CH 113

The Road to Collecting the Soul, The Carved Wooden Man

The memory of a broken soul consciousness is incomplete, each wisp of consciousness has its own sorrows and joys, and will linger for some time in the places where its obsessions remain, doing the things it loved to do in life or falling into the nightmares it feared most in life, unable to extricate itself.

The Xuan Long in front of him was only a soul ash loaded with a small piece of memory, his personality was not complete, and he was obviously more sluggish than before. He carved too seriously, only when he heard Yan Yuan's hoarse and trembling call did he raise his head towards the visitor as an afterthought, with a slightly bewildered and confused look.

“A'Yuan..."

The man in black sat there unmoving with his wooden man in his hand. His obsession was with this wooden man, and thus he only knew how to keep carving it, and the rest of things, for him, were very vague.

Every step Yan Yuan took towards Xuan Long was like stepping on the tip of a knife, the pain spread from his heart to his whole body, and it took all his strength not to let the tears flow down his face, he didn't want to scare this piece of his soul.

As he slowly crouched down in front of Xuan Long, Yan Yuan smiled up at him, his scarlet eyes full of tenderness: "What are you doing?..."

The man was momentarily confused and looked down at the wooden figure and carving knife in his hands before he remembered what he was doing and replied seriously, "Carving a wooden figure."

The sourness in Yan Yuan's nose was unbearable and his voice grew hoarse as he smiled and asked, "What is the purpose of carving a wooden figure?"

If he were in a normal state, Xuan Long would be ashamed to show Yan Yuan the unfinished and shoddy wooden man, but the wisp of his soul in such a state was less convoluted, simpler and more honest than the complete Xuan Long, and would say everything he normally kept to himself.

It's just that his brain wasn't very good and it took a lot of effort to think of anything. Luckily, Yan Yuan was more patient than ever, waiting for him to come up with an answer and listening to him stumble over his words.

“... Give A'Yuan.”

Yan Yuan could not help but raise his hand to hold Xuan Long's hand that was resting on his knee. Because he was inside the consciousness of Xuan Long's soul, the touch felt as if it was really a living person.

With his eyes downcast, he saw that the man's hands were covered with tiny wounds, old wounds added to new ones, and it was as if they were carved into Yan Yuan's heart, causing him to shed tears and ask in a hissing voice:

"What is the point of sending A'Yuan a wooden man?"

"He did not treat you well..."

Xuan Long did not answer, but raised his hand and gently touched Yan Yuan's face, his fingertips wiping away the traces of tears on his face as he clumsily said, “A'Yuan... don't cry."

Yan Yuan grabbed Xuan Long's hand and pressed it against his face, burying his face between his legs, crying and trembling. All the pain and loneliness he had been holding back exploded at this moment.

Xuan Long was at a loss for words as he looked at the man who was crying like a child on his lap, and touched the back of his head with his fingertips: “A'Yuan... don't cry."

The more gentle he was, the more Yan Yuan cried, crying until he was completely unable to help himself.

Up until the last moment, this man had never said a single harsh word to him, so how could he be so cruel as to treat him like that? Even if he was blinded by Heaven, he should not have been cruel to his beloved.

This was his A'Po...

They had agreed to spend ten thousand years together, and he had ruined it all...

He couldn't defeat the Heavenly Way, he couldn't protect his lover, and he aided and abetted the enemy, helping the Heavenly Way to cut off his lover's life with his own hands.

“A'Po... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"I'm really, really sorry..."

Xuan Long's fingertips moved gently through Yan Yuan's hair, pausing at the words, bewilderment surfacing in his lowered turquoise eyes, "Why, do you want to apologise?"

Yan Yuan lifted his head from between his legs, his beautiful peach blossom eyes swelling into walnuts, "Because... I did something wrong."

At this time, the memories that Xuan Long possessed were stuck in the time shortly after he entered the palace, and in his mind at this time, Yan Yuan was the person who treated him the best in the whole world, even if Yan Yuan had made the biggest mistake, he could be forgiven.

Subconsciously, he trusted Yan Yuan unconditionally and never thought that Yan Yuan would really harm him.

So without even asking why, he raised his hand to wipe his tears and said, "Don't be sad, I don't blame you."

Yan Yuan's face showed pain and he choked out a sob: "But I blame myself..."

“A'Po, I blame myself..."

Seeing that nothing could be done to coax him, Xuan Long was really in a difficult position. After thinking for a while, he put the wooden figure and the carving knife in his hands on the table, then leaned down, dropped both knees to the ground, and slowly hugged Yan Yuan's body with his arms.

"Don't be afraid... it will pass."

The warmth of the man's palm reached Yan Yuan's back through the thin clothing, and his low, gentle voice was like a pool of hot spring water that flowed unhurriedly through Yan Yuan's heart, making him feel increasingly desolate.

It's not going to pass, it's not going to pass.

Now that they have come to this point, there will be no future between them.

Xuan Long was born with the fate of the Lonely Heavenly Star, destined to be alone for the rest of his life, but he didn't believe in fate. He was the Heavenly Emperor and had the destiny of the Purple Heavenly Star. Even Xuan Long, the Lonely Heavenly Star, could not do anything to him, so the two of them should have been able to love each other forever. What Yan Yuan never expected was that Xuan Long would perish because his destiny was too strong.

