Book 3. Chapter 38

Book 3. Chapter 38

Before they could completely leave the marketplace, a man started shouting. His voice cut through the air like a knife, making it clear that Skills were at work. This was a professional. Looking around for the source of the disturbance, Brin saw him up above.

A neat little platform on top of a staircase rose above the market on the far side, and the shouting man looked very official. He wore a blue uniform with bits of stylized armor, a shining silver breastplate, greaves and shinguards, and a winged helmet. [Inspect] called him a [Herald].

Most people in the square turned to watch him, though a few determined people kept to their haggling. The quality of his voice itched against Brin’s Mental Resistance and made it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

Just to be stubborn, he pretended to ignore the [Herald] and asked, “Who’s that? Is [Herald] different from a [Crier]?”

“Way different,” said Davi. “[Criers] work for the city, but they’ll mostly say whatever anyone pays them to say. You can even hire them to run advertisements. [Heralds], though, only work for the king. That man up there is the same rank as a [Knight].”

So it sounded like this was the equivalent of a national news outlet rather than a local one. Or maybe more like a propaganda bulletin.

“And he just gets to shout at us all and we have to take it?”

Davi shrugged. “You don’t have to. You can ignore him if you can ignore him.”

“Hush, I’m trying to listen!” said Zilly.

“--completely safe. In fact, a caravan arrived in town only yesterday, which completed a successful circuit of the entirety of the boglands without a single death or injury. Even solo travelers have been seen entering the city! Monster sightings have become extremely scarce, and the crown is pleased to announce that all bandits in the area have been killed or captured. There has never been a better time for trade and commerce!”

Davi snorted in amusement, and Sion actually laughed.

“Whoa. What’s this guy on?” asked Brin.

Zilly snickered. “No injury? Wow, awesome to learn I didn’t get any injuries. Someone tell all these scabs to close up, because apparently they don’t exist.”

“Technically you weren’t part of the caravan,” said Brin.

“Yeah, but lots of other people in the caravan got injured. Plus, what’s this garbage about solo travelers?”

“Technically you were a solo traveler,” said Brin.

Zilly shook her head. “It’s a bunch of rot is what it is.”

The [Herald] continued. “His excellency King Lancarote, High King of Frenaria, is pleased to announce victory over the Queendom of Arcaena. Their army in the Boglands was found and destroyed in its totality by a group of brave heroes, led by the [Archmage] Lumina! Arcaena’s total surrender is currently being negotiated by our allies in Olland, but the crown expects nothing less than a world finally free of [Witches]!”

These lies were a little less easy to snark away. He looked at Zilly, but she just shook her head in disgust.

That was the story they were going with? Because that undead army was still out there. They’d destroyed a significant amount of undead in Hammon’s Bog, but that was only a fraction of what Arcaena could bring to bear since they’d found a Burrow Kingdom. And he knew the King knew about that; he’d told Lumina and she’d sent messengers back to the capitol immediately. Why were they acting like it was all over? The fact that they had no idea where the bulk of Arcaena’s army was should have everyone scurrying around looking for a trace. Instead they’d chosen to hide their heads in the sand.

And why was the [Herald] not mentioning Hammon’s Bog? He was saying the undead weren’t an issue, but Brin’s hometown had fought an entire war against them. There was no way Frenaria had swept it under the rug. In fact, Brin knew they hadn’t, because word of their war with the undead is what had convinced all those recent immigrants to join them. Most had been from other smaller Bog towns, but a few had been from here in Oud’s Bog.

The [Herald] did eventually speak about Hammon’s Bog, but then Brin wished he hadn’t.

“Never to say that we can lower our vigilance. We must never let our total victory against the undead lead us to complacency, as a small town called Harmon’s Bog recently learned. Their casualness and relaxitude led to a small outbreak of undead that left more than a dozen dead, and was only brought to a close by swift action by kingdom officials!”

The words passed over the group like a dark cloud. Brin felt himself go cold, while Zilly grimaced in anger, her eyes wild. Davi clenched his hand around the neck of his Oud so tightly that Brin worried he would break it.

Only Sion was unaffected, although he noticed the effect on the group. “What–?”

“Not here,” said Davi, and turned, marching away.

Brin followed, and they marched up the road, angrily stomping away from the kingdom’s lies. A few people saw the expression on Davi’s face and his quick pace and moved out of the way.

“I take it there were quite a few more casualties than twelve?” asked Sion.

“Add a zero to that number there, chief. And then double it,” said Brin.

“Ah.”

"He didn't even get our name right. He called us Harmon's Bog," Zilly fumed.

"There must be another town called Harmon's Bog. Because that didn't sound like us at all," Brin said.

The walked in furious silence for another block until Sion asked, "What really happened?"

Davi spoke. “They cut us off, a silent embargo hiding in the forest. They never announced themselves, we just knew that anyone who went into the forest wouldn’t come back. It went on for months like that. When they finally came, they were ten thousand strong. Armored undead soldiers, archers, even giants. They hacked at our gates from the outside while their [Witch] infiltrators undermined our defenses from the inside. When Lumina arrived, our walls had fallen, our best fighters were cursed or dead, and we were huddled up together in the town square for one last stand. We thought the few we could fit in the temple for sanctuary were the only ones who would survive.”

