Chapter 27 Resolve

Lee Seng held the bokken with his left hand. He twirled it a couple of times before lifting it up to his eye level. He could feel the vibration start in his hand and imagined the monochrome waves of Dark Matter flowing into the whole blade. The vibrating feeling quickly enveloped the blade and Lee Seng's eyes went towards Akio who was watching patiently.

"All done?" Akio asked. Lee Seng nodded. Akio lifted his and in an instant, shadows enveloped the blade. He turned the blade and lifted it up towards eye level as well. "Infuse the bokken with your power. Imagine what you want it to do. What effect it'll have when you swing." He turned the bokken and quickly swung in the air. A arc of shadow flew out and dissipated ten feet away from him.

"The basic infusion is what I just demonstrated. You basically infuse the blade with your power and then imagine it arcing out. In your case, you want to imagine the strike connecting with your enemy and then pushing them away." Akio explained. Lee Seng bit his lip and nodded. It was pretty much straight forward, so hard hard could it be? He turned to the right and lowered the blade to his side.

"Room, implement target dummy ten feet away from me." Lee Seng commanded. The room flickered and beeped and a dummy materialized ten feet away from Lee Seng.

"Let's start with a melee strike and see where that goes." Akio motioned over to the dummy. Lee Seng walked over to the dummy and lifted his sword.

'Gravity envelops the blade and when I hit the dummy... It hits harder' Lee Seng thought. He made his stance and felt the vibration energy. He swung the sword at the dummy and the sword bounced back. He shook his head in disappointment and took a couple steps back. With a twirl and spin, Lee Seng swung the sword to hit the dummy. The sword felt suddenly heavier and missed the dummy by a couple inches.

"Damn it," Lee Seng muttered. He glanced at the bokken and checked to see if he cracked or shattered the wooden blade. Everything seemed alright so he twirled the blade again. He readied himself for another strike and swung at the dummy. The sword became heavier and missed the dummy again.

Akio watched as Lee Seng continued making strikes at the dummy with no success. He found himself slowly walking around Lee Seng and the dummy to understand what was happening.

'His strikes miss the last moment. Besides the first strike, the others didn't hit. I don't think the first strike was a success either. His form isn't messed up either. Maybe he's shifting the weight too early and it's causing him to miss?' Akio thought. He stood to the side of the dummy and Lee Seng and watched Lee Seng perform the same action again.

Lee Seng swung and then midway through the swing, the sword missed the dummy be a couple of inches. Akio nodded and let out a sigh.

"Lee," Akio said. Lee Seng looked up and Akio motioned him over. "I have an idea what might be happening here. I think you're infusing your power but because of it, you're activating it too early and it looks like your strike became heavier."

"I'm activating it too early?" Lee Seng pondered. "So maybe I need to activate it mid-swing?" Lee Seng looked up for some sort of approval. Akio shrugged.

"If you can figure out the correct timing, I think the swing of the strike and the delayed activation would probably work. Give it a try." Akio pointed at the dummy. Lee Seng turned back to the dummy and felt the familiar vibration feeling engulf his hand and the blade.

'Mid-swing activate the power.' Lee Seng reminded himself. He took his stance and swung the blade. Midway through, Lee Seng felt the vibration increase and watched as his strike sliced the dummy in half.

"Oh my god," Lee Seng gasped in surprised. He pulled the sword up, releasing his power from it and twirled the sword.

"I guess your theory was correct," Akio admitted. "Now you need to be able to do it without thinking about it." Akio lifted his sword towards Lee Seng and grinned. "A moving target would work best." Lee Seng grinned and turned to face Akio.

"You're actually going to spar with me?" Lee Seng asked excitedly. He jumped side to side in excitement.

"Let's see if you can hit me. I'll even put a handicap on myself and not use my power."

"Hey, that isn'--"

Akio rushed towards Lee Seng. His demeanor switched from carefree to serious in an instant. He started a barrage of attacks at Lee Seng, who struggled to keep up with the blocks. Akio kept up the barrage of attacks and Lee Seng slowly started to back away, struggling to keep the blows to his body to a minimum.

"You're form's lacking!" Akio shouted. He swung at Lee Seng's side and hit him and continued the next swing. "Your opponent could get the upper-hand on you and you're thinking of what to do?" Akio found another open spot and landed a strike to Lee Seng's leg. Lee Seng stumbled backwards and grew nervous. Akio twirled the bokken in his hand and held his stance. "I thought you said you were a 'master' at wielding the Sword. I guess being a 'master' has lowered with the next generation."

Lee Seng gritted his teeth and took his stance. Akio was actually being serious with Lee Seng and this scared him. Akio was always carefree, but why did he switch? Lee Seng dashed forward and swung at Akio. Akio blocked and pushed away. Lee Seng stumbled backwards and in an instant Akio was already striking Lee Seng across the chest. Lee Seng yelped in pain as Akio landed three strikes on him and stumbled onto the ground. Akio pointed the bokken at Lee Seng and shook his head.

"Wanna quit now?" Akio asked. Lee Seng felt his anger and fear grow larger. His hands shook and he wanted to look away. Akio took a step forward and shook his head. "You reek of fear. If you really want to be useful, maybe you should just stay here." Lee Seng's heart dropped.

'What is he doing? Isn't this a spar? Why is he--'

Akio whipped the sword and sent a strike from above. The bokken whacked loudly onto the ground and Akio shook his head. Lee Seng felt the world closing around him.

'What are you... Why are you...' Lee Seng looked up at Akio who looked at him with some sort of disgust. He looked distant, different and nothing like the Akio he knew. Akio sighed and lifted his bokken and took a couple steps back. He felt bad for switching on Lee Seng like this, but the only way he saw Lee Seng breaking past this was only with the discipline he wished he used on his younger brother sooner.

