Chapter 55 - 55

Chapter 55

Hello again all of you in Radioland and welcome to another hour of the cortabulous tales of the helpful honed hero who strikes terror in the hearts of all the wicked wandering woebringers! It is time once again for the Adventures of Corpse-Man!

The Adventures of Corpse-Man are brought to you by the Domino City Players and sponsored by Uncle Zigfried' Old Fashion German Brown Sugar Biscuits. Uncle Zigfried's: so good you'll forget that Norse and German aren't the same thing!

Tonight's episode: The Secret Origins of Corpse-Man! So pull up a chair next to the fire. Someone else wants to listen to another program? Too bad! Have tasks you should be performing? Never mind! The President wants to speak? Fuck the State of the Union! Prepare yourself for another spine tingling adventure!

When we last left our hero Corpse-Man was staring down the dreaded kidnapper Renard Volpe, who had just been caught in the act of trying to sneak a poor innocent ten year old girl out of her home-

"Uh, excuse me... I'm 15."

~MC~MC~MC~

Corpse-Man, who had for some reason stopped for about twenty seconds before beginning his rather odd monologue, blinked and looked at Mirabel before letting out a deep throaty laugh.

"Oh little girl! While I know everyone wants to grow up sometimes never forget how precious childhood is!"

"That... has nothing to do with the fact that I'm 15," Mira complained. She glanced at Renard. "Do you know this man?"

"No and my boss usually tangles with magical Egyptian crime bosses."

Mira just blinked before holding her head in her hands. "Why are you people obsessed with proving my abuela right about the outside world?"

"You will be back with your aunt soon enough, little girl!" Corpse-Man said dramatically. "Just as soon-"

"Abuela means grandmother you-" Mira screamed in frustration, only for Renard to grab her shoulder and pull her away from the clearly crazy man.

"-as I deal with this sinister scoundrel!"

"I just rescued her," Renard complained. "She was in a cell. I broke her out."

"A likely story!" Corpse-Man said, tilting his chin up. "But you will find that I am not so easily fooled! I know you are a criminal. No different than people like Naruto Kagenou, who steal fanfics from their true authors and post them on Web Novel!"

"...are you sure you aren't supposed to be dueling my boss?" Renard asked hopefully. "This seems like a situation he should be a part of. He's this tall-" he held out his head, "-blond hair, goatee, has a problem with the rich and powerful even though he's rich and powerful."

"I have no qualms with the noble Green Arrow!"

Renard just shut his eyes. "What. Do. You. Want."

"For you to release the girl."

"Other than that."

Mira raised her hand. "I'm good with leaving you both and just going back in my cell. At this point my kidnappers sound more sane than either of you."

"You will never know the horrors of steel bars, chains, or training bras ever again." Mira mouthed 'training bra' to Renard but at that point his normally unflappable exterior was well and truly shattered and all he could do was give a rather Edwin-like groan.

"And if I say no because you are clearly a lunatic?"

"Then I will defeat you... in a duel!" Corpse-Man activated his duel disc.

"Seriously?" Mira asked. "How crazy-"

"Actually for Domino this is pretty normal," Renard admitted.

"Really?"

"I met my boss after he won a duel to save another kidnapped child."

"...I am never leaving casita again. I will stay in my room and just embroider dresses forever."

"Come now villain!" Corpse-Man declared, pointing right at Renard, "Face your doom here!"

Mira watched as Renard activated his duel disc. "You're actually doing this?"

"Like I said, settling things with duels has become rather commonplace." Renard took out his deck and began to shuffle the cards. "And you agree that when I defeat you it will prove that I'm not some supervillain and you'll let us go?"

"But of course!" Corpse-Man said rather cheerfully... before instantly narrowing his eyes. And it was impressive that Renard could tell that, considering his entire face was covered by his mask. "Though you won't be defeating me. I will be the one doing the defeating of the defeated. And I will then take young Becky Ann back to her farm."

"That's not even... forget it," Mira said, walking over and grabbing a piece of wood that had been leaning against the wall and using it to block the door JUST in case her kidnappers came out to investigate why some loon in a costume was shouting loudly about defeating bad guys.

