Chapter 230 - Fluttering Feelings (2)

"Do you like Harrison?"

The gentle breeze suddenly blew, the sound of the leaves rustling was heard. Her hair that was tied in a simple ponytail fluttered along with it, the wind caressed her skin and soothed her. She blinked her eyes multiple times as her gaze remained fixed on the people who were sitting in front of her.

As usual, their knights weren't there so they could talk about whatever they want and not worrying if anyone, aside from them, would hear it.

To be honest, it seems like they had this discussion before. It was during that time when they learned that Maribelle had a crush on Arthur and Amanda told them that she might also have a crush on Harrison. To think that she would still like him after 2 years, how loyal, was what she was thinking earlier while they were talking.

It was like Amanda's crush on Harrison was just a small seed that eventually grew into a huge tree. But it's not like she likes him very much, right?

But what about Alexandra? She remembered asking herself before if she has feelings for Harrison even if it's just one small crush. However, she wasn't sure about her answer and she just let it be. Besides, she was 12 years old back then but have the mentality of an adult woman as she was reincarnated. But, back then in her past life, she didn't fell in love or have a crush on someone. Even if it's just one celebrity that is handsome and everyone looks up to, mainly females.

"W-What do you mean?" Alexandra stuttered out as she forced a smile on her face. Maribelle was just watching them as always but she looked interested. Their focus and attention were now on Alexandra and the topic was if she has feelings for Harrison.

Just earlier, they were talking about Amanda's engagement and how she should break it. She was even asking for help from Alexandra to which she was reluctant and hesitant as she knows what Harrison might answer.

Amanda hummed but there was this cheeky smile seen on her lips and her eyes were sparkling with curiosity, Alexandra was having this bad feeling and she knows that this would take longer. Usually, girls around her age have a crush on someone and they think that the princess might also have one but was just keeping quiet about it.

"I just need to borrow Harrison for a bit like introduce him to my parents and pretend that we're a couple or something even though he doesn't like me but you're being hesitant about it as if you don't like the idea of it," Amanda said, the smile plastered on her face remained. Her eyes were still sparkling like stars in the night sky. Amanda's fingers were intertwined with each other as her elbows were being propped up by the surface of the table, near the almost empty plates of baked sweets like cake and muffins.

Alexandra waved her hands as if she was telling her 'No'.

"I-It's not like that. I would gladly help you, to be honest. But knowing Harrison, I'm sure that he will decline. I already told you that he doesn't like that kind of thing like pretending or something. Besides, he also has someone he likes. I also told you that."

Amanda hummed before a sigh slipped past her lips and she opened her mouth to speak once again. "That is true but there is also this chance that he might agree. Even if it's just small," Was what she said.

Well, she is willing to do anything just to break off this engagement and it might be effective if she did it with another man, like introducing him to her parents but her parents might also arrange an engagement with that man's family. It would be nice if it's Harrison.

"Then what about another man? I'm sure there are tons of other boys out there."

"Can I ask Arthur? I'm sure he would agree."

"No," Maribelle spoke after a few minutes of being silent and just watching them as they converse with each other. Her tone of voice sounded cold and stern. Of course, it's normal that she would respond like that.

"Princess, your response is similar that but much better and gentle," Amanda said, referring to Maribelle's response. The cheeky smile was gone and it was replaced with a pout as she slumped her shoulders.

Alexandra suddenly recalled that one entry in the diary of the 7th Empress.

'I am suffering and I want to escape or run away from this place even though I can't.

If I knew that it would come to this, I should have told him my feelings. Not to that piece of crap, Alistair. Even before I became engaged with that guy, I was in love with someone. I met him when I was a child, it was a small crush at first.

I mean, he's sweet, kind, gentle, and cheeky. He would help me and accompany me. I don't have that many friends when I was a child, my powers or magic awakened early. The girls were afraid of my abilities since I am a wielder of Dark Magic that's why they tend to avoid me but I didn't mind. Some boys would even avoid me.

The people who wield the Holy Magic are being blessed by the Goddesses and Gods while the ones who wield the Dark Magic are being cursed by them.

That is what I always see when I read books about it but I didn't believe it. You should not believe everything that is written on the books, after all. Even the ones about this bloodline are filled with lies and people believe in it which I found ridiculous but you can't blame them.

Moving on, this boy was quite eccentric. Even though I told him to stay away from me, he didn't. He always talks with me and plays with me, I eventually became closer with him and that's probably when my small crush started to develop. And as we grew older and became closer, so does my feelings. I try to hide it and decided to not tell him as to not break the relationship that we have.

It's weird that he is still not engaged with someone even when I already am. It's also weird why she kept on rejecting other girls but keeps on getting close with me.