Lee Seng's grip on the bokken loosened and he looked down at the ground. He could see wood splinters where Akio had struck earlier. Lee Seng felt the world close in on him, yet his mind couldn't produce a single thought. He felt stuck on something.

"Where's your resolve?" Akio asked loudly. Lee Seng jumped in his skin. His hand was hovering over the bokken but he didn't know what to do. "If you can't find your resolve then you do deserve to be here with your Father." Akio gulped. He didn't enjoy throwing insult after insult at Lee Seng but he needed to be sure of something.

'My resolve?' Lee Seng thought. Lee Seng's hand slowly pulled away from the bokken and his legs started to come inwards towards his body. He wanted out. He didn't want this anymore. The fear grew and grew and he felt the darkness cover the light around him. His brown eyes slowly melted into a single red and blue eye.

"And is that really your answer?" Keng asked. Lee Seng huddled in a fetal position and the light around him was black again. There was no white or gray, only darkness. Keng shook his head. He made his way towards Lee Seng. Grays and white colors splashed out with each step he took. Lee Seng could feel the red and blue eyed fox coming closer. He shifted in his spot and tried to look away but Keng quickly leapt and headbutted Lee Seng.

"Oww, what the hell!" Lee Seng groaned in pain. He clutched his head and Keng whacked Lee Seng across his head with his tail and looked away at his human counterpart.

"You really don't know what you want. You just said all those things because there's so much expectations on you. And here I thought you would gather souls for me." Keng pouted. Lee Seng lifted his head to look at Keng who was turning away.

"I'm just a liar, right?" Lee Seng shouted. "I thought you believed in me but I guess not even my own spirit animal would want to be with me, anyways!" Lee Seng sat up and rested his head on his arms and knees. "Everyone expects so much from someone who doesn't have anything to call his own. I'm just a nobody. A four-year nobody who got his powers because he just had some dumb luck. Which, by the way, I can't even remember because you won't tell me!"

"So you want me to hand you it on a golden platter?!?" Keng growled. He whipped himself around and tilted his head at Lee Seng. "You desperately called for a second chance at things and once it was given to you, you decide you don't really have 'what it takes' to be given that."

"I never thought it would be this hard! I never thought it would be so frustrating to keep getting my assed kicked. To keep on taking the blows that I know I should be able to block! The last two weeks have been hard. Nobody believes I can do it. You're even having seconds thoughts about me, right?!?"

Keng growled loudly and barked loudly. He began stomping around like he was throwing a tantrum and shook himself.

"AHHH, you're so frustrating!" Keng screamed. Lee Seng shook his head in disbelief. He turned away and stared at the black abyss. Glimmers of white and grays moved around the abyss and Lee Seng's eyes quietly followed it.

"You say one thing but you really mean the other," Keng broke the silence. Lee Seng listened for Keng's paw patter, but heard nothing. "If you truly believed all of the things you were saying, your eyes wouldn't be following the little strands of hope you see."

"Shut up, it's opposite to the black around here, so it's easier to follow." Lee Seng muttered. Keng started over towards Lee Seng. Lee Seng listened intently. He desperately wanted to move forward, but it felt like more expectations were being put on him.

'How do I even describe that?' Lee Seng pondered.

"The last four years you've been running. You're tiring yourself out by acting like everything is fine. Just say it aloud."

"Say what?"

"The last four years were the shittiest years of your life."

Lee Seng froze. He yearned for those words. He yearned for someone to tell him that, but facing that reality meant facing everything. His hands began to shake and he felt like his chest was going to explode. He felt alone. He wished to be alone all these years and now that things have changed, he was starting to second guess himself. Lee Seng's mind raced through every nook and cranny for an excuse but he felt cornered. A soft bushy tail wrapped around Lee Seng's hands. Lee Seng glanced up with tears filling his eyes and Keng was in front of him.

"You're cornered like you wished you could have been before, but now you feel even more horrible, huh?" Keng asked. Lee Seng's tears fell and he nodded. "Don't wait to be cornered to say something. If you aren't okay with it, then say it. There's a hope that is burning in here. It yearns to burn long and bright. You just need to let it."

"How could I though? That means I have to deal with everything and I don't know if I could..."

"If humans were truly supposed to be efficient and deal with everything all at once, what would be the point of living a life on this Earth?" Keng asked. Lee Seng looked up.

"Did you just...?"

"Your Mom said that, right? She must've been a real smart woman cause it's true. If you were supposed to be these efficient and non-flawed people, then what's the point? So what if you don't know how to do everything correctly or know how to be the perfect son or perfect brother or perfect whatever?" Keng shrugged.

"What matters is how you perceive yourself and accept yourself. If you have a TINY sliver of hope that it'll be better, then hold onto it tightly. Let it grow into something beautiful. That's what I think anyways. I only understand you because I've seen, heard and went through everything you've went through.

"That's why I said I'll reap the rewards later. If you can trust me and let me in and move forward in these two weeks, I can only imagine what you'll be like in a year." Keng let go of Lee Seng's hands with his tail and jumped up. Lee Seng grabbed him in surprise and the two tumbled onto the floor together. Keng's warm energy made Lee Seng feel not so hopeless.

"So what should I do? If I can't deal with everything at once then what should I do?" Lee Seng asked.

"Hmmm," Keng wondered. He glanced around him for awhile before looking at Lee Seng again. "You trust me because of our agreement, right?"

Lee Seng nodded.

"Well, if that's the case, just trust me. Don't hide our red right eye and blue left eye."