Renard looked over his hand. 'I need to finish this quick, to get back to Edwin... considering he hasn't found me yet that means he's most likely run into problems himself.'

~MC~MC~MC~

"Where the fuck am I?" I said as I put my hands on my hips, twisting my head one way and then another. "Fucking halls all looking the same..."

~MC~MC~MC~

'The longer I linger here the more I put all of us in danger. Not just Edwin and myself, or even Mira, but this poor man as well. He clearly isn't well and I need to get him to safety before he gets hurt.' As such he selected two cards from his hand. "I set Seal, Strategist Fur Hire in defense mode and set this card on my field, then end my turn." The mustached plotter of the Fur Hires appeared on the field, shifting to sit cross legged on the field while behind him a facedown card appeared.

"A strong opening move... but it will not be enough to defeat me, villain! I will set this card and this monster, both facedown on the field and end my turn."

'Time to get aggressive,' Renard thought to himself. "Because Seal is on the field I am able to summon Rafale, Champion Fur Hire to the field without a tribute directly from my hand!" The bipedal dragon fighter appeared on the field, spinning his weapon before pointing it right at Corpse-Man's down face monster. "And because Rafale was summoned to the field that way I can draw one card." He did just that, nodding at the spell he'd gotten; it would work well later. "And now Rafale-"

"I activate Revendread Reorigin!" Corpse-Man called out, Renard blinking in surprise as the trap appeared; he'd never head of the Revendread cards before. "This card takes your Rafale and infects it with the Revendread virus, turning it into a rotting zombie, and summons it in defense mode on my side of the field. The perfect thing for me to set up your end."

Renard frowned as he looked over the field. 'I could still attack... Rafale is now his but it has no attack or defense. I could shift Seal into attack mode and strike. But I don't like how he wanted to summon that zombie token as quickly as he did... without knowing how the Vendread monsters work I can't risk a rushed attack. Zombie monsters are notorious for being difficult to keep in the graveyard so its entirely possible he WANTS me to destroy his monsters to set up some sort of combo.' The former eliminator sighed. 'As much as I hate to do it I must hold off this turn, at least until I figure out what Corpse-Man is up to.' He paused. 'But that doesn't mean I can build up my field while I wait.'

Out loud Renard declared, "Then I will counter with this: Rookie Fur Hire! This card allows me to set one additional Fur Hire monster on the field, so I set in face up defense position Beat, Bladesman Fur Hire!" The tiny swordsman appeare don the field, spinning his blade before sheathing it and dropping to one knee. "And I end my turn by setting this card on the field."

"You have marshaled your forces well, evildoer, but it is here, at this important moment, that good rises up and shows you just how powerful it is! I activate the ritual spell card Revendread Evolution!" The card appeared and Corpse-Man's downface monster was revealed.

"Ooooohhh!" Mira cried out in disgust and Renard didn't blame her. The beasts before him had once been dogs, that much was clear, but it appeared as if some horrid being had torn them apart and then tried to stitch them back together but couldn't quite remember how every piece fit with the other. Their mouths were too large or in the wrong place, there were extra eyes on some while others had none, and it was impossible to find one that had a coat that matched.

"I can now send my Vendread Houndhorde from my field and another from my deck in order to summon forth the warrior of vengeance and justice that will guide us through this dark night and to the dawn. Come forth Revendread Slayer!"

On the positive side when it came to the monster that was ritual summoned to the field it at least didn't make Mira turn away in disgust. He was a man, or had once been, wearing a dark gray-blue body suit with golden accents and black belts. But bursting from the tops of his feet were bone spikes while bone blades had ripped through the flesh of his arms. His back was adorned with six long bone appendages, looking as if someone had ripped his ribs out and forced them to grow to gigantic proportions. The figures face was obscured by shadow and the truly massive ripped scarf he was wearing but his eyes blazed with red energy that leaked from his sockets.