“Whoa. You’ve been practicing that,” said Brin.

Davi snorted in amusement, though still clearly angry at the [Herald’s] fake news. “A little.”

“I’m sorry,” said Sion. “I had no idea it was that bad.”

“It’s fine. Part of this is our fault,” said Davi.

“How so?”

“Well, there’s a reason that Jeffrey hasn’t finished the epic of Hammon’s Bog, and it’s not writer’s block or searching for a muse or any nonsense like that. He says he’s waiting until the time is right.”

“What? That’s stupid,” said Zilly.

“I know!” Davi ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Then he thought better of it and tried to smooth his hair out again.

Brin quickly summoned a cheap card-sized hand mirror and handed it to him, which he used to slightly better success.

“What? Give me one!” said Zilly.

“You can have this one,” said Davi, and handed it over.

Zilly peered at it. “Oh gross. I look like crap. They didn’t have mirrors in the inn I stayed at.”

It did help, actually, but not enough. Brin wanted to stand up on that hill and shout at them, that they were all wrong, that the army was still out there.

Actually, why not do just that? The beginnings of a plan began to form in his mind. He probably shouldn’t. But... he’d spent his entire last life always being normal and playing it safe. Why not do something different now?

“Hey, Davi. Can I borrow your oud?”

“No. But I brought you half-lute.” Davi swung the instrument case around from his back. He’d thought it was for Davi’s oud, but it wasn’t empty. He’d been carrying Brin’s half-lute around the entire time, just in case Brin had volunteered to play with him. Damn, he really should have.

Brin picked it up, and strummed it a couple times. C, G, A minor, F. Pretty much every pop song used that progression, so it was a good place to start and not have to reinvent the wheel.

The lyrics sprang to his mind as if by inspiration. The first verse like this... ok, then the chorus... perfect. He grinned.

“I don’t like this,” said Davi. “What are you planning?”

“Nothing! Just thought I’d try my hand at some music. There’s nothing that says only [Bards] can play, right?”

“Other than common sense?” asked Zilly.

Brin marched up to the top of the hillock and stood facing the rest of the terrace. He made a few practicing strums, and then his nerves nearly made him move back down. No. He was doing this.

He pulled out a glass sphere and set it on the ground in front of him. “Sound amplification,” he explained. Which wasn’t a lie, that really was what he’d be using it for; he just wanted them to assume it was enchanted instead of using his own magic.

“No! That’s super illegal! Stop!” said Davi, but it was too late.

He pushed sound magic through the orb, and then began.

“They call me kukubaru,” Brin sang. It came out halting and questioningly, like he wasn’t sure if he actually was an undead poop-eater.

The sound of his voice thundered through the terrace, and left silence in its wake.

Brin played. Everyone else today had plucked their strings, playing precisely while making sure not to make too much noise. Brin strummed, filling the entire arena with sound.

“OOOOOOH! They call me kukubaru ‘cuz I eat the [Herald’s] words.

I’ll even grab a paper if I’m ready for desert!

I know it’s all disgusting, and it’s really quite absurd,

But they call me kukubaru ‘cuz I eat the [Herald’s] words! Hey!”

Zilly, Davi, and Sion stared at him white-faced and appalled. Every other [Bard] in the terrace had stopped playing, and everyone turned to face him. He smiled.

“Now they say the forests empty and the monsters are all through,

They say the that you can travel so I’d try if I were you,

I will go myself maybe today or might tomorroooooooooo,

I eat all that stuff up, that’s why they call me kukubaru!”

Zilly’s hands were a half-inch away from Brin’s lute, but she’d paused. Not sure if she really should do it. At the same time, it seemed to be dawning on her exactly what he was saying and her dumbfounded expression began to morph to a grin. Davi just looked sick.

“The [Herald] says we’re safe now and I think he must be right,

And you can’t take his words away from me unless you want a fight,

I eat all of what’s foulest and you can’t take it awoooooooooo!

I eat the [Herald’s] words, that’s why they call me kukubaru!

Now lies, you know they taste like dung and smell about the same,

And when they’re going down you know you’ll feel a lot of pain,

But to me they’re sweet and fragrant so that’s why you know it’s true!

I eat the [Herald’s] words (right up!) just like a kukubaru!”

Zilly had started to laugh, and Sion as well. Looking out, many of the people who’d come here for good music were smiling and laughing, having finally found what they were looking for. Others were red-faced and upset, marching towards him with violence in their eyes. Philistines.

He strummed out a blazing solo, and then repeated the first verse.

“I SAID THEY... WHAT? I said they call me kukubaru ‘cuz I eat the [Herald’s] words! Hey!

I’ll even grab a paper if I’m ready for dessert!

I know it’s all disgusting, and it’s really quite absurd,

But they call me kukubaru ‘cuz I eat the [Herald’s] words!”

He wasn’t sure how he was going to end the song, but he was spared that decision when Zilly grabbed his arm and yanked him off the hill.

Brin noticed a whistle for the first time.

“That’s the Watch! We gotta cheese it!”

By now, Davi and Sion had begun to laugh as well, though Davi still looked like he was in shock.

Laughing, the four of them plus Marksi dashed out of the [Bards’] Terrace and down the street.