Chapter 33 - 33

Chapter 33

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/UzumakiLegacy

"Oh for fuck's sake," I muttered as I walked into my uncle's place and saw him on the couch, wiggling a thick packet with the KaibaCorp address on it with the biggest shit-eating grin a man could have. Because of course Seto couldn't send a paper invite... oh no. Pegasus had sent an entire box full of shit and Seto had to prove his dick was bigger than good ol' Maxamillion's. Because I already knew that packet was going to make Pegasus' VHS look like... well, a VHS tape.

Mai was right behind me, having decided to head back to my place seeing as the place she was renting was a lot farther away from the museum than my uncle's building was. Besides she'd reasoned that if there was an invitation for a tournament for one of us there would be one for both of us and she was more interested in seeing what this was about sooner rather than later. Just behind us both was Renard who marched in with a swagger only to happily flop down onto the couch the moment the door was closed and he knew the threats were gone and he could relax.

"Courier brought this by an hour or so ago," my uncle said with a smirk. "Looks rather important... I thought Seto Kaiba was keeping you far away from KaibaCorp business."

"He is," I said as I grabbed the package and opened it up, my uncle getting up to watch while Mai moved to the other side of me, getting on her tiptoes so she could see over her shoulder. Renard seemed willing to wait and get a second viewing. "This is something different," I said as I pulled out the tablet Seto had sent me, the silhouette of the Blue Eyes White Dragon replacing the Apple Logo on the pad. Pressing the on button I turned to the others and said, "I really do hate these things. Feels wrong not to have a keyboard you can physically-"

A beam of light shot out of the pad and scanned my face.

"-did I get reformatted into Galvatron? Must I serve Unicron now?" I patted myself with my free hand while Mai just shot me a look before rolling her eyes.

"For such a cunning man you really are a geek-HEY!" She let out a squeak as the tablet sent out another beam of light that scanned her face before turning towards my uncle, scanning him... but interestingly enough he was scanned several times before the light just suddenly turned off and the tablet turned on, revealing Seto's lovely and oh so friendly face.

"Edwin Chaos," the video said and I could just taste his utter disgust in having to make the address to me. Only there was a flicker on the screen, a slight changing of the light, and Seto said, "Mai Valentine," in the same tone and I realized that he just was unhappy with everyone and everything that wasn't Mokuba. "This is your official invite to come to the North Avenue Plaza at 9pm tonight. I would suggest you don't miss it for what I'm about to reveal is going to change everything." And with that the video ended and the tablet shut off.

"Did... did he honestly just spending thousands of dollars to send out tablets just to serve as invitations to an announcement about a tournament?" I asked. "I mean, Pegasus sent Yugi a VHS from what I hear but still... everyone agrees that is overkill, right?"

"Yet completely on brand for Kaiba," Mai said with a smirk.

"Looks like we're out," my uncle told Renard, who took the tablet to examine it only for the beam to shoot out and scan him... before the message began to play only with his name inserted in. "I can't help but feel a touch left out," my uncle joked with slumped shoulders.

"Look on the plus side," I said with a smirk, "according to the descendant of the guardians of the pharaohs' tombs that met with us tonight the tournament is a matter of saving the world... oh, and her insane brother who is basically a mob boss is going to be hunting people down all to get a trading card and an ancient Egyptian relic."

My uncle just blinked.

Mai shrugged. "Honestly at this point I'm going to be shocked if a tournament DOESN'T have a power mad monster involved."

"Other than Kaiba," Renard joked.

I, however, was thinking about something else. "So Seto clearly wants to do something big and flash. Wave his dick about and show how huge it is." I smirked. "Wanna help me fuck with him?"

Mai rapidly nodded her head, grinning like a child on Christmas morning while my uncle was clearly seeing headlines to be made.

~MC~MC~MC~

"Sure are a lot of people here," Tea said, looking around the crowded plaza. "I haven't seen this many duelists since Duelist Kingdom."

