Chapter 250: Hello World

Chapter 250: Hello World

Do you ever ask yourself whether stealing crutches from a disabled person is morally wrong or not?

You might think its a silly question, but is it, really? Because, when you think about the dignity of a disabled person, you have to do to them what you would to to others. Its like the same principle the church peddles around. How is it, like, dont do to others what others shouldnt do to you? Was it like that? Well, close enough. But if others shouldnt do to you what you shouldnt do to them, then you should do to them what they

I frown while looking at Anneus crutches with great intensity. I think I lost the thread of my thoughts there. The point is, would I do this to a non-disabled person? Probably. Would that, doing it to a non-disabled person, be a douche move? Just a prank. But are pranks something that douchy people do?

The more I think about it, the more this is a moral conundrum. Is there any Jordan Peterson video that tells you whether pranking people is funny or abusive?

What are you looking at? Anneus asks, moving his crutches from between us to his side of the couch.

Who, me? I reply innocently. Just admiring your hunky forms, dear.

Joey, Marcellus complains, we have to finish our part of the research for the essay. Zahra and Sabina are still mad with you.The source of this content nov(el)bi((n))

Mad?

Jealous because you are better at magic than them, Anneus sighs.

Its natural for girls to be jealous of men, Amelia chimes in.

What? Im still confused. They are jealous because Im a professor and a student, or something like that? Well, I mean, I dont really understand the point, but I guess I understand the perspective.

You are very good at Cantrips, Alba says shyly. That makes me jealous as well.

I also had to negotiate my right to stay alive with a bunch of power-hungry [Archmages] who might turn their back on me at any time.

Poor you, Anneus says.

Shall we go back to the research? Marcellus pleads.

Come on, Marcy, this is funnier, I smile.

Lets go back to the research, Anneus points.

Whatever. I sent some inquiries to the royal family, but I didnt get any reply. Bastards. I mean, whats the point of knowing the [Princess] if you cant even get some private interview?

So, [Professor] Aliuna wants us to come to a synthesis of opinions on the conflict and try to give a fresh point of view of what happened, Marcellus intercepts the conversation once again.

[Professor] Aliuna is a very good teacher, Amelia nods along.

Very hot teacher, I add.

Im getting a bit hungry, Alba, our big ahali friend, says while looking wistfully at my pantry. Shes a big fun of biscotti.

Coffee break, I clap my hands and get up from the couch. There are a few weak protests, but our group has already split in the productive and unproductive halves. I like to think that our half is the one getting good food and enjoying themselves.

Coffee, Anneus raises his mug and smiles.

The disabled bastard doesnt even get up from the couch with the excuse of his crutches. And trust me, if you could see his sly smile, you wouldnt be happy about it either. But what can you do, tell him to get up and get it himself? That would bewhats the term for that? Ableist? Is ableist the right term? Is it ableist to define him as a disabled bastard? Hell, might be.

While I, Joey, pour some hot Joe inside Anneuss cup, I look around the room, finding Alba and Amelia hunched over some kind of dress that the latter has stitched for the big Ahali. Apparently, its very hard for Alba to find clothes that fit her size even at the Nine Towers Academy citadel. Shes as big as a half-giant, but her body is more slender and less bulky on the upper half. Her legs are also much longer than a normal persons. all of that makes it a bit hard to find things that fit her properly.

Joey, do you mind if I bring Alba upstairs for a second and fit her inside this? Amelia raises the dress and asks me.

Mmm. Is there anything radioactive or anything that might explode upstairs?

I think it should be safe.

Amelia drags Alba upstairs as soon as the words leave my mouth.

I mean, Im pretty sure its safe. I dont really remember what I did yesterday.

Fuck, Joey! Anneus swears as the coffee overflows from the cup and spills on him and on the couch.

Oh come on, we have [Cleansing] wands, I scoff, whats all the fuss.

Repeated use of [Cleansing] wands might weaken the fabric of clothes and furniture, Marcellus says.

Do you want to sleep outside, tonight? I ask to my non-paying tenant. Fetch some biscotti, come on.

As I lay down on my couch, on the verge of dozing off after hours spent on research during the weekend, I look at a figure looming in front of me.

I should remove your signature from the wards, I tell Robin while yawning.

I have news, he says while eyeing the pantry.

Oh God, is everyone coming here just for the biscotti?

You should open a shop around here, it would make a killing.

Still taking care of the business in Amorium. Goddamn Goblin has bought more land in my name. Hes building the park now. I swear, I cant even find my room anymore when I go over there.

Are you still using the [Princess]s magic to move around?

