Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-One - Have Your Day in Court

Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-One - Have Your Day in Court

Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-One - Have Your Day in Court

The judge was attention-grabbing, being all... big and judge-y behind a big desk with a meat-tenderizer and gavel, but what caught my eye more were the monsters in the stand to the side. It seemed as if they were the jury for the first trial.

Big Mouth Goblin Judge, level 6, Hungry

The monsters were little green guys, with mouths that stretched out from one side of their face to the other. They had lots of sharp, crookedy teeth, and every last one of them was wearing their Sunday best.

That was, they were wearing dirtied up suits and sundresses with big stains down the front and rips in the cloth.

The judge, a much larger goblinoid, banged his gavel. "Order! Order!" he barked before sweeping a hand across his face to displace some of the white tangles of his wig. "We are here to judge the case of You Lot versus Our Stomachs!"

My friends and I glanced at each other, then silently elected Caprica to be spokessylph for the group. She stepped up and cleared her throat. "What are we accused of, your honour?" she asked.

The judge narrowed his eyes. "Are you the defendant's legal representative?" he asked, each word enunciated very carefully.

Caprica nodded. "I am, you honour."

"Hmm hmm, then you must understand, that this case is pro-risotto!""

"I... that's not a legal term," Caprica said.

The gavel came down with three quick smacks. "Contempt of court! We will recess for one hour! You will have to present your case after that time, or you'll become the case!"

Caprica blinked, then turned back towards us. I shrugged back. "Your honour, where can we, ah, better prepare our case?"

The judge-goblin huffed, then pointed off to the side, where there was a small wooden door. "You may take your recess in the lunchbreak room! Dismissed!"

The jury-goblins cheered and shouted as we gathered up again. "I guess we can check out the break room?" I asked.

"Or we beat the lot senseless," Amaryllis muttered.

"Amaryllis, that's not how court works," I said.

"I don't think most of this is how court works, Broccoli," she replied. "Still, let's see if there's what we need in that room. What's a risotto anyway?"

"It means small rice," I said.

"How do you know that?" Booksie asked.Yôur favorite stories at novelhall.com

I shrugged. "No clue! But I think it's when you cook rice in broth instead of in water."

"Let's see if they even have rice before we freak out," Calamity said. "It'll be one hell of a trial if you need to bring the ingredients yourself."

We slipped into the lunch-break room, careful to check our corners (and look up) as we entered, but the room was untrapped. Instead, what we found was a pretty large, if ancient, kitchen.

Things came together surprisingly quickly. We sauteed the veggies in oil and butter, adding the minced garlic and chopped onions as we went, then we filled a second pan with rice and transferred the broth over one ladleful at a time while Awen kept the stove warm.

I was starting to get worried about the time. The rice was cooking, but it was still a little stiff.

Still, with little time left, we started to plate the rice, adding the sauteed veggies, then dumping a generous amount of cheese, butter, and salt atop it all, because if the base wasn't great we could at least mask it all with delicious cheese.

I was realising with a pang that my last meal was a while ago, because even if I wasn't super hungry, the smells of our cooking was doing mean things to my tummy.

"We have extra!" Calamity cheered.

"Should we make the portions bigger?" Booksie asked.

"We should taste test it," Caprica said with a serious nod. I think that she was mostly making a logical excuse though, especially knowing about sylph appetites.

We didn't need much encouragement to grab a few extra bowls and pour some of the rice in with a bit of the leftover cheese and veggies. Then we dug in. "Mmm!" I said. "It's yummy!"

"The rice is a little undercooked," Booksie said, being a little more critical. "And I think we might have added too much garlic. There's such a thing as too much. Oh... and I think we didn't chop some of the veggies that well, I think I just bit into a bit of root."

"We'll just have to hope that it's enough to pass," Amaryllis said with a nod. "Worst case, we simply murder our way through."

"Ah, that's a little... violent," Awen said.

"I'm just saying: it's an option," Amaryllis said. "Now, grab a plate with those fancy human hands of yours."

We stepped out into the courtroom once more, this time carrying a couple of plates each. We had to walk carefully, since we didn't want all of our hard work to end up splashed across the floor.

The judge banged his gavel, then wiped the edge of his robe across his mouth. "Is that evidence you bring before us?" he asked.

Caprica nodded. "Yes, your honour, as requested, we've brought some... evidence that we'd like to present to the jury. With your permission?"

The jury looked like they would riot if the judge didn't say yes. He gestured us forwards, and we placed our plates on the lip of the barrier before the jury. The judge, of course, got the biggest plate.

"It's time for a deliberation!" the judge declared.

Then he and the other goblins started to eat.

My appetite plummeted, and not just because I'd just had a snack. It took everything I had not to let loose with Cleaning magic as the goblins completely ignored the cutlery we brought out and started shoving fistfulls of the risotto we'd cooked into their mouths.

Within seconds, they were licking their plates clean.

"Jury, what is your verdict?" the judge asked.

One of the goblins stood up, burped loudly, then licked his chops. "Satisfied!"

The judge banged his gavel. "The court finds you... not guilty. You may proceed out of the courtroom."

***