"Indeed," the Pharaoh said, lips pressed together. He and Yugi had talked it over and decided that while they'd agreed that the young man should be the one in control during his date this was far different and it would be better if the Pharaoh stayed in control even after the visit to the museum had come to an end. "And if Edwin is to be believed we will face far more than merely duelists."

Tea rubbed her arms nervously. "Yeah. It was bad enough when we were having to deal with Pegasus and his Eliminators. But an entire criminal organization hunting after you? And they are the ones that kidnapped Edwin!"

"And came after you and Yugi in that pizza parlor," the Pharaoh said with a shake of his head. "This tournament that Kaiba is creating is going to be far more dangerous than he realizes."

Tea though questioned that; she wondered just how much Kaiba actually knew about the danger. 'This tournament... why suddenly have it? Kaiba isn't someone to rush doing something; if he had been planning this tournament for a while he would have been dropping hints and amping everyone up. But Ishizu acted like this Tournament was going to happen soon... that means he put it together quickly.' She frowned. 'And how did Ishizu know about it? With her Millennium Necklace? Or was there something else? Edwin said there was another God Card floating around and if Ishizu didn't trust Yugi with it...'

But what was truly worrying Tea was the fact that this new threat, this Marik Ishtar, wielded the Millennium Rod.

She reached up, trying to make it look like she was brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear, but in reality she was touching her temple. Tea didn't know WHY she needed to do that, as her temples hadn't been involved at all when Aiden Order (because she would NEVER refer to him as Edwin... even an alternate version; he was the Professor and Edwin was her friend) had decided to rob her of her free will... and yet she touched her temple all the same, as if checking for some mark that would show that she was still under his control. It didn't matter that he was trapped in another dimension now... he'd still violated her and she'd never forget that for as long as she lived.

"Pharaoh," Tea said softly, "have you and Yugi talked with Edwin about his key and what it can do?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Edwin's key... it can open things, yeah... but it can also lock things up. He mentioned he locked his own mind-"

"You think he should lock my mind?" the Pharaoh said. Tea nodded but the Spirit shook his head. "No Tea. I do not believe that wise."

"Why not?" Tea pressed. "It's safe."

"You don't know that."

"I do," she said softly before making her way to a bench, sitting down on it with the Pharaoh joining her a few moments later. "I had Edwin lock my mind with the Key."

The Pharaoh was utterly gobsmacked by that. "Why would you do something like that?"

"Why?" she asked with a bitter laugh and the urge to just admit it all to him burst open like a pimple squeezed too hard. "Why? After Serenity's birthday party Edwin, Tristan, Yuri, and I ended up sucked into an alternate world. Good was evil and evil was good. And... someone... who controlled the Millennium Rod used it against us." She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself, chin pressed against her chest. "You can't imagine what it is like. I tried to tell everyone that it was like I was trapped in my own mind but... but it wasn't actually like that. It wasn't like I was a prisoner in my own body. The Millennium Rod... to takes everything that makes you you and removes all the parts that the user doesn't like. Plucks them out of your head and leaves only the pieces that serve them. I remember everything I did and the Professor... he made me WANT to do them. To enjoy doing it. Even if all I did was march against Edwin and summon a single monster... I loved it. It was right and just and made all the sense in the world." She swallowed. "Until everything was put back and I was myself again."

"Tea," the Pharaoh said softly but she pressed on, refusing to allow him to diminish what she had gone through with weak platitudes.

"And it doesn't matter that I got out of it... nothing will ever change the fact that the user forced his way into my mind and altered it purely for his own schemes. He put things in there... tampered with my thoughts." She reached up and tapped her skull. "That's why I'm so much better at dueling all of a sudden. Tristan and Yuri too. He put Duel Monsters knowledge into my head and I know that for a lot of people the joke is 'Oh, so you got something out of it!' but that's easy to say when you didn't have his filthy fingers digging in your gray matter-" She stopped, taking a breath, realizing her voice had been raising during her entire rant. Once she was a bit calmer she continued on. "I never asked for any of this and he forced it in all the same and while I am willing to now use that knowledge... I will never forgive him for what he did. He violated me...