Go take your biscotti. I un-trapped the pantry after Marcellus almost lost a hand. People cant take a joke anymore. Also, I should start working on the poison wards. Did you fetch me the texts?

Yes. I have them with me, Robis says while loading a plate with a veritable pound of biscotti, but Im not here because of that. I have news. Lots of news. You asked me to check out the owners of the Baguetterie, right?

The what?

The famous bakery, he replies.

Oh, right.

It has ties to the disaster the mysterious battles that went down on Carilia, he hands down a stack of papers to me.

Wait, which continent is Carilia again?

The multi-cultural on, Robis sighs, now used to questions like this one.

Right, right. The big one. So, Cassandre has ties to that?

Not exactly. There are rumors of it. Its been a while, now. But some Humans that were around the region says that a Human woman was involved in the great massacre.

Ill check later, I say while nodding.

But whatever they are doing, now its all clean. They are not conducting any illicit business. I had my

I snort.

Fellows check it.

Robin scowls.

You know that they are not happy about you laughing about them.

Not my fault that your people chose a ridiculous name.

For all the great [Heroes], Joey, Robin sighs, if Valarith didnt have your back, I swear.

I like Lord Juler more. If you remember, hes an actual hero with a legendary past. And hes got my back. Plus, arent Vanedenis supposed to be super strict about not making fun of them or something?

I didnt grow up among Vanedenis, the man says.

Hes a descendant, and a very capable one. But still not the real deal.

Well, whats up?

Apart from the bakery not having ties with whomever started looking for information about you we have actually found that person. To be honest, she found us. She wants to speak with you. Ive arranged a meeting for tonight if its not a problem.

Sure. Wait, was someone looking for me?

Yes, Robin rubs his forehead while munching on a biscotto, the underworld suddenly got several people looking into you. And, if you remember, you didnt even tell me what to do about that.

I frown and try to remember

Nope, I dont remember that.

Robin keeps munching on the sweet biscotti and he shrugs.

Anything else? I say while eyeing the rapidly disappearing mound of baked goods.

Not really, he says with a stuffed mouth.

Then?

Oh, wait, maybe he puts several biscotti at once in his mouth and starts chomping rapidly, pushing a few others in after swallowing. He holds a hand out and has me wait for an entire minute.

Now that I think about it

He stuffs his mouth again.

You know you can take some home, right?

He mumbles something but its unintelligible.

What?

Robin almost chokes before speaking out.

Cough, cough. I said, you dont live among thieves. You think no one would steal your biscotti? An artifact? They wouldnt stare steal one from me. But food? Its impossible to have any nice food like that among the Fellows. I should insert that into our code of honorbut then, it would probably start a mutiny, so

Listen, werent you supposed to find me a sparring partner?

I have, he says while munching.

You have?

I see her smirk at me and shake her head while she serves another person.

Jesus almighty and St. Peter in tow

I mean, why?

At least she looked at me.

I did not expect this. I did not expect it in the slightest. I mean, I could understand if I said something a bit cringy, but later, alligator? Maybe it was just my attitude. With another tone, slightly ironic maybe. Who knows? I mean, what can you expect. I mean I mean

I look down at my number.

293.

That not a pretty number, is it?

And why do I have to be the only one entering this stuffy place? Hell, its too warm in here with this many people around.

[Professor] Luciani! a couple of students call out to me while Im waiting.

Yo, wassup, I nod at them.

Are you having dinner here?

Is this one of those situations where people dont realize that professors have a life outside the classroom, that they dont exist just as spirits chained to the desk?

Heh, just charging up the wands, you know, I shrug. Going for a tasting somewhere somewhere with special ingredients in a couple of hours.

As they start asking me questions about where Im going to eat next, I stop listening because I notice Cassandre surreptitiously sneaking a few glances at me. I wink toward her with nonchalance, now too deep in the waters to do anything else. Better act like nothing just happened.

Later alligator.

Jesus Christ.

Its not even cheesy, its just plain stupid.

If a psychologist from LA had been there, he might have diagnosed me with Asperger or ADHD on the spot!

So, [Professor]! [Professor]! they yell in my ear.

Goddamn students.

What?

So, do you have any special tip for the assignment you gave?

Wait.

What assignment?

Oh, right! The boobs!

Always ask before touching them, I snort and wave my hand while I get away from them. The order number is getting closer and I go up to a huge half-giant whos serving out the drinks.

Yo, I nod at him, drinks for order 293?

Did you get your food?

No?

Wait for the food.

But

Next!

Jesus.

