw the man on the floor. She walked over in disbelief and slowly knelt down, her fingertips trembling as she lifted the man's long, messy hair to reveal a cold, pale face.

“A'Long...” The moment she opened her mouth, tears poured down her face.

She hardly dared to look at Xuan Long's bloodstained body, unable to imagine how cruel it was to do such a thing to someone who was pregnant, let alone carrying that person's child in their belly.

With tears streaming down her face, Hua Niang conjured up a pair of scissors and cut the clothes that were attached to Xuan Long's body, then sprinkled the wounds with the best medicine she could find. It was frightening enough when he was dressed, but when he was undressed, it was even worse. Apart from the wounds on his chest, the wounds on his lower limbs were the most serious, his two long legs were covered with whip marks, some of which were bone deep.

The human race says that there is a deep kindness once married, but after having sex with Xuan Long and taking his body, how can he still do this to him...

After the medicine was administered, Hua Niang used her spiritual power to manipulate the bandages to carefully wrap Xuan Long's body, and then produced a clean set of clothes for him to put on. After this, there was not much of her meager spiritual power left.

It was too cold in this prison and Xuan Long would not be able to withstand it if he was this weak, so she gritted her teeth, dried the straw on the ground, and made a thick bedding. The exhaustion of her spiritual energy made her pale and she had no choice but to walk towards the cell and look through the bars to the two guards waiting outside.

"You... can you help me and carry him onto the bedding?"

The two guards looked at her and then looked through the bars at the unconscious Xuan Long on the ground, frowning with difficulty. When one comes to this prison, they have to suffer, there is no reason for them to sleep on a mattress. If the Emperor knew about it, most of them would be punished.

"No."

"His Majesty has ordered to leave him with one breath and that's it, and no good food or drink is allowed to be served."

With tears in her eyes, Hua Niang watched the two iron-faced guards pause for a moment before turning away in disappointment and returning to Xuan Long's side. She could not move Xuan Long, so she had to wrap him up in a quilt, and while the straw under him was barely dry, it was not as comfortable as a mattress.

Xuan Long was so badly injured that external medicine was not enough, he had to take it internally. Hua Niang gently pinched Xuan Long's cheeks and forced him to open his lips as she poured in the medicine from a small black porcelain vial.

The medicine was poured in, but Xuan Long refused to swallow and it dribbled out down the corners of his mouth. Hua Niang knew that his time was getting short.

“A'Long..."

“Drink some... you don't want to die..."

Hua Niang sobbed quietly, holding Xuan Long's upper body in her arms and whispering, "Think about the baby, okay?..."

"He hasn't come out to see this world yet..."

She did not know if her words were heard, but after Hua Niang rambled a bit, when she tried to pour the medicine into Xuan Long's mouth again, there was a slight movement in his throat and he swallowed a small portion.

No more could be fed.

Hua Niang's daughter was waiting at home, so she could not stay forever and left at dawn.

It was dawn outside, but the cell was still dark. The daylight filtered down through the square opening at the top, which did not bring much light.

Xuan Long rarely woke up each day, and he was usually unconscious. Every time Yan Yuan came, he was asleep, huddled in a bed of grey cotton bedding, as if he was afraid of the cold.

Yan Yuan had to force him awake, but Xuan Long's mind was always unclear. He was in pain everywhere, and was always in a cold sweat when he was awake. It was better when he was asleep, he probably slept so deeply that he didn't feel the pain.

He sometimes recognises Yan Yuan, sometimes he sees him as Hu Le, but when he knows it is Yan Yuan, he doesn't like to talk to him. Xuan Long's temperament is not capable of saying harsh words. He just looks cold, but in reality he doesn't even say curse words, at most he says he doesn't want to see him and that he hates him.

But that was all in the past. When one is really disheartened, one does not even want to talk to that person. Some people express their sadness and anger by cursing and fighting to the death, but when Xuan Long is sad, he has the habit of shutting himself up, as he did when he was a child.

Except for the time when he was kicked out of the dragon clan, Xuan Long would not beg for mercy even if he was beaten up by his mother. What really scared him was that his mother would never want him again and he would never have a home again.

After being abandoned by his clan, Xuan Long already knew that when his mother did not want him, it was useless to beg, and even if he died in front of his mother that day, she probably would not even shed half a tear.

Some beings are born to be inferior to others, because even their closest relatives are unwilling to love them, unwilling to part with even a little bit of softness of heart, let alone other people.

That is why he would not ask Yan Yuan for forgiveness, he would not tell Yan Yuan the truth. He was afraid that it did not matter to Yan Yuan where the inner elixir had gone. Yan Yuan only cared whether he could take out the inner elixir and save his beloved, if not, he would be no different from a beast that did not understand human feelings.

As he once said... you are nothing more than a beast.

Perhaps, because he was a demon, he could never understand why a person could be so hypocritical and eloquent, and could go to great lengths to deceive him for another person, to make love to him, just to deceive his heart.

Yan Yuan did not understand Xuan Long's desperation, all he knew was that Xuan Long was always distant and cold to him, and if he mistook him for Hu Le, Xuan Long would talk nonsense intermittently and occasionally laugh.

He could actually laugh. He hadn't laughed in a long time, not because of him, but because of a long-dead fox demon. Yan Yuan knew it was foolish to compete with a dead demon, but he just couldn't help himself and didn't like the way Xuan Long laughed when he was calling out the name of someone else under his breath and smiling so happily.

It was a happiness that came from the bottom of his heart, and Yan Yuan could even imagine how relaxing it would be if Xuan Long and the fox demon could really live together.

Xuan Long was willing to go with Yan Huo Heng and to live with Hu Le, but only tried desperately to run away from him. Before that, he had clearly allowed him to give birth to his child, was he still not satisfied with such a great gift?

Yan Yuan was furious at the thought of this. He squeezed Xuan Long's cheek and told him to shut up and not to call out Hu Le's name again. Xuan Long never cried out in pain to Yan Yuan, but when he thought he was Hu Le, he would cry out in a fog of pain.

Xuan Long's unfocused turquoise eyes never met Yan Yuan's face, his sword brows slightly wrinkled, his voice as small as a mosquito: "Hu Le… it hurts..."

Perhaps because Hu Le is one of the few people in the world who really cared about him, who didn't mind him being a nuisance, who didn't mind him being picky when he was pregnant, who would treat him well in any way possible, it was okay to show weakness once in a while.

If Hu Le were still around, he would have asked him where he was hurting. He lifted the bedding from Xuan Long's body and ordered him to be chained to the wall, demanding that he recognise him before he was released.