"Just as I have adopted the terrors of the undead to fight against evil so too has my Revendread Slayer taken in the powers of the horde to strengthen himself. By using my Houndhorde to ritual summon my Revendread Slayer he gains their power, which I use now! By banishing from the graveyard one of my Vendread monsters I can banish one spell or trap on your side of the field!"

Renard winced. 'My Mayhem Fur Hire... that would have helped me out greatly. It seems for being a rather goofy figure this Corpse-Man knows how to duel.' He set his jaw. 'But for all his claims of me being a villain the fact remains that I am fighting for the innocent and those I care for.' Renard glanced at Mira. 'This poor girl was captured by the Rare Hunters to force her uncle to serve them... two victims in this mad vendetta Marik Ishtar has set up against Yugi Muto. And Edwin is still trapped in that warehouse... since he hasn't found me he must have run into trouble.'

~MC~MC~MC~

"Okay, I KNOW I've seen this breakroom before!" I complained, looking at the small kitchenette area that clearly had been part of the warehouse before the Rare Hunters had turned it into a prison. I walked inside and opened the fridge. "Yup... that's the bowl of tuna casserole I saw last time... oh hey, pizza." I pulled out the box and opened it up. "Meat lovers, nice..."

I wiggled my jaw in thought.

"...they are criminals who kidnapped me... and I might need my strength..." I snagged a slice out, almost putting the box back before deciding Renard might want some as well and hell at this point the Rare Hunters might belief I was a delivery boy so why not carry it around? "Now, what do they have to drink..."

~MC~MC~MC~

"Now, summoning my Revendread Slayer this way didn't come without cost. At the end of your turn he will fall, unable to contain the power he gained from my Houndhorde. But until then..." Corpse-Man thrust out his hand. "Attack his Beat, Bladesman Fur Hire!"

Renard winced as the Slayer rushed forward, the bone appendages rocketing out and spearing Blade, causing the Fur Hire warrior to twitch before he shattered into pieces. It was only because renard had been smart enough to keep him monster in defense mode that he didn't lose any life points.

"And a activate Vendread Resurrgance, which allows my Slayer to attack twice this turn, destroying your Seal!" Once more the Slayer leapt forward, taking out Renard's field completely. "I will now set this card on the field and end my turn."

"So this doesn't seem to be going well," Mira pointed out as Renard drew his next card.

"Yes," Renard admitted. "He is far more skilled at dueling that I thought."

"But of course!" Corpse-Man said. "I am the world's first Dueling Superhero!" He said that with utter pride... far more than someone who said without a drop of irony that they were a 'dueling superhero' should have. "Of course dueling comes natural to me... I knew my way around a deck before I became the rotting roundhouse of righteousness you see before you!"

"You were a duelist?" Renard said, surprised, though honestly he supposed he shouldn't have been that startled; it seemed like over the last year nearly everyone in the world had been infect by dueling fever.

"But of course! How I came to move beyond that passion and take up my noble crusade is a tale that is known only to me! For it must remain that way to protect myself."

"Alright," Renard said. "Then I-"

"So how did noble Corpse-Man come to be, dear listener? Why, turn up the dial, gather your family close, as we reveal at last the Secret Origin of Corpse-Man!"

"Didn't he just-" Mira began only for Renard to hold out a hand, getting her to grow quiet.

"I think it best we just let him do this... I don't think he even remembers we are standing here."

"Our tale begins on an island in the Asian Pacific..."

~Some Harp Music and a ripple dissolve to half a year ago...~

"I can't believe we lost to that fool Joey Wheeler!" Bonz whined, looking at his deck in disgust.

"Technically we didn't lose anything, Bonz," Sid said, adjusting his glasses. "You were the one that mess things up."

"I did not!" Bonz declared, glaring at the taller duelist. "He managed to find a loop hole in my brilliant strategy. A single one! If not for that Sword and Shield card he would have lost and we'd be heading up to the castle!"

"And if you had actually planned ahead for something like that to happen, Bonz, we still would," Sid said in annoyance.

"Oh, you think you could have done better?"

