As he saw her walk back just like that, giving no reaction whatsoever, as if, she didn't even take the kiss to heart, as if, she had perfect control over her feelings, as if, she was fine being alone and thought of his kiss as his usual gesture of 'skinship', Qin ZiXuan could practically hear warning bells ringing inside his head.
He knew something was not right but didn't know what?
He slept for about 3 hours, right?
Why did the world seem so different?
Alternate universe? Transmigration?
Leaving the jokes aside, he was really dumbstruck.
Just what happened in the 3 hours he had slept?!!
But he didn't act outright or on impulse, he too was battle-hardened and didn't make a fuss, he decided to observe her first and then decide on the strategy.
Lunch today was very light...
Steaming hot rice, sweet and sour chicken, a vegetable stir fry and a bowl of warm soup with lots of black pepper and ginger.
His hate for greens were all out, they were in both the chicken dish and stir fry.. '...' but he persisted.
Because he didn't want to press a wrong switch and make the situation worse, he zipped his mouth and in the least, tasted everything out without making his usual scrunched face.
Meilin, at a rare moment, also didn't force him to eat peppers but lightly asked him to drink the soup, that it was good for his stomach so, he should drink it.
'Worried about my stomach, well, no problem there.... but she didn't make a fuss about the greens, she didn't force me to get everything down...Weird...definitely weird.'
From his years of experience and knowing her, he concluded that she was acting like she was making some 'compensations' by not forcing him to do something that he didn't like..but for what? He was stuck.
Just like that, the lunch ended without them talking much, it was very much like the usual them just that he could feel the type of coldness, he didn't like, from Meilin.
She was like, a part of her soul, an important one, was not there; he didn't like this feeling one bit.
While washing the dishes he couldn't take it anymore and finally asked, "Linlin, what happened?"
"Eh?..." she froze for a microsecond, which he noticed since he was concentrating his everything on her.
She continued washing the dishes, in a way she evaded his look and said, "nothing..."
Just that slight movement and he felt a pang...
He took a big step towards her, startling her in the process and then forced her around towards him, he then bent down to her eye length to look at her, straight in the eyes and asked again, "Linlin?"
Qin Meilin had a startled expression but she again evaded his eyes.
This time, her bangs hooded her eyes as she drooped her head down trying to shrink her existence, she had a very low self-esteem when it came to him.
She didn't know that she was his most precious existence and always acted in accords to her mindset, she thought that she didn't deserve him and so even a small mistake on her part felt like a sin to her.
"Lin-"
"..qi"
"eh?"
"XuanXuan, dubuqi...." her voice cracked.
"Linlin.....what happened?", he took her into his embrace immediately after hearing that voice.
He somehow knew the face she must have right now and he didn't want to look at it.
No, it's not a crying face.
Even though her voice cracked he knew, she wasn't crying.
From the time he knew her, she was never the type to cry but that didn't mean she never cried before but after that incident from 12 years ago, he never saw her cry again.
6 months after that incident, she was very close to crying but the tears never fell down and after that, it was like her lacrimal glands had stopped functioning, as if, all her tears were dried up.
He knew that she needed certain pushes to acknowledge her rightful feelings for him but just like he was needed for her to put on a real smile, he was also her trigger to the most negative parts of her emotions and just as he had guessed, Meilin was not crying...
He knew by instinct that she was not herself right now.
Her face was blank like a plain sheet, her eyes had lost it's light and appeared to be dead, as a result, her face appeared way colder than usual.
Her voice kept trembling, she was blaming herself for her mishap.
Even though it might be something trivial to a normal person, she was too paranoid when it came to him, like mentioned earlier, keeping everything under her control was her OCD and when it came to him, it became insanity.
She already thought that she didn't deserve him and his feelings and when she couldn't even take good care of him, support him well, she became a mess.
"XuanXuan, I didn't notice...I didn't notice that you were tired, I'm sorry.....Even with that drinking event last time, I'm sorry...I keep making mistakes..I'm sorry, I'm not taking good care of you...I'm sorry that I'm useless...I'm sorry...."
'Sorry, that I love you' was kept unsaid as she kept mumbling all her mistakes and apologising to him.
....................
Qin ZiXuan connected the dots, it appears that it was because she hadn't noticed that he didn't sleep last night that she reverted back to this state, plus the events from last time all added up, leading to her breakdown.
The kiss yesterday must have played a role too in pushing her to her bottom...he almost cursed out loud but stopped himself in the end.
He knew it wouldn't make any change if he said anything so, he kept stroking her hairs and gave small kisses on her crown to soothe her, call him weird but he liked this Meilin too.
This Meilin who was broken and would rely on him for her comfort, he loved her....he didn't mind if she stayed like this forever, that way, she will always be in his confinement of her own will, she will be only his...
He didn't have to wait, he could just claim her.
He knew he was twisted...
He was just like her but from way before her.
.........
After some time he felt her breathing become normal and lifted her face and said, "Just saying, but it was not your fault. Still, you seem to think it is like that so, I'll accept your apology but on a condition."
Some light came to her eyes, he was her best medicine..."hm?"
"Sleep with me..."
"Okay!", she gave a prompt reply.
His eyes darkened a bit but he just smiled and again kissed her on her forehead, 'it seems she is running from reality and has again, locked her feelings. Oh, well! I'll make sure to enjoy myself for a little then...'
So, after lunch that day, in the master bedroom.....
She half laid down on the bed as her upper half was supported by the wall behind, she didn't have a habit of day-naps and decided to surf the net.
Qin ZiXuan, on the other hand, had his arms over her waist and snuggled close to her taking a long afternoon nap......
........
Atsuki's skit corner;
ZiXuan : Sleep with me.
Atsuki : Oi!!
Meilin : Okay!
Atsuki : haaaaaan!! wuwu My kids are growing up like weeds.
They just lay down to 'sleep'
Atsuki : "..." (Flips a virtual table) Don't get my hopes high!!!
Side note:
Even though he is quite open about his feelings, why is she unable to see it? Many of you must be thinking like that, right?
To me, it's because she is too paranoid to see that...
I hope I got it through to you, a glimpse of their inner workings and demons.