Chapter Three Hundred and Nine - Weedbane the Dandelion Slayer

Chapter Three Hundred and Nine - Weedbane the Dandelion Slayer

Chapter Three Hundred and Nine - Weedbane the Dandelion Slayer

I always loved opening presents. It never happened too often, which made every event where I did get a gift that much more special.

Technically, the boxes that Caprica had sent over werent presents--they lacked the always-fun wrapping paper--but I decided to count it as one anyway.

The box tagged Broccoli Bunch was as long as I was tall (not counting my ears) but quite thin, made of some sort of wood covered in leather bound in place with big knobby brass studs. It was quite long, longer than any of the other boxes by a good bit.

My tail was twitching with nervous energy, and my cheeks were starting to hurt.

Well, are you going to open it today, or are you just going to stare at the box? Amaryllis asked.

I havent decided yet, I admitted. "On the one hand, opening the box means I get the present. On the other, leaving it closed means I get to anticipate the present, and sometimes thats even more fun.

You... you absolute moron, Amaryllis muttered. Come on, open it up or I will.

No! You cant! Opening a present is a sacred moment, I said. Dropping to my knees in front of the box, I undid the two clasps holding it shut, then pulled the top open.

What waited for me within was a long wooden staff with a curve near its middle and a small handle poking out mid-shaft. At the end was a curved blade tucked along the side of the shaft, long and narrow and super thin, made of something that almost glowed. It was fixed to the end of the staff by a rather complicated looking swivel mechanism, with some sort of lock on it.

A scythe? Awen asked.

Huh, I said. Reaching down, I grabbed the scythe by the middle and lifted it up. The blade clunked down and something went snick as it locked into place. With an unfolding blade. Not what I expected.

Its a gardening tool, Amaryllis said. Or farming, I suppose. Magical too.

Magical? I used Insight on the scythe.

Weedbane, Ancient

Whoa, I said.

I noticed Amaryllis crouching down next to the box for a moment, and when she stood, she had a small note in hand. A bit of history on your new toy, she said.

Oh? I asked. I looked around for a place to put the scythe, then handed it to Awen when she reached for it. I want to see.

Amaryllis handed me the note.

Dear Broccoli,

This old thing has been sitting in storage for an eternity. I believe it was gifted to a gardener who worked at the old palace, but no one has claimed it since. It should be enchanted with a few dozen old utility spells. May it serve you well in your quest to rid the world of a new sort of weed.

--Caprica

The writing was hasty, but still very pretty. So, its old, huh.

That's good. Older items tend to interact better with their own enchantments, Amaryllis said.

The mechanism heres not too complicated. See, its just a bolt that unfolds and locks the blade in place, with a little leaf-spring to keep the bolt from unlatching. You just need to press in... here. Awens face went red as she pressed hard on a little stub with her thumb. Something eventually clicked, and she was able to refold the scythes blace. Easy.

Cool, I said as I took Weedbane back. How do I even use this? Theres a handle here, and I guess you hold this part?

This was going to be a great improvised weapon, if the level of improvisation was equivalent to how hard it was to use as a weapon. Maybe if I planned to exclusively fight people by hitting their ankles. Or if I was fighting really short enemies.

I gave the scythe an experimental swing, then held back. It was the sort of thing that would require a lot of space to move around in, and we werent in a very spacious room.

Watch it with that thing, Amaryllis said. I bet the edge is magically sharpened.

The class given by their dungeon is the Flatulent Boomer class. Deadly, yes, but perhaps not a name worthy of polite company, the Knight Captain said.

I held back a giggle with great effort. Yup, thats... yeah. Nightie Knight sounds much cuter.

What kind of threat are we talking about here? Amaryllis asked. A five-floor dungeon wont be without risks.

Covenseeker nodded. Indeed. But you wont need to worry about any of that. Well have some of the very best down there with us. And Ive gone through the dungeon a dozen times already. Nothing will harm a hair on our heads, I promise it on my honour.

The generals all nodded and made a big show of making it look like what he was saying was very impressive.

If you say so, I said.

You just need to worry about showing us how to get rid of those nasty roots that settled in. Quite the pest, I hear.

Have you tried to deal with them? I asked.

We sent a few younger knights down to deal with them, but they came back banged up and bruised and claiming that there was nothing to be done. Silly young boys that dont know better. Well show them how it's done.

Right, I said.

I glanced at my friends who both seemed equally worried. Being confident was great and all, but sometimes the Evil Roots turned a dungeon weird, and that might mean that previous experience in the dungeon wasnt worth as much.

Well, thank you, Knight Captain Covenseeker. Im sure well all feel very safe down in the dungeon. Do you know how long it will take to get there?

Another half hour, winds willing, he said. Our little fort isnt all that far from the capital. That way if an emergency arises, well be some of the first on the scene.

I felt like that last part was directed to the others more than it was to us. Was he going to use this trip as a way to make the Knights of the Long Rest look better? That wasnt terribly kind.

Well go rest for a bit then, I said. Maybe get our stretching done before we have to walk all over the dungeon.

Of course, of course, he said.

My friends and I excused ourselves to the far end of the room where we found some seats next to one of the only portholes on this level of the ship.

Theyre clueless, Amaryllis said. Or theyre downplaying the threat posed by an Evil Root.

How long do you think the root has been there? I asked.

She frowned. They sent people in. Which means they knew about it. Call it one day to learn about it, a day to send someone in, another to return to the capital and ask for assistance, then today. So that the very least four days have passed. Thats a strict minimum. Im going to assume that the root has been active for much longer.

That might be troublesome, I said.

Awen nodded. Were going to have to be careful. Plus, well be going in with a lot of people.

Wont that make it easier? I asked.

These wont be expert adventurer buns taking things very seriously, Amaryllis said. Half of the people well be with will be there because theyre an expert of some sort or another, not a fighter. We might have to carry a lot of dead weight.

Oh, I said

This whole expedition was starting to feel like a bit of a bad idea.

Were just going to have to do our best, I guess, I said. Make sure everyone that goes in comes out in tip-top shape, and wipe out the root while were at it. Maybe theyll take the threat of the roots more seriously too?

We can only hope.

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