CH 137

Don't Look Back

Mo Zun was right, Ning Zhiyu was free from this moment on.

But he felt as though there was a piece of his heart that was left empty. He was not as happy as he expected to be when Mo Zun died, he just felt the suddenness. He was just a floating duckweed in this world, having lost his place of origin and having no place to return to, there was no place for him in the whole world.

Yan Yuan said he wanted to take him away, but what could he do if he left with him, they could not go back to the past. When he thought about it, the only living creature in this world with whom he had an unbreakable bond was the soft dumpling that he repeatedly called a little bastard.

With the death of the Demon Lord, the demon soldiers and generals lost their backbone and were soon defeated and sealed by the gods beneath the Divine South Ridge, plunging the demon city into the darkness of the earth with a deafening noise that stirred sand up into the sky.

Ning Zhiyu's heart ached intensely as he remembered that tiny figure standing by his bedside, calling out to his mother in a milky voice. He stumbled over to Yan Yuan and knelt down, the rough sand and stones grinding into his knees, but he could not feel the pain.

The knife in Yan Yuan's palm faded away, and he withdrew his hand to look at Ning Zhiyu, who knelt on the ground, with his frozen, blue hand touching the hem of Yan Yuan's white coat, tugging it gently as he smiled softly:

"Yan Yuan, I was born humble, to meet you has been a lifelong blessing. I know I have done wrong and am not qualified to ask for anything more, but I still want to ask you for one thing today. If you agree, I would give my life to repent for the mistakes I have made."

Yan Yuan was silent for a moment.

"Say it."

"Spare my child."

Yan Yuan frowned slightly, "He is a demon."

"Although he is a demon, he has been obedient since he was a child, and if you tell him not to do something, he will not do anything that would make people unhappy." Finishing without haste, Ning Zhiyu dropped to his knees and kowtowed.

"Please..."

The winter was harsh. Ning Zhiyu's thin white robe was blowing and ballooning in the cold wind, and his skin felt like it was being cut by countless sharp blades at the same time; he had been in a state of confusion for four years, and had never been as awake as he was now.

Many things that had been deliberately ignored in the past came back to him. He remembered that the day A'Lie was born was as cold as it was today. He was very sick, muttering about being cold, and soon a human-shaped stove entered the cold bedding. He unconsciously leaned over, and when he came to his senses, he realised that it was not the person he wanted to see, and he had been crazy for a long time.

Speaking of which, he was gentle and courteous before everyone, and knew how to advance and retreat. Only in front of Mo Zun did he act like a hysterical madman, saying anything bad and hurtful outwardly with no restraint, hoping that Mo Zun would go mad and kill him so that he could be done with it, but he never thought that one day Mo Zun would die for him.

Having seen all his ugliness, his wretchedness, his madness and his undignified demons, he was actually the one being who truly accepted him and was willing to accompany him to the end.

Unfortunately they were both too stubborn and not meant to be. If they had met earlier, in some other simpler way, perhaps he would not have minded that he was a demon.

So what if he was a demon? Treating him well would have been good enough.

But there are no what-ifs in this world, and what has happened will not change. From the moment of Mo Zun’s death, no one on Heaven or Earth would be able to condone Ning Zhiyu's capriciousness in this way.

If he had to name one, it would be the soft dumpling he was forced to give birth to.

That soft dumpling had been a very good boy ever since he understood how to behave, and he used to love to jump into Ning Zhiyu's arms. After being reprimanded by Ning Zhiyu a few times, he stopped being so petulant with him and approached him in an extremely measured manner every time, knowing how to behave like a little adult.

At that time, he did not look into the matter, but now that he thought about it, A'Lie's good manners and knowledge of advance and retreat should have been taught behind the scenes by Mo Zun. He could even imagine the tone of voice in which Mo Zun coaxed the child, telling him how to get along with his mother in order to please him, and how A'Lie carefully followed his father's words, not knowing that, in fact, his father was a complete failure and had never been able to please his mother in any way, therefore, his father's methods naturally did not work well.

However, like his father, he had the advantage of not giving up easily. No matter how many times he had received a cold face from Ning Zhiyu, when they met again, it was as if nothing had happened, and he would softly call out to his mother.

It was obvious that he was only four years old.

Apart from giving birth to him, Ning Zhiyu had never done his duty as a parent for a single day and had never given him a moment's kindness. The occasional softness in his heart would be cruelly curbed by him, when he remembered the heinous hatred between him and Mo Zun, and how he was forced to give birth to that little bastard, he would be able to ruthlessly turn a cold face to him.

Only those who are showered with love have extra love to give to others. How can he nourish others when he himself is a dry sea?

Ning Zhiyu could not hear Yan Yuan's reply, so he kowtowed at his feet over and over again, so much so that his forehead bled and it trickled down between his eyebrows.

