Chapter 35: Loser

Chapter 35: Loser

Over the next day, the thought of that psycho haunted me. I shifted my focus. I wasnt strong enough and didnt have what I needed to protect myself or the people I cared about. What would I do if he went after my family? The thought alone hurt worse than him stabbing a knife into my gut.

For the first time in my life, I sat down and made a list of things to accomplish.

First, I handed Ma over half of what I made from the alchemist job. Kayson paid us all very wellpartly because he felt terrible about how it went down and, I think, because he realized I was struggling for money. With Tristan, the jobs provided a small yet steady income stream, but this was the first time since the switch that Kayson paid out, thanks to the trouble I kept finding myself in.

Kayson was a better leader than that psycho fuck ever could bescheduling meetings once a month to check-in one on one, promising to treat me to my favorite restaurant. Trying to make me more included with the squad. The attention made me uncomfortable, but it was just his style.

So it was with a heavy heart I told him that the next two weeks were mine. Only for training. All of the risks, all of the fighting with Romeo, all of the working my ass off. My Soul Seeds roots had spread wide. I still didnt know what my Dao was. It wasnt gambling, but I didnt think it was risk either. Regardless, I felt it thrum with more intense power than ever before. Almost painfully swollen. Immortals know I needed to put myself on even footing with that psycho sooner rather than later.

Kayson understood, wished me well, and cut back any assignments from the squad. When he spoke of cultivation, there was something in his eyes I couldnt place. Almost wistful, even with the war, he let me pursue my path.

The squad was a little more reluctant to let me be. Eve complained that I was being irresponsible, that they could use me to soak up more punches. Bruno promised to check in every couple of days at my house. And Suzaki meekly wished me well, telling me not to break any bones. I was getting the feeling that twerp didnt expect me to walk out of my house without a serious injury.

With that squared away, I made my way to Romeos apartment; for the first time, I arrived at the fancy place in the middle of the day. The people operating the desk made a call, and an attendant escorted me up.

Romeo sat on his couch, reclined in a simple white buttoned shirt. He tilted his head. You should be at school, no? Yet why is it I see you here, passerotto?

Ill cut to the chase. I need to get stronger.

Ah, so this is why youve arrived. I wondered how long it would take before this conversation. Your blood has called to you.

Ive got two weeks. Can ya help me break past into the next stage? Is it even possible?

Romeo leaned back, tipping his head and considering me. A cool sensation ran across my skinit seemed like he was looking past me and directly at my Soul Seed. He began to nod his head.

It will be hard, and you may fail. But your Soul Seed has grown strong. It is a matter of if you can understand it in time and have the willpower to push past everything. Did you bring the jade bottle with you?

I shivered, dropping the bag in my hand. Full of clothes and the few possessions Id need. Ma didnt know it yet, but I didnt intend to come back until I broke through the bottleneck. She wasnt a cultivator and wouldnt understand. But he did. I stared at my Uncle, bringing out the jade bottle hed given me when he walked back into my life; Romeo gave a simple smile.

Very good. We shall begin, yes?.New novel chapters are published on

Whwhat are you talking about? My head bobbed on the couch. I fought a war against the urge to lay down and close my eyes. Itd be so easy, to just find a bit of rest. Id earned it, hadnt I?

You have not. This is fine. This next weekwe shall balance your traininghalf of it as pure sparring. I will not hold back on you either, especially since you will be meditating for the rest."

Excuse me? I came here to get stronger, not sit around.

This is vital; to ascend past the bottleneck you must understand your dao. Seek enlightenment. To push you past this stage without understanding the most basic aspect of your animawhy, I could not live with myself passerotto. Nowsit still, and listen well.

I sat back, and he told me for the fifth time how to meditate correctly. Detailed directions on how to inhalecirculate the energy through my Soul Seed, then follow that energy along its path as it flooded through my Soul Roots. Painfully boring. If I fell asleep, he knew. He'd wake me back up with a swift slap to the face. It was hard not to fall asleep with the physical exhaustion from the training and vague directions like: Feel and consider the Soul Seed. Why was it given to you? As if I fucking knew. Or could know.

So, the schedule was an hour of pure meditation. Then an hour of pain. By the end of each hour, I desperately wanted the other, only to discover that it just got worse each time in a cycle of awfulness.

I was able to map out the way the Soul Roots ran through meand damn, I knew Id been approaching my bottleneck, but they spread like weeds, practically choking one another out. Wound, tangled, and everywhere in me. A maze that I had plenty of time to explore with the forced hours of meditation.

Even with the meditation, I didnt feel closer to understanding the purpose of my Soul Seed. It seemed like a meaningless pursuit. Yet Romeo insisted and I promised to follow each of his instructions. Despite my failures, Romeo didnt have the capacity for annoyance. Time would reveal all, he said. But, as the week came close to an end, I began to get antsy; if I failed to understand my Dao, Romeo wouldnt allow me to breakthrough.

As the desperation sank in, it became harder to focus during those moments of meditation. A cycle that spiraled further until I became sure Id fail. Romeo would ship me back home to Ma, and then in two weeks, whatever evil shit Tristan had up his sleeves would come to pass.

As the time ran up, Romeo ordered me into the car. I was an anxious mess, sure that I would head home a failure and without a backup plan.

Instead of heading to Southside, we went to the Rust Dockslanding near a dock where Romeo walked us out to a pearl white boat. Romeo gestured to it, unusually chipper. When we return to this land, you shall be a man.

I shot him blank eyes. Thrown off guard, Id been sure Id failed him completely. Id expected a ride to my house with some disappointed speech towards me. Not a boat ride.

Come, get on. No point in explaining. This may take a couple more days, but I feel it. Youre close passerotto; you need a little push to shove you off that edge, no?

He gave me a wicked grin that I didnt quite trust. But, Id tied my lifeline to him, and Id go with whatever he had up his sleeve; if it meant Id be stronger, Id do damn near anything. I looked at Romeomy Uncle, whod taken himself away for two weeks to see me through on the first step of my path. He was blood, and I could trust him. I Id spent too long trying to get stronger by myself. Without others to help me. But what had that self-imposed isolation gotten me?

Now? When I finally started to lean on other people? They kept pulling through for me; they helped me move forward in a way I never thought possible. If I failed today, the next day, or even the day after. I had people in my corner rooting me on.

Id pull through for them. No matter how hard it was, even if it tore me apart to do it. With a slow nod, I hopped into the boat. Romeo joined me, starting the engine and driving far off the shore. The sun felt warm on this cloudless day. The last time Id been on a boat was back when Pops was still alive. Funny, I never realized how much Id missed it.