CH 108

Father, Don't Leave A'Zhi

In the years before he met Xuan Long, Yan Yuan spent New Year's Eve with Ning Zhiyu, and after the palace banquet, he would celebrate New Year's Eve with Ning Zhiyu.

He thought that he was his love from his previous life and he had given up everything to treat him well, even his own life and the life of Xuan Long, only to find out that he had loved the wrong person.

He was filled with bitterness and hatred that had no place to go. He hated himself for having identified the wrong person, for having been blinded, and for having ruined the lives of two people.

Ning Zhiyu was innocent after all. On the day he went into labour, Yan Yuan went to see him at Luanfeng Hall. The child was born with fiery red pupils, demonic and evil, and he was not the heir of a human being.

The palace staff were all terrified.

Yan Yuan was calm, not only was he not angry, but he felt a vague sense of relief and liberation in his heart. This is how it is when you don't care about the other person, no matter what they do, it doesn't stir up any emotions in him.

“A'Yuan... I'm sorry."

"I betrayed you." With his long hair spread wetly beneath him, Ning Zhiyu lay weakly on the bed, his smile clear, with a calm look of waiting to be disposed of.

His pale, thin face no longer aroused Yan Yuan's affection, the love of the past dissipating like a passing wind.

Yan Yuan did not ask who the child belonged to, Yan Yuan was not interested at all. He calmly gave the order that when Ning Zhiyu's body recovered, he would stay in the cold palace by himself.

As for the child, he could keep it and it did not need to be executed.

His A'Zhi was not a pure human, but had turquoise eyes and dragon horns similar to those of Xuan Long, so it didn't make sense that someone couldn't live if they weren't human.

Even if the product of adultery didn’t deserve to die, it would not be excessive to execute the whole family, but he did not want to kill them all for old time's sake.

The most important reason was that he wanted to bring good fortune to his child.

A'Zhi is the name Yan Yuan has given to his child.

A'Zhi, A'Zhi.

To hold the hand of his son and grow old with him.

That was his unfulfilled long-cherished wish in this life. It was his remembrance of Xuan Long and his dedication to him. A'Zhi's existence is proof that Xuan Long had been here.

If there is another life, he will take this obsession with him to seek his forgiveness and start over with him.

As the formerly favoured empress was sent to the cold palace, Luanfeng Hall was filled with weeping and mourning. Yan Yuan turned and walked out, leaving the words of mercy behind.

Ning Zhiyu, who was the protagonist, was just as calm as Yan Yuan, and did not mourn his fate in the slightest. He fished out two identical silver hairpins from under his pillow and called out to him with a faint smile.

“A'Yuan."

Yan Yuan paused in his tracks and kept his back to him without turning around.

They had nothing more to say to each other now.

Ning Zhiyu didn't mind that he didn't look at him, his pale fingers held the silver hairpin, the tip of one finger caressing the not-so-delicate cloud pattern on the end of the pin.

"Look, this is the silver hairpin I was given on the day of the Qixi Festival."

"The first one was lost... and you found an identical one to give to me." Hearing him say this, Yan Yuan slowly turned around and looked at the man on the bed.

"The one that was lost, I later found it under the bed. The palace staff had accidentally caused the hairpin that was under the pillow to fall into the crack of the bed when they were cleaning."

Ning Zhiyu smiled at Yan Yuan, the ends of his eyes red.

"You have a heart."

"Husband and wife, I've never regretted it."

Yan Yuan walked over stiffly and looked at the two silver hairpins with the same pattern in Ning Zhiyu's hand, "... Which one was given to you later?"

After a moment, Ning Zhiyu handed over the silver hairpin in his right hand, and Yan Yuan raised his hand to gently take it, his vision blurred by the hot mist.

Afterwards, Yan Yuan did not pay attention to what Ning Zhiyu said, he took the hairpin back to Qiankun Palace and did not say a word on the way.

He could imagine Xuan Long's feelings when he bought this hairpin.

