~~
Emmalee
~~
When I had found Carter at my door I did not expect that he would give me my first kiss before he was even in the room. Or that it would be so mind numbingly, brain meltingly, heart stoppingly amazing. I had followed his lead and let him guide me through it and I thought I was going to die of happiness, embarrassment, and nervousness all at once. But nothing could ever ruin that moment. It was ours, mine and his, and it would always be just like that.
"Maybe you should come into the room, so we can talk." I smiled at him encouragingly. I didn't know if he was going to let his guards down and come in or if we still had to build up to that. After that kiss though, I had hoped things were better.
"Yeah, I think we should definitely talk." He smiled right back at me as he followed me into the room.
I saw him look around the room for a moment, taking in the layout of the area as he got himself steadied. After he took a deep breath I took him by the hand, it just felt natural and right. And the smile he gave me when I held his hand could have melted an iceberg, I know it melted my heart.
I led him by the hand over to the lavender loveseat in the sitting area. It was soft and would be perfect for the two of us to talk. I could have chosen the couch instead, but we were closer here and I liked how close he was to me.
With my eyes locked onto his, my heart racing a mile a minute, and a smile firmly locked into place it was time for us to talk.
"Carter." I said his name, finally knowing it made me happy, being able to see the look in his eyes when I said was almost worth the three months of heartache, almost. "I want this to move forward between us, in a good way. In a positive way. I think we need to get to know each other, so we can be true mates one day." He was already nodding his head before I was done talking.
"Yes, oh Goddess, yes. That's what I want too. I never want us to be apart. I mean I know we can't spend every moment together, but I don't want us separated like we were before. I want us to be here for each other so I can spend forever making up for the stupid things that I did."
"At least you admit they were stupid." I laughed at him. "That means you have potential."
"I want to get to know you. I want to date you. When you're ready we will get married and have a family. But we will do it all at your pace, Emmalee, I never want to rush you or pressure you at all."
I couldn't help it, I laughed at his sincerity.
"Carter, we don't have to try so hard. I know that you're the mate for me. I can feel it in my heart, my wolf knows it, that's all that matters right now. The Goddess chose you for me and I trust her. And I will learn to trust you too. But until then, we will get to know each other. And I like the sound of dating."
"Have you dated anyone before?" He asked me, it was clear that he was nervous about my answer as he looked at me with expectant eyes.
"No, I haven't." I looked away, embarrassed. "I've never been with anyone before."
"So, that was your-." He trailed off, unable to finish his question.
"That was my first kiss." I blushed.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." I cut him off before he could say anymore, before he could regret what he did or make me regret it. "I loved it, I was happy that you kissed me. I wanted you to, but I was too shy to ask you to."
"But I shouldn't have rushed it."
"It made me really happy Carter, so please don't be sorry." I was pleading with him and he finally nodded his agreement.
As I was watching him, I had a sudden thought. He didn't kiss me like it was his first time. He had kissed me like a man who had experience with that sort of thing before.
"Umm, Carter, have you, dated much?" I was afraid to hear his answer, especially after I saw his eyes go wide.
"W-we-well I-I have dated a c-couple times." He stuttered, nervously. "It was nothing serious, just casual. You know we don't ever date anyone seriously because our mates could come along at any time."
"I know." I didn't know why it made me sad to hear that he had dated people before me, but it made me feel upset and jealous and sad all at the same time.
"I'm sorry. I never should have dated anyone. I should have saved all my firsts for you." He looked upset as he leaned forward, grabbing my hands in his and holding on tight.
"You can just share in my firsts. Isn't that what counts?"
"Yes, that's all that matters. Because nothing before you mattered at all, my life didn't truly begin until I saw you that day. Hell, it didn't truly begin until today. You helped to wake me up, to bring me to life."
His words were making me want to cry. He was being so sweet right now. I could trust that he hadn't been promiscuous, but I knew he had experience. That much was obvious.
"Enough with the histories, that's not a good road to go down yet." I giggled, worried for the future conversation we'd have about it. "Let's learn more about each other."
