C133

What do you want now that you don't know your heart? I can't bear to disappoint Xia Juntang, but I don't want to make the emperor sad either.

What he has done to me, what he has done to me, what he has done to me, and what he has done to others, is not false.

The feeling of having nowhere to hide let him see it.

At noon, he went to Imperial Concubine Mu's place for lunch. In the afternoon, the entire palace became lively as people continuously entered and left the palace. The palace maid told me that there would be a show to watch tonight in the palace.

I was still standing on the second floor, looking down at everything. The cold wind couldn't sort out the complicated feelings in my heart.

The sky had finally darkened under everyone's expectation. The entire palace was filled with cheers, red lanterns hung up from all directions, drums, singing, laughter, and the wind rushed over, making this lonely Zhenghua palace all the more lonely. The radiance of the lanterns stretched my shadow long.

Eunuch Zhang came in from the palace and said lightly, "My lord, my lord, the emperor invites my lord to come to the Drizzly Snow Garden to watch a play. All the masters of the imperial harem are present, so it is best for my lord to not be absent."

"Yes." I followed him out.

It was extremely cold outside, so much so that people couldn't even open their eyes from the blowing of the wind. This is the atmosphere of the new year, but this is the first time I have experienced such a year. When I can remember, it was always with Mother and me during the new year, closing the door and lighting a candle to wrap dumplings around the stove. When I opened the lid, I saw steaming hot dumplings in front of me. Mother would smile happily at me and say, "Mother's Zhiqiu has grown up another year."

Mother and I were the only two people who never felt lonely. Today, there were many people who spent the new year together, listening to only stories about scenes that had been told by others. There were people everywhere that could drown me in a wave, but there was a sense of disappointment and loneliness that had never existed before, so they heavily surrounded me.

There were snacks and fruits on the table, but there was no appetite at all. In this place, it was hard to tell what was happening on the stage.

I sat quietly, listening to the laughter and chatter of those around me, feeling that all this had nothing to do with me, that it was really a little cold, that in the midst of all these people I had learned to protect myself, that it was best not to show off in the palace, that the coats he had given me for the winter were quite magnificent, that I seldom wore outside, and that if I left, no one would know, and I quietly got up and went outside.

When I finally walked out, there was no longer a sea of people outside the garden, and there was no more noise. Outside the garden, the flowers were blooming in clusters, the green trees were dim. I sat down under the azaleas.

In previous years, I would also take a bunch of wild cuckoo in the mountain to put in a vase, my mother always laugh at me, why like flowers so much, I actually prefer to see the smile on her face.

Mother, today is the new year. Are you and Father reunited? Zhiqiu is no longer alone. Zhiqiu also has children. Looking up at the dark night, she revealed a faint smile.

"The men from the Lee family are here again." Behind the azaleas there was a sound of exasperation.

"That's right, Consort Li still wants to be the empress, but the emperor already said that she'll be the queen in May."

"Whatever, we can't go and worry the emperor now anyway. His Majesty's in the mood to watch a show. If we go, he'll probably be furious, and his head will land on the ground."

"What about the Li family?"

"Why don't you tell the honorable king? After all, it can be considered as the military information from the northwest."

"Is that it?" That eunuch was somewhat suspicious.

The other one chuckled, "What's wrong with that? You said having someone to be the scapegoat is better than letting the two of us go. Besides, the Prince has been in the northwest for a few months, isn't he still alive?"

"You're right. Then we should secretly find someone to send to the Emperor."

I didn't mean to listen to their conversation, but I was a little confused. Didn't the whole palace know about Xia Junchang's assassination in the northwest?

Somehow, I got up and followed the two father-in-law quietly.

Xia Junchang is still watching the show, but he won't appear within a 100% range of what I'm watching. No matter what the Emperor did, although it seemed like he had no intentions, he was actually quite deliberate.

The two eunuchs were afraid that they would alarm the emperor. They said that Xia Juntang would go see his mufei in a while, so they decided they might as well send it to Grand Concubine Yi.

I wanted to see him, I thought, even from a distance. I didn't speak, I didn't call him, I just wanted to see him from a distance.

Walking alone in the quiet imperial harem, it was exceptionally loud as he stepped on the snow.

A bit lighter. After passing through the land of white magnolia, there was only a field of yellow leaves with the snow sleeping on it. The fragrance was no longer there.

Grand Concubine Yi's palace doors were wide open and lanterns were already lit. The Grand Concubine was waiting for her, Xia Junchang. She must have been filled with anticipation.

I peeked my head out to see that Grand Concubine Yi was walking back and forth. The clumsy nun sighed. "Grand Imperial Concubine, don't be anxious. The third prince will come over."

"I want to see him. I don't know if my Jun Tang has changed. You're really going to wake me up this afternoon." Grand Concubine Yi sighed repeatedly.

The clumsy aunt continued, "Grand Concubine, you mustn't mention anything about him being injured in front of the three kings. Otherwise, he'll definitely be in pain again."

The grand concubine grew impatient. "I know, I know. You've said it many times, I won't mention it. He said he was doing well, so I'll just agree to it."