Chapter 161: Unshakeable Hawthorn (2)
Unshakeable Hawthorn (2)
I stared blankly at the hawthorn plant. It was usually just a part of the background that I didnt pay much attention to, but it caught my eye today for some reason.
No, I knew exactly why. I was painfully aware of the reason behind my fixation.
It feels empty without it around. Its something Im used to seeing in the club room.
His words echoed in my mind, causing me to bite my lip. Maybe I visited too much, making oppa miss the hawthorn plant more than me.
Should I visit less often? But as Senior mentioned, chances to be alone with oppa might be hard to come by again. What should I do?
Louise, whats on your mind?
My endless train of thought was broken by Ainters voice.
I was just looking at the hawthorn.
I flinched for a moment, but I was able to respond calmly. Although I was indeed looking at the hawthorn, it was too embarrassing to explain the reason.
At my response, Ainters gaze also turned to the hawthorn.
It looks lifeless. Maybe its missing its owner.
I nodded absently as he murmured sadly.
While I wasnt sure if it was really missing its owner or it was just our imagination, the hawthorn did seem less vibrant than usual.
Of course, we hadnt neglected it just because oppa was away. Wed been taking good care of it, especially since it was a gift from Irina
Irina.
I almost bit my lip again. I wouldnt feel this way if it was a gift I gave to oppa. The thought of cherishing a gift from someone else made me feel a complex mix of emotions.
I know that Im acting strange. Oppa has every right to receive and treasure gifts from others.
But why was it bothering me so much? Logically speaking, there was no issue with it. Yet, my instincts were sending me a warning.
Gifts
Ive given many gifts to oppa, too. The problem was that they were all consumables that would disappear after being used. A visible gift, like this hawthorn plant, would probably leave a stronger impression.
Yes, I should give him something lasting, something that would remind him of me every time he saw it.
Would oppa like it if I gave him flowers?
I hesitantly decided to ask Erich. While it wasnt odd for Irina, who was in the gardening club, to give plants as gifts, it felt somewhat awkward for me.
Moreover, should I add another plant to the ones he was already caring for? It might be fine if he enjoyed gardening, but it might be a burden if he were obligated to grow them only because it was a gift.
Him?
Erich stroked his chin, clearly having never considered the idea.
Im not sure.
His response was disappointing. It reminded me that Erich and oppa used to be awkward around each other.
He doesnt have preferences.
Or maybe you just dont know them.
Lather said what I wanted to say.
Everyone had preferences; if they liked something, then there must also be things they disliked.
Its true. Hes always accepted whatever he was given ever since we were children.
Erich protested, but his words hardly convinced me.
Oppa wasnt one to wear his heart on his sleeve. Even those close to him would find it hard to decipher his feelings, let alone Erich, with whom he had an awkward relationship.
Reading my skepticism, Erichs explanation grew longer. He insisted that oppa kept every gift in his room, never threw anything away before it was broken, and never refused anything.
Hyung was solely focused on his training, showing little interest in anything else.
That makes sense. To achieve his skill level, he mustve dedicated himself entirely to training, Rutis agreed, nodding.
Really? Was he so absorbed in his training that he had no time to develop his personal tastes?
Even though they were known to be awkward around each other, it became more convincing when it came from both Erich and Rutis.
Thats too much.
My heart ached in a different way than I expected. So he has been struggling since he was a child.
Given the threat they posed, they were one of the tribes that the empire utterly destroyed. They had high loyalty to Kagan, with most of the adult men participating in the war. We wiped them out in the last battle.
Are they still alive?
We cant be certain. Its just speculation based on the 2nd Managers testimony. It could just be a similar tribe
The minister trailed off, seemingly displeased. The northern nomads had distinct characteristics for each tribe. If it was based on testimony, then the chances that it was the Chauzid tribe were high.
This was maddening. Dealing with Kagans lineage was troublesome enough, and now the Chauzid tribe was possibly still out there?
There could be more.
Theres a saying that worrying about things that havent happened is foolish. Yet, the survival of Kagans lineage had already occurred.
Just because something happened once didnt mean it would happen again. However, following Kagans lineage, the existence of the Chauzid tribe had also been confirmed. If things continued in this way, then there was no guarantee it wouldnt happen a third or fourth time.
The thought of Kagans forces made my head spin. He was almost on the level of Genghis Khan, leading a near-indestructible force. Even if only half of that force survived, it would still be a disaster.
Im telling you this so youre aware. Dont complain later that you heard it from someone else and ask why I didnt tell you.
Understood.
It would have certainly been disappointing to hear this from someone other than the minister.
***
My mind was spinning with thoughts, but I forced myself to calm down. It wasnt like there was much I could do about it anyway since I was under probation. Concern and hatred for the North were like a passive skill for an imperial civil servant; others would handle it well.
Ive brought what you asked for.
Besides, I couldnt show any anxiety in front of Louise, could I?
She didnt even complain despite the sudden errand to shuttle the hawthorn. I felt grateful. Truly
Whats this?
I looked at the hawthorn in Louises left hand and then at the pot in her right hand. Why did it come as a buy one, get one? I was pretty sure I only ordered one.
Its a gift from me!
Louise responded with a bright smile.
I cant help it if its a gift.
It was only proper to gratefully accept gifts.
Thank you. Ill take good care of it.
Since I was already tending to a hawthorn, adding another flower wouldnt be a problem. It might even brighten up the place.
I chose it carefully because you said you felt empty.
Our club leader is the best.
We wouldnt need laws if only everyone in the world were as kind as Marghetta and Louise.
***
Seeing oppas happy expression made me feel proud.
It seems I made a really good decision in choosing the lilies.
Just as I told oppa, I selected it with great care and with all my heart.
I even looked up the language of flowers.
I thought that the meaning behind it was as important as how beautiful it looked, so I researched each one. I chose lilies because its meaning appealed to me.
And during that process, I also learned the meaning behind the hawthorn.
Irina
My head went cold at the thought of Irina.
An unexpected challenge rose right from where I least expected it.
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