Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Four - Say Hello to My Not-So-Little Friend

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Four - Say Hello to My Not-So-Little Friend

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Four - Say Hello to My Not-So-Little Friend

Oh boy, I whispered.

There were a lot of things that could go wrong.

Honestly, most of those things had really negative consequences for the mafia people, more than anyone else, but I didnt want to see my new friend eating people, not even criminals.

And then I had to consider whether or not my friends and I would be caught in the crossfire.

I would have to do my best to keep everything nice and civil!

The problem was, I had no idea what to do. This entire thing would end in disaster. My friends, as awesome as they were, werent equipped to deal with this. Awen was a bit shy, and Amaryllis was a bit... a lot rude. Shed make things worse.

I closed my eyes for a moment and asked myself a vital question. What would Abraham do?

I coughed to clear my throat. Hello Cholondee. Youre just in time, theres some tea left.

The dragoness turned her head my way, something that had fedora-wearing goons toppling over themselves to get out of the way. Her long spiney back-sail perked up the same way that my ears did, but cooler. You have tea? she asked.

The dragon eyed the still steaming kettle on the little table, the kettle that was smaller than... literally any one of her body parts. Im certain Don Grenouille wouldnt mind fetching a larger kettle. Or maybe a pot.

Ah, the old grenoil said.

See, I said. Then, even though it was a little rude, I pointed to some of the goons who flinched back as if my finger were a primed pistol. You and you. Go put some water to boil. And please do so quickly, leaving a guest waiting is wrong.

Ah, youre under guest rights, Cholondee asked as she wiggled a claw to get some of the fountain that got caught there out.

Actually, Don Grenouille didnt want to extend those, I said. He did provide tea!

I--I can extend zem! the Don said, the first time he spoke since Cholondee arrived.

No, I think were fine as we are, Amaryllis said.

I wasnt entirely sure what guest rights were, or how they were important, but I had the impression that Don Grenouille had maybe made a bit of a misstep there, and that Amaryllis was really enjoying the fact.

Huh. Well, whatever. So whats going on? Did we find the jerks who were messing with my brothers girlfriend?

I nodded, then gestured to the very pale Don. Yeah. These are the ones that messed with Booksies shop. They dont seem all that bad. Though, uh, I looked to Big Green. They did ambush and try to kidnap us earlier. Im not saying theyre evil or anything, but kidnapping is usually a bad thing. Um... depending on the circumstances.

Awen was a special case, of course. Kidnapping in the name of friendship was alright.

Cholondee eyed the nearest gangster who raised his cane as if that would do anything. It is around breakfast time, she said.

We had breakfast, I pointed out.

Second breakfast. Im hungry. And also a dragon.

I bit my lower lip. Wait!

Cholondee looked my way. So did a bunch of the goons. We, uh, still have questions for them.

Right, right, cant do that if theyre eaten, the dragon agreed. Well, get asking.

I nodded really fast, turned towards the Don who didnt look so confident and scary in his wheelchair anymore, and then blanked on what sort of question I could ask.

Not be hungry?

I blanked for a good long moment. Then an idea struck me like one of Amaryllis lightning bolts. If you start eating the goons, theyll never respect you as their leader.

Cholondee paused. The goons paused. Even the one in her claws stopped screaming.

Th-think about it! Theres a bunch of things going on, the Morepoles are going to be in a whole heap of trouble, and they totally owe you for messing with your brothers maybe-girlfriends shop. So you can take them over. The Don can teach you how to run the mafia, and you can turn it into a much better, nicer organization. No more rackets and stealing and such.

That sounds like a lot of work, Cholondee said.

I mean, it kind of is, but look at the slums. You could make them way better, and then theyd all really appreciate you. And, um, thats worth more than a lot of gold, isnt it?

I could see that I was almost onto her, but not quite.

And think of the hats! No, wait, thats a bit silly. I mean, you would look really good in a cool hat, but thats not a reason to take over the mafia. I waved my hand around as if beating away a bad smell. Think of the opportunity to, to... improve others. And command all of these people that just need a bright, strong leader like you. When people ask them what are you it wont just be Im a grenoil itll be Im a grenoil that works for the best dragon.

Cholondee was nodding really slowly. I like it, she said. I could become the queen of the... whats this place called? she asked the Don.

Ze Scumways?

Oh, yuck. No, wed need to rename it to something better.

I sighed. She wasnt going to eat anyone. That was great. Now she was just going to be the dragon queen of the underworld. Which...

Amaryllis was staring at me with a very flat expression. Have I told you that youre an idiot today?

I think so?

Ah, then perhaps moron? Fool? Halfwit? Im also partial to dunce.

I tried a smile. At least no one died?

So, how does this mafia thing work? Cholondee asked. When do we kidnap princesses and take the nobles gold?

I tried not to crumble. Its more complicated than that, I said. You know what. You should work with Booksie. Shes nice. Real nice. And she can teach you all there is to know about, uh, this stuff. Im sure people would respect you a lot more if they thought of you as a protector and friend than as a greedy dragon.

I can be a protector. And also a dragon, Cholondee said. Yes. This seems fun. I also get to play dress-up with all of these little people, right? I think their uniforms are drab and boring.

Sure, I said. Just... please take your time. Youre a dragon, you should do your best to be the best, and the best wouldnt eat anyone. In fact, Im sure that none of the other Dons eat their goons, right? I asked the last while looking to Don Grenouille. Or maybe it was now former Don Grenouille.

Zats right.

Aww, Cholondee said. Wait, does that mean Im now Don Cholondee?

Yes, I said.

The dragon grinned, some of the goons fainted. I should tell my brother! She raised her wings high above, then took off with a burst of wind that threw our tea table aside.

The goons Id sent to fetch a pot of boiling water walked back just in time to see the dragon leaving.

There was a nice, long moment of quiet after that.

Right, well, I said. I think our business here is done. I smoothed down the front of my skirts, then bowed to Don Grenouille. Thanks for having us, and thanks for the tea. Well be going now.

I grabbed my friends and moved the heck out of the courtyard. Surprisingly, no one tried to stop us.

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