"Yeah." He looked relieved as he smiled at me.
I know we would usually learn this stuff over time, but I thought it would be fun to play a little game with it all.
"Want to play twenty questions?"
"An ice breaker?" He looked apprehensive.
"A way to learn a lot in a little bit of time."
"Sounds like a plan." He agreed more readily than I had thought he would. "You start."
It was my turn, and I was going to use my questions to learn about him and my possible future.
"Where did you go to college?"
"I haven't yet." He answered quickly. "Trinity's life was too miserable for me to leave her behind. So I skipped and stayed with her." His answer was so sweet.
"You love your family." I smiled contentedly at him. He nodded before he spoke again.
"My turn." His smile was sweet and innocent. "What's your favorite color?"
"I love them all, but if I had to pick, I would say purple. It's such a pretty, soothing color to me. What's your favorite color?" I asked him, this was fun, getting to know each other like this.
"Green." He smiled happily looking into my eyes. "That beautiful shade of green that is your eyes. I've never seen anything more beautiful." His words made me smile and I squirmed to hide the blush I knew was deepening on my cheeks and ears. "What did you want to do, career wise, when you started college?"
"Honestly I didn't know. I just love being around people and making them happy, but I don't really like school." I put my head in my hands, ashamed.
"There's nothing wrong with that. You're a people person. And you like to plan parties right? I had heard that somewhere, why not go for event planning." My head shot up.
"Why hadn't I thought of that." I grinned at him. "I can actually get a degree in party planning and make even more people happy. I can have my own party planning business. Oh Carter, you're amazing." I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him excitedly. Then I seemed to remember what I was doing and I pulled myself away from him in a hurry. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He was smiling. "It's your turn."
"Well, what are you going to do for your future?"
"Well, right now I am a scout, for the pack. But I don't know if I want to be that forever. I never thought about a career because I didn't want to leave Trinity with no one to help her with my grandfather. But things are different now so I will have to seriously think about it."
"We're still young and we have time." He nodded at me happily.
"Which pack would you want to live in?" His question was a serious one, one that we would need to put a lot of thought into, but I knew what I wanted.
"I wouldn't care, as long as I was with my mate." I looked up at him through the lashes of my half lidded eyes. "I guess it would depend on careers. Our packs are allies so we could live in either one and be happy, right?"
"That we could."
"What kind of music do you like?" I was too embarrassed to ask any serious questions.
"I like lots of different kinds of music. If it's catchy, has good lyrics or a good beat I'd probably like it. I get made fun of sometimes for the vast variety of music I like."
"Oh my Goddess, I am the same way. But different music fits different moods, it's the only way to truly appreciate it all."
"What kind of house would you want?" Another major question from him.
"I grew up in the pack house and that's great and all, but I don't need anything like that. I wouldn't care as long as I was comfortable and had just what we needed." My words made my heart ring with truth and I smiled to myself. "What's your favorite place to be?"
"Now, or when I was younger?"
"Now."
"Wherever you are." I was so taken by his words that my jaw actually dropped. I wanted to bury my face in my hands and hide my crimson cheeks, but I also didn't want to look away from his handsome, smiling face and those love filled eyes. "How many kids do you want to have?" I did bury my face at that one, choosing to instead answer the question through my fingers, causing the words to come out muffled.
"I don't know. I never thought about it before. But a couple I guess." I heard a soft chuckle come from him as he heard my embarrassed answer.
"You're so adorable."
We continued on in this way for quite a while. It didn't progress beyond our game of twenty questions, but we got to know a lot about each other. Favorite foods, things we did when we were younger, good memories, bad memories, there wasn't anything off limits and that was wonderful.
Just as he was getting ready to leave I walked him to the door and he gave me another one of those kisses. I felt his lips press against mine softly at first but the intensity grew. I was holding onto him for support as my knees went weak, and by the time it was done my heart was pounding and my breaths were coming in pants. He had affected my head, my body, and my heart all with just a kiss. What was I getting myself into?