The evil that should have been suffered by Yan Yuan was blocked by Xuan Long. Perhaps this was a punishment and a warning from the Heavens to him. He was once so bent on his own way that he thought he could defeat the Heavenly Way, but now it seems that he, being the Heavenly Emperor, is no different from a tiny speck of dust among all living beings.

His mother was right, the closer he was to Xuan Long... the more painful his life would be.

Because the Heavenly Way will not make it easy for either of them.

Even if he saved Xuan Long this time, if he continued to pursue him in the future, Xuan Long would probably still die... If not seeing this dragon would allow him to live in peace and tranquillity, then he would be willing to endure it alone.

Endure the loneliness and pain of millions of lifetimes to come, and say goodbye to him and never see each other again.

There would be no future for them.

Yan Yuan thought to himself that there would be no future, but his body could not help but continue to enjoy Xuan Long's embrace, smiling with red eyes.

“En, it will pass."

"I'll take you home."

In Xuan Long's consciousness, this palace was Yan Yuan's home, and he murmured and repeated his words, “Home?…"

Yan Yuan stepped back some distance from the man in his arms and touched the unmasked half of Xuan Long's handsome face.

"Mmm."

"Back to our home."

Xuan Long's icy turquoise eyes gazed at him as he said slowly and quietly, “Where is it?"

Yan Yuan's heart inevitably felt apprehensive, fearing that Xuan Long would not want to go with him, but his face smiled as usual.

"You will know when I take you there."

"Are you willing to go with me?"

Xuan Long was silent for a moment, then he said, “En."

As far as he was concerned, it was the same wherever he went, and where Yan Yuan was, that was home.

With that, he stood up, took the wooden figure from the table and handed it to Yan Yuan.

“Wooden figure... for you."

"In the future, don't be upset."

Yan Yuan froze on the spot before he could rejoice.

There was no need to ask carefully, from Xuan Long's words he could know the cause and the effect. When he was in the mortal world, he was angry with Xuan Long, usually because Xuan Long refused to give him his inner elixir, and he would become furious and say all sorts of nasty things to him.

When he was in the Heavenly Realm, Xuan Long was such a stuffy person, he didn't know how to explain when he was misunderstood and would only do things behind his back in an attempt to please him and beg for his forgiveness.

In his previous life, Yan Yuan was so soft-hearted that he couldn't bear to see Xuan Long upset, and always forgave him before long, but in this life, Yan Yuan was so ruthless that he threw the wooden figures that Xuan Long had carved with his own hands to the ground, telling him not to spend his time on such useless things. 

At that time, the man looked disappointed and sad, but he was so angry that he didn't even bother to look at it.

Thinking about it made his vision blur.

When Xuan Long saw that Yan Yuan was hesitant to take it, he was stunned and took back the wooden man in his hand, "Don't you like it?"

"Then forget it... I will carve a better one for you later."

Yan Yuan returned to his senses, hastily holding Xuan Long's hand and taking the wooden figure away.

"Like it."

"I like everything you give me."

Seeing Yan Yuan smile, Xuan Long's icy turquoise eyes followed suit, the corners of his lips curving up in small arcs, his handsome eyebrows haloed by the candle flame in a dream-like manner. He whispered:

"As long as you are happy."

As long as you are happy.

This sentence, again, caused Yan Yuan's heart to ache.

"Happy... when I am with you, I am happy."

At this stage, Xuan Long was easy to deceive, he believed whatever Yan Yuan said, not to mention that he was slow to think and even more obedient at this time. Since he had promised to go with Yan Yuan, Yan Yuan was not worried about the rest.

With a wave of his sleeve, a small box with a black gemstone and a dark gold carved dragon appeared on the table, and Yan Yuan told Xuan Long to get into it. Xuan Long turned sideways to look at the table, his eyes showing doubt.

"What is this?"

Yan Yuan did not want to take his eyes off Xuan Long's face for a moment, he wanted to stay within this soul consciousness. The Xuan Long in front of him had not yet experienced the humiliations and pains that came later, the Xuan Long in front of him would still gift him wooden figures and smile at him… he wanted to stay here, to stay in this hall with Xuan Long and not go anywhere, to live out a million lifetimes like this, he wouldn't get tired of it.

Regrettably, he could not. Once the soul gathering box was activated, all of the broken souls had to be collected within a month, otherwise the box would fail, and once it failed, the collected souls would be scattered again and the effort would be lost.

A'Zhi was still waiting for him to pick him up.

He had to bring Xuan Long back quickly.

This meant that the final parting was getting closer and closer. Therefore he cherished every moment he had with Xuan Long, and every time he looked at him, he lost one glance.

Although he would soon be able to meet the rest of Xuan Long's soul, who knew whether the memories of the other soul consciousnesses were good or bad, whether they were love or hate?

Yan Yuan suppressed the sadness in his heart and tried his best to look gentle and calm with a smile.

"This is the soul gathering box, it can take you home."

"The soul gathering box..." Xuan Long mumbled confusedly. His sole soul consciousness prevented him from thinking too much, and he would not find out that he was actually dead and was now just a grain of soul ash floating in the world.

Yan Yuan: “En."

If he could no longer think about it, then he did not want to think about it. He was about to turn a little bit and go inside, but then he hesitantly stopped and turned back to look at Yan Yuan: "What about you?"

Yan Yuan smiled and his vision blurred: "The soul gathering box carries you, and I carry the box with me."

Xuan Long nodded with seeming understanding, "... Okay."

Then he turned into flying ash and burrowed in.