Chapter 228 – Watch the Hat

Chapter 228 – Watch the Hat





John dismissed the window. ‘Not as strong as you thought, huh?’ he thought, lying on the cold ground of the run-down house.

“I’ve had it for today,” Lydia announced. Even with the knowledge that it just had been a copy, she was still shaken to the core. Justifiably, as John had to agree.

“I will be taking a break too,” he said and his elementals took a relieved breath, even Siena. That miscarriage of an eldritch horror had taken the winds out of their sails.

They returned to the mansion. Aclysia went to tag out Thana when it came to Nathalia duty. John, who still had to stay abstinent, stayed in the living room. He was thankful that the dragoness had taken a room on the third floor. All of the moaning that, without a shadow of a doubt, went on up there did not reach his ears. As long as he did not let his curiosity check on what his familiars were doing, he would be fine.Reaad the latest stories on novelbin(.)com

“So, what is your idea for the rest of this fucking day?” Thana asked, “And I mean fucking day literally for once.”

“Well... depends on Jane.” His girlfriend perked up a bit. “What is your plan?”

“Ya know, meditate, train martial arts – Why?”

“Because If you wanted to continue running dungeons I would be up for going back in like thirty minutes. Otherwise, I’d grab miss madness here...” He gestured at Thana who laughed and waved. “...and do a speedrun for the other Quest.”

Rave tilted her head and tapped her index finger against her glossy lips in a steady beat as she thought about that. “Mhm, nah, I feel like I am close to tapping into something nice with that cat form, you know? Gotta practice something aside from my stats. Unlike ya, I don’t get to do it all at the same time.”

John nodded. “Thought as much... small addendum to the plan: we will return for a small break whenever the Flask is filled up. I don’t want to waste resources any more than I already have.”

“Sounds great,” Rave smirked and kissed him on the cheek. “See ya later. Hopefully you’re allowed to use your dick again by then.”

Following that whisper she left the room to do her training somewhere more isolated, leaving John with Thana. Everyone else was doing their own thing or had gone incorporeal. Not like John would need them for what followed

“So, when are we going?” Thana asked. “I want to punch something so hard it literally fucking explodes again. That was fun.” Her gum-revealing grin was accompanied with a small bit of cackling. It created little echoes in John’s head.

“I want to just sit down for a moment first,” John told her and relaxed on the couch. Luckily, he didn’t have to worry about his suit getting wrinkly. Enchanted cloth was awesome.

He pulled the new Legendary acquisition from his inventory and looked at it with some surprise. It was a black fedora, fitting for his suit, with a white band running around it. The small feather on the left side made it look slightly cheesy, however. ‘I don’t know if I want this to be good.’ John had more than a few opinions about fedoras, all of them informed by ‘M’lady’ memes.



‘Huh. So that’s a thing. Now what do those attributes do?’ he tapped on them one after another.

Mental Resistance and the Stat bonuses were easy enough. Form-Fitting meant that it would fit his head perfectly. Perfect Hair was weird, apparently it would restyle his hair when he had the hat on? Time to test that.

He put on the hat. He let it rest there for a few seconds. He looked at the woman who followed his actions with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, Thana, tell me earnestly what you think of my hair now,” he said and took it off again.

“Tempting, but no.” John softly shook his head. “I think that we could probably get some rather strong items and Achievements out of the deal if we went there but A: I do not look forward to getting one-shot by some assault you can’t react to on time and B: Gaia will totally come and patch that up if we abuse it. Oh, also C: The Quest is for Tier 15 specifically, and I want to beat that.”

“I very much doubt that there are level 300 mobs that I can’t murder double-fucking-dead before they get to you, but sure, have it your way,” Thana agreed, and they left the mansion grounds again. Well, that was the plan, but John noticed something on the way.

There was someone. That someone was wearing full templar armour: a bucket helmet with a golden cross over the front, heavy chainmail, a white tabard and cape. John could see the black cross on the cape, together with the eagle on golden ground. He was pretty certain that the same coat of arms was on the tabard, but that was hidden underneath an out of place gardener’s apron.

The knight was trimming the hedges with a nail clipper. Each little clip was executed with perfection in mind. His sword and shield, the latter also bearing the coat of arms, lying on a respectfully spread blanket. “DEUS VULT, guests and allies of the great princess of Prussia,” the man greeted them in an overly enthusiastic manner.

‘Can you even use Deus Vult as a greeting? Ah, whatever,’ John thought and raised his hand to return the greeting. Thana’s laughing interrupted him before he could say a single word.

The shrill sounds echoed throughout the garden. “What the fuck are you supposed to be?!” she asked.

“I am Konrad Kamradsrat, Großmeister of the Knights of Teuton... DEUS VULT!” The templar spoke with booming pride.

“That does not answer my fucking question,” Thana continued to snicker. “I mean, why are you clipping this hedge?”

“I was strolling on the daily patrol when I noticed that this hedge was not perfectly trimmed. See here!” He gripped a giant water level and held it up against the hedge. “The hedge tilts 2 degrees out towards the top! Unacceptable! Therefore, as the highest servant of her majesty, the princess of mighty Prussia, the one true country standing for our glorious order, I saw it as my DEUS VULT given duty to correct the error of this myself. My apologies, you should not have seen me.”

John was hardly holding back his laughter as well by now. The guy was a very meme-matic figure. “Just out of curiosity, what do you think about Israel?”

“WE HAVE RETAKEN JERUSALEM, THREE HURRAHS’!”

“HURRAH!” One knight suddenly appeared from a sideway.

“HURRAH!” another one peaked out from behind a bush, holding another nail clipper in his heavy gauntlets.

“HURRAH!” A third knight appeared from a trap door right in front of John.

“DEUS VULT! Comrades, let us vanquish all of the asymmetric branches in this garden and then resume yesterday’s patrol duties! For the princess!”

““DEUS VULT! DEUS VULT! DEUS VULT!”” the knights chanted in unison as they continued their work. With a smile John went on and left the building. A smile that died the moment he was outside and no longer needed to put up a show.

Thana was still grinning, but there was a confused sparkle in her eyes. “They said they were there since yesterday,” she pointed out.

“Yes... did you notice them?” John wanted to know.

The blood mage violently shook her head, white and azure hair flying, “Didn’t hear a fucking thing.”

“Observe didn’t work on them either...” John informed her. He had tried it on every single one of the knights. None of them had shown any windows whatsoever. Aura sight had revealed very little: the glow had been suppressed and was only leaking out from their visors. “I’ll have to ask Lydia about this later.”

The fact that there was an order here that was so good at hiding that not even Thana with her insane senses noticed was simultaneously calming and discomforting. At least they were pretty obviously on their side.

‘Well, Lydia’s side,’ John reminded himself. He wasn’t her underling, he was just repaying a debt; once that was over fate may pitch them against each other one day. There was no way to know for certain. He liked to imagine that they were close now, but he had been burned before. ‘Best I become stronger. That’s the only way to be safe.’