"So when Edwin offered me a chance to never feel that way again... I took it. And it was so different than it was with the Rod. With the Key Edwin just turned it once and... that was it. He could have entered my mind... offered if I wanted him to go in and remove what that Professor had done... but when I told him no he accepted that with a smile. And he still locked down my mind. The Millennium Rod in this world won't be able to affect me and for that I am grateful." She swallowed. "But it doesn't change the fact that there is someone out there that is doing that to other people. We need to be ready to take him down, make sure that whatever he is plotting doesn't come to pass."

"And we will, Tea, I assure you of that," the Pharaoh told her gently.

He looked out over the gathered Duelists and Tea did the same, taking in the faces both new and familiar. Weevil Underwood was trying to talk with Rex Raptor but the dino duelist wasn't interested and in fact was making a show of trying to walk away from the little cheat. Tea wondered if that was Edwin's influence once again; he'd kept in contact with Rex. He was a blowhard but as far as she knew hadn't resorted to schemes and tricks to defeat his opponents like Weevil did. In the other direction was Mako, who was enjoying a fish taco from a vendor who'd seen all the duelists gathering and decided to make a quick buck. Lurking in the shadows was that kid Bonz that Joey had taken on with his two goons, leering at everyone with a smile that made Tea shudder.

There were other people as well... new ones she'd never seen before and the new skills and dueling knowledge caused her to at once begin examining them and making determinations of their strength and possible style. There was a kid with aquamarine hair and a pink dress shirt who was pressing his fingers to his head and mumbling something. A kid in a green patched sweater who kept looking about like he was searching for someone... someone he hated from the scowl on his features. A tall athletic looking man who openly laughed and slapped another duelist on the back... who was wearing a skull mask over the top part of his face that made him look like an utter terror. A man-

Tea froze.

"I see him too," the Pharaoh said, having also spotted the Rare Hunter that was watching the crowd. He was older, maybe in his thirties, with a shock of white hair and a lean lanky build. Tea began to look about rapidly, trying to spot more of the Hunters but the Pharaoh placed his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze. "Don't. He doesn't realize we have seen him. That gives us an advantage."

"Do we confront them now?" Tea asked only for the Pharaoh to shake his head.

"Not here. And even if we did I believe it wouldn't do us much good. We need to confront Marik, not his minions."

"...that almost sounded like something Edwin would say."

The Spirit smirked at that. "Don't tell him."

Tea smiled at that before looking once more at the gathered duelists. "What changes do you think Kaiba will have in store for his tournament? I doubt he's going to want to make it just like Duelist Kingdom."

"Indeed. Kaiba doesn't like any comparisons between himself and Pegasus. This is just as much a competition between his vision and Pegasus' as it is against all of us. That will mean that this new tournament of his will be far beyond Duelist Kingdom. More complex. Greater risk. And far greater reward." He pulled his hand from her knee finally, clenching it into a fist. "And when there is far more on the line people become all the more dangerous. We must be ready for that."

Tea nodded. "At least this time I'll be able to duel at your side instead of just being a stowaway."

"Duel at my side?" he asked, startled.

"Of course. I have a deck now that can stand up to anyone else's and I plan to use it."

"Tea, I don't think that's the wisest idea?"

"Why not?" she asked, turning to stare the Pharaoh down. "You saw me duel against Johnny Stepps."

"This will be different," the Pharaoh reasoned.

"You had no problem with having Joey compete in Duelist Kingdom and I was better than him before that tournament." She narrowed her eyes. "This BETTER not be a 'female' thing."

The Pharaoh, realizing the trap he'd stumbled into, quickly held up his hands. It would have been funny to see the normally calm and collected duelist reduced to a trembling puddle of fear except Tea was too busy being utterly indignant to focus on the humor in that.

Before the Pharaoh could defend himself (or dig himself into a bigger hole, honestly it could have been either or at that point) one of the large advertisement screens across from them flickered and Seto Kaiba's stern features appeared for all to see.

