C167

My name is meatball.

It's said that Qin Yin and Lin Suye picked them up from the garbage heap.

I'm four years old this year.

Everyone said I was a child star, but I didn't quite understand it. Later, aunt Susu told me that the child of a star is a child star. I only knew that my Baba hemp was a big star attracting thousands of people's attention.

But I don't think they are different from other people except that they look better.

Especially I Baba.

I heard that I loved and loved me very much before. My mother picked me up from the garbage heap and thought I was too dirty, so I had to throw me away. It was my Baba who saved the tide and left me by their side and took good care of it.

But Uncle Roger said the situation lasted only one year.

Because I fell in love with me, abandoned Baba.

I Baba is very angry, but he is a very indifferent person, not good at expression. Every time he wants to draw back my numb attention, he always fails. Finally, in order to take care of me, Ma Ma Ma's focus has completely shifted to me, and Baba has become a dispensable person.

Since then, I don't love me anymore.

Left me alone in the room, alone, crying, he did not care, but also stopped me numb, do not let me numb tube me, finally I Ma Ma to my Baba yield, also do not love me.

Just let an old aunt hug me.

Uncle Roger said that. I don't remember.

But as I grew older, I found that uncle Roger was not right.

Ma Ma still loves me very much.

In addition to hiding in the TV, with a group of strange uncles and aunts, little sisters and brothers, dressed in very strange clothes, and in those who do not know what to do, she would kiss me and hug me as soon as she got home.

Instead, I was left alone.

And then I will receive, from my Baba look out of the resentment.

I had to put away my little short legs and hands, and did not dare to hold numbness again.

But I can't help it. The more I let go of my numbness. The more I feel numb, the more I want to be close to me, pick me up from the ground and sit on the sofa.

My Ba Ba Ba's resentment is more and more serious, I dare not look at him directly, so I bury my face in my numb arms. I am very happy and will peel the fruit for me to eat.

I had a good day.

If you ignore my Baba whizz out of the cold air.

But in the evening, I went to take a bath, I Baba took my hand, walked to my small room.

He said to me in a very serious tone: "when dad is your age, he not only sleeps on his own, but also plays with himself and doesn't pester his parents. So you have to learn to be independent, eh?"

I wrung my hands, lowered my head and did not dare to see Baba, "but Ma Ma told me that I am just a child, and children can play with Baba and hemp together."

I finish this sentence, I Baba don't want to pay attention to me, I raised my head and looked at me Baba, he was looking at me gloomy, but did not speak.

Baba in my heart's image, has been tall, silent, very talented.

Although we get along very unfriendly, but Ma Ma a lot of times, will go out to work, Baba has been accompanied by my side, no credit also hard work, uncle Roger said, children should be more sensible, so that people like, I am afraid Baba angry, the future life is not easy, so I pulled Baba's clothes.

"Baba, I'll sleep with Ma Ma this evening, and then tomorrow you'll sleep with Ma Ma again, OK?"

Baba doesn't talk. Judging from the situation that I have been with Baba for so long, I guess Baba is unwilling, so I give in: "that Baba sleeps with Ma Ma Ma today, and then I sleep with Ma Ma Ma tomorrow, OK?"

Baba finally nodded his head. He squatted down and looked at me flat. There was a faint smile on his lips. It seemed to me that some conspiracy had succeeded. Then I heard him say, "you have finally grown up."

I blinked, Baba touched my head, and then let my aunt take me to wash and sleep.

Then I went back to my room.

The next day I continued to rest, her work has been like this, go out for a few days, and then come back for a few days, I climbed from the sofa to her body, Baba sat beside her, I ignored Baba's eyes if there was no killing, two small arms were tightly hugging her, "Ma Ma Ma, I want to eat grapes."

My hemp should be good, lean to pick up grapes, peel me, I am satisfied with biting, I Baba not happy, with me hemp said: "where is mine?"

I took a look at him, but I couldn't see the meaning of that look, but the look in her eyes was strange. She looked at me and looked at my Baba. Then she peeled the grape skin for me, but I found two big red marks on her neck.

I didn't have it when I was hugged yesterday.

I think I used to go out, mosquito bite is also a big bag, itchy, very uncomfortable, so I raised my hand to touch her neck, rubbed the red mark on, "Ma Ma Ma, there are mosquitoes at home, you should be like me, let aunt help with the medicine."I looked at my Baba again, and then put a soft voice, "mother is OK, tonight on the mosquito patted to death, let him dare not bully his mother."