"Of course!" Sid declared. "I told you I should have dueled Wheeler but you said you wanted the honor! My zombie elves would have overrun Wheeler's monsters!"

"You have two zombie elves and they aren't even that strong!" Bonz complained.

"And with his effect the moment he appears on the field he inspires such great terror in his foes that one surrenders at once, disappearing to the graveyard!" Folgo slowly released the grip on his sword and bowed his head before shattering. "And now my Revendread Executioner will destroy your Dyna! Rotting Claw of Justice!" The zombie leapt forward, lashing out and easily shattering Renard's defense position monster. "And with that you are left open next turn to face punishment for your crimes!

"Not quite!" Renard declared. "Reveal my facedown: Training Fur Hire, Fur All Your Training Needs! This card allows me to special summon one Fur Hire Monster directly from my deck to the field!" He took out his deck and carefully looked over the monsters he had before selecting the perfect one. "If there is one thing I have learned it is that your monsters refuse to stay dead. So to prevent your to Revendreads from having a team up I will summon a second Dyna in defense mode and use his effect to banish your Revendread Slayer from your graveyard!" He smirked. "And now... its my turn!"

"Wooo!" Mira cried out, pumping her fist. "Uh... that was a 'wooo' moment, right?" Renard nodded. "Wooo!"

"I'll start by giving up my draw phase in order to activate Fandora the Flying Furrtress' special ability, which allows me to add one Fur Hire Monster from my deck to my hand. Next I will summon a second Seal, Strategist Fur Hire, in attack mode." The wise Fur Hire planner appeared on the field with a nod. "And because he was summoned to the field I can now special summon this monster from my hand: Bravo, Fighter Fur Hire!"

"So," Mira asked as the lizard warrior appeared and spun his blades, "is it still called a furry if it isn't... er... furry?"

"Antrho," he reminded her.

"I heard they are called scalies," Corpse-Man chimed in helpfully.

Renard merely pressed on past that little debate. "And I activate the next effect, which allows me to add one of my Fur Hire Monsters from my graveyard back to my hand." Selecting a card he held it up. "And now with Bravo on the field I can special summon this card right back to the field. Come forth Beat!" The small bladesman Fur Hire appeared, spinning his own weapon before moving to stand next to Bravo. "And that trigger's Bravo's other effect, allowing me to increase the attack of all the monsters on my field by 500." He smirked, eyes have shut. "And I'm not done yet."

"There's more?!" Corpse-Man exclaimed.

"Far more!" Renard promised him. "I now can use Beat being on the field to special summon Sagitta, Maverick Fur Hire in defense mode!" The dark raven Fur Hire appeared on the field, unslinging a sniper rifle from her back and carefully looking it over before dropping down to her belly and aiming right at Corpse-Man. "And when she is summoned to the field two things happen. First, Beat's effect activates allowing me to add a Fur Hire card to my hand. Second, with all my Fur Hire Monsters on the field Sagitta is able to unload a payload directly into your lifepoints, 500 damage for each Fur Hire. Sagitta, Sniper Fur Hire!"

Corpse-Man cried out as he was sent stumbling back and the barrage of hologram builts exploded around him taking out half his lifepoints (Corpse-Man: 2000)

"A strong effort," the hero said, rubbing his chest, "but I possess all the powers of a corpse! Bullets can not harm me!"

"Then let's just deal with your Executioner and end this duel!" Renard shouted, thrusting out his hand. "I shift Dyna to attack mode and with the added boost from Bravo he is now as strong as your Revendread Slayer! I ram him right at him, losing me Dyna by eliminating your monster!" Dyna let out a roar and leapt right at the Executioner, the two trading powerful blows that made Fandora tremble even as Dyna led the zombie hero to the edge of the ship, giving a final nod to his crew before taking both of them over the edge. "A noble sacrifice but one that leaves you open for a final assault by my Beat and my Bravo to allow me to win the duel! Bravo, attack!"

The lizard Fur Hire nodded and rushed forward...

...only for Revendread Executioner to rise up back onto the deck.

"WHAT?!" Renard shouted in shock.