"Greetings duelists," Kaiba said, screens all over the plaza changing from the ads they had been showing to Seto's face, so that no matter where one turned they were forced to stare at him. "Welcome to the town of Domino. But more importantly welcome to my tournament!"

"Someone is trying to make a strong first impression," Tea muttered.

"I see you all received your private invite to KaibaCorp's exclusive Duel Monsters tournament... and had enough brains to show up here tonight." The crowd grumbled at that, a few hurling insults at the screen at that jab. Others, on the other hand, cheered and celebrated Kaiba declaring that they were so special that they warranted a personal invite. "Seeing as you are all elite duelists I've added special rules and stipulations to my tournament, just for experts. These duels will be nothing like you've experienced before and will force you to duel in new and stunning ways if you hope to win."

"That only makes sense," the Pharaoh admitted. "With so many of us receiving new decks from Pegasus he had no choice but to create far more complex rules in order to keep up with the sudden evolution of the game."

"To eliminate the failures of Duelist Kingdom all duelists will be using Kaibacorp's new Duel Discs in all their battles." The camera panned down to show off the device. "These Duel Discs allow duelists to battle anywhere and at any time, eliminating the need for the overly large and cumbersome dueling platforms. Now any spot in Domino can become a dueling field!"

"Oh, that will make things interesting," Tea said as the crowd gushed over the device. "Now you can't even avoid a dueling platform if you need a break... you can be challenged anywhere at any time!"

"Indeed," the Pharaoh stated.

"Another new feature of my tournament will be the ante rule. Each and every duelist won't merely be putting up their chance to make it to the finals when they duel. No... if you wish to duel you will need to ante in your rarest card with the winner claiming the loser's!"

"Forfeit my Dark Magician?!?" the Pharaoh said in shock.

"Oh man," Tea moaned. "That means if a duelist isn't careful they could have their entire deck destroyed with just a single loss. Not just in this tournament but possibly forever!"

"It is a danger and a risk," the Pharaoh agreed, pondering what Seto had said. "But it also means that with just a few duels one can vastly improve their deck."

Seto continued on. "My competition will make Pegasus and his Duelist Kingdom look like a joke!"

The crowd began to cheer and shout delight at the new tournament only to grow quiet as a wind picked up and suddenly a helicopter descended from the sky... with Seto Kaiba hanging out of the side, looking down at the crowd. He was dressed all in black with a new white sleeveless jacket which billowed in the winds the copter was kicking up in its wake. He stared down at the plaza but Tea had the sense that he wasn't seeing anyone other than the Pharaoh.

Kaiba threw his hand into the air. "Don't forget to register and pick up your Duel Disc because in exactly one week my Battle City Tournament be-"

And then every light in the plaza went out.

"What now?" Tea asked, looking about in worry.

"I don't know," the Pharaoh said, still staring up at the helicopter. "But I don't think this is Kaiba's doing... he looks as startled as us!"

There was the sound of a needle being put on a record and suddenly from every speaker the gathered duelists heard, "Obie Trice, Real Name No Gimmick!" before two record scratches filled the air and a new singer stepped in to take over. "Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside, 'Round the outside, 'round the outside!"

The gathered duelists all looked about in confusion as the large screens suddenly went dark... but only for a moment. Then light appeared on the edges... no. The darkness was pulling away...

"Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside, 'Round the outside, 'round the outside!"

The darkness was now revealed to be the silhouette of a curvy woman, dancing and swaying against a white background before letting out a lust-filled moan as she threads her fingers through her hair and leaned forward. The screens suddenly flickered again, going black again as the rhythmic beat of the music continued.

"Guess who's back, back again? Devil's back, tell a friend."

The screens to the left of them flashed and black letters suddenly appeared, one at a time, twisting and swirling on the screen.

C

"Guess who's back, guess who's back?"

H

"Guess who's back, guess who's back?"

A

"Guess who's back, guess who's back?"

