CH 140

It's All in the Past

As the 15th approached, the whole Heavenly Realm was busy with preparations for the Emperor's wedding, but Yan Yuan himself stayed in his bedchamber all day, not worrying about anything.

In the afternoon, the weaver fairy brought over the wedding clothes, which were bright red and embroidered with golden threads and auspicious clouds, and neatly folded on a jade tray.

In his long life, he had been married twice, once fifty thousand years ago to his beloved, and once when he fell into the mortal world and misidentified his lover, destroying his beloved with his own hands.

After going round and round, what he wanted most was the stupid dragon that had followed him since he was a child, but unfortunately he was not lucky enough. He had promised to spend ten thousand lifetimes together, but failed to do so, and could no longer hold Xuan Long's hand and live out his long life.

He had no choice but to let go.

And he himself had to let go.

The wedding dress was beautiful; it was the same dress he had worn fifty thousand years ago when he married Xuan Long.

Yan Yuan rose from behind the silver desk and walked to the fairy's side, his fingertips slowly falling on the delicate gold threads of the wedding robe.

When he found the wedding robe a few days ago, he noticed that the gold threads were tangled in a few places, so he asked the weaver fairy to fix it.

Yan Yuan still remembered the scene on that day when he and Xuan Long first made their love contract in front of the Three Lives Stone, and then made an eternal vow to the Heavenly Way in front of the gods at the Purple Cloud Sky Palace.

Who knew that only fifty thousand short years had passed and things were already very different.

"Emperor? Emperor?..."

The fairy used her voice transmission technique to call Yan Yuan several times before Yan Yuan returned to his senses.

"Emperor, you wore this wedding robe when you were married to General Xuan Long, now that you are marrying a new empress, is it not inappropriate to wear this old robe?..."

Yan Yuan smiled, rubbing his fingertips on the wedding robe: "There is nothing inappropriate... he should, not mind."

He was clearly smiling, but it did not look like he was in a good mood. The fairy saw him say so and did not say any more. After a while, Yan Yuan took the jade tray from the fairy and ordered everyone to leave.

The door was gently closed and the only two people left in the hall were the father and son. Yan Yuan took his seat behind the silver desk and A'Zhi sat beside him, staring at the wedding robe on the table.

"Father..."

Yan Yuan twisted his head to look at the little boy.

"They say you're going to take a wife."

"En."

"What about Mother?..."

Seeing the little boy with a tearful expression, Yan Yuan felt amused and reached out to take him into his arms, "Mother will have a better time alone."

"Father won't coax Mother?" A'Zhi asked with his little face resting on Yan Yuan's shoulder.

Yan Yuan: "Mm."

A'Zhi: "Why?..."

Yan Yuan smiled, "Father is useless, he can't coax him back."

A'Zhi became anxious and let go of Yan Yuan's neck to look at him, "Father has only been coaxing for a few days, how can you give up? What if one day Mother is not angry anymore? What if Father marries someone else, what should Mother do..."

Yan Yuan softly asked, "A'Zhi, tell me what I should do."

The little boy spoke with red eyes, "A'Zhi does not want Father to marry someone else..."

Yan Yuan said softly but solemnly, "Okay."

"Father will only marry your mother."

A'Zhi: "Really?"

"Mm."

"Then Father must continue to coax Mother and get his forgiveness quickly."

"Okay."

"I'll listen to A'Zhi."

Having received Father's affirmative answer, A'Zhi relaxed a little and wrapped his arms around Father's neck, leaning on his shoulder and talking about how he had recently learnt several new techniques, trying to make his father happy.

After returning from the Divine South Ridge that day, Yan Yuan and Xuan Long had not seen each other again. He promised Xuan Long that he would try to avoid him, so he followed through with his promise and did not want to disturb his peace and quiet.

It was natural to miss him to the bone, but he restrained himself, only getting little bits of news about Xuan Long from A'Zhi, such as what style of clothing he was wearing, what kind of breakfast he had, and how his appetite was.

If it was destined that they would never see each other again, it was already a luxury for Yan Yuan to receive such sporadic and unimportant news.

However, the feelings that could truly be suppressed could not be called feelings. On the night before the wedding, Yan Yuan could not resist going to General Xuan Hall.

He wanted to see him, even if it was for the last time.

If he could leave some memories in Xuan Long's heart that counted as good, and wash away some of those unpleasant pasts, then it would be good. It didn't matter if he was unable to, he just wanted to see him.

Outside the silver and white hall were two immortal eunuchs who, upon seeing Yan Yuan appear, bowed respectfully to him. Yan Yuan looked in through the doorway, which was pure silver and couldn't see anything.