"Death can not claim one dedicated to justice!" Corpse-Man cried out. "By banishing my ritual card from my graveyard my monster was spared."

Renard grit his teeth. 'Damn it all... and now my Fur Hires are left in attack mode and left open for a full assault! I was counting on defeating him this turn and now he's not only bought himself more time but a chance to go after my lifepoints!'

"I am afraid that the curtain draws to a close on our battle, villain. For now... the night has come. I activate Vendread Nights!" The field spell activated, bathing the entire battleground in darkness and below the Fandora Renard could see a city teaming with hordes of the undead while the citizens cried out for a savior. "With this card on the field I can now discard a Vendread card to add one Vendread monster to my hand and I summon it now! Come forth Vendread Strigies!" Much like the Houndhorde the Strigies were birds that had been ripped apart by some dark force and then assembled back together. Multiple eyes, misshappened wings, and a thirst for blood. "And now I will ram my Strigies into your Beat!"

The former eliminator frowned as the Strigies were destroyed. "Why would you... no. You must NEED them in your graveyard!" (Corpse-Man: 1300)

"Exactly. For the night is dark and only one hero stands against the forces of evil... and he can not tire. As such every time my monster destroys one of your monsters I can banish a Vendread from my graveyard to allow him to attack again! So my Strigies and the final Houndhorde in my graveyard will leave the game to allow my Revendread Executioner to take out your Beat-"

Beat cried out as the bone claw raced out, piercing him and shattering him. (Renard-2700)

"-your Bravo-"

The fighter could not out dodged the attacks and soon he too was destroyed (Renard-1600)

"-and your Seal!"

The strategist had no way out from the vicious assault. (Renard-200)

"Next turn... will be your end," Corpse-Man said. "You will pay for your crimes."

'He's right... one more turn,' Renard thought to himself, looking at his deck. 'But my Fur hires... I have long trusted them to get me out of any dark situation. They have never failed me... even in a lose they helped me find the Captain. And now I need to get away from this man, to get Mira to safety and then find Edwin. So I look to you, my dear friends... and DRAW!'

He looked at the Pot of Dichotomy he'd gained.

'...that was slightly anticlimactic,' he mentally winced. It was a good card... just not the game changer he wanted. "I now use Pot of Dichotomy, which allows me to shuffle three monsters with different types from my graveyard into my deck and the draw two cards. But I will not be able to conduct my battle phase." He did just that, taking a calming breath before drawing once more...

...and Renard smirked.

"This... is your end," he declared. "First I summon Beat in defense mode, and then use his effect to special summon Filo once more." The two small Fur Hires appeared on the field. "And Filo allows me to add one Fur Hire monster from my deck to my hand. And that monster-" He turned the card his Duel Disc spat out for Corpse-Man to see. "Is Sagitta."

"No..." Corpse-Man whispered.

"Yes," Renard confirmed. "I don't need my battle phase to defeat you... because I was never your enemy, Corpse-Man! I am not the villain here! The real villains are inside and I am going to end this duel so I can go back in there and save my friend! I summon Sagitta to the field and activate her effect, doing 1500 effect damage to your lifepoints and ending this duel!"

Corpse-Man merely nodded as his lifepoints disappeared in a blast of sniper fire, the Fandora disappearing as the Vendread Night ended and the sky returned to normal. (Corpse-Man: 0000)

"I see... I was wrong," the costumed man said.

"Yes, for-"

"You are a fellow superhero!" Corpse-Man declared with a laugh. "I should have known from the gaudy coat and ridiculous hair style!"

Renard reached up and touched his tuffed up hair.

"Ah, the classic hero misunderstanding before they unite to stop a common threat! How I have longed for one!" He placed his hands on his hips once more. "My apologizes, old chum! To make up for my mistake I give you these 5 locator cards I removed from some thugs just an hour ago!" He tossed the cards to a now utterly baffled Renard.

"Wait... you had Six locator cards? That means you could have-"

But Corpse-Man held up his hand, stopping him. "Come, Captain Furry Fucker-"

"...nooooo."

"-let us save your captain!"