O

"Guess who's back?"

S

The words formed all together, flashing repeatedly on the screens for all to see: CHAOS

There was a sudden explosion in front of a large office building and everyone dove and cowered only to realize it was pyrotechnics going off... and once they dimmed where once had been just the building there now stood Mai Valentine, dressed in a black version of her Duelist Kingdom outfit... who was holding onto the arm of one Edwin Chaos, wearing his suit from Earth-2.

I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to see Edwin no more

They want the Devil, I'm chopped liver

Well if you want the Devil, then this is what I'll give ya

A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor

Some vodka that will jump start my heart quicker

Then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital

By the doctor when I'm not cooperating

When I'm rocking the table while he's operating (hey)

You waited this long to stop debating

'Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating

I know you got a job, Mr. Kaiba

"We do, Master Marik," Odion said. He didn't like that he had to call his brother 'Master' but it was a show of respect for his leader; it would do no good if the other Rare Hunters saw him giving Marik anything but the deepest of respect.

"And the third," Marik said, looking to the final carving, depicting the earliest confrontation between the Pharaoh and his enemies: the Greek Mage Endymion and his student confronting the Pharaoh. "I do not know what caused them to feud but it is clear: Endymion and the Pharaoh were bitter enemies and their battle nearly tore the Nile in two." He shook his head. "And yet this Edwin Chaos... he sides with the Pharaoh and refuses me? Why?"

"Perhaps he is plotting on his own," Odion suggested.

"Perhaps," Marik grumbled. "But that is foolish of him. The way to defeat our foe is to work together, not enact our own conflicts against him. There is too much danger in us colliding at the wrong moment." He shook his head in annoyance; Odion knew that Marik had originally planned to go to Seto Kaiba and offer him rare cards in exchange for helping him defeat the Pharaoh. Ishizu though had seen his plan with her necklace and moved to counter them, allying with Kaiba herself. "Bah, it matters not. All is falling into place." Marik motioned for Odion to follow only to pause, glancing over his shoulder at him. "You have something to say, Odion... I can tell."

"I do not mean to speak beyond my turn, Master Marik-"

"Speak anyway," Marik demanded. "I wish to hear what you have to say."

Odion swallowed at that before saying, "You have made quite clear your distaste for the Tomb keepers-"

"That is putting it mildly, Odion. And far sweeter than I would ever word it." The two of them left the chambers he had set up and moved into the hall. Despite the looks of it, with its stone fa?ade and flickering torches, Odion knew it was all fake. The walls were sculpted and if he punches hard enough he would be able to break through the false wall and reveal the original drywall underneath. The floor appeared to be rock but that was just linoleum. The torches could be snuffed at any time and the hidden light switches flipped to illuminate the hall once more. All of it was fake.

Marik and taken control of the home's owner, some rich playboy who had gained his wealth through the death of family that never loved him and wasted it on cars and women and drugs. It had been easy for Marik to turn the power of the Millennium Rod on the man and mke him into just another mind slave who happily drained his bank account so that Marik could turn the mansion into a replicate of one of the grand tomb keeper temples found outside the Valley of the Kings. They would only be staying here for a week more and then they would be chartering a boat for Domino, Marik needing to take part in the tournament himself. While he would settle for a Rare Hunter defeating the Pharaoh Marik was sure that only he could truly beat his nemesis, either through his own hand or by controlling another and that meant being in the city proper.

"Yet you have done all this," Odion said, gesturing at the walls. "You have us living like tomb keepers. Use the rituals and methods of your forefathers. These robes are merely altered versions of what they wear. The titles and supplications are the same as..."

"As our father's?" Marik asked and Odion forced himself not to wince; their father was a sore subject and Odion did not like to bring the man up. But Marik merely smiled. "That is exactly why I have chosen to use them, Odion."

"I... I do not understand."