I was very naive to agree, did not consider the mosquito's feeling at all, "I can help hemp a piece of mosquito."

Ma Ma suddenly laughed, she patted the Baba sitting beside her, "we plan to fight mosquitoes tonight, do you have any idea?"

I Baba or that kind of Old God in the appearance, his quiet black eyes glanced at me, and coagulated to my numbness, smile more and more soft, "you are not afraid of the time, not killed mosquitoes, but injured by mosquitoes?"

Ma Ma also raised his hand to hit Baba's shoulder, gently, like a coquettish.

She didn't say anything, but I heard it in the clouds. How could a mosquito be so small that it would hurt me?

I was born to like to ask questions. In the past, Baba Ma Ma would respond to all my questions as I wanted, but they didn't seem willing to give me an answer.

I had to nest in the arms of Ma Ma, constantly occupied Ma Ma, and finally was pulled aside by me to do ideological work.

He spoke to others in a concise and comprehensive way, but he exhausted his patience with me and my mother, but I don't want to listen. I think they don't love me any more. Baba said to me seriously: "if you cry again, I'll throw you in the garbage and let you be picked up by other people's parents."

I also cried very hard, I Baba continued: "tonight I continue to sleep with your mother. You sleep alone. "

I immediately stopped crying and looked at him, "Baba, you can't do this, so I can't be friends with you..."

Baba touched my head, his voice is low and deep, listening is very good to hear, but he said, I listen not happy at all, "I did not intend to make friends with you."

I flat mouth, want to cry, he is not nervous at all, "like you always love to pester mother of little boy, huge light bulb, I don't want to be friends with you."

My tears were about to fall, and he was still serious, "unless you promise me to sleep on your own tonight, I will agree to be your friend."

I took back my tears and wanted to resist: "but Baba, don't you agree that I sleep with Ma Ma tonight?"

"Do you want to be friends with me?"

I nodded.

"Then if you promise me to sleep alone tonight, I will agree to be your friend. Do you agree or not?"

I thought, Baba seems to say that there is no wrong, and then I nodded.

So in the end, I forgot why I cried in the beginning.

Even with the hemp sleep precious time, and arch hands to Baba.

By the time I wanted to understand, I was already in primary school.

I'm a little smart, will think of the law with my father and mother, private also consulted uncle Roger, aunt Su Su.

But they all failed.

I thought about it and didn't make it clear. The maid and aunt at home pointed out that those people were all my father's subordinates or friends. They only helped dad, but not me.

I was sad for a long time.

I want to hold my mother and say, I want to sleep with you.

But dad didn't give me a chance.

After school, many students said I was a child star and asked for my parents' autograph.

There were several lovely little girls. I saw them very well, so I decided to get them two autographed photos.

But dad said that once I signed and photographed, I would not be allowed to hit my mother's attention for at least a year.

I have some hesitation, and my father advised me, anyway, I can't sleep. It's better to give up and get along well with my classmates.

As soon as I thought it was ok, I agreed.

Then I took my signature to my classmate.

But soon, in private, the teacher told me that I couldn't reveal my identity as a child star, or it would cause a lot of trouble. The teacher also helped me to make it clear to those students who knew my identity. My identity should be kept secret. All the students were nice to listen to me. When I transferred to school in grade two, there was no follow-up to the child star incident.

It doesn't matter whether it's a child star or not, but there are always people holding me as a child star, who want the signature of my parents and come close to me. When I was a child, I didn't know it. When I grew up, I realized that it was called being used.

But my dad protected me very well.

Although he seems to love me less and like to negotiate terms with me, he secretly protected my most innocent childhood.

In the tenderest and deepest way.

It didn't hurt me at all.

And my mom.

She loves me very much and takes me as the most important thing. However, I am a little sad. When I am sleeping alone and pretending to be strong, she can not see it at all, which makes me feel extremely melancholy.

This life may not really sleep her, I stand on the balcony, looking up at the sky sighing.

Later, I learned that my mother had always wanted to be close to me, but I always wanted to be independent, and my father fanned the flames. Finally, she had to bear the pain and let me grow up by myself.And when I know the truth, I'm like

Dad, don't you feel ashamed to cheat and cajole such kind-hearted me?