I create a small spell matrix inside the shop with a refrigerating effect and the temperature finally becomes bearable. I take out my thermos of coffee and start sipping straight from it. Cant be bothered to take out a cup from it.

Did you hear? They just saw Royal Guards around! Some big shot is coming!

Oh, maybe the [Princess]?

I think its the [Princes]! Maybe they will get another master after Marcus died!

Oh, guards?

I wonder

Order 293! a half-giant employee of this place shouts.

Yo! I raise my hand with the little paper scrap in it.

This is your food, go get the drinks over there, the man says while handing out a bunch of food in a bag made of leaves. Yeah, leaves. Like Adam and Eve but for baguettes. They do kind of look like fig leaves as well.

Can I have my drinks now? I ask the guy, showing him that I have the food with me now.

He hands out a bunch of cheap wooden cups that are apparently mass produced around here. The drinks cost more because you can bring them home with you.

Thanks, I say, while I levitate all the drinks with a simple platform made of pure magic. Its actually much harder than what it looks like and I have to create a small shield around it to avoid having these hormonal hooligans bump into it.

Bye! I say without turning back, not knowing if Cassandre has heard me or not.

I cant believe they didnt show up, Amelia says for the umpteemth time.

Whatever, I say while holding my stomach. I ate too much. Eating and drinking before the tasting was a terrible idea. For some reason I had assumed it would be some kind of fancy tasting with micro-portions. Oh boy, if I was wrong. The portions were huge. I think I might have eaten three pounds of meat tonight.

They could have sent word to justify their absence, Marcellus speaks, slightly slurring the words because of the alcohol.

I look at Alba, whos barely walking straight. Apparently, Ahalis are not great at holding their alcohol. Not even the draconic blood in her vein did her any good in that regard.

Where does Alba live? I ask Amelia.

She scrunches her face, and looks at the half-monkey, half-rabbit, half-humanoid with worry in her eyes.

Pretty far. Maybe we should let her sleep at your place.

Sure, no problem, I nod.

I didnt drink much alcohol. As previously mentioned, Im not the biggest fan of fruity cocktails. A good glass of wine? Sure, every day of the week and every hour of the day. But not a colorful composition that looks like a kid mixing random things.

That Ivafosia was extremely good, Anneus says.

Yeah, it was decent, I nod.

What? Cant be a bit snob about food? You expect me to go to a random restaurant that does weekly tasting and not hold them at very high standards?

The food was passable, but the price was insane. They actually made us pay upfront to be sure we could afford it. Meh, whatever.

Are those Royal Guards? Amelia asks while we are very near my place.

Well, goodnight Joey, Anneus says and turns on his feet.

Oh no, I say while grabbing his shirt, if they want to execute me, you are coming with me. With all I paid tonight, your life wouldnt even make up for half the tab.

YOU WHAT?

Suddenly, one of the windows of my place explodes outward, showering the ground in shards of glass. The voice sounds terribly familiar.

That was very strong, enchanted glass, I note, pondering whether I should find an inn for the night.

SLUT!

WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!

The second voice sounds very familiar as well.

Oh, wait.

I think I might know whats happening.

Well, I think we should all go to sleep in an inn. My house is currently unavailable, I say with a smile.

So, was it her? Did she look for information about me through the underworld? Weird that Robin wouldnt mention that.

Excuse me!

I suddenly hear a British accent from the side of the street.

Excuse me! a woman reaches us with a wide pearly-white smile. My mouth goes slack because I swear Im looking at what Penelope Cruz would look like if she was hotter than she already is.

Is that Joey Lucianis house? she asks while pointing at the house where a second window just exploded.

Oh, that one? No, I dont think so. Joey Luciani doesnt live here, I say while slowly caressing Princess Bianca. He moved. Far, far away

OH, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR JOEY LUCIANI? THIS GUY RIGHT HERE IS JOEY LUCIANI!

As soon as Anneus stops shouting, the noises in the house go quiet.

Oh, you are Joey Luciani? the British woman smiles kindly. Im Penelope, I was looking for you. Im sorry about the hour but I was attending to some business around the academy until late. Is it a bad moment?

As I see both [Princess] Laura and Lucinda come out of my place, I feel that, indeed, it is a bad time. Also, it would have been nice if I learned [Teleport] by now. I surely could have used it.

Joey? right as Im thinking that the night couldnt go worse, I hear Cassandres voice at my back. As I turn, I see her changed out of her work attire to a more relaxed set of clothes, with a frown while she looks at the woman named Penelope and the other two women who are aggressively approaching.

Well, how you doin? I launch in a panoramic smile all around.