Marik entered his room and Odion helped him remove his robe. The master bedroom had been the one place in the entire mansion Marik had left the same; it was modern and bright and held nothing of the old world within it. "My father cared more for ritual than he ever did his family. All in the name of serving the Pharaoh who made us and countless members of our family into his eternal slaves. What better way to get my revenge than to use all he cared for in my quest to destroy the Pharaoh once and for all? By the time Battle City is over all will know the garb of the Tomb keepers as a symbol of destruction. The Rare Hunters I release from my service will tell the tales of how we acted and what we did within these walls and the criminals and police alike will remember the tomb keepers' trappings as those of the vile and corrupt." He smiled as he made his way to the window and for a moment his grin wasn't cruel or vicious and Odion saw his brother once again. "And then we will be free, Odion. They will search for the relics of the past while you and I will disappear into the modern day. We'll ride motorcycles across Europe and visit the great futuristic cities of America and we will shed completely my father's legacy, leaving it forever stained while we will emerge from the mud clean."

"...yes, Master Marik," Odion said, bowing his head as his brother looked out onto the horizon... and their brighter future.

~MC~MC~MC~

"Well, people are certainly talking about you," Mai said, tossing the paper over to me. My uncle, being a major Multimedia Tech Mogul, of course subscribed to every paper in Domino so we were never lacking for reading material or packing material to protect vases and the like. I looked down at the headline that advertised Seto's tournament, which of course was the main headline... and the photos of Seto, Yugi, and myself that dominated the page, the subheading of 'Who Will Win?' emblazed right about our heads. "I am a touch annoyed that they aren't including me with you three but that will just make my wining Battle City all the sweeter."

"That it will," I said with a chuckle before looking over my deck once again. We were in my uncle's condo, Mai and I lounging on the couch, killing time til we headed out. Renard had stripped off his jacket and his dress shirt and was currently working out; Mai and I were going to go for a speed walk later in the day though she was really hinting strongly that we should run... mostly because she wanted me to take my shirt off.

Turns out that if you begin exercising even SLIGHTLY in an anime world you instantly get ripped in a few weeks. So now I had 6 pack abs to go along with the runner's build I already had (honestly I think the anime had actually toned down how muscular my legs were in real life).

"So, planning to register both your decks?" I finally asked as Renard did some squats.

Mai nodded. "I'll most likely run my Amazon deck for the most part but if something happens I want to have my Harpie deck at the ready."

"And you take my advice?" I asked.

"Yes," Mai said with a smirk. "And I must admit that is a clever little idea you had."

The biggest worry I had for us was getting caught in the ante rule. I didn't like to gamble... it fucking annoyed the hell out of me to risk anything to chance. I much preferred to earn what I got through hard work and dedication rather than getting it as a prize. Oh, if someone handed me money as a gift I would take it. But to buy a lotto ticket or plot slots? No thank you. And losing something and getting nothing for it? No no no. That was appalling to me. I was rather like a dragon in that sense, knowing my horde down to the coin and knowing when a piece went missing. Thus the ante rule was my biggest worry with the tournament, as even if I beat all the duelists I took on up to the finals if Marik or Seto or Yugi managed to defeat me (and I was going to go all out this time... it hadn't been bluster the night before as I planned to win, fuck canon) I risked losing one of my Endymion cards.

And that wasn't acceptable.

Thus I decided to do what I always did: take the rules and jailbreak them.

"What about you, Renard?"

"Hmmm?" my bodyguard said.

"You entering just your Fur Hire deck."

The man blinked. "I... wasn't going to enter..."

"Seto invited you so you're in."

"But I should protect you-"

"And you can protect me by being able to duel and help me kick ass," I told him. "If Mai and I lose-"

"I won't!" Mai said cheerfully.

"-then you'll be our only hope to fuck with the Rare Hunters."

The European man was utterly startled at that before a massive grin split his face. "Thank you, Captain."

"More than welcome. So?"

"Yes, just my Fur Hire. I have not found another deck I wish to use."

"Then you'll need your ante card." I walked over to a bookcase my uncle kept in the living room full of binders, each one containing Duel Monster cards because my uncle was a freak who loved this game as much as everyone else. "Mai, what did I give you again?"