That is what I always thought.

We don't talk that much anymore ever since I was engaged to the emperor of this land. It was devastating and sad but it can't be helped, I don't want to ruin my image and the piece of crap told me to not be close with other guys or he will kill them in front of me, so I didn't. Alistair is the most disgusting and annoying person that I have ever met. He was worse than a devil. He was much more than that.

Then I learned the fact that the man that I was in love with even up until now has died on the battlefield. That was the most heartbreaking thing. I don't know what to do. I should have told him, I should have told him about my feelings. I was dense and naïve, I didn't know. I have received a letter that he have written and wanted to give me even before the battle, even before I got engaged. He wrote it many years ago and wasn't able to deliver it as he was afraid.

The letter contains his feelings about me.

I am a married woman, grieving, and crying over the death of the person that I loved even up until now.

I should have told him.

23rd day of November, 28th Year of the 7th Emperor.'

That entry broke her heart the most. The ink was smudged, the handwriting was quite messy, there were dried tear droplets seen on the page though it was faint. It was clear that Katelyn was crying while writing that entry and just thinking about it makes her want to cry too. Alexandra still hasn't experienced the feeling of being in love or having a crush on someone or she probably experienced it but was just oblivious about it.

"Fine, I'll try and talk with Harrison and see if he will agree or not," A sigh slipped past Alexandra's lips. Amanda turned her head in her direction and she immediately stood up from her seat, went around the table, making her way towards him, and jumped at her. Amanda engulfed Alexandra in a tight hug, making it hard for her to breathe but she didn't complain as she wrapped one arm around her, patting her back lightly.

"Thank you, thank you! You really are the best, princess! I just hope that he agrees or I will have no choice but to be a rebel and run away," Amanda said in a carefree and cheerful tone of voice as she continued to hug Alexandra.

"Isn't that too much? Running away? Where would you go?" Maribelle said and Amanda loosened her hug around Alexandra before she went back to her seat while responding to Maribelle's question. "I'll probably hide or something, sleep on the streets and such."

"You'll get kidnapped again just like what happened before."

"Then, I'll stay at your house, Mari!"

"No."

"Bummer," Amanda only said before she leaned back against her seat. Alexandra noticed that her cup of tea was already empty and decided to refill it. Amanda's gaze was nailed on Alexandra's direction as there were many thoughts inside her head. Alexandra noticed it but she just ignored her, taking a sip on the cup of tea that she just refilled.

She opened her mouth to speak.

"By the way, princess," Alexandra hummed as a response to her, placing her cup of tea down. Her eyes were wide with wonder and there was this expression on her face that was asking Amanda why she suddenly called her.

"About my question earlier," Amanda paused as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"What about it?"

"You still haven't answered it."

"Well, that's because I don't want to," Alexandra wasn't even sure on what to respond anyway to that question of hers anyways. She wanted to ask her how to tell if you have a crush on someone or you like them, but she knows that they would just tease her about and ask multiple questions instead of answering her. That is quite frustrating, to be honest.

"Unbelievable. Don't you have anyone that you have a crush on, princess? Maybe just a small admiration. I mean, you're being surrounded by good-looking people and I'm sure that some wanted to court you or have sent letters to you."

'Don't you know my father? Although he looks cold and ruthless. He is one doting father. Even though he lets us be and doesn't force us to be engaged with someone, he doesn't like the idea of his daughter being courted by someone or something like that, he would probably punish them or something,' Was what she wanted to say. It's true that her father was quite doting even though he doesn't show it.

"Well, yes. But I'm quite satisfied with my life right now."

Even though she just learned about the shocking truth and revelation about their bloodline a few days ago and was now casually having tea with her friends while talking about the latest news and Amanda's engagement along with some other random topics.

"What about you, Mari? We're the same age but you are still not engaged with someone."

"That's because my parents know that I like Arthur and don't want to force me to be engaged with someone. They are even planning on arranging an engagement with him which I declined. Arthur might don't like it. He is a palace wizard and soon to be Elder."

"That is sad. I guess you will have to marry your plants then."

"That sounds like an insult but I'll just let you be."

Alexandra just watched them with multiple thoughts running inside her head.

How do you tell if you like someone?

Is it every time that you see them, your heart flutters and beat fast? You suddenly become excited and talkative? You can't help but smile and laugh even though there is nothing funny? Will you experience that weird feeling in your stomach? That when they have to leave, you wanted to beg and tell them not to because you still want to talk with them? That when they are there, all of your problems would vanish and you think that you two are the only ones in this world?

If you are with them, you wish time would stop so that you can spend more time with them?

Because if it is that.

Then she does like him.