Seeing his pitiful condition, Yan Yuan remembered how Xuan Long had begged him to keep his child alive in the mortal world. For reasons of love, as a mother, it was only right that he should protect his child. However, A'Lie, that child had the blood of the demons in his body, and if he was not sealed, there would be endless problems in the future.

The gods and generals behind him all advised Yan Yuan not to do so. As he was taking Ning Zhiyu back to Heaven to be the Heavenly Empress, there was no way he could bring an illegitimate child back with him, and furthermore, this illegitimate child was a demon.

Yan Yuan raised his hand and the gods silenced. He turned his head to look at Xuan Long beside him and asked, “A'... General, what do you think?"

Xuan Long paused slightly: "If there is goodness in your heart, you can be redeemed and ascend to become a god."

That is naturally not an easy task.

However, it would not be impossible if someone led him to be benevolent with all his heart. If he failed in the future, he could be eliminated. Yan Yuan made up his mind and sighed.

“All right, even though that child is a demon, half of the blood within him is divine after all, just bring him back to the Heavenly Realm to remove the demon's blood and rehabilitate him properly."

Ning Zhiyu lifted his limp body, sighed in relief and smiled, "Thank you..."

His complexion was so pale that he was blue, and he was bleeding, so he didn't look too good, and he would probably scare the child.

Yan Yuan took out a white handkerchief from his sleeve and handed it to Ning Zhiyu with a short bow. He did not have the habit of carrying a handkerchief with him, but after he had A'Zhi, he often had to wipe the child's mouth and hands, so he would always keep one on him.

"You and I will go to the barrier and bring the child out."

The demons were suppressed underground by the divine power of the Heavenly Emperor, their magic power was gone and they were no threat. When Yan Yuan brought Ning Zhiyu into the demon palace, the demon attendants outside were lying on their backs sleeping, and A'Lie was lying in the middle of the big bed dressed in his robes, with his long hair carefully braided into hundreds of pigtails and spread out at his side.

Previously, Ning Zhiyu had never looked at his child properly, and it was only then that he noticed a tiny tear drop mole at the bottom corner of his eye, growing next to his drooping eyelashes like a bit of ash, which could not be seen unless he looked closely.

Tentatively, he reached out to gently touch the little dumpling's soft face, but stopped when he was about to make contact and withdrew.

Seeing him lost in thought, Yan Yuan explained, "The divine suppression will cause the demons to fall into a deep sleep, he will be fine once we get out."

“En." Ning Zhiyu softly replied, bending down and picking up the little dumpling from the bed.

The little dumpling looked small but was actually heavier than expected and very soft. This was the first time Ning Zhiyu had carried him, so he was a bit clumsy and with his weak body, cold sweat broke out on the corners of his forehead after just a few moments.

Yan Yuan looked at him and said, "Do you want me to help you?"

Ning Zhiyu shook his head and smiled.

Yan Yuan didn't persist, he turned around and walked outside, and when he reached the courtyard, the three of them were on the ground in an instant.

Soon, the little dumpling in Ning Zhiyu's arms woke up gradually. He initially thought he was dreaming and stretched out his little hand to touch his mother's face, which was cold and not warm at all, and asked worriedly, "Mother, why is your face so cold..."

Ning Zhiyu smiled at him, "You're awake."

The little dumpling still did not feel that this was reality, for only in his dreams did his mother smile at him so gently.

He was a little embarrassed to be treated like this by his mother, and nodded with a red face, “En."

There was a light in Ning Zhiyu's eyes as he spoke softly, “A’Lie is a good boy, I was wrong to lose my temper with you in the past, I will apologise to you today. I am sorry."

The wind blew Ning Zhiyu's long hair, and with his white clothes, he looked like an immortal who could not stand the wind. The little dumpling always thought his mother was very beautiful.

His father always said that his mother was weak, so A'Lie had to be gentle with him and not make him sad, and he remembered that when he saw his mother crying, he would use his little hand to wipe the tears from his face.

“A'Lie is not angry with Mother, don’t cry, Mother."

“Don’t cry, Mother..."

Although he knew it was a dream, A'Lie still followed his mother and his eyes became wet. It is said that mother and son are linked by heart; even though his mother has never loved him, he can be happy with what his mother likes and sad about what she is sad about.

Ning Zhiyu could not hold the little boy in his arms any longer and was afraid of dropping him, so he lowered him to the ground and squatted down to hug his little body, smiling and saying, "You are just like your father, you are very magnanimous..."

In fact, Mo Zun was never magnanimous, he was always vengeful, he only treated Ning Zhiyu with leniency; he never really got angry when he was being insulted, and even when he did become angry, he didn't really want to hurt him.

The little dumpling learned all this from his father.

There was an emotion in Ning Zhiyu's eyes that A'Lie could not understand; no matter how intelligent he was and how well he had been taught by Mo Zun, he was still too young.