"Birdface," Mai said.

"Awesome possum," I said before selecting a card. "Alright Renard, let's get you set up."

"...Hungry Burger?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "That is a rare card but there are several other cards in my deck rarer than this."

"Possibly," I said as I walked over to the table and pulled out a Sharpie. "But..." I pulled off the cap and quickly scribbled my name on the card, "...are any of them signed by two of the Top Duelists in the entire world, including the man that was runner up in Duelist Kingdom?"

"...that his very evil," Renard said with a smirk.

"The. Dev. il." I said slowly with a grin, handing Mai the Sharpie so she could sign the card before she blew on it, making sure the signatures were dry before handing it back to Renard. "Nothing said that the card on its own had to be rare or even powerful. Just 'your rarest card'." I pulled out a card from my deckbox. "In my sidedeck that I will be registering for all of my decks I have this very rare signed Rabidragon card." Renard blinked again before scoffing at the rabbit/dragon hybrid monster card. It was a normal monster, almost as powerful as Seto's Blue-Eyes... and would piss him off to no end if he won it. "It will break my heart to lose it but oh well."

Renard shook his head. "Sometimes I do not think this world is made for the likes of you."

'You have no fucking idea,' I thought to myself.

"So what about these God Cards you mentioned when we met with that Ishizu woman," Mai said. "What is so special about them?"

"The Egyptian God Cards are some of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters. Maybe the most powerful, though that depends on a duelist knowing how to bet them. They have overwhelming abilities that can completely destroy one's strategy. Obelisk can absorb other monsters into himself to increase his attack. Slifer gains power based on the cards in your hand and has a second mouth attack that can eliminate all but the most powerful of monsters... and even then he weakens them. Ra can take all but the very last of your lifepoints to strengthen himself as well as having a shit ton of other annoying abilities."

Renard whistled, wiping his brow with a hankie. "Well, they are rather powerful sounding, but-"

"That is the cards individually," I told him, cutting him off. "Then there are the abilities all three share."

"Which are?" Mai asked slowly.

"They are basically become immune to most card effects. You can try and destroy them but they can power through many spell, trap, and monster effects. And the ones that do affect them only last a single turn; you can block Obelisk with Mirror Wall once but the next turn he will smash right through it. You can place Swords of Revealing on the field but next turn Slifer will attack again. And no matter what you do only another God Card can stop their own effects. Control of them can't be changed. You can't send the back to your opponent's hand. You can't use them as fodder to help yourself... no tributing them to activate an effect, so my Lair of Darkness is out. Once they are on the field they are able to burst through almost all your strategies and lay siege to their foes."

"...well, I am feeling better about my chances," Mai muttered.

"You said many... but not all," Renard stated. "You clearly have thought about how to defeat them..."

"I have. And I suggest you think of it too. Ways to wiggle around the rules, to bend them just enough to make them play to your tune."

"Such as?" Mai asked.

"Phantasmal Dragon," I told her. "It can attack lifepoints directly and the gods can't attack it because the effect isn't against them it is affecting itself. Or your Swordswoman... ram her into a God..."

"And my opponent takes the damage!" Mai declared. "Nice!"

"Very much so." I reached into my jacket and pulled out my deck holders. Endymion. Lair of Darkness. My Mythical Beasts although I could only open that one during Christmas Filler apparently as even the Key refused to make the lock turn so that would be going into my safe. But it was my fourth deck I was most interested in, pulling it. "This... is how I will slay the gods."

"Your Kaiju deck?" Mai asked.

"Yup," I said with a smirk.

"I do not understand."

"The Kaiju work differently from most cards," I stated. "I can tribute a monster on my opponent's side of the field and summon a Kaiju for them. That, in turn, allows me to summon one of my own Kaijus from my hand, creating a grand battle."

Renard frowned though. "But you said that the God Cards can't be tributed."