He must have seen something, seen him give this hairpin to Ning Zhiyu, and then went to buy an identical one.

That day, the Qixi Festival was really lively... when he thought about it now, he still felt that it was lively, but when he looked around, it was cold and clear. Xuan Long must have been in the same state of mind as he is now.

He used Xuan Long's deep love and remorse as a mockery, and imposed the stigma of jealousy on him, not knowing that the dragon was actually trying to hide the heart that loved him in secret, so that it would not be trampled on by him.

But he was so awful that he had to embarrass him, to shatter his dignity.

Yan Yuan looked up at the white sky.

It had snowed again today.

It was cold.

......

Luanfeng Hall.

"In half a month, this honourable one's physical body will be able to reappear on Earth, are you really not going to follow this honourable one?"

The palace staff in the hall retired, and from the time the child was born, Ning Zhiyu did not look at it. He was lying on the bed, his expression was one of calmness that transcended sorrow.

"I will not go."

"You'd rather live in a cold palace than go with this honourable man?" The voice in his head grumped.

"This is my home." Ning Zhiyu said softly.

"You are really ruthless... not even willing to look at your own child."

Ning Zhiyu looked at the air above him, "When I see him, I think of you and feel sick."

These words managed to make Mo Zun shut his mouth.

After a while, Ning Zhiyu asked, "How do you break the demonic compulsion?"

Mo Zun's low voice had a hidden hostility in it, "It cannot be broken."

Ning Zhiyu's hands clenched the bedding on his body: "You said that the demonic compulsion would not cause harm to his body, you lied to me..."

Mo Zun sneered: “That’s right, originally it would indeed not cause harm. Who told him to fall in love with Xuan Long again and suffer from a backlash since he shifted his love."

"Shouldn't you be happy?"

Yan Yuan's head ailment was getting worse by the day, and if it continued like this, he feared that he would die from the sickness. Ning Zhiyu gritted his teeth and said, "... If you help him remove the compulsion, I will go with you."

"What a love that moves heaven and earth."

"This honourable one is in tears hearing it."

......

Three years later.

The sun was setting in the west, the moon was at the top of the trees, and a small child sat alone on the steps outside the Qiankun Palace, with his hands on his knees, staring up at the bright jade disc above.

He was dressed in a little green brocade robe, his face white and tender, with two short thick black horns on the top of his head, and his turquoise pupils reflecting the moonlight in an eerie and beautiful way.

An eunuch ran over next to him, bent over and asked, "Young Highness, what is wrong with you?"

"Why do you have to sit here in the middle of the night? Quickly go in with this servant, be careful of catching a cold..."

The small child froze and hung his head, "Father is drunk again."

Whenever his father was drunk, he would hug him and cry, shouting his mother's name at him and crying in a heartbreaking way.

He didn't want to make his father sad.

"This..." The eunuch hesitated for a moment and said. "Then Young Highness should go and persuade the Emperor and tell him to drink less, too much wine hurts his body."

"The Emperor won't listen to the words of others, but he will listen to Young Highness."

Yan Zhi whispered: "But when he sees me, he will be even sadder..." His little hand was picking at the weeds growing in the cracks of the steps, and he looked up at the eunuch, his eyes red at the corners: "When will Mother come back... does he not want A'Zhi and Father anymore?..."

Eunuch: “That’s right, Young Highness is so cute, how could the Empress not want you, he's just gone for now. When Young Highness grows up, he will return."

After Ning Zhiyu was dethroned, Yan Yuan posthumously crowned a new Empress, and that new Empress was the Crown Prince's birth mother, Han Po.

Everyone knew that the Crown Prince was born to the Emperor and a dragon. In the past, the demons cried out wickedly, so Yan Yuan sent someone to ask the storytellers in the market to compile a book about Xuan Long who gave up his life to save him, and every day, the book was widely publicised in the teahouses and brothels. The Crown Prince born of this demon became the reincarnation of the Son of Heaven, and the turquoise pupils and dragon horns were the best proof of this.

