Chapter 216: My Name Is... (4)
The 1st Manager, who was now at peace, arrived safely at her mansion. Even though she handled her liquor well, it was worrying to think that she might regret everything tomorrow once she woke up.
I let out a sigh of relief after making sure that the 1st Manager was escorted into her mansion by the maids.
Thank goodness.
I almost made her cry again at the last moment. I ended up saying something quite risky, perhaps because I was also dazed.
“I’ve grown quite fond of you. I’ll seriously consider it."
That statement made me cringe even now. While it sounded like a sincere promise, it could easily be interpreted as a classic civil servant’s dodge technique.
I realized it immediately after saying it. I genuinely meant that I would consider it, but those words could be taken as a polite refusal.
Thankfully, the 1st Manager seemed to take it at face value this time.
What a relief. Another misunderstanding might have caused her to collapse from dehydration.
Is it really a relief?
I couldn't help but chuckle wryly. Stopping the 1st Manager's tears was good, but my own dilemma was far from over.
After the Mage Duchess was Louise and Irina, and now even the 1st Manager. It was baffling how the confessions seemed to multiply over time. Was this some kind of glitch or bug?
How should I look at the 1st Manager now?
Honestly, the 1st Manager's confession was quite pitiful, maybe even a bit tragic. It felt like seeing the bottom of her heart.
If it were just a simple confession, then it would’ve been my problem alone to deal with. But I felt at a loss on how to face her from then on after seeing her beg and cry.
...It'll be fine.
Yes, I'll just trust in the 1st Manager. With her remarkable resilience and lively nature, she'll just act like nothing happened. Then, I'd just follow her lead.
What happened today reinforced my decision.
I won't go back to the capital for a while.
For the sake of my mental health, I wouldn't even look at the capital.
I knew I made this resolve before and failed miserably, but I believe that this time would be different.
Please, let it be.
***
I delayed my return to the academy and wandered around the capital for a while.
Visiting the tower where the Mage Duchess lived wasn’t an option. The Crown Prince suggested that I return through the mages at the Crown Prince's palace, but I figured that a short detour would be fine since there was no strict deadline.
I had intended to return immediately, but I couldn't bring myself to go back so casually after seeing the 1st Manager's desperate tears.
I felt the need to confide in someone and to seek advice on what to do.
But there’s no one to talk to.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t anyone who came to mind.
Telling the Minister or the Prosecutor’s Office felt like exposing the 1st Manager's embarrassing past, and talking to Marghetta or the pastry club seemed insane.
The Crown Prince? He would just mock me, saying something like, ‘It's good for the Executive Manager’s children to have many mothers.’ And the Crown Princess would be too happy about her close friend's marriage to care.
My social circle was so narrow that I didn’t have any friends...
"That's why I came to you."
I laughed softly, touching the gravestone.
Wasn’t it ironic that I ended up here after searching for someone to talk to?
But what choice did I have? They were the only ones I could call friends, and telling them wouldn't let the secret slip.
"I couldn't get Boyar wine. I'll bring it next year, so bear with this for now."
I poured some liquor I bought on the way over the gravestones. After all, it wasn’t polite to ask for advice while being empty-handed.
I hesitated for a moment in front of Hecate's gravestone, but then I poured it all.
Talking about love in front of my ex-wife...
And the fact that I was already leaning toward a positive interpretation showed where my heart truly lay.
I’m already wavering.
A bitter smile crossed my face. My true feelings finally surfaced after getting drunk and ranting at their graves.
I didn’t really dislike the confessions. In fact, I liked the idea of having people care for me.
These were people who genuinely liked me. They might even become the first real family I’ve ever had.
My family...
Sure. I had the Krasius family now, but they didn’t feel like my true family. Technically, I was just a thief who stole this body.
Before that, I had no family. As an orphan, the best I could do was to consider the other kids and the orphanage director as my family.
But these new bonds were different. They stemmed from my own actions and efforts. These people liked me for who I was.
They would be a family created purely by my own abilities.
Nice.
I couldn’t stop laughing, like something inside me had broken.
The more family, the better. Having even one person care about me was already a blessing, but to have five? I should be bowing in gratitude.
...But would I really be satisfied with just five? Could someone who had already lost six potential friends or family members be content with just five?
"You crazy bastard."
I shook my head at my own ridiculous thoughts. Of course I should be satisfied. Even having one person, like Marghetta, was more than enough.
And it wasn’t like there were any more people left to confess to me.
All the women I know have already confessed.
I laughed alone for a long time.
***
It was an unfamiliar sky.
"Uh, Executive Manager?"
"Ah."
And an unfamiliar voice.
I slowly got up, my body aching from sleeping outside for the first time in a while.
Then, I saw empty bottles scattered everywhere; the gravestones were still damp, and my clothes were covered in dirt. Lastly, I saw the national cemetery caretaker fidgeting, looking very uneasy.
...Ah.
"My apologies."
I had only meant to lie down for a moment but ended up sleeping through the night, right until the caretaker's patrol.
Damn it.
My face felt hot with embarrassment. I had managed to get the 1st Manager to her mansion instead of leaving her on the street, but now I looked like a homeless drunk myself.
And I was very drunk, too. It was definitely not how I wanted anyone to see me.
"I-I'll clean this up!"
The caretaker hurriedly rushed over as I started picking up the bottles.
"No. I brought them, so I'll clean them up."
"It's fine! Keeping this place clean is my job!"
In the end, I left empty-handed, pushed out by the determined caretaker.
Damn it.
I really shouldn’t come back to the capital until the New Year’s Ball.
I wouldn’t be a man but a beast if I came back before /genesisforsaken