And with that Corpse-Man ran... in the wrong direction.

"Would you mind terribly if we lied and said I was delayed trying to pick the lock on your cell?" Renard asked Mira.

"Yeah, that works for me."

~MC~MC~MC~

I heard someone murmuring behind a door and let out a sigh of relief. Either it was another prisoner that I could safe, Renard, or it was some Rare Hunter I could fuck with. While I still only had the most basic of fighting moves (Renard was trying to teach me and even with the Anime giving me some muscle memory I was apparently still utter shit in Mr. Volpe's opinion) I did have the Millennium Key and honestly I was so done with wandering around the maze that was the warehouse that I was willing to pull a Yami Bakura and just begin unleashing Shadow Realm magic.

'Something I really need to begin practicing,' I thought to myself as I shifted the pizza box I was still holding. 'As much as I loathe to use the power its stupid to set aside a tool that can help me. And the Millennium Key is a tool.' My jaw worked though as I remembered just how it had come about. I wondered just whose blood was mixed in the golden item that now could sink into my chest at will. 'Nearly every user of the Millennium Items have been corrupted by them. Pegasus. Bakura. Marik. Ishizu... that's my personal bias speaking but I can't be sure yet if she's on the straight and narrow or if her own corruption just happens to align with what Yugi needs to survive Zorc. Same with Shadi... the shadowy bastard could have saved so much time and energy had he clued Yugi into some things.' I looked down at my chest, rubbing it with my free hand. 'And now I've gone from freaking out about having the Key to casually throwing around my glowing eyes. It's a very slippery slope... if I'm not careful I might end up taking Selene up on her offer.'

People misunderstood my fear of power. They thought I had some weird phobia about it. Perhaps even that I was some sub that liked to be weak; I'd played the role of sub sometimes, sure, but only because I was basically a Loki, happily shifting from sub to dom, alpha to beta back to alpha again. So long as it allowed me to play a role, any role. The Trickster so did love to act.

But no... my fear was not of power itself. It was what I might BECOME. The Ring of Power... with it I would seek to do good but instead I would become everything I hated and despised. That is what I feared.

And now I found myself with a Millennium Item that I was willing to use and a goddess offering me eternal life and power to match. And oh... how easy it would be to grasp that. But in doing so I'd have to let go of my morals. My values. Everything that made me... me.

I'd become no better than Aiden fucking Order.

'The only person not to be corrupted by power in the world is Yugi, honestly, and he has-oh.' I blinked. 'You fucking idiot.'

Pegasus was not close to his servants.

Marik had abandoned his sister and truly lost it when Odion was knocked out.

Bakura's natural shyness had allowed him to be taken over by Zorc's shade.

Alone. They were all alone.

Yugi had friends to keep him grounded, to keep him sane.

Same as me.

I smiled as I called forth the key.

Time to get one of my friends fucking back.

"PIZZA DELIVERY!" I called out as I stormed into the room, ready to go on the attack against a Rare Hunter or make a joke if there was a scared prisoner.

"Oh, how delightful. I suppose you don't have some plates and napkins?"

I found neither of those things sitting in the cell.

"Pegasus," I whispered in shock as I stared at the creator of Duel Monsters who was resting on a stool, looking at me through the bars of the cage.

"Hello Eddy-boy."

"...fuck me, Marik has balls," I muttered as I walked over to the lock on the cell door and used the key to open it. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here."

"Well, I was going to be happy with the food but I suppose a rescue is even better," Pegasus said with a light laugh. "But... I must ask... who is Marik?"

"Marik Ishtar. Head of the Rare Hunters." I looked back at Pegasus who just blinked in confusion. "Guys in purple robes... tend to be mind controlled."

"Eddy-boy... I have no idea who you are referring to."

I felt my insides turn to ice.

"Pegasus... who kidnapped us?"

"Me," a familiar voice said. I turned and stared...

...at the pint size fuck fetishist eliminator jag off who was leering at me.

"Aw fuck," I grumbled as I stared at Bruno, the frog fucker from Duelist Kingdom.