Chapter 94 - The Shocking Truth

"Madam came today morning and looked very tired. She first asked me about Young Master. I…was very happy since the day Young master gave me the list of the books to buy them from the market. In my excitement, I told madam everything. In the beginning, madam was angry at you because you took Young Master out without her permission but when she heard that Young Master's condition has improved after that…she was happy.

Madam was so excited that she ran to Young Master's room. After that, I don't know what happened. I just heard madam screams, asking Young Master to stop. When I went inside the room, Young Master was crazily hitting himself. When madam tried to get near him, he cowered back in fear and screamed loudly."

Inside the dining room, sitting on the chair, Butler Wen sobbed quietly and then said 

"I took madam out of the room fearing that Young Master would harm Madam. Madam...looked so shocked and afraid.  She was continuously muttering Young Master's name. I went to the kitchen to bring some water for madam but ....but madam was not there when I came out."

"What?"

Mo Roulan stood up from the chair and said

"Butler Wen, have you informed anyone or tried to find out where Mrs. Chen is now?"

Butler Wen nodded his head and said

"I called Madam's bodyguard. He told me that Madam was safe. …She went to Master's grave."

Mo Roulan sighed and sat down again.

She twisted her hands on the lap and then pressed her temple.

The scene she had seen when she went to Cheng Yang's room flashed in her mind. Cheng Yang eyes were empty when he had raised his head to look at her.

So empty that Mo Roulan couldn't find any change because of her efforts in the past week.

He looked like that old Cheng Yang or even worse. Lost and depressed.

Even she felt her heart weakening when she saw those empty black eyes.

Now hearing everything the butler said and remembering those empty eyes, she suddenly felt that there was something much more to all of this, something more behind Cheng Yang's behavior.

But what was it?

She consoled butler Wen for a while and then stood up from the chair after he had stopped crying.

"Miss Mo"

She turned around and looked at butler Wen questioningly.

"Are you going to Young Master's room?"

She nodded her head at the butler's question. The butler hesitated for a moment and then said

"I will advise you to not do that. Young Master's emotions don't seem stable at this moment."

He was afraid that Cheng Yang would harm Mo Roulan.

Mo Roulan stared at the old butler for a few moments and then with a serious face she said

"Butler Wen, do you remember that you yourself have told me that Cheng Yang has not harmed anyone?"

The old butler's eyes were filled with guilt and he opened and closed his mouth several times but couldn't say anything.

But Mo Roulan continued.

"Mrs. Cheng was right. Cheng Yang is not crazy. He just needs a little help. Help from someone who is closer to him. And at this moment, you are leaving him alone. Now I really can imagine why Cheng Yang reached this state today. Perhaps all of you have left him alone to let him deal with his sorrow after Mr. Cheng's death also."

After saying this, Mo Roulan didn't care for the guilty butler Wen and walked to Cheng Yang's room.

The door was opened just as she had left and the room was also not dark. 

Cheng Yang was still huddled in the same corner and in the same position.

She walked towards him and sat down on the floor in front of him.

"Hello, Cheng Yang."

She said softly. As expected, she didn't get any reply.

Her eyes fell on the violin in Cheng Yang's hands. It was the same violin that she had touched and he had snatched away from her hands.

"Do you know how to play it?" She asked him with a smile

Cheng Yang didn't say anything. He was just looking down at the violin in his hands and caressing it.

Mo Roulan sighed at his silence.

"Cheng Yang, do you know how your mother is after you have behaved like that in front of her?"

For the first time, since she had entered the room, Mo Roulan saw Cheng Yang looking at her.

"So you care?"

She said with a stern face when she saw Cheng Yang's blank eyes on herself.

"Then why did you behave like that?"

After a few moments, she took a deep breath because Cheng Yang's silence was now starting to irritate her.

When Mo Roulan had decided to take this job she had decided that she would have all the patience in this world dealing with Cheng Yang.

But now she didn't know why she was feeling a little irritated. Perhaps it was because Shen Youlin's incident and Cheng Yang's situation were also depressing her now.

"Do you think that it is only you who has lost anyone? Or you think that your loss is larger than anyone else in this world, huh?"

Mo Roulan didn't notice how Cheng Yang's was clenching the violin in his hands hearing her words.

"Do you think that your mother is not affected by your father's death? Let me tell you something, Cheng Yang, you might be dealing with the worst phase of your life but that doesn't give you any right to behave like that in front of your mother."

She can't even imagine how shocked the middle-aged woman has been at her son's outburst. Hearing from butler Wen's description she knew it was very bad. 

"Life is not a bed of roses, Cheng Yang. We have to deal with everything. Just because you have lost your mother, you won't cherish your mother…who lives you so much. You think…."

"How much do you think she loves me?"

Mo Roulan was startled when she heard Cheng Yang's sudden question.

Her mind was filled with confusion when she registered his words.

Why would he ask this?

She looked at his blank eyes and cold face in confusion.

The next words of Cheng Yang, however, shocked her to the core.

"Do you think she will still love me if she comes to know….

"…that I killed my father and her beloved husband?"