"To benefit myself," I told him. "But my Kaiju... it isn't benefiting me. It becomes my opponent's card..."

Mai's eyes went wide as she realized what I was saying, Renard following a second later. "You mean the god cards can be tribute by their owners..."

"And the Kaiju becomes the property of the God's owner. Meaning their protection is null and void." I smirked. "Everyone is going to focus on how powerful they are and lose sight of their decks and all their other strategies. Their entire existence will spiral down into the God they control. They will play just to summon their God Card, believing it to be the sole key to victory. But... I am going to make them pay for doing that."

"You are going to take down the gods," Renard said breathlessly.

"What happens," I asked lazily, looking up at the ceiling, "when you make a god bleed? You show that they are not all powerful. That they can be harmed. And when one harms a god... everyone wants to harm them. The blood will be in the water... and the sharks will come and feast. I am going to do that to the holders of the God Cards. I am going to make them bleed."

Mai was utterly quiet, clearly stunned by what I planned to do. I understood... even without having seen one she knew how powerful and awe-inspiring the God Cards were just from my little comments about them. And when she did see Ra and Obelisk and Slifer in action... she would be even more thunderstuck. The idea of slaying such a being was... blasphemous.

Renard, as if sensing my thoughts, shook his head. "I suppose... who better to kill a god... than the Devil?"

"For I see now... tis better to rule in Hell... then serve in Heaven."

And with that, Dogaran the Mad Flame Kaiju pressed between my fingers... I began to laugh.

~MC~MC~MC~

INTO THE CHAOSVERSE OMAKE

The Mr. Chaos of Earth 27

"I am the eternal dragon!" Shenron declared, hovering over Emperor Pilaf and his associates. There had been a fight once the dragon balls had been activates, Bulma and Goku trying to get to the dragon first, Pilaf and his minions moving to make their voices heard only to end up getting tangled up among themselves. "Speak your wish and I shall grant it."

Unnoticed to all of them was Bulma's biographer, the reporter she'd picked up early into her journey who'd agreed to write all about her and her adventures. He'd done all he could to avoid danger, cowering like a coward and taking the mockery of Young Goku and the others for constantly whimpering in fear.

So was it any surprise none of them noticed him whispering quietly as the others fought?

"Shenron, I wish for the ability to summon all 7 dragonballs to my location whenever I desire without anyone other than me realizing it!"

A second after this Oolong called out for Bulma's panties and was delighted when a pair were tossed to him. He, and the others, never realized that it was the reporter who'd tossed the pair, stolen from Bulma's bag, as Shenron granted the wish.

Chaos Edwin chose that moment to quietly slip away, unnoticed.

Several Years Later

He had waited for this moment. Goku beating King Piccalo and thus there was no need for the future Z Warriors to summon the Eternal Dragon for a few years.

Holding out his hand he smirked at the Seven Dragon Balls appeared and with a beam of light Shenron appeared.

"I am the eternal dragon. State your wish and I shall grant it."

Edwin smirked. "Make me immortal."

One Year Later

"I am the eternal dragon. State your wish and I shall grant it."

"I wish that from now until forever I have the strongest power level of anyone in the galaxy I am in"

One Year Later

"I am the eternal dragon. State your wish and I shall grant it."

"I wish that by simply watching someone fight I instantly understand and perform any move or technique they know."

Age 762, November 3

SEVERAL more wishes later...

Nappa looked over the cowering Earthlings before glancing down at Vegeta. "What should we do about these runts?"

"Why don't you decide this time?"

"Aw... you're too kind," Nappa said, holding up his fingers and preparing a blast-

-only to scream when a hand wrapped around his wrist and RIPPED HIS FUCKING ARM OFF.

Vegeta turned only for the new arrival to suddenly grab both his and Nappa's tails before flashing a smirk and kicking them both, causing their tails to rip off as they were sent flying.

"You're wondering who I am," the blond man said as he slowly walked towards them, the earthlings fleeing. "Let's just say... I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say."

Introducing Chaos Edwin

The Future God of Destruction

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