Chapter 264: Do you want to play [Doctor]?

Chapter 264: Do you want to play [Doctor]?

Blimey! This chicken is delicious! Penelope says while cutting it apart elegantly and taking only small bites. Excellent table manners. Good for her.

I occasionally stare at all the cleavage shes showing, asking myself how she didnt get herself arrested or something. In any medieval town worth its salt, she should have been abducted by the evil Lord two-point-five seconds after landing her feet at the citadel's entrance.

You are a fabulous cook, Joey.

Meh. So and so. My chicken is decent. Im not a poultry specialist.

Whats your specialty, then?

[Single-Minded Focus]

She has a file on me. Penelope is the one who put people in the criminal underworld to gather information on me. Joey, dont let yourself be fooled just because that juicy chicken threatens to drip on those massive--

I take a deep breath.

Why did you put people onto me? I ask abruptly, a bit tired from our exchange and also slightly worried about Princess Bianca now. Ive not been using my skills much, but I really needed some clarity here to think without being ensnared by those massive mounds of flesh.

I needed to know if it was safe to approach you. You are not exactly loved by the Elves around you thats why I had to make sure you werent another homicidal maniac.

Another?

She slowly rests the fork on her plate with but a smirk on her face.

You dont know who Cassandre is, do you?

You do?

I know about her, but I never approached her directly.

Listen, Penny, would you mind being more direct?

I really dont like that name, Joey, she says with a neutral face, all the friendliness and flirting wiped away. Call me Penelope, please.

Shes got issues.

Cassandre is a murderous, crazy woman, then?

Do me a favor; fetch me some water, please, she says, coughing gently. This chicken is a bit dry after all.

I look at the woman before me and then at the juicy chicken she has just badmouthed. I put on a smile and step forward, scoop up the plate, and start eating it with my fingers.

What are you doing?!

Food is not for entitled little shits, I wink at her. You can play with me, Penny, but this chicken is perfect. If you got complaints, it means you are not hungry enough.

I shove yet another piece of the greasy chicken into my mouth.

You must be kidding! she says, outraged.

I chew with my mouth open, loud and clear. Im adding some moans to have her understand whom shes dealing with. No messing around with my food, lady. It doesnt matter how hot you are.

Fine, she says while getting up. Enjoy your meal, you barbarian. Ill be in the living room.

Oh, I will, I say with a smile, giving her a little salute.

No. Would you mind giving one to me?

Sure, I say, clicking my tongue. There you go.

As we both start huffing and puffing, she starts to explain better what went down with Cassandre.

She came to this world around ten years ago. She kicked up a major fuss. It took her months to put together a terrifying army. She built guns and bombs. Everything you could think of that we should have never tried bringing here. Then, she apparently came to the Nine Towers Academy with a few of her men, and thats when, coincidentally, the Sirens attacked and leveled the place to the ground.

Jesus, I mutter.

She went a bit cuckoo after that. But then, she simply decided to stay here. Never made a move, as far as anyone knows. A few [Assassins] tried their hand at killing her, but no one has ever come back from those missions. Some say that if she had been back in Leggiadra, the half-giant city, they might have won the battle. Sadly, it was a slaughter. I dont know how much you know about international politics, but I assure you that the Sirens are tyrants, if not even terrorists, by our standards.

Probably just going back to their old ways, I say while thinking about what she just told me.

What do you mean?

Do you know who Lakaner is?

No? Sounds like a Vanedenis. Is that a friend of yours? Am I supposed to know him?

Lakaner of the Marigolds, one of the great legends of the Vanedenis, already forgotten by the rest of the world.

Did you know that the Sirens were quite a people-eating lot? Well, Lakaner was the [Royal Gardener] who became a [Hero] and slayed the [Queen of the Abyss, Heiress of Forbidden Knowledge] Nerea. The First was a cannibal [Queen] who found out about some blood rituals and weird stuff to empower the Sirens through people-eating. Lakaner said, not on my watch, pal, went down there, took her head, went back to the Royal Palace, took the head of the current Vanedeni [King] or something, and yadda, yadda, yadda.

You really know an awful lot about the Vanedenis. I shouldnt be surprised since the lost [Princess] came back from the legends to save you.

Eh, its actually surprising that people dont know this story. Its pretty cool. Sure, my teacher just loves to teach me about their history, but even you have to admit that a guy that single-handedly decided to end a blooming Tyrant is pretty cool.

[Queen of the Abyss, Heiress of Forbidden Knowledge], Penelope mutters.

Yeah, I know. Its a mouthful. The higher you go, the more stuff gets crammed in your class.

We both fall silent for a moment, each in their own thoughts.

Cassandres a [Warlord] whos basically exiled here. Well, thats not good. If she wanted to meet me, she might want my help to hatch a plan to get her revenge. Not that kicking a couple of Sirens would be against my morals, but still. I dont want to enable a possible mass murderer to come to power and be responsible for genocide, you know.

Anyway, lets change the topic for now. What happened in the market exactly?

I proceed to recount the insane scene that went down.

Blimey, Penelope says, lets go check on the guy who got hurt. Your pig might have snapped the bone in his leg.

What?

You dont plan on being responsible for hurting him?

I mean, he hurled a knife at my pig. If he got a bad injury, thats on him.

Sure, but if you dont want to create even more problems for the rest of the Humans, why dont we go check on him? Im a [Doctor], you know?

[Doctor]? I start sweating as she says that.

Yes. Are you surprised?

Oh, no, no. I was just wondering if you wanted to play doctor? I say, adding my customary wink.