The story of how the emperor and the dragon met and fell in love, and how they had a son, gradually became a good story. No one laughed at A'Zhi for being born differently, he was loved by Yan Yuan like a treasure and lived a happy and innocent life in the palace, his only worry being the delay in his mother's return.

When his mother returned, they would be reunited, his father would not be in tears all the time, and he would not have to hide under the covers and miss his mother, not daring to let his father know.

“Really?..."

"Then A’Zhi must grow up quickly."

The eunuch squatted beside the young child, smiling with a creased face, "It is true."

"Then Young Highness, will you now follow this servant into the house?"

Yan Zhi nodded, "Mm..."

The eunuch leaned over and picked up the young child, escorting him into the hall door.

"Father... you promised A'Zhi that you would drink less wine."

The inner hall was dim, the tent was high, and the man with long hair was leaning sideways on the bed, holding a jade pot in his hand and tilting his head to pour wine into his mouth. His fair face was sickly pale and his eyes were flushed at the end. At the sound of his voice, his drunken eyes twisted to look over, his arm holding the jug dropped to the edge of the bed and he reached out towards the small child, vaguely exhaling the wine.

“A'Zhi....."

"Where have you been, making Father search so much."

The small child walked over towards Yan Yuan, stopped at the edge of the bed, lifted his small hand to wipe the tears from the corner of Yan Yuan's eyes, and whispered back, “A’Zhi was sitting just outside the door."

“A'Zhi doesn't like Father drinking."

"Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival and Father is happy." Yan Yuan smiled and picked the small child up from the bed, seemingly wobbly but actually extraordinarily stable.

A'Zhi knew that the Mid-Autumn Festival was a reunion festival, and he had heard the palace staff say that a reunion festival was a time for families to eat together happily. A'Zhi turned around in Yan Yuan's arms and wrapped his little arms around Yan Yuan's neck, saying sullenly, "Father, don't cry."

“En, Father will not cry." Yan Yuan's large palm covered his young back and he buried his face in the crook of his neck. "Father will not cry..."

He said he would not cry, but A'Zhi felt hot, wet tears on his neck, and his body trembled as he wrapped his arms around him.

When A'Zhi saw him crying, he couldn't help but cry as well. Father and son hugged each other and cried together as Yan Yuan said something he couldn't understand:

"Father is sorry for you..."

“A'Zhi... Father is sorry for you."

The eldest eunuch said that when he grew up, his mother would return to reunite with their family. But before he could grow up, his father fell ill.

Yan Yuan's head ailment had been attacking him day after day for five years, and he appeared to be alive, but in reality he was a walking corpse. He held on for five years, but finally he could not hold on.

On the day his father left, A’Zhi was at his bedside, holding his big hand and crying his heart out: "Father, don't leave A'Zhi..."

"Don't leave A'Zhi..."

Even though Yan Yuan had done many wrong things in the past, in Xiao A'Zhi's eyes, his father was the pillar that held up heaven and earth for him. He had never seen his mother, but only his father.

His father's hands were so big and strong that he could easily pick him up and lift him up, and they were so warm that he felt at ease. But why had his father's hands become so cold, so cold that he was afraid?

The man on the bed was withered and thin, his eyes without light, and the title of the most beautiful man in the capital no longer applied to Yan Yuan. He was only twenty-five years old, but he was as old as an old man in his twilight years, with no life left in him.

Yan Yuan looked at the young child on the edge of the bed with half-dozed eyes. His A'Zhi was not much taller than the edge of the bed and was crying pitifully, which was heartbreaking.

“A'Zhi... Father, is going to look for your mother, do not cry..."

The young child cried and shook his head, his hands gripping Yan Yuan's big palm hard: "Then Father, take A’Zhi with you, A’Zhi wants to go too..."

Yan Yuan smiled breathlessly, “A'Zhi is a good boy... go with your Aunt Hua out of the palace, she will accompany you."

"When A’Zhi grows up... Father will come back with Mother to see you..."