"A’Lie, do you see that uncle in white?" Ning Zhiyu looked at Yan Yuan's back in the distance and spoke.

When they came out from below, he said he wanted to have a few words with the child alone before he went back, so Yan Yuan avoided them and was talking about something with a few gods at the moment.

A'Lie looked over following Ning Zhiyu's gaze and nodded, "Mother, A’Lie saw them."

Ning Zhiyu lifted his hand and touched his face, smiling, "From now on, A’Lie must be good and obedient, and follow this uncle to learn the immortal arts. Forget about the past."

A’Lie turned his head in confusion and looked at his mother, "Why should the past be forgotten?..." And why should he learn spells from another uncle? He had his own father who would teach him.

"The past is the past. Living in this world, you have to look forward, you can’t always think about the past.” Ning Zhiyu stroked A’Lie’s forehead and spoke ambiguously.

A’Lie nodded with seeming understanding, "... What about Mother and Father?"

Ning Zhiyu: "Mother and Father... are going somewhere."

He was usually either cold-faced or hysterical towards Mo Zun and the child, and rarely had such a calm moment. The mother in A’Lie’s dreams did smile a lot, but never like this, this was a smile with a kind of unspeakable emotion that made A'Lie inexplicably uncomfortable.

He whispered, "Where? A’Lie will also go, can I..."

Ning Zhiyu was about to answer when a divine general came over and reminded him that it was getting late and that it was time to return to the Heavenly Realm, and that it would not be too late to say anything on the road.

The divine general's face was icy cold, as he was disgusted with Ning Zhiyu's appearance, and he left after finishing his speech.

The little dumpling formed a demonic blade in his hand and was about to go after him, and his cold, demonic red eyes were just like his father's. Ning Zhiyu grabbed him before he could scamper off.

A’Lie turned around, his hostility dissipating, and mumbled, "Mother..."

Ning Zhiyu sighed: "Didn't I tell you to be obedient in the future, you must not do evil and hurt others, and you must learn immortal arts and do good deeds."

A'Lie knew he had made a mistake and hung his head, "But Father said that no one in this world could bully Mother, and if anyone did, they would be killed."

Ning Zhiyu was stunned, and his eyes reddened a little as he looked at the yellow sand raised by the wind in the distance, "People will always make mistakes in life. Just because they make a mistake, you can't refuse to forgive them.... We must learn to be forgiving to others and forgiving to ourselves."

"Give others a chance, why not give yourself a chance..."

What his mother said, his father had never taught him. A'Lie did not understand much, but since it was taught by his mother, it was right, and he took it seriously to heart.

His mother's face was so gentle, he wished he could never wake up from his dream...

"A'Lie, give your demonic blade to Mother." Ning Zhiyu smiled and extended his hand towards the little dumpling.

A'Lie returned to his senses, looked down at his mother's palm, "Why?..."

"Mother will keep it for you. When you perform well in the future, Mother will return it to you."

The trust that Ah Ling had in his mother was never less than that of his father, and he did not doubt him as he gently placed the black and red demonic blade, which was glowing with black and red demonic energy, into Ning Zhiyu's palm. It was exactly the same as Mo Zun's, only smaller in size.

"Then Mother has to keep it well for A'Lie..." The little body snuggled into his mother's arms.

"Mmm." Ning Zhiyu stroked his back and then pushed him away gently.

"It's getting late, A'Lie should go and find your Uncle Yan."

It was not always possible for him to dream of his mother. A'Lie refused to go with a stranger, but Ning Zhiyu coaxed him, saying that he was going to look for his father and that he would catch up with him once he found him.

A'Lie was obedient as always and took one step back. He did not want to leave such a gentle mother, and stopped to look back for a long time after taking one step.

Ning Zhiyu looked at his small back with a smile and said:

"A'Lie."

"Don't turn around."

When his mother told him not to turn back, he held back and didn't turn back. After walking for a while, he couldn't resist the urge to turn back, and he heard his mother speak again:

"Remember, no matter what happens, don't look back, if you do, Mother will be angry with you and never speak to you again."

It was really his mother, he knew what A'Lie was afraid of.

A'Lie did as he was told and didn't turn around until he heard the sound of brocade ripping.

Everyone's movements stopped and they looked behind A'Lie with an astonished expression.

The demonic blade was bloodthirsty and complemented its master. Whenever it drank blood, its master would instantly feel the magical power rise in his body.

A'Lie hesitantly stopped in place, and with an extremely slow speed, little by little, bit by bit, he turned around and looked towards Ning Zhiyu.

"Mother..."

His mother looked no different from before, except that there was a demonic blade sticking out of his left chest, and blood was staining his white clothes with large red flowers, which were so beautiful that they were blinding.

It was the one he had handed to his mother.