"Has he... gone to sleep."

"In reply to the Emperor's words, the General went to bed early this evening after bathing."

Yan Yuan's eyes retracted from the door, "Sleeping ah..."

"The General's health has been much worse since his return from the mortal world. The cracks in his soul have not healed for a long time, and he often suffers from attacks of illness and pain. He was wounded in the last battle, so he has been sleeping early recently."

The corners of Yan Yuan's eyes were red and he said hoarsely, "Does he often have attacks of illness and pain..."

"From time to time, his face is pale and he sweats all over, but the General is able to endure it and does not allow others to watch him when he has an attack. Only when the pain has passed does he order the fairies to prepare hot water for bathing..."

As the immortal eunuch was speaking, the door behind her was suddenly opened and Lian Bi came out from inside with a cold face, reprimanding the immortal eunuch, "Why are you talking to the Emperor about this? The Emperor has a lot of things to do everyday, how can he have time to listen to this?" The words were addressed to the immortal eunuch, and her eyes were fixed on Yan Yuan.

"The General has gone to bed early, please go back, Emperor, our General does not need pretentious people coming here..."

"Lian Bi."

A man's faint voice came from inside the hall, and Lian Bi forced her mouth to stop before she could finish her sneering, looking resentful.

No matter how low the people around Xuan Long might be to Yan Yuan, he couldn't make a fuss and just stood there letting Lian Bi talk.

Yan Yuan could not hear Xuan Long's words because he had not used his voice transmission technique. It was not until Xuan Long asked him what was wrong that Yan Yuan reacted and stepped forward, calling down to the door, "A'Po..."

Xuan Long did not answer.

Yan Yuan knew that he was waiting for him to speak. However, at such a time, he could not say too many nice words, he just wanted to see him.

Close to the door, with tears in his eyes, he said, "I have released nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine floating lanterns over the East Sea, I will take you to see them, okay?..."

The floating lanterns were bought from the mortal world. One by one, they were lit by hand, then placed in the sky and fueled by divine power to maintain the candles overnight without falling.

They still had one more night.

"The Emperor is getting married tomorrow, he should properly prepare for the marriage and not waste his energy by doing irrelevant things." Said the man in the hall.

"Go away."

"I don't want to marry anyone else, I only want to marry you, A'Po... these days, I miss you very much." There are some words that, if he did not say them, it would be too late, but even if he did, they would be meaningless. At least at this moment, Yan Yuan was happy.

Xuan Long: "Please be careful with your words and actions, Emperor, don't say things that will cause misunderstanding."

Once close to each other, sharing the same bed, now distant to such an extent, even if there was half of the love left, it would be sad, not to mention that Yan Yuan's love was so deep that it hurt to the core of his heart.

With tears in his eyes, he smiled, "Okay, if you don't like to hear it... I won't say anything."

"Then let's talk about something happy, okay?..."

"I was happy to be with you as husband and wife, and I am happy to have A'Zhi with you. I was wrong about everything in the past, and it seems that I have not properly said sorry to you since you returned from the mortal world... Today I am saying to you that I was wrong, and I am sorry."

"A'Po… I'm sorry."

Xuan Long was dressed in profane clothes, his long hair cascading down his side as he sat leaning against the bed. He and Yan Yuan were separated by a door, Yan Yuan could not see him, and he could not see Yan Yuan, and the candlelight in the hall was shadowy, and it was empty and silent.

"… It's all in the past."

He said it's all in the past.

How could it be in the past?

In Yan Yuan's opinion, this life could not pass unless he died. When he died and knew nothing more, it will be in the past.

That night, Yan Yuan rambled on for a long time with Xuan Long, who, though he did not drive him away, did not want to see him. If he used the power of the Heavenly Emperor, there was no corner of the Nine Heavens he could not go to, he just did not want to force him like that again.

Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine floating lanterns finally fell into the East Sea at the break of dawn, and Yan Yuan's fingertips touched the closed doorway as he said goodbye to the person inside.

"A'Po... I'm leaving."

"You have to learn to take care of yourself. If your body is not comfortable, ask the healer to come over, don't hold back. If you have any illness or pain, let A'Zhi know, he will cry."

He didn't know whether Xuan Long was asleep or just didn't want to bother with him anymore and didn't reply.

"A'Po..." Yan Yuan called out to him quietly, as if he had lost something.

Xuan Long finally answered him, "Please speak, Emperor."

"It's nothing... I just want to call out to you." Yan Yuan smiled. "If you answer me, I will be happy."